TIPS FOR A SOBER ST. PATRICK'S DAY

SPITZER FOR EMPERORS CLUB VIP

NSFW by the way...

I consider myself pretty experienced and knowledgeable when it comes to sexual innuendo but I still have no idea what a Tony Danza is.

2008 NCAA TOURNAMENT ALL-PORNO NAME TEAM

TheDagger has their NCAA Tournament All-Porno name team up and I must say they are extremely lucky Lucious Pusey decided to take a pounding on the football field and not get penetrated playing basketball.

Third team:

G - Desire Gabou, Western Kentucky
G - LeKendric Longmire, Oregon
F - Luis Colon, Kansas State
F - Travis Lay, American
F - Lance Stemler, Indiana

Second team:

G - Dau Jok, Oklahoma
F - Taj Finger, Stanford
F - Gyno Pomare, San Diego
F - Surry Wood, UNC
C - Longar Longar, Oklahoma

And now for your starters:

G - Lee Cummard, BYU
G - Da'Veed Dildy, Stanford
G - Cam Long, George Mason
F - Wayne Chism, Tennessee
F - Alexis Wangmene, Texas

Personally I think my favorite name is Lee Cummard(pictured above accepting his award for best Cummard face) for BYU. It's always fun to make fun of a Mormon on St. Patty's Day. Those poor goofy white bastards are suppose to refrain from all alcohol. Interesting how I do not even have one Mormon friend. My motto is a friend should never come between you and your booze especially on this Christmas Day for alcoholics.

168 POINTS!!

The Seattle Supersonics should probably just pack their bags and move to Oklahoma City already after get destroyed by the Denver Nuggets yesterday 168-116.

Kenyon Martin couldn't believe the box score, so he doesn't expect anybody else to, either.

"A lot of people are going to think it's a misprint," Martin said. "A lot of people will think there's no way they scored that many points. It's unbelievable. There are no words for it."
Can't Stop, Won't Stop
It got ugly fast for the Sonics, who gave up 168 points to the Nuggets, the third-most in regulation in NBA history.

The Nuggets set NBA season highs for points in a half with 84 and points in a game with a 168-116 rout of the Seattle SuperSonics on Sunday night.

The Western Conference in the NBA is so ridiculously good that the Nuggets would not even make the playoffs if they started today despite have a .606 winning percentage. They might as well just take the Eastern Conference and put it down like Old Yeller because they really have no prayer of beating their Western counterparts in the Finals.

Oh yeah, in other related news the Houston Rockets have now won 22 straight despite my idiotic claim they were done and buried once Yao Ming went down with a stress fracture 3 weeks ago.

Holy shit, the NBA really is growing on me this season. Either my brain is getting smaller(most likely) or David Stern is making the game "Fan"tastic once again with guys like Chris Paul, Kobe Bryant, and Lebron James duking it out for MVP honors.

JOIN THE SPORTSCRACK.COM TOURNAMENT POOL

It's that time of the year again to join the 3rd annual Sportscrack.com NCAA Tournament Pool.
We are giving away $75 worth of Sportscrack.com and/or Drinklikechampiontoday.com merchandise to the winner so be sure to sign up as quickly as possible to make sure you are included in the pool. Of course it is free to join so don't be a vagina a puss out on this one.

The winner will have their name plastered on Sportscrack for the world to see to enjoy an endless array of wealth, good luck, and love that will be boundless for years to come.

So click here to join the Sportscrack NCAA Tournament Pool.

I've already heard new UCLA head football coach Rick Neuheisel has like 5 different aliases on our group page. So invite as many people as possible so that dirty douchebag doesn't win it.

DICK VITALE FORGOT TO TAKE HIS MEDS

I am absolutely loving Bob Knight's expression on his face when Vitale starts spitting out his shit about Knight going back to Indiana. Vitale's enthusiasm is great but sometimes he needs to sit back, take one of his crazy pills with some Scotch, and then rethink what he is about to say before actually screaming it in front of millions of viewers.

Shine on you crazy diamond!

Video HT: AwfulAnnouncing