TIGER WOODS YOU SUCK!

Tiger Woods cost me a $5 bet with my wife yesterday by finishing 4th. I made the bet thinking he would win the Masters because supposedly he has gone 4-5 months without any nookie while in "Sex Rehab" and like Costanza he would be able to cure cancer or some shit since he was abstinent. Fucker couldn't even beat Lefty. I love Verne Lundquist thoughts on Tiger's shot: "I don't think he's pleased!"

Tiger needs to go back to doing what he did before leaving golf: sinking putts while nailing sluts.

TEXAS STADIUM IMPLODES

Sorry it took so long. The reason why the implosion was delayed was because Tony Romo managed to fumble the control.