TAKE THE RAVENS +1 OVER THE JETS

I know it's the first game of the season and the preseason doesn't mean shit but I think the Baltimore defense is going to force Mark Sanchez to scramble a lot and throw into coverage. The Ravens don't have Ed Reed back there tonight but Zibby and Landry will get their hands on some errant Sanchise throws. I'm looking forward to seeing Ray Lewis blitz and go against the Terminator John Connor. If Connor can pick up the blitz like he did in preseason and showed on Hard Knocks then it could be one of those perfect storms. Two incredible forces colliding and causing the East Coast to shift.

This will be a low scoring game. The Jets probably have the best defense in the league but I think the Ravens will get at least two touchdowns tonight. The Jets won't put a lot of points on the board unless they come from Raven's miscues. Joey Flacco will outshine the Sanchise tonight on the big stage.

Prediction: Baltimore 17 Jets 13

SUCKS TO BE A DETROIT LIONS FAN

I know the rules are the rules but this has to sting any ref who has to make this call. Lions wide receiver Calvin Johnson caught the ball. There is no doubt. He got three feet down and had possession. But the rules state you must have the ball firmly even after falling to the ground whether in bounds or out. Damn. So instead of beating the hated Bears in Chicago and finally winning a road game despite Matthew Stafford getting knocked out with a shoulder injury the Lions are back to familiar territory: a loss.

What do you think about the rule? Should it be changed or is it good the way it is?

NEW AXE COMMERCIAL: WASH YOUR BALLS

This might be the greatest fake infomercial I have ever seen. I'm surprised it would ever air in the US of A considering how conservative we are. Nothing like a clean set of balls to start off your day right.

Video HT to Josh

THIS IS HOW MY WEEKEND FELT

Watermelon Facial - watch more funny videos

What an absolutely frustrating weekend of football. First all three Georgia teams (UGA, TECH, and Georgia State) lose and look horrible in the process. Second Notre Dame loses to Denard "ShoeLace" Robinson at home. The guy had over 500 total yards of offense. Fuck he's good. And then third the Atlanta Falcons lose in overtime to the Pittsburgh Steelers because Matt Ryan can not stop locking into receivers.

It was like a melon to the face all weekend long. The Notre Dame loss stung the most of course. They looked great with their first possession as they marched down the field at ease against a weak Michigan D. And then Dayne Crist gets some mysterious injury/concussion/the football Gods hate ND ailment. The backups Tommy Rees and Nate Montana come in. Holy shit it looks like 2007 all over again and I'm literally on the edge of throwing up. Turnover after turnover and Michigan takes advantage to go up 21-7 at half. "No Dayne no win" is what I tell everybody who will listen (my dogs). Then all of a sudden Dayne is back in the second half. He looks great. They go down and score immediately and all of a sudden we have ourselves a ball game. The defense steps it up and "contains" Shoelace after he ripped off 178 yards rushing in the first half. When Notre Dame is given chance after chance (two huge missed field goals by the Michigan kicker) they still can't take advantage until Dayne hits Kyle Rudolph for a 96 yard touchdown pass with 3 minutes to go in the game. I'm screaming my fucking head off. Notre Dame has finally taken the lead and all of a sudden I get about 2000 texts saying what a play and game. But as a Notre Dame fan you know it's far from over especially when it comes to Michigan. Shoelace takes over. He can't be stopped and they march down the field and score with 30 seconds left in the game. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. But then Notre Dame gets good field position and Dayne hits Michael Floyd for two completions to put us within striking distance. We need a touchdown to win because Brian Kelly elected not to kick a field goal at the end of the first half and instead went for the touchdown. It failed of course when Nate decided to throw it to the guy in the third row instead of one of his receivers. Hindsight is a bitch and now it appears to have fucked them. So no game tying field goal but instead Dayne has the chance to put himself in the history books. All he has to do is lob it up to one of his many talented and tall receivers and hope they come down with it against a very porous and undersized Michigan secondary. And then what happens? No clue. I blacked out and don't even want to talk about it.

Straight melon to the face all thanks to Shoelace. I said on Friday that one player can't win a game in college football. I was wrong. Robinson lived up to everything the pundits were saying last week. Notre Dame couldn't stop him and it's the reason why they lost. If you are a Notre Dame fan please stop with the "it's not fair because Dayne was out for almost a hole half" excuse. Michigan won the game fair and square. They had no turnovers and ND had three. Ballgame right there. I will give a ton of credit to Notre Dame for fighting back and making it a ball game. They didn't quit and you could tell this is a much different team from last year with their expressions after the game. They looked pissed off. They looked hungry. They didn't want to sing the Alma Mater at the end. You could tell in their eyes. They just wanted to win.

It's about time.