JOEY FLACCO DOING HIS BEST JERSEY SHORE

Baltimore QB Joey Flacco is straight nailing the Guido look. The guy even has the perfect name already. I can only imagine how many people are going to dress up this year for Halloween as fucking Snooki or the Situation. It's going to be so overplayed and unoriginal that the person dressed up will be just like the characters from the MTV Show. An unoriginal douche.

That's why I'm going as Mark Zuckerberg. I already wear Gap (actually Old Navy, I can't afford Gap stuff) and I got the Jew nose down pretty well. And I do run my own website. I've also been sued. I might not have billions in Facebook stock but I do have thousands of unsold SportsCrack.com t-shirts. Surely they will go up in value like baseball cards have. Yep, Zuckerberg it is. Anybody else who dresses up like him is either a rich Silicon Valley prick or just copying my style.

Flacco image via TheBigLead via BaltimoreSun

NEW LEBRON JAMES NIKE COMMERCIAL

Personally I got no fight in this pony show. I'm not a big NBA guy and I don't really care for Lebron James or the Miami Heat. I root for the Atlanta Hawks but it's not like I have season tickets or follow any teams like I do college football, MLB, NHL, and the NFL. In a way I can see why Lebron left Cleveland. It's a shithole that is cold the majority of the time. Most people who leave Ohio never come back. There's a good reason. Even Drew Carey hates the place now. Now Miami isn't my cup of tea either but it sure as hell is a much nicer place to live. It's not like he picked the Knicks or the Celtics. He decided to go South. Can't blame him. Plus he is getting paid a shitload of money to be on a team with Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh. Try not to pass it up. True he left Cleveland which was his adopted hometown (actually he's from Akron) and a city which embraced him as their own but the guy has been told since he started staring at girl's butts in middle school that he is the greatest thing to walk the earth. His Mom banged Delonte West for fuck's sake. He had to get out of Cleveland. He knows his legacy is nothing without titles and despite his greatest attempts while wearing a Cav's uni he wasn't going to get one. So now he is in Miami wear he can bang all the Latino's his heart desires and legitimately compete for NBA Titles. To me it doesn't matter other than the fact he chose not to play in Atlanta. I don't see why it matters unless you were or are a Cleveland, Miami or Lebron fan.

In conclusion we all knew the guy was a self appointed "King" so why do we even care to give him the attention he so deeply craves? Because a little piece of us all wants to be just like Lebron. It's fucking sick but it's true.