PHIL FULMER STEPS DOWN AS HEAD COACH AT TENNESSEE

He finally caved in his chair so to speak. Phil Fulmer, the always classy head coach for the Volunteers these past 17 years and who became the inspiration behind EDSBS's Fulmer Cup is now leaving to go on to bigger and better things. I guess that would mean Dunkin Donuts or death. I don't have much to say about Fulmer or Tennessee for that matter. Never been a fan of either so I will let my correspondent from Alabama sum up my feelings for "that school"....

This of course is bad news for Florida and Georgia fans. Tennessee has been on a spiral staircase to nowhere ever since Kelley Washington enrolled but now if they can get a good head coach (Cincy's Brian Kelly or Duke's David Cutcliffe come to mind) they can quickly turn around the once proud program. As much as I dislike the Volunteers it just doesn't seem right for them to be 1-5 in the SEC this year so I guess getting rid of Fulmer was inevitable. That National Championship season of 1998 seems as old as the Civil War to the Volunteers simple minded folks.

In honor of Fulmer leaving we are discounting all of the Volunqueers shirts to $8 for the next 2 days. It only seems right.

KNOCKERS TRAIL BY 3

Fox's Kenny Albert had a bit of a Freudian slip coming back from commercial break during yesterday's Titans-Knockers...I mean Packers game. I have no idea why he would say knockers. He must have been thinking about the knocking of kids at his door on Halloween night. Yeah, that must be it.

Video HT: FanIQ

GUNS UP HORNS DOWN 39-33 SHIRT

In honor of the Red Raiders upsetting the #1 ranked Longhorns in Lubbock on a last second touchdown catch from Michael Crabtree (Heisman moment) we have come up with this "GUNS UP HORNS DOWN 39-33" t-shirt. On the front of this vintage feel and look black t-shirt is the date of game "November 1, 2008" and the statement "Showdown for the Ages" on each side of the guns along with the "GUNS UP 39-33 HORNS DOWN" slogan. On the back of the shirt it simply says "BEVO IT'S WHAT'S FOR DINNER."

Get these one of a kind commemorative UNLICENSED shirts and celebrate the greatest win ever in Lubbock, Texas before they are gone.

Shirts are available for the low price of $17 at this link.

This guy can't get enough of the shirts...settle down big boy before you blow your load....

LERYN FRANCO GETS ALL WET

There really is no reason to post this other than the fact I thought Sportscrack could use some T n A on this Halloween Day. Franco as some of you may remember was the javelin thrower who captured our hearts or loins as I sometimes call it at the Summer Olympics. You know since it is Halloween I figured as I got older that the holiday would get worse as I could no longer dress up and go trick or treating without being arrested. But it seems every year now girls dress more slutty because it gives them an excuse to bring out their inner whore.

So in essense...

Adult Halloween > Childhood Halloween

I can drink to that...




Video HT: FanIQ via Hot Clicks

NCAA Week 10 Football pick 'em

Last week, I didn't do too bad, but I'd like to do a little better. There aren't as many exciting games this week, but there are a few. I can't wait for the Georgia/Florida Battle down at the World's Largest COCKtail party. I went down there once in college, I think! It was a blast, and I had whiplash after looking at so many fine women pass by. You know, I was going to do 10 picks this week, but seriously, there are a lot of boring match ups this week, so I picked 6 games.

Andrew Cheese-Whistle Merriam's picks-

WVU @ UConn: Do not sleep on the Huskies. This is a different team (literally) than the one who played UNC and Rutgers. They have a redshirt freshman QB who made his first start ever against Cinci on Saturday and threw for 196 yards with no picks. They also have the leading rusher in the country (school record 1,324 yds in eight games) in Donald Brown, a DB who ran back two picks of 28 and 40 yards, another one who ran back a punt, and a kicker who booted a 47 yard field goal into 20mph wind. WVU is good, but so is UConn, and the game is in West Hartford. Edge: UConn.

FL @ UGA (neutral stadium): To me the key to this game is UGA's defense. I know we can score on these guys but the key will be not letting them answer like we let LSU do last week.

FSU @ GT: I think Georgia Tech is overrated and will not strike back after last week's loss.

Oregon @ Cal: The ducks wax these guys, but who gives a shit about this game?

Texas@ Texas Tech: This will be a shootout, but i think the horns will take them. They are on fire right now.

Arkansas State @ Alabama: The tide will roll hard.


Matt Fairchild's picks:

West Virginia at UCONN: I really hate you Cheesewhistle for putting this shitbag of a game on the pick em list. Hands for people who really care for this matchup...oh, just you and that toothless Mountaineer whore. I'm going opposite pick just because you put it on here.

Gaytors vs. Dawgs: I've never been to a COCKtail party because I don't particularly like the taste of cock but I'm sure all the jorts and floppy hair douchebag frat boys sounds like a great time. These teams are pretty much even on paper. Both offenses are on fire and both coaches really don't like each other. Urban is the devil and Richt is a saint. So instead I'm going with the hot girl ratio. UGA girls in a landslide.

FSU at Georgia Tech: FSU has got me coming around so you know what that means? They will fucking choke big time tomorrow. Expect the Ramblin Nerds to be all pumped up and ready to show the ACC they deserve their bull shit crown full of empty promises and candy dreams.

Oregon at Cal: I have seen very little of either team this year and I don't see why that should change this Saturday. I will go with Cal since the Obama loving tree huggers will be too much for the Nikes.

Texas at Texas Tech: I've picked twice against the Longhorns and I have learned my lesson thanks to two empty pockets. Never pick against a steer or a queer. Longhorns win big.

Arkansas State at Alabama: I would love to shit in my pants from excitement if somehow Bama lost this game but it ain't going to happen. Why in the hell did you pick this game too? You must be sick.

I'm going to add one of my own here since it is the game I care the most about. Notre Dame will roll over the Stache in Rock's House tomorrow afternoon. Weis is going to "open up the freaking playbook" and let all of his young weapons including Golden, Floyd, Allen, Jimmy, and Rudolph do their thing. This will be a statement game for all the haters out there.
ND 42 Pitt 21.

OBAMA LOSES ELECTION

Seriously, who wants to wait in line for 2 hours to vote? I got better things to do like watch pornhub.com and eat Cheetos while drinking Natural Light. Stop blaming me people. I'm just a sports blogger.

PHILLIES FANS STILL CELEBRATING WITH FLYING BOTTLES

Nothing says celebration till you take a bottle to the head while hanging for dear life on a traffic light pole on Broad Street.

Video HT: Deadspin

CONGRATS GO OUT TO THE 2008 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES...PHINALLY!

The Philadelphia Phillies closed out the Tampa Bay Rays tonight to win the World Series in 5 games. It's only the second World Series Championship for the Phillies in their 126 year history so tonight will be a wild and riot filled night in the streets of Philly.

To commemorate the first championship for the city of Philadelphia since 1983 we decided to make a shirt that we think Philly fans can appreciate and wear with great pride. On the front it says "Phucking Phantastic 2008 World Champs" and on the back it takes a razor to the Rayshawk with a "Phuck the Rays" statement.

Here is some fan footage of Ryan Howard carrying the 2008 World Series Pennant...


As always these shirts are at the ridiculously low price of $17 and are as guaranteed as a Brad Lidge save in the ninth to create some laughter when you are booing Santa Claus this Christmas.

Shirt available here

BROAD STREET IS GOING TO BE PHUCKING CRAZY TONIGHT...

TOP 10 CFB SPORTSCRACK POLL

Image courtesy of BurntOrangeNation

1. Texas Longhorns-The Longhorns keep looking impressive after a hard fought victory last week against Oklahoma State in Austin. Colt McCoy survived a couple of costly turnovers late in the game but still had an excellent overall game completing 38 of 45 passes. The schedule doesn't get any easier as they travel to Lubbock this week to face an undefeated and hungry Texas Tech program. If they win this week they will win the Big 12 South division.

2. Penn State Nittany Lions-It wasn't pretty but you got to hand it to Penn State for pulling off a hard fought win in Columbus against Ohio State. They get the week off to prepare for a road trip to Iowa which should be another tough test for the Nittany Lions.

3. Alabama Crimson Tide-I thought the Vols would give them more of a challenge then they did but I was wrong. They essentially have an off week this Saturday against Arkansas State before traveling to LSU. The Tide should win out the regular season with LSU and Auburn down this year and if they can get by Georgia or Florida in the SEC Championship they will be playing for their first National Championship since 1992.

4. Oklahoma State Cowboys-The Cowboys lost and probably deserve to drop some in my rankings but I can't see how or why I should drop them below Oklahoma. This Okie State team is playing great ball right now and were just a couple of breaks away from beating Texas in Austin.

5. Texas Tech Red Raiders-They destroyed Kansas in Lawrence and now get #1 Texas in Lubbock this week. If they win they could and should get some votes for the top spot. Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree have a chance to make themselves legends with a memorable performance against the Longhorns. It should be a high scoring game that any true college football fan shouldn't miss.

6. Oklahoma Sooners-The Sooners continue to compile points(they haven't scored less than 35 in any game) on offense but their defense is pathetic at times. Their defense has given up over 30 points in each of their last 3 games and despite QB Sam Bradford putting up ridiculous numbers they need to step it up if they are going to have a shot at a BCS game.

7. Georgia Bulldogs-The Bulldogs trio of Matthew Stafford, Knowshon Moreno, and AJ Green looks like the best in the country right now. The Bulldogs showed up and played their hearts out in Baton Rouge and walked away with a much deserved victory. If they can beat Florida this week in Jacksonville they have a legitimate shot of winning the SEC Title and maybe even reaching the BCS Championship.

8. Florida Gators-The Gators absolutely fucking destroyed the Kentucky Wildcats last week behind dominating performances from Tim Tebow and Jeff Demps. Demps is now averaging over 11 yards a carry and the elusive freshman looks like the type of back Urban Meyer has wanted for his offense for so long. Whoever wins the Cocktail Party this weekend keeps their SEC and BCS Title hopes alive.

9. Utah Utes-The Utes were off last week and get to travel to New Mexico before their huge Thursday night showdown against TCU next week.

10. USC Trojans-Their defense looked sick against Arizona. Too much speed for the Wildcats to handle and the Trojans survived a close game by winning 17-10. They should be able to pad their stats this weekend with the Huskies coming to town. Anything less than a 3 touchdown win would be embarrassing for the Trojans since the Huskies might be the worst team in D1 football right now.

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM

Sometimes the breaks in life just don't go your way but don't tell that Houston wide receiver Patrick Edwards. Fast forward to the 40 second mark and be prepared for a gruesome injury that should have been avoided if the fucking band would have just moved their shit...

Having experienced the same injury my heart goes out to the guy. I can still feel the cold rush flow down my body every time the temperature goes below 60 because of the 2 titanium plates and 21 screws in my lower left leg from snapping my tibia, fibula, and ankle on the last play of...get this...a flag football game. It should have never happened much like Edward's injury last night. If only the band would have moved their equipment then Edwards would still be walking right now. And only if I didn't drink a fifth of Jack Daniels before spitting on that girl who would not give me her number as she kept running away I would still be walking normal today.

Video HT: The Big Lead

NEW SHIRT: WE LOVE OUR JOHNSON

WE LOVE OUR JOHNSON is a shirt dedicated to new Georgia Tech football coach Paul Johnson. He has brought back a winning tradition to the Yellow Jackets by installing the perfect triple option which has gotten the Yellow Jackets off to a fast start. The shirt is yellow haze with black distressed lettering to give it a vintage feel and look. Inside the football on the front are the initials "THWG" which is a salute to their superior for the past decade.

You can order it here for the low price of $17.

KEVIN CRAFT DOESN'T THINK TOO HIGHLY OF SLICK RICK'S PLAYCALLING

The name is Meoff, first name Jack.

Video HT: Adam

DANYELLE SARGENT'S INTERVIEW WITH MIKE SINGLETARY

Just to give you some background information and I actually feel really bad for Danyelle Sargent after seeing this interview. I went to high school with Danyelle so it's always good to see somebody from Milton High School in Alpharetta, GA make it out and do great things in their profession unlike myself. Obviously this interview with new 49ers head coach Mike Singletary is not one of them...

Hey, we all fuck up on our job one way or another. It's just that some of us don't do it on national television. Referring to Bill Walsh who passed away in 2007 much less wasn't even a mentor to Singletary is a huge blunder on her part and doesn't help the manifestation that a Georgia education is one of the worst in the nation.

Danyelle will eventually climb out from under that huge rock she's been under since the interview caught fire on Sunday and run for the Republican Vice President ticket under Sarah Palin in 2012. It just makes too much sense.

Sorry, I need to stop the political jokes, I know. We need to get this election over with so we can all move on. One more week till freedom.

Video HT: TheBigLead

TY WILLINGHAM FIRED

The official language is he will quit at the end of the season but we all know Ty Willingham, molder of destroying collegiate football programs, was going to be fired as soon as this week if he didn't accept a resignation. Look, the Washington Huskies wanted to avoid any sort of outlandish racism claim that some members of the media would print or say on air because Willingham didn't get his 5 years bullshit. I'm sure Ty will get a great severance package just like any other shitty CEO who comes in and destroys a company. Losingham came in to Washington and destroyed football. I'm completely serious.

Watching Notre Dame annihilate Washington Saturday night was like watching a high school team trying to play Division 1 football. The Huskies are a fucking mess and the blame is 100% on Ty's shoulders. He can't be a successful head coach because he can't admit his short comings. He doesn't know how to be a successful recruiter because he cares more about perfecting his golf swing then traveling across the nation and perfecting a recruiting pitch to athletes and their parents. He is lazy when it comes to being a head football coach but yet he will get paid millions of dollars for being totally incompetent and unqualified. Only in America can one guy with so little become so rich at doing something as poorly as Willingham.

With that being said I think he would be a perfect coach for USC if Pete Carroll decides to go to San Francisco and take the 49ers job. After all he did take Stanford to a Rose Bowl so he must be a great coach....

URBAN MEYER PUTS GAG ORDER ON GATORS

As a college football fan and as a Georgia resident I loved seeing last year's celebration penalty in the World's Largest Cocktail Party. A lot of what makes college football so much better than the NFL in my opinion is that fans get into it more and the game has a lot of emotion in it which can cause upsets and eventually riots. Georgia for too long had played with their tails tucked in between their legs against the Gators ever since Spurrier was on the sidelines but last year they wagged them and let loose and it carried over into a complete ass kicking right between the greasy fingers of Urban Cryer.

Now Meyer has put on a gag order for his Florida players to not even mention last year's celebration penalty which he still has not gotten over. Well I say Fuck him because I'm going to mention it every single day this week till Georgia beats the shit out of Florida again on Saturday. Some of you may think I hate Florida but I really don't. I think they have some really good fans and a great alumni base and in fact I'm good friends with some of them. But I really despise Urban Liar. Just seeing his face makes my skin boil. As much respect as I have for Mark Richt who I believe is a deep down great person who any program would be extremely lucky to have on the other hand I think Urban is a piece of shit.

So this week I am going to be the biggest fan of Matthew Stafford, Knowshon Moreno, Rennie Curran, and all the other Dawgs who wear the red and black this week in hope that they crush and destroy the Urban Myth and his Gaytors. I want to see Florida again take a good old fashioned ass whipping by Mark Richt and his troops on Saturday because it's what Urban deserves. Gag on that douchebag Meyer.

Beat Florida shirt available here for the great price of $17

TERRY TATE: READING IS FUNDAMENTAL SARAH PALIN

I have no fucking clue who Terry Tate and really don't have the energy to look him but there is no doubt the big boy can hit. Poor Sarah Palin never saw it coming. Ya betcha she didn't!

But I betcha she knows the Russians are coming. She can practically see them out of her front window...


Video HT: BarstoolSports

WHAT IN THE BOOBS HAPPENED TO THE PHILLIES LAST NIGHT?

HomeRunDerby.com has some great pics of a Chase Utley jersey body sprayed on some girl's funbags. I don't care who you are but as long as you have some cock and balls you now have a great appreciation for Chase Utley and his fans. Okay, enough of the cock and balls and boobies talk, what in the hell happened to the Phillies last night? They are now 1 for 28 with runners in scoring position so far in the first two games. That is Atlanta Braves postseason type hitting. If the Phightin Phils want to win the whole thing they are going to need guys like Jimmy Rollins, Pat Burrell, and Ryan Howard to get some clutch hits.

I didn't mention Utters, I mean Utley, because honestly right now his name gets me all hot and bothered. No glove no love..excellent...


You can now celebrate the 2008 World Series Champions Philadelphia Phillies with this Phucking Phantastic shirt from Sportscrack...

KOBE, PHELPS, A-ROD, AND TONY HAWK IN GUITAR HERO COMMERCIAL

I think A-Rod pulls off the pink shirt considering he gets fucked by Madonna and Kobe looks and acts like a diva but Michael Phelps and Tony Hawk just look out of place. Actually Phelps always looks uncomfortable outside of the swimming pool. His flippers and porpoise hole need constant water I guess.

You know I've only played Guitar Hero a couple of times at a friend's house. I thought it was kind of a gay game but maybe it was just because I was so bad at it. Now that I see A-Rod and Kobe hamming it up in their underwear and pink shirts I can unequivocally announce that Guitar Hero is a little light in the loafers. But yeah I suck balls at it.

Video HT: TheBigLead

NO NEED FOR YOUR PLEXIGLASS

Anybody who tells you the NHL is boring has either not gone to an actual game in person or ever seen a hipcheck like the one Milan Lucic of the Boston Bruins performed on Mike Van Ryn of the Toronto Maple Leafs last night in front of a packed Boston crowd. Or they could be blind rednecks who swears Barack Obama is a terrorist devil. In other words 80% of the people who were born below the Mason-Dixon line.

The coolest or most barbaric part of the glass breaking hipcheck is the two fans in the box seats who suffered cuts from the sharp shards of glass...
Two fans - a man and woman sitting near the play - were covered in glass shards. The woman appeared to suffer a deep cut to her nose, which gushed blood over her face, clothes and belongings.

The injured man appeared to have cuts to his forehead. Both were conscious and alert when they were treated by Cataldo Ambulance crews, but were then taken by Boston EMS to a local hospital.

How cool is that? One minute you are just some normal loudmouth Chowderhead and then the next minute BAM, your face looks like Freddy Krueger...


Here is another great hit from earlier in the game from the Bruins Denis Wideman...


Video HT: FanIQ and Barstoolsports

THE TY "NO WE WOULD RATHER WIN" WILLINGHAM BOWL

As a Notre Dame fan I can't wait till Saturday night to see the Fighting Irish storm the field at Husky Stadium to take on the winless Washington Huskies. As the "molder of young men" who was once ND's coach and now stares with his stupid fucking blank purple and gold expression on the UDUB sidelines I must admit I can't help but become giddy at the prospect of destroying Ty Willingham and forcing his termination. So many people in the media cried wolf when he was fired from Notre Dame including Mark May, John Saunders, and some douchebag writer at CBSSportsline who's name I have forgotten. They cried racism when anybody with a functional frontal lobe knew it had nothing to do with race and everything to do with the lack of wins both on the field and in the recruiting trail.

A blowout win for the Irish is inevitable and it will force those pundits in the media to admit they were wrong. They won't admit it on air or in print but they will do it within themselves and realize at 0-7 with a best case scenario of winning 1 game all season that Willingham has made Washington irrelevant. In other words exactly where he was taking Notre Dame with his lack of recruiting and his inability to make halftime adjustments or make coaching changes within his own staff. He appears to be doing his usual stand up job of not recruiting by landing 4 guys, none of them ranked above 3 stars, with a little more than 3 months till signing day. I'm sure his golf swing is immaculate though.

I could go on and make fun of Losingham all day but I figured why should I do it when his current players can do it for me...