SportsCrack Blog

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

SHE GOT CHILLS WHEN THE COLORED ONE SPOKE

I give you this glorious video of further proof that Lindsay Lohan is a dumb Hollywood slut. Sorry, working actress as they preferred to be called. She proves to the world her ability to sound as dumb as she looks while talking to some attractive girl named Maria Menopausal...


Lindsay is such an inspiration for all the young girls out there who want to do coke, blow guys, then decide they would rather do chicks for a while and talk about how inspired she was when the "colored" one was voted as our President.



Video HT: WWTDD

BALTIMORE REPRESENTING THE ROAD JERSEYS


The Baltimore Orioles today reveiled their new road jerseys with the actual "Baltimore" script on the front. This is significant because they haven't had "Baltimore" on the front of their jerseys since the early 1970's. They dumped "Baltimore" in favor of "Orioles" when the Washington Senators moved so they could represent more of the region of Maryland and Virginia/DC. But now that the Washington Nationals exist(loose term for they suck) we now get to see a star player like Nick Markakis wear the new Baltimore jersey.

I like it and I think I will buy one this weekend when I visit for the Notre Dame/Navy debacle at Raven's Stadium. Hopefully the Orioles will open up their checkbooks this offseason and sign some free agents starting tomorrow. The big catch of course would be lifelong Orioles fan and Severna Park native Mark Teixeria. He would look great in an O's jersey batting between Markakis and future star Matt Wieters. Just throwing that out there for owner Peter Angelos. Get it done in other words.

And if you noticed in the picture above there is no Gold Glove next to Markakis. It's a crying shame because Nick led all outfielders in assists and makes Gold Glove plays consistently in right field but the voters love to give the award to just center fielders typically. These are the same jackoffs who didn't award Cal Ripken a Gold Glove the year he only committed 3 fucking errors the whole season at shortstop, a Major League record. Instead they awarded it to that tool Ozzie Guillen. I still despise Guillen for it.

TALK ABOUT A LATE HIT


This ridiculously late hit on the quarterback comes courtesy of Houston's defensive end Phillip Hunt this past Saturday against Tulane. Obviously the hit was intentional in every way although Hunt claims he never heard the whistle. Hunt can use the O.J. defense all he wants but we all know he hit Tulane's QB Joe Kemp long after everybody stopped playing. Not only was the hit malicious but it broke Kemp's collarbone and he now needs a plate inserted to stabilize the two fractures.

Of course somehow the Conference USA officiating crew didn't eject Hunt for the late hit and all he got was a 15 personal foul penalty. And now Conference USA officials are indicating no further discipline needs to be brought against Hunt for the malicious hit. When did college football turn into gladiators? Hopefully shit like this doesn't start popping up everywhere now when defensive players know they can get away with late hits and claim they didn't hear the whistle blown. The NCAA needs to insert a Phillip Hunt rule which would prevent QB's and other players from getting their head knocked off for late hits.

Video HT: FanIQ

WHERE IS NOTRE DAME HEADED?

Via TiricoSuave.com comes this hilarious, and yes I will admit it despite being a Notre Dame homer myself, video of Charlie Weis addressing where his team is headed...


And just to be clear with myself and the few drunk readers out there who actually pay attention to this blog...I think any blog that pays tribute to Mike Tirico is either a
A)closet pedophile
B)open pedophile or
C)prefers bestiality to actual women.

More than likely all of the above.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFT-BRADY QUINN AUTOGRAPHED NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL



I just got a couple of these autographed Brady Quinn Notre Dame Wilson Balls. These are the authentic official balls that they use on Gamedays under the watchful eye of Touchdown Jesus. I am selling them for the ridiculously low price of $200. Remember, these balls alone retail for as much as $199 without any signatures on it and now you can get it with Brady Quinn's autograph on it. With Brady's signature on it they sell for as much as $388.

You will not find a lower price for an authentic autographed Brady Quinn Wilson AFCA 1001 NCAA college game ball. It comes with a certificate of authenticity from CG Authentics.

These make a great gift for any Notre Dame or Cleveland Browns fan for Christmas.

Hurry quickly though because I only have a couple and they will sell fast.

EBAY AUCTIONS ENDING SOON, SHIRTS AT $1

http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/mojoerizen91f1

Click on the link above to get some great deals on Sportscrack Tees starting at under a $1. We got Crank Me Up shirts, Phucking Phantastic 2008 World Champs shirts, Knowshon for Heismon, Chase for Heismon, FUSC, Brady Lady, Brady for Heismon, and many more all starting at just under a $1.

Hurry though because the sale ends soon.

Again the link is at....
http://shop.ebay.com/merchant/mojoerizen91f1

MY HEISMAN TROPHY CANDIDATES TOP 5


We are only a month away from awarding the 74th Heisman Trophy to the "most outstanding college football player" which is usually loose terms for the best player(offensive) with the most hype on the best team at the end of the season. Colt McCoy looked to be the runaway winner a few weeks ago until they got beaten by Texas Tech in Lubbock behind masterful performances from both Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree. Since then the order has been shaken up and knocked around quicker than a Larry Johnson whore target in a bar. So with that being said here is my top 5 candidates going into this weekend's games and what they need to do in order to secure a trip at the very least to New York City for the Heisman banquet dinner.

1. Graham Harrell-Harrell has thrown for 13 touchdowns and 0 interceptions while completing almost 80% of his passes the last three weeks in wins over Kansas, Texas, and Oklahoma State. He has the Red Raiders on the brink of being #1 in two weeks if they can beat Oklahoma in Norman. Some can argue he is a product of Mike Leach's system in Lubbock and I would agree with it to a point but you can't argue his ability to come up huge in big games and big moments this year. If he beats Oklahoma and keeps putting up his typical numbers then he will win the award in my opinion. He is currently on pace to throw for 43 TD's and only 6 INT's while completing over 71% of his passes.

2. Michael Crabtree-Harrell might be my #1 Heisman contender right now but I think Crabtree is the best player on his team. I don't have a doubt in my mind that Crabs is the best wide receiver in the country as he was last year and he continues to come up big for the Red Raiders. Harrell grabs the spotlight because he is the quarterback but Crabtree will be the better pro by far and might be the best college receiver since Larry Fitzgerald(whom I thought should have won the Heisman over Jason White). Crabtree is on pace to match last year's touchdown record of 22 TD catches but his receiving yardage will be cut by more than 25% because of defenses double teaming him. He deserves a trip to New York City because he is the best wide receiver in the country.

3. Colt McCoy-The Real McCoy's numbers are staggering. He is completing 78% of his passes. He runs(7 rushing TD's)with the best of the college QB's including Tim Tebow. He is one play away(dropped INT by his safety) from being the clear cut #1 guy right now on what would have been the clear cut #1 team. But fate wasn't on his side or the Longhorns when Gideon let the game winner slip between his fingers. The good news for him and Texas are both could be back to #1 if a couple of things happen between now and his eventual trip to NYC. Texas Tech needs to lose to Oklahoma next Saturday and Alabama needs to lose to Florida in the SEC Championship and then Colt McCoy and Texas are back on top of the college football world.

4. Shonn Greene-Greene is the guy who receives the least attention because...well, he plays in Iowa. But after last week's performance against previously undefeated Penn State he deserves some recognition as the best back in the nation. Greene has run for over a 100 yards in each game this season along with scoring a touchdown in every game with the exception of the Michigan State contest (ran for 157). He is not a real flashy back like a Knowshon Moreno but he gets yards on an offense that features him and against a defense that keys into him every single game. This is a big IF but if only Iowa could have won the 4 games they lost(all by 5 points or less) then the Hawkeyes would be undefeated and everybody in the nation would be talking about Greene as the Heisman frontrunner. In order to secure a trip to NYC he needs to finish strong against Purdue and Minnesota along with leading the Hawkeyes to victories.

5. Sam Bradford-Plain and simple for Bradford to secure a trip to NYC for the Heisman ceremony: BEAT TEXAS TECH. Bradford is putting up Jason White type numbers this year and is on pace to throw for 46 TD's with only 7 INT's. But if he doesn't beat Texas Tech in Norman he will go down as only the third best quarterback in the Big 12 South division. If he beats Texas Tech and Oklahoma State the next two games then the Sooners could slide into the Big 12 Championship game over Texas and right away it would vault him up to the top into Heisman voter's minds.

Just missed the cut: Tim Tebow, Chase Daniel, Knowshon Moreno, Javon Ringer, Kendall Hunter, Jeremy Maclin


Feel free to put down the beer bong and/or Sebastian Janikowski roofie and give me your opinions on the Heisman candidates and who you think should win or whom I should consider if I left somebody off the list.

NEW SHAMPOO

It's good to see they have come out with a shampoo specifically for guys like me who are short and curly. Don't be surprised if your favorite team or athlete is now using this in their shower stalls...

Monday, November 10, 2008

2008 NOTRE DAME: RETURN TO MEDIOCRITY


In the wake of the humiliating 17-0 defeat at the hands of Boston College on Saturday night lies a Notre Dame football program with so much promise but little performance. Despite Notre Dame playing an incredibly weak schedule and returning over 80% of their starters from a disastrous 2007 campaign the Fighting Irish now sit at 5-4 with a best case scenario of finishing 7-5. They are not going to beat USC again and they have a good chance of losing to Navy this week...again. As much as it pains me to write that last sentence it's the truth. Notre Dame football has become average at best.

Charlie Weis is now 1-15 in his last 16 games against teams with winning records. Supporters of Charlie, whom I admit was one of the blue and gold blinders leading the bandwagon, wanted to say two of the reasons they lose or underperform on Saturdays are because of inexperience and youth. These are great excuses when they were facts last season but this year is different. The Fighting Irish have plenty of players with tons of gameday experience now so it's no longer a valid argument. Players like Jimmy Clausen, Armando Allen, Robert Hughes, James Aldridge, Duval Kamara, Golden Tate, and the whole offensive line got tons of actual playing time the past two seasons to qualify as seasoned veterans. And pretty much every defensive starter played last season significant minutes so why do they lose to teams like Boston College, North Carolina, Pitt, and Michigan State when one can make the argument they are less talented and sit in the same boat with maybe more inexperienced players playing?

Watching this team slowly go down the shitter has been painful needless to say. I see a ton of talent in players like Michael Floyd, Golden Tate, Kyle Rudolph, Jimmy Clausen, David Bruton, Kyle McCarthy, Brian Smith, Raeshon McNeil, and numerous others but I continue to see a team that totally shits the bed on Saturdays. There are no more excuses to struggle to squeeze out a close home win over a horrible San Diego State team. There are no more excuses to blow leads against Stanford, North Carolina, and Pitt which cost you victories in two of those games. Excuses are like assholes and everyone has one including Charlie's enormous one.

Before the Boston College game I stated that this particular game would be the defining moment in Charlie Weis career at Notre Dame. Win and they have a good shot of going 8-4 into a decent bowl game(which hasn't been won in 15 years) and the recruiting will continue to go beyond my wildest expectations into a 2009 season with a lot of promise. Lose and they will continue to have little confidence in themselves to beat teams with winning records and the magical dream seasons of 2009 and 2010 I predicted would be just that...a dream. And lo and behond what unfolded on Saturday night in Chestnut Hill was an embarrassing and disgusting performance. They got shutout by a team that was allowing nearly 30 points per game in their previous 4 games. They didn't fight. They had defeat in their eyes as soon as Charlie limped out on the field. Charlie promised a "NASTY" team but what he has brought is too many nasty performances on the field. His most significant and memorable game at Notre Dame was a fucking lost to USC in 2005. They lost and yet it gave most Notre Dame fans hope they would compete with a big time program and rival like USC in the future years. They haven't come close.

So where do we go from here? If Notre Dame loses on Saturday to the Naval Academy they HAVE TO FIRE Charlie Weis at the end of the season. You can not lose consecutive games to Navy especially after last season when Charlie personally blew the game at home by not attempting the game winning field goal. Navy is undersized and undermanned in talent but you know they will fight to the end which can not be said about this 2008 Notre Dame squad. I hate having to bring in a new coach because in most times it is starting a rebuilding process that could take years. But this isn't the case for Notre Dame. Who ever coaches in 2009 and beyond will have a program loaded with 5 and 4 star players that Charlie Weis and his staff recruited. The coaching staff has done an excellent job of recruiting and for this they should be granted a pat on the back. But the performances, or lack thereof on Saturdays in the Fall by the football team, deserve a swift kick in the ass. There is no fire in this team because the coaching staff isn't holding players accountable for their actions.

Granted this season isn't nearly as painful as 2007 was but it's starting to approach that level for me. If Charlie Weis and his staff don't finish the season with wins over Navy and Syracuse and at least a respectable showing against USC then I think Charlie owes it to himself and all Notre Dame alumni and fans by walking away. If he really loves Notre Dame as much as I think he does he will do the right thing and hand the keys to somebody who can get the most out of this team. He has stated he will take over play calling duties this week over offensive coordinator Mike Haywood to help the offense score more points this week against Navy. Which means as long as they score then he is a genius right? Okay, sarcasm aside It's pretty simple, you go five wide and let Michael Floyd and Golden Tate run past Navy defenders while running a two minute offense like Texas Tech does because Jimmy Clausen is most comfortable in it. But the skeptic in me thinks we will come out with two deep in the backfield and try to pound the ball with our weak running game.

As my buddy Jeff always says, "Beer is great!" whenever I text him my frustrations about the Notre Dame program. It might be the perfect tonic in Baltimore on Saturday for me if the Irish play like they did in Chestnut Hill.

God have mercy on Notre Dame and especially my weak liver and sanity. Go Irish! Beat Navy!

Friday, November 07, 2008

SHAQ DOWN THE THUNDER

Notre Dame landed one of the nation's best high school receivers today when 4 star prospect Shaquelle Evans out of California picked Notre Dame over USC. Shaq Evans is an explosive receiver who will join the already talented Notre Dame receiver's core of Golden Tate and Michael Floyd next year and should get immediate playing time. Especially if he plays the college game as well as he dominates the high school game...

Now if only Notre Dame could get some defensive linemen and linebackers they might actually have a front 7 who puts some pressure on the quarterback. With three months left till signing day look for Charlie Weis and the staff to put a full effort into landing defensive stars like Chris Bonds, Mante Te'O and Jelani Jenkins. The offensive class is now completely stacked with Evans on board but they need the defensive studs to make the whole class elite from top to bottom.


Video HT: UHND

WITH BECKS OVERSEAS NOW, VICTORIA WILL NEED YOUR ATTENTION


Don Chavez has the spanktacular pictures of Victoria Beckham showing off her store boughts for some advertisement that is not nearly as annoying as Toyota's current one. It actually kind of perks me up. I could use a warm glass of saline milk right now.

ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF A CLEAN BALLPLAYER


Look at that fucking grin on Jayson Werth. He is high as a kite brotha. My buddy Tobin sent me the picture of Werth among many others of last week's Phillies celebration parade and I couldn't help but laugh at the one above. I've never heard Werth speak a word but I would imagine it would sound a lot like this...


Just a reminder people that I got a brand new batch of fresh cooked "Phucking Phantastic 2008 World Champs" shirts in for you to consume and devour...

THOSE AT&T COMMERCIALS ARE GETTING CRYPTIC


I actually could deal with a commercial like this on television. It's those annoying Toyota commercials lately that have me going absolutely crazy. You know the ones with the O% down BS and the want to rip your ear drums out tune they play to it. And they play it all the time during football games. I've never owned a Toyota (Dodge man myself) and I can honestly say I never will even think about buying one after seeing those commercials played during every single break in the action. Now if you want to throw some eye candy in there Toyota, say a Jessica Biel or a Heidi Klum, then we can start talking. But until you do your as dead as the pitchman for AT&T. Capiche?

This Week's College Football Pick 'em

Okay folks, I know! I really screwed up my picks last week. Hell, Matt and I both did. I really thought Georgia would show up in Jacksonville, but I guess they didn't get the memo. I also put too much faith in Texas, and even though I picked them to win, it was great to see Texas Tech come out on top. Did you guys see the new shirts?
TEXAS TECH
Oh, I'm also sorry I even tried to throw in a UConn game to the mix. I guess they are overrated, and I got a little excited.
Let's crack open a cold one and forget last week. Cheers to another exciting Saturday!

Cheese Whistle's 11 Picks:

#1 Alabama @ #16 LSU: Although LSU has rolled over the Tide the past 5 match-ups, expect Alabama to win the "Saban Bowl."

#6 Oklahoma @ Texas A&M: My gut is going with Oklahoma tearing up all that agriculture.

Baylor @ #4 Texas: The Longhorns will be looking to take out their frustration on poor Baylor this weekend.

#11 Ohio State @ #24 Northwestern: I think this game will be a battle to the end. I picture purple fans to bum-rush the field at the end of this one.

#9 Oklahoma State @ #2 Texas Tech: This game is going to be awesome! I had a hard time choosing sides on this one, but Texas Tech is looking too good right now.

#5 Florida @ Vandy: In an SEC battle, I believe Florida will continue to steam roll their opponents.

#21 California @ #7 USC: I really wanted to pick California on this on, but with two losses as compared to USC's one loss, I had to go with the Condoms.

#13 Georgia @ Kentucky: Georgia is going to come out pissed off after last week's debacle. Ugh. I can't get that nightmare out of my head.

#20 Georgia Tech @ #19 North Carolina: This is going to be another great Saturday game. Georgia Tech will just squeak by NC.

Utah State @ #10 Boise State: The Broncos are 8-0 this year, and I assume they will smash Utah State. I was driving through Boise early this Summer, but a big sand storm blanketed the sky, so I couldn't see any mountains or the town. I'm still bummed about that.

On a side note, I'm putting my money on the Undefeated Fighting Dave Letterman's this week. Go Ball State!


Matt Fairchild's picks:

#1 Alabama @ #16 LSU: As much I want to see LSU pull the upset here I think Bama will be too tough especially with mac truck Cody back to clog up the middle.

#6 Oklahoma @ Texas A&M: Faggies don't have a prayer. Sam Bradford will put up some Heisman like numbers in this game and score some serious Sooner poon like this...

Image courtesy of MacG's trip to Norman

Baylor @ #4 Texas: Texas still has a shot at the National Championship and will come out and show Baylor who the Real McCoy is.

#11 Ohio State @ #24 Northwestern: Northwestern and Ohio State can both suck my balls. God, I hate watching Big Ten football. It's like watching two fat people fuck. Nobody wins.

#9 Oklahoma State @ #2 Texas Tech: I'm going upset special right here. This game is going to be fucking awesome. I just think the Red Raiders are in for a let down game after the huge win over Texas last week.

#5 Florida @ Vandy: The Gaytors will have won this game as soon as the first whistle is blown. I got this sinking feeling we are going to see Urban in the BCS Championship.

#21 California @ #7 USC: I got to take FUSC on this one. Those fucking tree hugging hippies up in Berkeley could use some Trojans in my opinion.

#13 Georgia @ Kentucky: The Dawgs looked like garbage last week and will look to take their frustrations out on Kensucky.

#20 Georgia Tech @ #19 North Carolina: I will be rooting for the We love our Johnson's but I think the Tarholes will win by creating turnovers. Plus Tech's QB Nesbitt is more roughed up then a Pete Carroll hooker.

Utah State @ #10 Boise State: Nobody beats Boise State on their Smurf turf. And I mean nobody lays a hand on Smurfette except me.

And here is my Notre Dame pick of the week:
Listen, Notre Dame shit the bed last week against Pitt. They should have fucking killed the Stache but they got conservative and blew the game in the second half with an eventual loss in 4 OT's. This week they get to redeem themselves up in Chestnut Hill with Backup College the opponent. This will be the defining game of Charlie Weis' career at Notre Dame. They have too much talent to lose to BC. If they lose the season is a lost cause in my opinion. They should have beat the Tarholes and Shitzburgh and for sure should win this game. If they lose this game then Weis as a head coach is as good as dead to me like Davie and Willingham. No more youth excuses or lack of depth BS. They should be able to manhandle an average BC team with no Matt Ryan.
Notre Dame 33
Backup College 20

Thursday, November 06, 2008

REAL MAN BEER. REAL. MAN. MEN.

THE BRADY QUINN ERA FINALLY BEGINS


Cleveland Browns fans and Notre Dame fans for that matter will finally get their wish tonight as Brady Quinn will finally start his first NFL game against the Denver Broncos. The local Dublin, OH product has been a fan favorite ever since he was drafted in the first round in 2007 out of Notre Dame. Quinn has been the face of the franchise and some could even say the NFL with all his endorsements since being drafted even though he has only thrown 8 passes in his NFL career.

Derek Anderson, the incumbent starting quarterback Quinn is replacing, has been awful this year completing less than 50% of his passes and is currently ranked 31st among starting NFL QBs in passer rating while leading the Browns to a 3-5 record. To say he was due to be benched would be a huge understatement. Let's be honest here: Anderson is an average at best NFL quarterback whom the Browns management made a huge mistake last offseason giving him a 3 year contract worth up 24 million after he lead the Browns to 10 wins in a smoke and mirrors season.

But let's forget about Derek lick my balls and let's talk about Brady Quinn. He has been the future and now he is finally the present for a struggling Browns franchise looking to win for the first time in...well, forever. Quinn has the talent and the smarts to be a successful NFL Quarterback and holding a clipboard for another season and a half wasn't going to make him any better. Brady will now get the majority of the snaps on the first team offense during practice and will look to prove himself tonight against one of the worst pass defenses in the NFL.

In my mind Brady will be a success in the NFL because of the trials and tribulations he went through while in college. People tend to forget he helped lead Notre Dame to two BCS Bowl games despite playing behind an average and some would say bad offensive line which often got him killed. It's no coincidence that the Irish had one of their worst seasons in their storied history once Brady left. He was that great in college.

I also find it humorous the Browns are now finally giving Brady Quinn the starting job when his contract calls for escalators of up to $11 million if he gets 55% of the snaps in 2008. Granted if Brady starts the rest of the season and the Browns are successful he might get enough snaps but coach Romeo Crennel waited till week 10, which is halfway through the season, to give him the starting job when Derek Lick My Balls Anderson is completing less than 50% of his passes.

I for one will be Brady's #1 fan and cheerleader tonight. I was at his first college game at Notre Dame against Washington State when he was a true freshman and became a big fan ever since he took his first snap behind center. Charlie Weis has often said he has the "IT" factor you are looking for in quarterbacks much like a Tom Brady and/or Joe Montana. He is a leader and will help the Browns win games much like a Ben Roethlisberger has done for the Steelers.

The legend of Brady Quinn starts tonight...

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

TOP 10 CFB SPORTSCRACK POLL



1. Alabama Crimson Tide-Bama is your new #1 for this week after coasting to an easy win over Arkansas State and benifitting from the Longhorns loss. I'm not convinced this Bama team is a great team but right now they are the only undefeated SEC team and if they beat LSU in Baton Rouge this week they have a great shot of going into the SEC Title with no losses. I think LSU and the home crowd will be ready for Saban's "homecoming" and it should be a close game.

2. Texas Tech Red Raiders-They beat Texas. Granted they needed a touchdown with one second left on the clock to squeeze it out, they dominated the tempo of the game and it was not a fluke win. Graham Harrell had the poise and calm demeanor of a Tom Brady and Michael Crabtree proved to the nation why he is the best receiver in the country. They are going to need to bring their A game this week with a tough Oklahoma State program looking to stay in contention for a Big 12 Title game. I wouldn't be surprised if both #1 and #2 go down this weekend and totally fucks the BCS yet again.

3. Penn State Nittany Lions-They were off last week after a hard fought victory over Ohio State two weeks ago. They travel to Iowa to play a Hawkeyes team that has been snake bitten in four games this year, losing each by less than 6 points. On paper this shouldn't be a cake walk for Penn State and I expect a big game from Iowa RB Shonn Greene. If Penn State wins they could be the new #1.

4. Texas Longhorns-The Longhorns faced a Texas Tech team that was hitting on all cylinders in Lubbock and if their starting freshman safety Gideon doesn't let the ball slip into between his fingers then they are still the #1 team in the country. A loss is difficult to swallow but the Longhorns are still very much in the running to win the Big 12 South and could squeeze into the BCS Title game if they win out. They need to start by crushing Baylor this week and making a statement that they are still the best team in the Big 12.

5. Oklahoma State Cowboys-WR Dez Bryant is giving Michael Crabtree a run for his money on best receiver in the nation right now. His 4 touchdown catches against Iowa State puts him on pace for 20 this season which would lead the nation. The Cowboys travel to Lubbock(they will now have 3 games on the road against the top 3 teams in the nation at one point) and will be facing a Red Raiders team primed for a letdown. If the Cowboys win Saturday night then you have to give them serious consideration for a BCS Title game appearance.

6. Oklahoma Sooners-Absolutely destroyed Nebraska and now travel to College Station to presumably do the same to Texas A&M. They get Texas Tech in two weeks..holy shit, the Big 12 South is absolutely loaded this year. If any team comes out of the Big 12 with a conference title and only one loss then they should be playing in the BCS Title game. No questions asked.

7. Florida Gators-The Gators beat the living shit out of UGA in Jacksonville and are now in the driver's seat to win the SEC East. They need to win out and hope they beat an undefeated Alabama team in the SEC Championship to have a shot at the BCS Title game. Right now the Gators might be the best team in the country with the way they are dominating but they still need a lot of help to move up in my ranking because of the home loss to an unranked Ole Miss team.

8. Utah Utes-Still undefeated despite barely getting by a bad New Mexico team 13-10. One could make the argument they were caught looking ahead to tomorrow's huge game against TCU which will determine which of those two teams reaches a BCS Bowl game. If Utah can beat TCU at home then in the perfect storm they could somehow be in the top 5 next week.

9. USC Trojans-People tend to forget that USC is not a cinch to win the PAC-10 this year. They should win out starting this week against an overrated Cal team but if Oregon State wins their last two games then they win the conference due to the tiebreaker win over USC earlier in the season. In other words best case scenario is USC goes to the Rose Bowl and has no chance of going to the BCS Title game.

10. TCU Horned Frogs-They have the best run defense in the country. They gave up 25 yards rushing to Oklahoma a few weeks ago but their 4 turnovers killed them and if they had cut half of those then they could be undefeated right now. They travel to #8 Utah tomorrow and get the chance to prove why they might be the best one loss team in the country.

NO MORE POLITICS...I GIVE YOU HEIDI KLUM


This commercial of Guitar Hero makes me actually want to buy one if I still played video games today. Supermodels in lingerie have that effect much more than Kobe and A-Rod dancing around in their underwear. Those advertising gurus for Guitar Hero are genuises.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Big Ben Hurts his Vagina


The Steelers had a big win last night in Washington, but it was not without a loss. Big Ben Roethlisberger was injured on a quarterback sneak close to the end of the second quarter of Pittsburgh's 23-6 victory against those crazy Indians. But, "my friends," this was not the big story. It appears after an MRI this morning that Roethlisberger not only aggravated his shoulder, he also tore a few muscles in his vagina. Teammates aren't too sure when the freak accident actually took place, but they are highly suspicious that the Redskins' cheerleaders played a small role in the incident.

Last week Big Ben's little Ben started to get scared. He was overheard stating...

“I’m not a big fan of playing there because it is loud, they’re really good at home and they try to make their cheerleaders stretch in our tunnel before we come out of the locker room. That’s just not good.”

WHAT!!?? Are you kidding me? Cheerleaders are going to distract you to the point where you are scared to play in D.C.? If he was a real man he would approach one of the hot-ass cheerleaders stretching in front of him, grab her ass, and say, "Hey there little foxy lady, how about I throw a touchdown pass for you tonight, then I'll go deep in your endzone after the game." Turn that distraction into a positive thing. Make it an inspiration. Show off for her!

Seriously, you're in the NFL and you can't handle some hottie showing off her assets for you? You're in the NFL. Go out and bang these hot cheerleaders. Live for suckers like me, stuck at home married, and jerking off every day to stay happy.

CHRIS BERMAN INTERVIEW WITH BARACK OBAMA

Or as my Georgian right wing Christian friends would say, Berman interviewing a "Socialist Muslim terrorist who just happens to have the middle name of Hussein, I mean come on, he is the enemy."

This is for you guys. Get over it. You will get to elect the MILF in 2012.


Video HT: Deadspin

Okay, so that isn't the real interview but if you did actually watch the real one and you are a college football junkie like myself how could you not get a little chub when Obama mentioned 8 team playoff as the one thing he would change in sports? I practically wet myself in delight when he mentioned it. Eight teams is perfect as long as USC is not involved. Can we make that a stipulation. Only then will you have my vote.