I always hated going to dance clubs during my single days. It was more or less getting dragged to some bullshit club called Vision or some other stupid dance club down in Midtown Atlanta. You always had to pay to get in the door unless you knew somebody which is bullshit and the booze was too expensive for this cheap bastard. Plus the clubs in Atlanta always had a Tokyo Drift kind of feel to them. Too much gel and Asian persuasion for my liking. Give me cold beer, Jager bombs, and a bar where I can actually go talk to girls without having to use a megaphone. Plus I'm white so I have absolutely zero dance skills. In other words I looked as retarded as Dane Cook performing "comedy."
Flight of the Conchords has a new hit song out called "Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor" and I think this is the perfect tune for all those dance clubs that don't allow jeans, hats, or flip flops because this is usually what you find in those clubs...
I think Kobe Bryant is trying to make a point about his wife Vanessa. She doesn't seem to be taking it so well. Literally and figuratively of course...
I could give two shits about Brett Favre and his retirement. This is what, his 4th time he has hinted or done it? It's clear to me that Favre was extremely jealous of the headlines Alex Rodriguez was receiving for his admission to steroid use this week. He wants to be on the front of the all the New York rags and ESPN the Ocho for the next 48 hours nonstop.
In other inevitable news two months from now Favre will announce his passion is back for football and he has agreed to play for the Chicago Bears where he will again lead the league in interceptions and ass kissing from Peter King.
If you don't recall last year we were bombarded with so much Favre BS on ESPN it even got to Hitler's last nerve...
Future Hall of Famer Roberto Alomar is facing a lawsuit from an ex-girlfriend claiming he has AIDS and had unprotected sex with her while knowing according to the New York Daily News...
Baseball great Roberto Alomar has full-blown AIDS but insisted on having unprotected sex, his ex-girlfriend charged Tuesday in a bombshell lawsuit. The shocking claim was leveled by Ilya Dall, 31, who said she lived with the ex-Met for three years and watched in horror as his health worsened. In papers filed in state and federal court, Dall said Alomar finally got tested in January 2006 while suffering from a cough, fatigue and shingles. "The test results of him being HIV-positive was given to him and the plaintiff on or about Feb.6, 2006," the $15 million negligence suit says. Nine days later, the couple went to see a disease specialist who discovered a mass in the retired second baseman's chest, the court papers say. Alomar's skin had turned purple, he was foaming at the mouth and a spinal tap "showed he had full-blown AIDS," the suit says.
The article goes on to claim that Robbie Alomar confided to his ex he was raped when he was 17 by two Mexican men in or near New Mexico. I really don't have anything else to say other than I hope all of this is not true. We will see. AIDS isn't funny at all. Unless your name is Magic Johnson.
Dude, I've seen blind 4 year olds make layups better than McGrady. I've never been a big fan of McGrady and this missed layup and foul will be my lasting memory of him because I don't ever watch the Houston Rockets. That and his tears after losing in the playoffs.
Leonardo Dicaprio's girlfriend is the 2009 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover Model. Bar Refaeli is from Israel and has a name that people call their dogs but is as far away from dog looking as possible. She isn't Elle MacPherson in my opinion but you can't blame Leonardo for snagging up this stick figure. Being a covergirl for the SI Swimsuit Issue doesn't carry as much weight as it did back in the 80's and early 90's but I guess there is still some prestige. It probably gets you better blow but who really knows. When I was a kid I enjoyed my mom's Victoria Secret's catalog a lot more. She could never figure out how her catalogs would just disappear and never come back. Sinner.
ESPN's Scott Van Pelt was suspended for his radio show today because of what he said about Bud Selig and his $18.5 million dollar salary according to Deadspin.
I congratulate Van Pelt for voicing his opinion on Selig. I know Van Pelt (Maryland grad) works for a major corporation at ESPN and a lot of people think you shouldn't shit on somebody with as much power as Selig because his product brings in big bucks to the WWL but then what is the point of sports talk? He is hired to voice his opinion and I completely agree with him here. Selig has a house full of couches covered in plastic and it stinks. Selig is a PIMP who used to own the Milwaukee Brewers and somehow became the commissioner of a great game. He buried his head in the sand so to speak the whole time players used steroids and didn't budge against the player's union until the fucking government stepped in and Jose Canseco opened up his fat mouth. He still is too much of a pussy Nerd to step up and make the game better by balancing the competition on the field by instituting a salary cap.
And yet the guy gets paid $18.5 million to do what? Next thing you know he will be stepping down and recommending Peter Angelos for commissioner. I'm not even joking.
"When I arrived in Texas in 2001, I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I needed to perform, and perform at a high level every day," Rodriguez told ESPN's Peter Gammons in an interview in Miami Beach, Fla. "Back then, [baseball] was a different culture. It was very loose. I was young, I was stupid, I was naïve. I wanted to prove to everyone I was worth being one of the greatest players of all time.
"I did take a banned substance. For that, I'm very sorry and deeply regretful."
"It's been a rough 15 months here for me," Rodriguez said. "I was stupid for three years. I was very, very stupid. The more honest we can all be, the quicker we can get baseball [back] to where it needs to be."
Well at least he is being honest about something. I think it is cop out though to blame the MLB culture for his own self doing steroids. Weak argument but A-Rod has always come off a weak person so I guess I can accept it. I'm hoping the names of the 103 other players who got caught comes out eventually. The public deserves to know especially when a lot of hard earned tax dollars went to uncover this whole story.
That is of course as long as no more Orioles or Braves names are on that list. Or Ken Griffey Jr. Everyone else I could give two shits about.
I did find it pretty humorous how Kellogg's dropped Michael Phelps endorsement because he smokes pot. I hate to break it to Kellogg's but they do realize that our last 5 Presidents at the very least have toked some weed. It's not like this is a startling revelation that an athlete smokes weed. The NBA would cease to exist without weed. When I found out about the photo of Phelps reefing I simply shrugged my shoulders and said "Good for him!" The mofo won 12 gold medals for our country, he can smoke some pot now if he damn well pleases.
This is the unedited SNL version of film star Natalie Portman getting her rap on while drinking and driving and smoking pole at Harvard. A lot of people think Jay Z is the #1 rapper but he ain't got nothing on Ms. Portman. Her tongue is off the hook bitches.
New Irish teammate Setanta O'hAilpin made quite an impression on his teammates balls with this kick to Cameron Cloke after he punched him during an intra-club match. It appears the Aussies and Irish don't get along very well on the same team. You know what could cure their ill tempers for each other? A bloomin onion and a Guinness. Bloody right!
I've paid as much as $12 for a beer on the streets of Paris when I was backpacking and dished out $10 at Petco Park this past summer for a cold one and thought I was getting completely ripped off. But that is just a drop in the pint compared to what the first poured beer is going to cost at Leon’s Full Service in Decatur, GA. No worries though, apparently it's going to a good cause...
The first glass of beer poured Monday at Leon’s Full Service — the new gastropub in Decatur, will cost $2,650.
The pub owners auctioned off the first pint on eBay, and that was the highest of 56 bids, according to the Web site NextStopDecatur.com. All proceeds will benefit the fund set up for employees of the Trackside Tavern and 5th Earl Market, the two Decatur businesses that were destroyed by a fire about two weeks ago.
I feel bad for the employees and all losing their jobs because of a fire but if I am the winning bidder I want more than a fucking glass of beer for $2650. Maybe they should throw in a few lines of blow off a pub toilet seat with Jamal Anderson for shits and giggles. I laughed out loud when I read the story on Jamal Anderson. Not because I have been to Peachtree Tavern and know that that kind of shit happens everywhere in Buckhead but the fact that getting caught with cocaine is the least offensive thing Anderson has been caught doing. Let's just say the word on the street is Jam likes to the Dirty Bird at clubs like Swinging Richards. So he didn't get caught doing lines off the 20 year old guy's dugan he was with in the stall so that helps his PR case. And Kordell Stewart was taking hikes from his behind either at the time. So it's not all that bad. Also for $2650 they better be throwing in some grade A Andruw Jones hookers. I feel bad for those hookers now that Andruw has accepted a contract with the Texas Rangers. The economy is shit and now their #1 client is in Texas. This world just isn't fair. Not for $2650 for a stinkin beer.
It took Baltimore Orioles fan/artist Dustin Barkley over 30 hours and 10,000 thumbtacks to make this Cal Ripken Jr. art piece. Well done sir. You pretty much nailed it. Tacked it. Sorry.
We finally got a brand new shirt to prepare for the upcoming baseball season. With Spring Training less than a week away and the shocking (not really) revelations that Alex Rodriguez failed a drug test back in 2003 for steroids we figured it was a good time to make a shirt in honor of #13 for the pinstripes. The shirts are only $17 and can be purchased at this link.
Shipping will start in about a week. Be sure to spread the word. I would love to see a stadium full of fans wearing this A-Roids shirt. It's only a matter of time before Madonna, or Gollum as I prefer to affectionately call her, is spotted in one of this killer A-Roids shirts.
Say goodbye to the fraternity party atmosphere at the Preakness. Organizers are banning you from bringing your own alcohol or water onto Pimlico's infield.
Pimlico's top brass say they are trying to give the Preakness a new dimension this year. Maryland Jockey Club President Tom Chuckas says they are hoping the changes will give the Preakness Celebrations a different feel and introduce a new audience to horse racing.
But Preakness fan Matt Plummer says it could chase recurring fans away. "They expect to drink, bring their own beer and party all day."
Chuckas says beer will still be available in 16-ounce cups. But you'll have to buy it for $3.50 a cup. Water and other beverages will also be sold.
Preakness fan Mike Bauwens says, "That's going to change everything. It's expensive already."
In addition to the alcohol changes, Pimlico will add an infield concert and professional volleyball tournament to the infield party. This year's performers will include ZZ Top & Buckcherry.
The price of tickets won't change. It will still cost you $50 in advance or $60 at the door. This year's Preakness is scheduled for May 16th.
As a 4-time drunk attendee of the Preakness Stakes I have to admit this is a sad, pathetic day. The whole point of going to Preakness is bringing in your own beer and not worrying about dishing out a shitload of cash for booze. Hell, we would bring in bottles of cheap Tequila in Sprite 2 liters and make Tequila sunrises at 7 am inside the infield. Why did we do it? Because it was all we could afford as college students. Getting the tickets was a lot of money for us. This is a fucking disgrace that is all holy about Preakness. I also can't believe the tickets are that expensive. When I went a decade ago the tickets were $35 advance, $40 at the door. And the economy was fucking great back then. Now you are going to tell all these college kids they can't bring their own booze, will get charged $3.50 a beer, and the tickets are a rip off? They just royally fucked themselves on this and I can guarantee that the crowd will be cut at least into half. What a joke!
So they want a higher clientele in there is what I'm taking from all this. Fuck them and their horserace is what I say. Those uppity douchebags drinking their Mimosas and Mint Julips! This calls for a riot. No more running of the urinal races anymore...
I'm so pissed right now. I'm going to go buy a couple of 30 packs of Natty Light and drink like I did then and pass out in my front yard with piss all over myself. Why? Because it's in honor of my college years at Towson and Preakness. You didn't just drink and see random fights and fake breasts on that infield in Pimlico. You grew up if you made it out alive. You entered a boy and left a man. A really, really drunk man. What is the world coming to?
I'm going to miss the random, just flat out crazy shit that happens at Preakness...
I will be the first to admit that I can release some powerful odors at ease and I bless my wife for putting up with it but I have never, ever had this happen to me...
A woman reported Sunday night she found her daughter, 17, and a Russell man, 18, naked together in bed.
The woman returned from a Super Bowl party at 11:49 p.m. when she found the pair. She requested officers escort the man from her home. The daughter reported she and the man were at a different party where they were drinking beer. The girl said she knew he was not allowed in her house, but she invited him anyway.
The girl is facing a juvenile charge of underage consumption. The man, who had a small amount of marijuana and a marijuana pipe, was charged with underage consumption, marijuana possession and drug paraphernalia possession.
Major, and I mean major party foul by the mother here. Not only did you get your daughter in trouble with the law but you managed to embarrass the shit out of her just because you were jealous of her getting some Steely McBeam from some young hunk. She should be the one in jail for bad parenting. Hell, if this was in California and not Cleveland she would have been joining in with her daughter on same late night sexcapades.
