SORRY EVERYBODY

I apologize for the lack of posts lately. I've been running (actually flying and driving) from Atlanta to DC to Baltimore and now back to Atlanta the past two weeks for my other paying job. Basically I have been really f-ing busy. But now I am f-ing back and ready to give all of you a piece of my shat...


We got less than 4 weeks till football season starts so expect a lot of heavy preseason football talk from this here Sportscrack Blog. It's going to get nasty but that is the way you like it you filthy whores. Be prepared. You are warned. September 5th can't get here soon enough.

THE GREAT MICHAEL FLOYD

32 more days till we see Michael Floyd put on the Blue and Gold and have an All-American season starting September 5th. Last season Floyd put up nearly 900 yards receiving despite missing some action due to injuries and not starting the first game. This year Floyd will put up over 1200 yards receiving with 10 plus touchdown catches. Everybody in the nation wants to talk about how great Julio Jones and AJ Green were last season and for good reason. Both of those guys are stud receivers who will play on Sundays. Floyd might be better than both of them.

ERIC BERRY AND THE VOLS "WILD BOYS"

Yes that is Tennessee's dynamic safety Eric Berry with some sort of chain around his neck posing shirtless in front of Lamborghini with his other Volunteer teammates. And they are all shirtless too. Not gay at all. Nothing to see here. It's great to see Lane Kiffin is bringing out the Cali to the Volunteer state.

You can go ahead and purchase the official Tennessee shirt for 2009. Not that there is anything wrong with it...

MELVIN MORA FEELS DISRESPECTED OVER BENCHING

Mora Feels Disrespected (8/2/09)
by gatecitycanes

This is coming from a guy who has 3 home runs, 27 RBI's, and a .650 OPS for THE ENTIRE SEASON! Melvin Mora needs one of two things: steroids or humility. Actually make it both. He is lucky manager Dave Trembley kept him in the lineup for so long considering how completely shitty his bat has been this year. Mora will be a free agent after this season and can go look for a job somewhere else. Maybe he should have a talk with Tom Glavine. He seems to be doing quite well for himself in his current job search. I've always liked Mora but I can't see where he is coming from with his bitching about "disrespect." Dude, you suck balls this year. Sit your ass on the bench and be a good teammate...not a distraction.

URBAN MEYER SIGNS EXTENSION WITH FLORIDA

Georgia and Notre Dame fans should just sit down, take a deep breath, and relax.

Urban Meyer is going to stay at Florida for a while. FUCK!

He signed a 6 year extension that will pay him nearly $4 million a season to stay in Gainesville. I heard Urban was leaning toward leaving the Gators after Tim Tebow graduates and cures cancer but then he saw this entertaining rap song about Tebow and he figured he would stay in the South and dominate the SEC with those cool looking Gaytors Wal-Mart jerseys...

Video HT: EDSBS

Honestly I don't know how I feel about Urban Meyer staying. Hopefully Charlie Weis can right the ship up in Notre Dame and start winning some ball games (I expect nothing less than 11 victories this season) so I no longer have to worry about what or if Urban Meyer is going to leave Gainesville for South Bend. If I was a die hard Georgia fan I would be a little worried with him staying. Meyer is basically Steve Spurrier 2.0 but he already has more national championships in 4 years than the ole Ball Coach. Maybe Mark Richt will pray real hard and come up with a scheme to beat Urbie after the mid afternoon rape they received in Jax last year.

TIRED OF WAITING FOR COLLEGE FOOTBALL

We got just over one month left till college football kicks off and it can't get here soon enough. I am ready to fire up the tailgate, bail out Terrelle Pryor and get this shit rocking. The waiting is the hardest part. I have the itch. I need my college football fix now! I need to see pigskins flying in South Bend, Athens and yes even that shithole whore they call Ann Arbor. Don't make me get mad! Deep breath, exhale, pass it over.

Until college football starts I will play my beer pong thank you very much...

MATTHEW STAFFORD LOVING HIM SOME SEC POON

Courtesy of HOTSECPOON.COM we get these great pictures of Matthew Stafford fully enjoying his bachelorhood with plenty of hot pieces of tail coming at him like chum in water. It's great to see an athlete live it up to it's fullest especially after a rich payday. He better enjoy it now because I don't think the Detroit poon is going to be nearly as nice as the UGA ones.

VIVA LA MATTHEW!!!!

TIGER WOODS RIPS ONE

From Mac Gs World comes this video of Tiger Woods ripping a screamer on the 18th of the Buick Open. His caddy Steve Williams seems to enjoy it. Shit, I would smell his farts all day if I knew at the end of the day I was getting 10% of whatever Tiger wins.

UPDATE: HAHA, the PGA pulled the video. It must have copyright rights to Tiger's farts.

STEPHON MARBURY IS A HELL OF A DRUG

Check out what Stephon Marbury is on, doing, whatever live at Justin TV. Marbury is a hell of a drug is all I have to say.

HT: Jay

AMAZING HOLE IN ONE NETS CAR

Leif Olson proves the quickest way to the hole is off your playing partner's ball. At the Canadian Open this weekend the Leif pulled off one of the most unique shots I have ever seen on a golf course and in doing so won the BMW Z Roadster. Goes to show if you like to knock each others balls around then good things can happen.

Video HT: With Leather

VOTE JIMMY FOR HEISMAN SHIRT

Show your support for your favorite Jimmy while he strikes the Heisman pose at www.jimmy4heisman.com

TIM TEBOW IS A VIRGIN

Anal virgin still counts right?

Next year I will have to make it to the SEC Media Day. For some reason my credentials got lost in the "mail." Now at least we know Tebow has another mission to get accomplished called the missionary position. No wonder the guy plays with so much adrenaline. I would be running through brick walls and curing cancer if I wasn't getting laid.

GEORGIA QB JOE COX LIVES UP TO NAME

Via Deadspin via Sporting News comes this picture of Georgia Bulldogs quarterback Joe Cox man region. Apparently he forgot his cup. What a cock knocker! I can't wait to see the Bobby Cox spread. They will have to airbrush the FUPA out.

MARK BUEHRLE THROWS PERFECTION THANKS TO A WISE PLAY

Mark Buehrle just threw only the 18th perfect game in Major League history. Congrats go to him and his perfection. Bastard. He better give Dewayne Wise a shower full of high class hookers for saving his ass there in the 9th. What a clutch play!

Listen to the Hawk go crazy with the call...

LA LOVES MANNY RAMIREZ

Manny Ramirez provided the moment only legends can dream of when his pinch hit, grand slam in the 6th inning landed in "Mannywood" and thus sent the packed crowd in Chavez Ravine into pandemonium. His 21st career grand slam puts him just 2 behind the all-time leader in the great Lou Gehrig and has all but abolished any ill feelings the LA crowd felt about the 50 game suspension. It also happened on his bobblehead doll night, a game in which he wasn't expected to play because of a sore left hand that was hit by a pitch the night before.

"It was one of the best moments in my career," he said. "I'm just glad it happened in LA."

Fucking Manny can hit a ball like nobody else.

NEW SHIRT: TOP GUNNER 37

We got a lot of requests to do a shirt for the Top Gunner in the nation who wears the #37 for the Blue and Gold and this was our best suggestion. The idea for the shirt was sent in by Paul Bautch who thought the Top Gun logo would be cool to work with and obviously we agreed since it is one of our favorite movies.

The front of the shirts says "TOP GUNNER SOUTH BEND SPECIAL FORCES" and on the back it says "TOP GUNNER" with the #37 below it. Hope you guys and gals like it and be sure to spread the word. As always a portion of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society.

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE

RUH ROH, TIM TEBOW IS "MAN OF MANY MISSIONS"

The Ultimate QB Tim Tebow is back and is ready to grace us with his presence for the next...oh, I'm going to say 6 solid months. Everyone will come out of the woodwork to pick and pull apart his game as he enters his senior season. But it won't matter because Tebow is the real deal. As you probably know I'm not a Gaytors fan but I do respect the competitor and leader that Tebow is. Ever since I saw this video of him on ESPN Outside the Lines of him playing in high school with a broken freaking leg I have had nothing but mad respect for this kid...

Tebow is the Chosen One and deserves the attention and praise he gets. Any team and fan would kill to have a Tim Tebow as their quarterback. He is a natural born leader who has never gotten in trouble. That is pretty hard especially in a city like Gainesville. Not one slip up. The kid has lived up to the hype. Two National Titles. One Heisman Trophy. And I have a hard time finding any team beating the Gators in 2009 because of Tim Tebow.

So get ready for the endless stories about Tebow and his mission work in third world countries and how he carries his team to victory and how he is the greatest college football player of all-time. And as a cynical as I am I am not bothered by it one bit. Tebow is the real deal. Don't believe me? Fast forward to the 2:00 minute mark of this video and then you judge him...

"You just hear the bone moving and stuff...just popping and stuff"-Tebow playing on a broken leg.

BRING BACK THE NIGHT GAME

Notre Dame hasn't had a night game since I was a kid. This is apparently one of the reasons why...

1988 vs. those pussies from Michigan (I mean that affectionately) who couldn't handle a little crowd noise from 58,000 drunk Catholics. I wish Notre Dame would bring back the night game atmosphere. Notre Dame Stadium now seats 80,000 plus and I could only imagine how much the place would be shaking if on October 17th they decided to make it a night game against USC. Holy shit balls it would be epic.

44 MORE DAYS

Till Alabama's Julio Jones makes his presence felt again in a big way...

GEORGIA RECRUIT IS SCARED OF THE BEAVER...

or he is gay! Georgia's newest verbally committed recruit, Douglass (GA) High School defensive lineman Garrison Smith, is not going to chase the pooney when he gets to Athens...

"I know a lot of people will laugh at me, but I'm trying to practice abstinence," Smith said. "That's a big thing for me."

Come on Man! There is no way he means those words. Look at the shirt he is wearing for the interview. "Fighting Beavers!" The kid probably has a Black Mamba and yet he doesn't want to slay the countless amounts of ass that will be thrown his way just because he plays in the red and black? I don't get it. I hope he is joking. He has to be joking around. He points out Shaun Alexander as a role model in his fight to not fuck before marriage but Alexander was full of shit. He chased skirt all the time. I met Alexander in Vegas a few years back and he mentioned how much he loved coming to Atlanta for the women during his college days. So no need to fight the beaver. Slay it like a man!

HT: Brian