WHEN THE WIFE DON'T LISTEN

Funny: yes. Cruel: yes. Deserving: yes.

Video HT: Erika

DETROIT LIONS FANS GONE WILD

This is what happens when you wear jerseys of old players who no longer play for your team. Roy Williams is a Cowboy now lady. Apparently she hasn't received the news yet. Or the fact that the Lions haven't won a game since 2007. I love it when the black guy at the end is telling her "You going to jail!" Oh sweet irony, a drunk white chick going to the slammer.

Video HT: Brian Dascenzo

PSA FOR INSURANCE COMPANY PROFITS

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

Even right wing nutbags can laugh at this. Hell, I laughed and I have had to pay out of pocket over $15,000 to put metal plates and screws in my left leg when I shattered it 4 years ago. Oh yeah, it also did a great job of messing up my credit score all because I lost my job 2 months before my accident. Universal health care sounds like a great idea to me. How else is Charlie Weis going to be able to afford another botched gastric bypass surgery? Think about the overweight coaches people and show a little heart.

RAY LEWIS TRIES TO KILL ANOTHER MAN

Ray Lewis is the greatest linebacker to ever play the game. Ever. No argument. I value my life and you should to and just agree before Ray Ray finds you.

SERGIO KINGLE WILL EAT YOUR CHILDREN

Pretty sure Texas defensive end Sergio Kindle almost ripped off Texas Tech quarterback Taylor Potts's porn stache with that hit.

GOLDEN TATE DIVING INTO THE SPARTANS BAND

I could watch this all day. Thank freaking God Notre Dame finally beat Michigan State on their home field. It's amazing to think that this was their first win against Michigan State at Notre Dame Stadium since 1993. 1993 was the last year Notre Dame actually contended for a National Title. Losing Michael Floyd for the year due to a broken collarbone hurts real bad because he was the best wide receiver in college football but at least Notre Dame still has playmakers at the position like Golden Tate. This was the winning touchdown pass from Jimmy Clausen. I dare somebody to find a better pass delivered on Saturday. Perfect throw delivered from the football Gods to a streaking Golden and then moments later Notre Dame finally catches a break and Grand Theft Kyle McCarthy seals the victory with an interception (his 5th game in a row with at least one INT).

Notre Dame of course drops in the rankings because they are Notre Dame and because they lost Michael Floyd for the year. Notre Dame is the only team who can consistently drop in the rankings when they win. Weird how that works out. But a win is a win in my book and I will take it any day. Plus USC lost to a team who couldn't win a game last year. Now that is fucking funny.

FORMER NOTRE DAME FULLBACK MARC EDWARDS HAS SOME HARSH WORDS FOR JIMMY CLAUSEN

This caught me by surprise today. Former Notre Dame fullback Marc Edwards was asked about his thoughts in regards to current Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen and his place among the greats to play for the blue and gold. I will let you read it for yourself...

Notre Dame has been starved for a winner at quarterback for a long time.

Ron Powlus had some big victories that I was a part of, and Brady Quinn put up some numbers and has some games that you remember, but you probably have to go back to Kevin McDougal for the last of the great winners. It wasn’t like he was a big passer, but that team won. He willed us to some victories. Even though he never put up huge numbers, that team won. So he gets a lot of credit for that.

Unless you’re winning big games, I don’t care what kind of stats you’re putting up. Unless you’re leading the team to victory, you’re not going to go down as a great Notre Dame quarterback.

That’s the first obstacle Jimmy Clausen needs to overcome. He needs a signature victory to be in that conversation and I haven’t really seen that yet.

He’s a junior, and he’s not even close to the level of a legendary Notre Dame quarterback. Not even close. Until he gets those signature wins, I don’t give a s*** how many yards you’re putting up, how many touchdowns you’re putting up. It doesn’t matter without the wins. If we go 8-4 and don’t beat anyone worth a d***, no one is going to remember and no one will care.

Yeah, he had a great coming-out party against Hawaii and a good win to start the season against Nevada, but neither of those are wins people are going to remember. We haven’t beat a major team since I can remember. A top 5 team, a big bowl game. Even if they would’ve beat Michigan this season it would’ve been better. Until he does that, he’s just a guy putting up numbers.

Is the pressure on Jimmy? Absolutely. But there’s never too much pressure on a kid like this. You sign up to be the quarterback at Notre Dame, and that’s what you get. But the second he starts winning, he’ll be getting the accolades coming his way.

I don’t know if he has that “it” factor yet. Any Notre Dame team can go out and beat up on the Nevada’s of the world, but until you go out there and compete against USC or Michigan or someone like that, then Jimmy Clausen will just be another quarterback.

First off let me start by saying I am a huge fan of Marc Edwards. I always respected the way he played the game for the Fighting Irish. Notre Dame always got a 100% effort from the big guy and he left his heart on the field at all times. But I think a lot of what he says is dead wrong here. Yes, quarterbacks are measured by wins no doubt. But you can't blame ND losing last week because of Jimmy Clausen. He doesn't play defense or special teams or wears the pinstripes for the Big Ten. He throws touchdown passes and lately he has been throwing a ton without turning the ball over. What else can you ask out of your quarterback? Just because Dan Marino never won a Super Bowl doesn't mean he isn't a great quarterback. Nobody is going to take Trent Dilfer over Marino. Nobody. Until Notre Dame develops some great lines they can't compete with the big boys on a consistent basis. This isn't Jimmy's fault and Edwards should have enough brains to see this. Clausen is handling all the "pressure" with ease at Notre Dame. He hasn't gotten in any trouble and it seems like his teammates really like him. He has developed into a leader this season. Yet to know all this and then to hear a former player knock him down is disappointing. Edwards has a right to his opinion no matter how idiotic it is. I would just hope that former players would show support for the current ones instead of acting like this. In other words, FUCK OFF MARC EDWARDS! You are either with us or against us. Please act like you are a part of the Notre Dame family and show your support. And please don't point out a quarterback who has Clausen's numbers (leads the nation in almost every important QB stat this season) and state that they are basically a failure if they don't win.

Just my two cents.

PAUL JOHNSON: "ARE YOU THAT STUPID?"

Georgia Tech football coach Paul Johnson finally let it all out last night on offensive lineman Phil Smith after he had a false start while Tech was attempting to go for a 2 point conversion while down 33-16. You could see the frustration building up all night for Johnson. Tech was getting absolutely manhandled all game. Their defense looked slow, really slow and their offense could not muster up a running game because their QB Josh Nesbitt looks like Reggie Ball 2.0 when throwing. This could be a long season for the Ramblin' Wreck if they don't work on their conditioning. They look like a bunch of toothless New York hookers out there.



By the way, what happened to Reck Style last night? Where was the hunger to win?

SHAKEN BABY SYNDROME OR MIAMI CRACK ADDICT?

Big HT to Patrick for the video. I don't know about what you guys think but I am on the Jacory Harris bandwagon. Harris is just a sophomore and he has completely torn apart a FSU and Georgia Tech defense that before the season started were not seen as weak but Jacory has made them look like it.

Jacory just seems so cool, calm, and collected whether he is in the pocket or rolling out and finding underneath receivers open. After last night's game I would have to say that Jacory and the U are legit. They completely tore up a decent Georgia Tech team last night in Coral Gables that was pretty much the same team that tore them up last year to the tune of 470 rushing yards. If the Miami offensive line can keep Jacory's uniform clean then I wouldn't be surprised to see this team lose 1 or less games this year and be serious contenders for a BCS Bowl game. They still have to travel to Blacksburg to face Virginia Tech and then face Oklahoma in the next two weeks but if they can win at least one of those there is little doubt this team is top 10 material.

It's actually quite amazing too when most of the team is comprised of sophomores and freshmen. Head coach Randy Shannon is apparently no longer in the hot seat either. I'm actually kind of looking forward to the Convicts being good. It makes the ACC a lot more interesting and god knows they need something.

What do you guys think? Is Miami legit? Is Jacory Harris now a serious contender for the Heisman? Is that really a baby on that guys shoulders or just some coked out Mexican?

THE PURPLE JESUS SHIRT

We got another brand new NFL style t-shirt called the PURPLE JESUS. It's in honor of the best back in the NFL, Mr. Adrian "Purple Jesus" Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings. This is a great shirt for any AP fan or Minnesota Vikings fan or if you like to refer to your man member as Purple Jesus. Trust me, the ladies love the Purple Jesus.

And for the low price of $17 you can't beat the Purple Jesus.

Buy it now at THE SPORTSCRACK STORE PAGE.

KEEP DOING WHAT TO CHICKENS?

The reaction of the female co-anchor is absolutely priceless. It's like she just got it in the wrong hole. It appears Fox News in New York City is a little too "liberal" for the rest of us.

"Keep f-king that chicken!"

"Ok, I will do that."

If anybody was wondering if Ron Burgundy was real...well...you got your answer.

Video HT: WarmingGlow

WRONG HOLE LOVE BALLAD

We have all been there...

WRONG HOLE with DJ Lubel, Taryn Southern and Scott Baio from Scott Baio

MICHIGAN LINEBACKER JONAS MOUTON PUNCHING NOTRE DAME CENTER ERIC OLSEN

Nothing like some good old fashion punches being thrown in college football. What are the chances Michigan head coach Rich Rodriguez suspends Mouton for throwing the sucker punch in the neck of Olsen? I'm going to say 1 in a million.

Video HT: IrishFanNetwork.com

ROGER FEDERER DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT

Roger Federer lost not only his chance at a 16th Grand Slam title yesterday but also his cool as he vented his frustrations out at the chair umpire in between games. Listen, I like to see this kind of stuff in tennis. Makes it more interesting. The tennis elite class will tell you that this is uncalled for and has no place in the game. I call it being competitive. Congratulations go out to Juan Martin del Potro for winning his first Grand Slam title. He beat Rafa and Federer. He deserved this title and if you haven't had a chance to watch the 20 year old Argentinan play you should because his forehand stroke comes at you like a Nolan Ryan fastball. 100 mph plus!

Anywho, this will be the last we talk about tennis for a while considering 75% of the world population doesn't even know it still exists. It's hard to pay attention to a sport that tells you to be quiet every time something remotely exciting happens.

As Roger Federer would say,"Don't tell me to be quiet, when I want to talk I will talk, I don't give a shit." I agree.

JOHN ABRAHAM MAKES JAKE LONG HIS BITCH

Jake Long made the Pro Bowl last year as a rookie. John Abraham for some reason didn't make the team despite having 16.5 sacks last year. Let's just say Abraham has taken it personal and will show the rest of the NFL who one of the best pure speed rushers is in the game right now. If he stays healthy there is no doubt he gets 20 sacks this season. The Atlanta Falcons will need every single one of those sacks if they are going to be legitimate contenders for the NFC Championship this year.

VIRGINIA CAVALIER FOOTBALL IS GRACEFUL

0-2 with losses to William and Mary and TCU (The Horned Frogs are legit) and this season is already off to a rocky start. Throw in the fact that your mascot can't stay on his horse and you know this is going to be a long season for any Cavalier fan. Just blast some Dave Matthews and pray that Al Groh retires or quits UVA fans. 2009 looks like another lost season.

NOT A GOOD WAY TO START THE SEASON FOR THE CHICAGO BEARS

The Chicago Bears started their 2009 season off with a bang last night and I'm not talking of the gang variety. Early in the first half they lost linebacker Brian Urlacher to a wrist injury. He did not return and now it has become official: he is lost for the season with a dislocated wrist. Ouch! To make matters worst last night the Bears lost to one of their arch rivals Green Bay Packers thanks to the newly acquired savor Jay Cutler. Cutler threw his 4th and final interception to seal a Bears defeat with less than a minute to go in the game. The loud booming cheer you heard wasn't from Packers fans. Nope, those were Denver chants. The Broncos fans could be heard all the way from the Rockies thanks to a "HAHA...GO F YOURSELF CUTLER!" feeling that simply overcame the state of Colorado.

I know I might get blasted on this since there are a ton of Bears fans who read this blog but I've never understood the fascination with Urlacher. It seems like the guy always missed more tackles than he actually made. He basically reminds me of Keith Brooking. Solid linebacker but not a guy who deserves to be considered one of the best at his position. Urlacher benefited from playing in Chicago and the Bears never having a franchise QB. I guess after last night we can still say that.

ROGER FEDERER BETWEEN THE LEGS SHOT

My balls shrivel at the thought of swinging a metal object forcefully between my legs but the world's greatest tennis player, Roger Federer, has balls of steel so he can do whatever he wants. Federer advances to his 17th final in the last 18 majors which is a phenomenal feat to face up and comer Juan Martin Del Potro who crushed Federer's main nemesis Rafa Nadal yesterday in straight sets. If Federer wins it will be his 16th grand slam title and his 6th US Open title in a row.

And yes, the only reason I'm writing about this is to completely forget about Saturday's events in Ann Arbor. The only thing I'm trying to remember for the good of my body and mind is that Michael Floyd proved yet again he is the most dominating receiver in college football. Floyd is the Larry Fitzgerald of college football.

CBS ANNOUNCER GUS JOHNSON GOES CRAZY AND I LOVE IT

All announcers should react to plays like this. Love the emotion CBS play-by-play guy Gus Johnson displayed here. I was watching this game after they cut to it immediately after the Atlanta Falcons beat the wildcat out of the Miami Dolphins today. Great way to start off the NFL season. It looks like we will see Michael Vick soon in an Eagles uniform. Starting QB Donovan McNabb broke a rib today. Vick still has to sit out next week but then come week 3 he should probably be starting. Ruh roh.

STATE TROOPERS SHOW SPURRIER NO RESPECT

Back in the day when Steve Spurrier was hanging 50 plus points on the Bulldogs while coaching at Florida nobody would dare due the fist bump right in front of him. How things have changed for the Ole Ball Coach.