Here is our brand new THE GREEN MACHINE 8 shirt. We have had a ton of requests for this shirt to be made so I expect them to sell like crazy. Crazy like band boy ass crazy. If anybody is offended by this shirt or has a problem with it (Sierra Club, hippies, etc.) then you can email me at gofukurself@sportscrack.com.
I say this because today I was informed by a guy who runs a website that we paid to advertise on that he would no longer be doing business together because he was offended by our shirts such as the Ginas and the Gaytors shirts. I'm going to say this again, our shirts are all meant to be in good humor. If you find them offensive well then I am sorry. But you can get your liberal ass out of here if you think I am going to stop selling these shirts because your panties got a little wet when you saw one of our fucking shirts.
So in conclusion, free speech wins baby! God bless America and don't ever expect to see any PC shit here. Hoorah!
Talk about your all-time fuckup, fast forward to the 1:28 part of this video and see how Casey Babcock displays his inner Leon Lett...
Casey will never live down the embarrassment of that moment. In fact his life is about to spiral for the worst. No doubt about it. Here is what he will look like in 15 years....
"Jimmy is ready to go today. Jimmy's back. Armando's back. We're ready to go." - Charlie Weis
From IrishIllustrated comes this wonderful quote from today's presser with Notre Dame head coach Charlie Weis. Thank God. Notre Dame's offense struggled for the first time all season thanks in part to losing Michael Floyd for the season the week before but a large part of it was not having Armando Allen in the backfield and Jimmy Clausen playing half a game due to turf toe. If Notre Dame is going to outscore their opponents this season (trust me their defense can't stop shit right now) they are going to have to rely on Clausen and Armando getting the majority of the playing reps. Clausen is one of the top 3 quarterbacks in the nation right now and sealed one of those signature moments in Irish history when he came off the bench to help lead Notre Dame to a tough road victory in the final seconds with a winning touchdown pass to tight end Kyle Rudolph. The backup Dayne Crist is a great player himself but Jimmy is the clear leader of the offense and makes it work with his incredible accuracy and experience. Notre Dame also has a ton of depth at the tailback position but "MANDO" as I call him is the most dependable and has turned himself into a top 10 back in the nation with his 326 rushing yards in the first 3 games.
Having Jimmy and Mando back gives Notre Dame an extra 10 points at the very least in my opinion this weekend against a dangerous Washington team. Notre Dame has to win and hopefully convincingly instead of giving me cardiac arrest once again. They have an off week to prepare for their biggest game of the season: USC. Jimmy and Mando will help determine whether or not Notre Dame is ready to step up to the big boy table and finally slay their arch rival Trojans. The FUPA's job is on the line as well. I can't wait.
The Seattle Seahawks wore their bright lime throwback jerseys this past week against the Chicago Bears and they did what every Seahawks team has done: they choked away a win. But who gives a shit, it's the Seahawks. What was really cool to see was one of my favorite Notre Dame players of all-time, Julius Jones, give a little tribute touchdown dance to none other than past wrestling greats Jeff Jarrett and Ric Flair. Awesome.
EDIT: As pointed out by one of our great readers Jeff this move was "Technically speaking, the move he was doing was originated by wrestling legend Jackie Fargo, who was the King of Memphis wrestling BEFORE Jerry Lawler." So there you go, thanks for the heads up Jeff!
AJ Green is the second best receiver in the country behind Michael Floyd and showed why he will be a top NFL pick after next season with this catch and juke against Arizona State in between the hedges...
And just when you think he can't do anything more on offense Coach Richt decides to loan him to special teams and he comes up with the field goal block to save the game...
AJ Green deserves a mountain full of naked coeds with little ambition other than nailing the football star. He earned his poon Saturday night.
Congratulations go out to the Detroit Lions for breaking the streak and winning their first regular season NFL game since 2007. Thanks to Washington Redskins QB Jason Campbell and his "shlippery" balls the Lions finally caught a break and ended their 19 game losing streak. The Deadskins are now right up there with the Raiders as one of those once proud NFL franchises turned shit. Both have dickheads for owners and morons for quarterbacks. Those fan bases deserve better and shouldn't have to deal with shlippery excuses.
You can always rely on the Nappy Valley fanatics to keep it real classy when it comes to signs at Gameday. Iowa went on that night to beat up Penn State and stay undefeated at 4-0 while handing the JoePa's their first loss of the season. It's good to see the Coaches poll recognized this huge road win by Iowa and put them 17th. What makes it ridiculous is the fact they have Penn State 13th in the same poll. Umm, I take it they don't even watch the games. Bias much?
Florida QB Tim Tebow may be the Ultimate QB but even he can't take hits like this and survive for much longer. Tebow was helped off the field after being knocked unconscious and was taken to a hospital with an obvious severe case of a concussion. He was seen blowing chunks into a feedbag as they were carting him off the field Saturday night in Lexington. Now I am no doctor by any means and I have not stayed at a Holiday Inn Express but I would believe with a severe case of head trauma this bad Tebow is going to have to miss some time granted the Gators have an off week before they face LSU. If the University of Florida and head coach Urban Meyer have the best interest of the student-athlete here and his well being there is no way he should be allowed to play against LSU in 12 days. Concussions are like black outs for all the fellow drunks out there. You don't remember what happened, you throw up, and your body and more importantly your head need time to recover from the traumatic episode. So essentially Tebow is a recovering alcoholic right now. It's in his best interests to stay away from the sauce in this case we will call football and let his brain recover before going at it again. Or he could just jump right off the wagon and go at it like all of us idiots on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. Brain cells are overrated anyways.
In all honesty the Gators should make Tebow sit down for at least a month. They have enough depth and talent to beat anybody on their schedule. Hell, they won a National Championship with Chris Leak as their quarterback. The spread offense that Urban Meyer has installed since arriving in Gainesville has not been stopped by even the best of SEC defenses. Meyer is considered one of the top coaches in college football and should be able to figure out a way to win without Tim Tebow. Their defense is incredibly fast and ferocious this year so all it takes is a QB who is going to lead them to at least 2 TD's a game. I think the Brantley kid can handle it.
How can you deny the power of the Flair? If I lived in North Carolina I would be shelling out my hard earned hooker spit money for some scratch off tickets. WOOOOOO!!!! Personally I was always a Sting fan but I also enjoyed Ric Flair. He was like the white man's version of a pimp.
Jevan Snead was awful tonight. He is no Heisman candidate by any means. The Ole Ball Coach beat Ole Piss and now Ole Miss can go back to where they belong: outside of the top 10. I got this feeling we will see a lot of upsets this weekend. Gators better watch out!
1. FLORIDA GATORS-The Gators and Tim Tebow weren't overly impressive at home against Tennessee but they did win so there is no reason to knock them off of the #1 spot. In 3 games the Gators have scored 19 TD's while giving up only 1. They travel to Lexington this week to face Kentucky who could give them a game for about 3 quarters.
2. TEXAS LONGHORNS-The Longhorns got their revenge for their only loss last season by defeating Texas Tech 34-24 in Austin. Colt McCoy has been off a little this season and the Longhorns pass defense is again suspect but they should cruise this week against UTEP. McCoy needs to put up some big stats if he wants to hang in the Heisman race.
3. ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE-I am starting to think this year's Alabama squad is better than last year. Despite losing Andre Smith and John Parker Wilson the offense looks better and more well rounded with junior QB Greg McElroy in there. They face an Arkansas team that can put a lot of points on the board this week so it should be a good test to see how good their defense really has become. The offense should have no problems putting up 30 plus on a pretty bad Razorback defense.
4. MIAMI HURRICANES-The Canes are by far the surprise team this year in college football. I was skeptical to think they could make such a big jump this season after a lackluster first two years under Randy Shannon but I was clearly wrong. They absolutely dominated Georgia Tech last week and this week continue their nightmarish schedule by traveling to Blacksburg. If QB Jacory Harris leads them to victory with a good game against the Hokies then he is right up there with Jahvid Best as the leading guy to win the Heisman in my opinion.
5. OLE MISS REBELS-The Rebels get their first true test this season tonight in Columbia with a Gamecock team that is poised for an upset. Ole Miss and QB Jevan Snead have cruised in their first two games against inferior opponents but they will need to play great tonight since traditionally they are not good in SEC road openers. I think this game will come down to the wire and would not be shocked to see an upset for the Ole Ball Coach.
6. CALIFORNIA BEARS-Jahvid Best has proven he is the best back in the nation. No question about it. His 5 TDs against the Golden Gophers last week vaulted him to the top of the Heisman talk and this week they face a dangerous Oregon team in Eugene. Who ever wins this game has the best chance of unseating USC as the PAC-10 Champ.
7. PENN STATE NITTANY LIONS-JoePa's stormtroopers had another boring victory against the mighty power of Temple last week. I'm sorry but I can't stand watching Penn State. Maybe it's the Big Ten conference that bores the shit out of me but it just always seems that Penn State never has an explosive offense that can keep my attention. They get Iowa in Happy Valley this week looking to avenge their only Big Ten loss in 2008. Last year it was a hell of a game that did keep my attention. This year I think Penn State wins by 10.
8. CINCINNATI BEARCATS-Brace yourself for this: The Bearcats could be playing in the BCS Title game! Yes, I said it. Look at their schedule. It sucks. Plus Brian Kelly is a great coach and has the confidence rolling for them. I'm rooting for them just to hear how many people bitch and moan about them not deserving to play a Florida or Texas team for the National Title. It makes for great talk. They should roll over Fresno State at home this week.
9. LSU TIGERS-3-0 for the Fear Les Tigers so far but they still are not playing their best game. If they continue to improve with a tuneup this week against Mississippi State I will feel much better with them traveling to Athens next week.
10. MICHIGAN WOLVERINES-Fuck me for saying this but they are good. I'm shocked those words even came out of my mouth. They should beat the hell out of Indiana this week and then face interstate rivals Sparty the following. I hope they lose both but I see them being 7-0 with Penn State coming to the Big House to determine who wins the Big Ten.
JUST MISSED THE CUT: BOISE STATE, HOUSTON, KANSAS, OKLAHOMA, NORTH CAROLINA
Just another reason why I am way too big of a pussy to play hockey. They get in knock out fights during preseason games. Good lord. It's a good thing those Canadians have universal health care.
Loyal Sportscrack shopper Joey McIntyre (yes, the New Kid on the Block buys stuff from us) has this new skit out making fun of all the Massholes out there....TEDDY WILLIAMS!!!!!!.....
This is what happens when you wear jerseys of old players who no longer play for your team. Roy Williams is a Cowboy now lady. Apparently she hasn't received the news yet. Or the fact that the Lions haven't won a game since 2007. I love it when the black guy at the end is telling her "You going to jail!" Oh sweet irony, a drunk white chick going to the slammer.
Even right wing nutbags can laugh at this. Hell, I laughed and I have had to pay out of pocket over $15,000 to put metal plates and screws in my left leg when I shattered it 4 years ago. Oh yeah, it also did a great job of messing up my credit score all because I lost my job 2 months before my accident. Universal health care sounds like a great idea to me. How else is Charlie Weis going to be able to afford another botched gastric bypass surgery? Think about the overweight coaches people and show a little heart.
Ray Lewis is the greatest linebacker to ever play the game. Ever. No argument. I value my life and you should to and just agree before Ray Ray finds you.
