THIS KID COULD START FOR NOTRE DAME RIGHT NOW

Seriously. Besides Manti Te'o their other linebackers have looked average at best. This kid could compete.

BRADY QUINN IS DATING OLYMPIC GYMNAST ALICIA SACRAMONE

Gee, I wonder why?

MATTHEW STAFFORD IS NOW A MAN...MAN...MANLY MAN

You can pretty much put anything with South Park music and I will post it. This could have been highlights of Adam Lambert sucking off some guy and as long as it had this badass song to it you can pretty much guarantee your sweet ass I'm posting it.

Via WithLeather

PETA CAN LICK MY BALLS

If you though PETA pissed you off before well then listen to this bullshit they are suggesting to Georgia Bulldogs athletic director Damon Evans...

People for Ethical Treatment of Animals has a suggestion for the University of Georgia, which is looking for a replacement for Uga VII, the Georgia Bulldog mascot who died last Thursday in Savannah:

PETA says the University should use what it calls an “animatronic dog,” or use a person in a costume. PETA has sent its suggestion via e-mail to University of Georgia Athletic Director Damon Evans. The PETA e-mail follows…

In the wake of the untimely death of the University of Georgia’s (UGA) bulldog mascot, Uga VII, PETA has asked the school’s athletic director, Damon M. Evans, to replace the mascot with an animatronic dog–or to rely solely on a costumed mascot–instead of using another real bulldog. Bulldogs are prone to breathing difficulties, hip dysplasia, heart disorders, and other congenital ailments, and acquiring a dog from a breeder perpetuates the animal overpopulation crisis while causing another dog waiting in an animal shelter to be condemned to death.

Replace UGA with a robotic dog? Are you fucking kidding me? What do these people smoke? I really wish we could lock up those crazy PETA bastards and feed them to Michael Vick's pitbulls.

BREAKING NEWS: JIMMY CLAUSEN PUTS ANOTHER BLACK EYE ON THE NOTRE DAME PROGRAM

No it's not breaking news and no he isn't literally putting a black eye on the Notre Dame football program. I just wanted to write the headline for shits and giggles. I actually feel bad for Jimmy Clausen. People shit on him for the way he committed to Notre Dame at the College Football Hall of Fame but ever since then he has gone out of his way to prove he is worth the hype. The only person who didn't live up to their enormous overrated hype was Charlie Weis. It baffles me with the amount of elite talent that Notre Dame possesses on the offensive side of the ball that the Fighting Irish rank 45th in scoring offense. Absolutely fucking ridiculous. Clausen has had a Heisman like year in terms of stats and comeback wins and yet if he loses this week at Stanford he will have a 16-18 record at Notre Dame as the starting quarterback. And to think Charlie Weis thinks Jimmy "may be the greatest player in Notre Dame history" according to John Walters and you can see why Weis is mostly talk with little substance. It wasn't Jimmy's fault that Weis made all these promises and didn't deliver. Maybe the fan was just sending a message to Weis through Clausen. Shameful to say the least. I'm going to be in Stanford this Saturday for the game. I will be cheering my ass off one final time for head coach Charlie Weis and the boys like I always do but I can honestly say that I can not wait to see Weis and Clausen in the NFL next year. It's time for their era to end and a new coach with a plan to bring optimism back into the program.

BRETT FAVRE LOVES HIS TINY WRANGLER JEANS

It takes balls of steel to wear tiny jeans like Brett Favre does. That is why he is a Hall of Famer and we are just witnesses.

URBAN MEYER NOT COMING TO NOTRE DAME...FOR NOW

For the delusional fans like myself who think Urban Meyer might leave Florida and return to Notre Dame to help them return to respectability, well, sorry, Urban stomped and crapped on that scenario today...

GAINESVILLE, Fla. (AP) -- Florida coach Urban Meyer says he plans to coach the Gators "as long as they'll have me."

With rumors swirling about Charlie Weis' future at Notre Dame, Meyer squashed any potential speculation about leaving Gainesville for South Bend.

Meyer's news conference Monday was his most emotional in five seasons at Florida, with the coach having to pause and compose himself several times while talking about quarterback Tim Tebow and other seniors' final home game Saturday against rival Florida State.

Meyer also said he believes Tebow could coach Florida down the road.

I've contacted a few of my ND contacts, so called "insiders" you could say whose family members have buildings named after them on Notre Dame campus and whom had some direct knowledge when Charlie Weis was hired and when his contract was renegotiated in 2005. They have absolutely no idea what is going on right now with the coaching search. ND Athletic Director Jack Swarbrick is keeping everything to himself right now. He isn't leaking shit. So anybody other than Swarbrick that goes on a message board or proclaims they know who the next coach is going to be is full of shit. Only Swarbrick knows which coaches he is going to contact and try to bring in and right now he will not let it become a media fiasco like former AD/dipshit Kevin White did with the Ty Willingham hire and fire.

Listen, I want Urban Meyer as much as anybody. He is the perfect coach for Notre Dame. He is a proven winner but he isn't coming right now. He has it made in Gainesville and his family is extremely comfortable there. Would you want to leave Florida right now on the verge of competing for a third National Title in 4 years to go to Northern Indiana? I didn't think so.

If I had to place my money on a guy who will get the job it is Brian Kelly. Kelly is interested and don't believe all the BS about past transgressions that won't let him get the offer at a school like Notre Dame. Hopefully Swarbrick gets him signed and delivered by the middle of next week. But then again the only person who really knows who the best pick for head football coach at Notre Dame is Swarbrick.

ANOTHER REASON TO FEEL BAD FOR DEREK JETER: MINKA KELLY

Seriously, I feel bad for the guy. First he has to deal with winning his 5th World Series ring and now he has to lay out in the sun with his girlfriend Minka Kelly ("Friday Night Lights" actress) while vacationing in St. Barts. Tough life for Jeter. I feel for him.

/wipes tears away with old Baltimore Orioles hat

CARMEN ELECTRA WANTS YOUR ATTENTION

Granted she gets the attention all the time but why no nudity Carmen? She has already done Playboy. This PR video should help put her back into shitty Hollywood films. She should just go full out and start doing porn and stop wasting our time.

STONERS UNITE: THE FREAK WINS ANOTHER CY YOUNG

And who said marijuana was a gateway drug? Gateway to back-to-back Cy Youngs, money out of your ass, and your pick of any female fan you want a night with sounds like a hell of a drug to me. Congratulations go out to Tim "The Freak" Lincecum for winning yet another Cy Young. He deserved it. And to think the Baltimore Orioles passed on him in the 2006 MLB Draft because they had questions about his size and work ethic for fucking Billy Rowell whom has proved to be nothing more than a lazy pothead of wasted baseball talent. Brilliant move by the front office there.

RIP UGA VII

At the ripe age of 4 years old UGA VII went down with a heart attack yesterday. The famous English bulldog might be laid to rest tomorrow during the Kentucky game. Let's hope for Georgia's sake Willie Martinez joins UGA in not roaming the sidelines anymore. At least UGA could lick his balls correctly.

RIP UGA VII.

Also our condolences go out to Chris Spielman and his family and friends. Yesterday his wife Stefanie lost her long battle with breast cancer. If you feel like contributing to her fund please click here which goes straight to breast cancer research. Hopefully someday we can beat this awful disease and any little contribution can help. RIP Stefanie, you will not be forgotten.

ERIN DREWES SHOWS OFF HER GATOR PRIDE

TOTALPROSPORTS has pictures of Florida Gators alum Erin Drewes (aka Tebow internet girl) whose picture with Tebow exploded all over the internet. She was presumably his girlfriend but that was never the case according to Erin...

We are acquaintances through mutual friends and we would see each other here and there. We were standing together talking at a party at U of F and that’s when the now-infamous picture was taken. I was never dating Tim Tebow, nor was I ever his girlfriend! I’m convinced the picture must have been photoshopped—my breasts certainly are not that big!

Don't you worry about that Erin, we will be the judge of that.

BETWEEN TWO FERNS WITH ZACH GALIFIANAKIS

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis from Between Two Ferns

"Does anyone ever tell you, you seem like you are the black Byron Allen?"

TERRY BRADSHAW KNOWS HIS FOOTBALL

Extra Mustard points out this video from Sunday of FOX blowhard Terry Bradshaw making one of his useless predictions while everybody laughs for no apparent reason. Seriously, how do people watch these pregame shows? It's like trying to watch Dane Cook attempting to be funny. Fucking brutal. But not nearly as brutal as that shitfest called Monday Night Football last night. That was some of the worst NFL football I have ever seen. The Cleveland Browns should just move again. That franchise is so ass backwards it's not even funny anymore. Eric Mangini is a fucking moron. You want to know why their offense can't score it's not just on the QB (although I will admit Brady Quinn looked pretty bad last night) it's because you don't stick with one guy. You have Cribbs lining up at QB. You have all these bullshit motions trying to fool the defense. You really think you are going to fool a defense led by Ray Lewis? GTF out of here. The Ravens looked like complete shit too. I thought before the season started that they had a legit shot of going to the Super Bowl. They look horrible right now and beating Cleveland doesn't put roses on their pooh pooh performance.

From watching Notre Dame tank another season to seeing Michael Turner go down with a high ankle strain and Matty Ice throw yet another crucial INT to the Ravens looking like the Bengal's bitches it has been a tough football season for myself. If you would have told me Notre Dame, the Atlanta Falcons and the Baltimore Ravens would all have mediocre to bad seasons before the season started I would have called you Terry Bradshaw. Fuck it. At least the Atlanta Hawks and Thrashers are playing inspired ball/puck.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL'S MOST ELECTRIFYING PLAYER: GOLDEN TATE

My mancrush for Golden grows every time he touches the ball. Notre Dame hasn't had a player with his speed and balance since Rocket was torching defenses. Golden will be missed big time when he leaves early for the NFL Draft. Whoever gets him is getting the next Steve Smith/Hines Ward. He would look great in an Atlanta Falcons uniform.

HAVE YOU SEEN SARAH JESSICA PARKER'S NEW FLICK?

I'm sorry but she is just not aging well at all. Look at those fucking hands. Creepy ya know.

YOU CAN CROSS JON GRUDEN OFF THE ND LIST

FROM THE BIG LEAD
comes this statement from ESPN PR:

“Jon Gruden has agreed to an exclusive multi-year agreement with the company. In addition to his MNF role alongside play-by-play commentator Mike Tirico and analyst Ron Jaworski, Gruden will appear on ESPN’s NFL Draft and Super Bowl week coverage, among other platforms, and he will call the 2010 NFL Pro Bowl in South Florida on January 31, 2010. Gruden will serve as an analyst for ESPN Radio’s 2010 Rose Bowl and BCS title game broadcasts.”

Honestly I'm kind of happy this happened now. I'm not convinced Gruden would be a great college coach. What this should tell Notre Dame athletic director Jack Swarbrick is he needs to make a move immediately. Everyone knows that Charlie Weis days at Notre Dame are over. Why leave it up in the air? If I were him I would fire him immediately and start looking for a new coach. Make Corwin Brown the interim head coach and burn up the phone lines while Notre Dame finishes the season beating UCONN then getting trounced by Stanford. Your first three calls go to Urban Meyer's agent. You see if there is any interest and you offer him the world. Highest paid salary. Bonuses galore for him and his assistants. Essentially you open a door and offer him this...

JUCO transfers are now allowed. An endless support for what Urban thinks is right including letting in some kids that wouldn't normally be allowed in. The support structure is so great at Notre Dame when it comes to academics with their student-athletes that it shouldn't be too big of a risk allowing players in who don't have the greatest GPA in the world.

If Urban refuses the job then you call Brian Kelly's agent. Offer him the same incentive package. Kelly is basically Urban Meyer 2.0. I have a hard time believing Kelly would refuse the job. But the point is you need to move fast Swarbrick. No waiting like ND did with Ty Willingham and letting him finish the season before looking for a new coach. You snooze you lose.

JAMAR WALL KNOCKS OUT ZAC ROBINSON

This is why your parents didn't want you to play football when you were little. Oklahoma State's QB Zac Robinson is absolutely leveled to China on this hit by Texas Tech's Jamar Wall. The result: a fumble and two concussions. Vegetative state in their late 50's outlook just went up tremendously.

DAN MARINO SAYS NAUGHTY WORD

NOT QUALIFIED TO COMMENT has this excellent half time analysis video by Hall of Famer Dan Marino on CBS yesterday. He drops the S word by accident. It must have been those shitty Isotoner gloves he was trying to get off.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND FOLKS!

Can you play golf in a bikini?
by diggy20

Clearly I was thinking of my loyal readers when I posted this Asian bikini girl absolutely stroking the ball so I wanted to send you in this weekend with a bang. Literal. This week has been a personal roller coaster for my family since our cat went missing. Spare me the gay jokes with the cat, I'm a dog person but it doesn't mean I can't miss Wiley. Plus now I think a law firm out of Oak Brook, Illinois is trying to extort money from me. I will let you know how that goes since they obviously fucked with the wrong person. Email me if you have any questions or if you are a lawyer, would love to get some insight.

Peace!

Go Irish! Go Jackets! Go Dawgs! And most importantly: Go Beer!


Video courtesy of WithLeather