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I was bored last night and was up late watching Taboo on the NatGeo Channel and they were talking about drugs and prostitution being two of the most socially untolerated topics in our world. I'm sorry but they ain't got nothing on Monique's legs. Those things howl at the night waiting to eat their young. The guy with her has to be fucked up in the head. It's one thing to be a chubby chaser but the Wolverine legs are just completely frowned upon...
I'm going to go brush my teeth now and bathe in some vinegar while I cry myself to passing out for posting these pictures.
WWTDD
Since it is Martin Luther King Day I figured it was sort of appropriate to show you how a certain coach who wears Gator's colors can present "I have a dream" pitch to stud defensive tackles. From GamecockCentral.com Blog comes this interesting story of Florida head coach Urban Meyer pulling the old religion/God card on Philly DT Shariff Floyd right before Floyd was set to pick Ohio State and instead went with the Gators:
“Sharrif was really confused and put a call into Coach Meyer. When they spoke Coach Meyer told him that he had a ‘dream’ the night before, and that Coach Meyer saw himself on the sideline coaching Sharrif. Told him that is was a "message from God that I should come back and coach, as I guess if it’s my time to die, I'd rather die on the sidelines coaching you than anywhere else in the world.
"Sharrif talked to us the next day and said Ohio State is great and all, but Coach Meyer said he would DIE for me. That's pretty intense. From that day on Sharrif mainly kept to himself. But that was the turning point in my eyes."
I will be the first to admit I don't even watch these late night tv shows regularly. With that being said I do know who is funny and who is not. Jimmy Kimmel and Conan O'brien are smart, witty, and funny. Jay Leno is the exact opposite. Jimmy Fallon is a hyperactive kid that everybody feels sorry for and I guess for some reason they decided to employ him. Fallon seems like a nice kid. Leno seems like a dick.
The point being is dick's usually win out in the end over the nice guy. Conan is leaving and Leno is replacing him. Leno pulled a Kiffin. Great to see Kimmel put Leno in his place. The shitter. Period.
We got another new design inspired by an old face back in a familiar place. Continuing the Tradition of winning at all costs comes our brand new "CHEAT ON! IN LANE WE TRU$T" shirt. This vintage feel and look soft cotton tee shirt is sure to be the hit at any tailgate party or hanging out with your friends. It's definitely a conversation starter as anyone can attest to who has worn our shirts in the past.
Only $17, order your Cheat On! t-shirt today. Shipping will start next week.
Texas defensive coordinator Will Muschamp and Air Force head coach Troy Calhoun both turned down lucrative offers from Tennessee AD Michael Hamilton to become the Vol's new head coach according to multiple reports. Muschamp apparently is content with being the coach-in-waiting at Texas and Calhoun loves the weather in Colorado. Moving along in their search the next guy who appears to be on the radar is current Duke head coach David Cutcliffe.
Cutcliffe was the offensive coordinator for Tennessee twice under the Phil Fulmer regime and had success at Ole Miss as a head coach leading them to a Cotton Bowl victory with Eli Manning under center. Cutcliffe's claim to fame is coaching both Eli and Peyton while in college. To say Tennessee would be ecstatic with this hire would be on par with me sitting through a marathon of American Idol episodes without throwing my beer at the television and cursing at God for ever creating a show so awful. Vol's Nation want a sexy hire and Cutcliffe just isn't it.
The best candidate I can think of off the top of my head is Temple's Al Golden. Golden can recruit and with the best of them which he showed at Virginia when he was a defensive coordinator and led Temple to a 9 win season this year and their first bowl game in 30 years. The guy can flat out coach but he is supposedly the hot name to replace JoePa at his alma mater Penn State when he either stops coaching or croaks.
So Tennessee fans should prepare themselves for Cutcliffe. Trust me it could be worse. Just prepare yourselves for 8 to 9 win seasons max in the near future.
The freshman sensation has taken over college hoops. Now you can get The Great Wall Balls to the Wall shirt at SPORTSCRACK.COM.
JOHN
WALL
THE GREAT WALL
11
KENTUCKY BASKETBALL
"I did not have contact with those recruits!"
Whatever makes you sleep better at night buddy. Have you ever seen an introductory press conference more heated and questioned? This is going to be a marriage of hell for USC and Lane Kiffin. Fantastic.
This black lab is having the time of his life chasing melons down in Brazil with model Nicole Bahls(WWTDD.com). Lucky fucking dog. Not only can it lick it's own balls and shit where ever he damn well pleases but he gets the opportunity to play "catch" with Nicole. I just showed my dog Soco these pictures. He farted a balloon full of jealousy and disgust.
Could you imagine living the life that Matt Kemp has presented in front of him? I'm not gay as far as I know but the guy is a good looking dude who is young, rich, plays centerfield for the Los Angeles Dodgers and is literally smack dab in the middle of a valley full of excellent Hollywood tail. Of course he is banging Rihanna. Why wouldn't he? If I were him I would be out nailing every single female till my dick fell off. Fortunately for myself I'm not nearly as pretty or rich as Matt Kemp. Fuck.
Go ahead and grab all the Pop star ass you want Matt...
Now available for purchase is the "FU LAME KIFFIN" shirt from Sportscrack.com. Tell Monte's little son how you feel about him leaving Knoxville for the West Coast Cheaters. This shirt idea was sent in by numerous people who bleed orange and white.
FU LAME KIFFIN SHIRT $17
Burning mattresses...
And running through the streets of Knoxville with pitch forks and torches demanding the head of Lane Kiffin...
This just goes to prove they take their college football serious down in the South. Since when did Tennessee become a stepping stone for USC? God I can't wait to see Lane Kiffin fail miserably at USC. Tennessee fans should feel grateful today that the wolf has taken off his sheepskin and left. He would have done it either next year or the year after no doubt. The guy has 12 career victories to his name (5 with the Oakland Raiders, 7 with the Vols) and some people act like this guy is the second coming of Pete Carroll. Come on people. Wake the fuck up.
Ah gotcha! Instead of leaving with a sliver of dignity and class Lane Kiffin and his staff told his Tennessee players good-bye while in the process tried to convince the Tennessee recruits, including the early enrollment players, to come with him to USC. Talk about having some fucking balls. Kiffin and his staff might be the most shady recruiters of all-time. I'm sure he promised them houses for them and their parents with free rent, cars, money, and the assurance that classes would be limited to Ballroom Dancing and Spring Practice 101.
Take a look at this video of an interview with John Brice of Volquest.com to get a feeling of what was going down last night...
Urban Meyer received a text tonight while in attendance of the Kentucky-Florida basketball game. I think he likes the Lane Kiffin news...
Tennessee fans are taking the whole "Lane Kiffin leaving us to go to Los Angeles" news really good. Check out this classic video of a Volunteers die hard going Southern on his ass...
I will have more on this shitstorm tomorrow. I can't stop laughing. USC and Tennessee both royally fucked in the same day. 2010 just keeps on getting better. CHEAT ON!!!
So far Southern Cal athletic director Mike Garrett is doing an excellent job in nailing down candidates to replace Pete the Cheat Carroll for the head coaching job. Here are his candidates and how they have responded according to confidential sources of SportsCrack:
CANDIDATE #1: MIKE RILEY
FUCK OFF!!!
CANDIDATE #2: JACK DEL RIO
NO ENTIENDO!!!
CANDIDATE #3: LANE KIFFIN
THE PAC-10 IS FOR PUSSIES, NO THANKS KIND SIR!!!
CANDIDATE #4: STEVE SARKISIAN
HAHAHAHAHAHA, DUDE, WE FUCKING BEAT YOU! NO WAY AM I LEAVING UDUB FOR YOUR SINKING SHIP!!!!
CANDIDATE #5: TY WILLINGHAM
HOW FAR AWAY IS PEBBLE BEACH? KIDDING, SIGN ME UP!
Steroid abuser Mark McGwire finally admitted today to the AP he used steroids for several years while playing professional baseball. In other related news the sky is blue and snow is white. Here is his official statement:
"Now that I have become the hitting coach for the St. Louis Cardinals, I have the chance to do something that I wish I was able to do five years ago.
I never knew when, but I always knew this day would come. It's time for me to talk about the past and to confirm what people have suspected. I used steroids during my playing career and I apologize. I remember trying steroids very briefly in the 1989/1990 off season and then after I was injured in 1993, I used steroids again. I used them on occasion throughout the '90s, including during the 1998 season.
I wish I had never touched steroids. It was foolish and it was a mistake. I truly apologize. Looking back, I wish I had never played during the steroid era.
During the mid-'90s, I went on the DL seven times and missed 228 games over five years. I experienced a lot of injuries, including a ribcage strain, a torn left heel muscle, a stress fracture of the left heel, and a torn right heel muscle. It was definitely a miserable bunch of years and I told myself that steroids could help me recover faster. I thought they would help me heal and prevent injuries, too.
I'm sure people will wonder if I could have hit all those home runs had I never taken steroids. I had good years when I didn't take any and I had bad years when I didn't take any. I had good years when I took steroids and I had bad years when I took steroids. But no matter what, I shouldn't have done it and for that I'm truly sorry.
Baseball is really different now -- it's been cleaned up. The commissioner and the players' association implemented testing and they cracked down, and I'm glad they did.
I'm grateful to the Cardinals for bringing me back to baseball. I want to say thank you to Cardinals owner Mr. DeWitt, to my GM, John Mozeliak, and to my manager, Tony La Russa. I can't wait to put the uniform on again and to be back on the field in front of the great fans in Saint Louis. I've always appreciated their support and I intend to earn it again, this time as hitting coach. I'm going to pour myself into this job and do everything I can to help the Cardinals hitters become the best players for years to come.
After all this time, I want to come clean. I was not in a position to do that five years ago in my congressional testimony, but now I feel an obligation to discuss this and to answer questions about it. I'll do that, and then I just want to help my team."
This Baltimore Ravens fan lost a bet in which he promised to run through an electric fence for his labrador if the Patriots lost the game. I guess he figured Tom Brady's 23-0 record at home would hold up in Gillette Stadium. Deadspin has the video of the now famous face of a Baltimore Ravens football fanatic gone wild. Take a look.
Hopefully this week he bets to put it on his nutsack if they beat the Colts. They need the mojo.
