In case anybody was wondering where disgraced ESPN baseball announcer Steve Phillips had been hiding well I think we found him.
Still motorboating the big girls too.
Oh yeah, this DJ is now an overnight internet sensation. Next wedding I go to I will be severely disappointed not to see this guy there banging this shit out of milktits.
The Chicago Tribune has a "source" close to the Notre Dame football program with details being worked out to renew a heated rivalry with the University of Miami for a game in 2012 at Soldier Field in Chicago.
FUCKING AWESOME!
Back in the 80's and early 90's it would be difficult to find a more tumultuous rivalry between two teams than the "Catholics Vs. Convicts" games played in Notre Dame Stadium and at the old Orange Bowl. Notre Dame and Miami hated each other with a passion that was so deep it often spilled out into fights even before the game started. Both programs were proverbial "powerhouses" during those days with rosters exploding with college football greats and future NFL stars with contrasting styles. The Notre Dame program with Lou Holtz at the command was portrayed as the lily white Catholic school with outstanding moral values who stood for the greater good of America by the media. The Miami program on the other hand with Jimmy Johnson and Dennis Erickson were the thugs from down south who represented things that were morally corrupt during the time. Of course these were fed to the public by the media and I ate it up back in those days.
To give you a feel for the energy of these games here is an intro clip from CBS back in 1988...
Notre Dame went on to win the game 31-30 and helped stake claim to it's last National Championship. The next season Miami won the head-to-head matchup at the Orange Bowl and went on to claim the "Team of the 80's" with another NC. They haven't played each other since 1990 when Notre Dame beat Miami thanks to an effective defense that created a ton of Hurricanes turnovers.
If in fact the game is finalized it will hopefully represent a reemergence of the two programs. Both Notre Dame and Miami have struggled for years to stake claim to anything remotely close to "National Championship" talk but both have the resources to return to glory. Brian Kelly brings a proven track record of winning every where he goes including leading Cincinnati to an undefeated regular season last year and should have the Irish hitting on all cylinders by 2012 which could be Dayne Crist and Manti Te'o final season in the blue and gold. Randy Shannon contract was just renewed for 4 years and he has helped clean up a Miami program that was hit by sanctions.
And if you were wondering if there will be a shirt done for this game you can already stop asking. Of course there will be. We are already working on designs. Nonlicensed ones so you can expect some good shit.
And it's just another reason to hate the guy. I mean I get celebrity marriages. They are basically shams to cover up homoerotic behavior or for publicity purposes and clearly Brooklyn hit a two arm forehand with Roddick. But it's time to quit the games Brooklyn. You know and I know Roddick is out there banging whatever smiles at him. Look at you. You just look unhappy and alone...
It's time to face the truth and ditch Roddick before he goes all Tiger on you. You don't need that embarrassment and you don't deserve it. Come to the SportsCrack and smell this beautiful handkerchief. Ignore the raw ether I call love. I know it's a funny smell but you will grow to love it...
Pictures courtesy of WWTDD
Guys are really simple when it comes to what we like to look at and Playboy has been cashing in for over 50 years. The articles are what sell the magazine right? I love to see the reactions of the 3-D pictorial of centerfold Hope Dworaczyk. It's like they have never seen boobs in real life. "Woah, they look real!" "Daddy likey!" "I got get me some of that!" "I would so drug her and put her in my cellar!" are a just a few of the random things I heard in this video. Great job by Hugh Hefner to change it up this year. This should help sell a couple hundred more copies.
Oh and in case you are wondering how this is sports related well Hope use to "date" Jason Kidd. Supposedly they were dating back when Kidd was still married. Which gives me reason to post these pictures...
If I were a high school senior I would be tearing up that application to Harvard or Notre Dame or whatever bullshit school that doesn't have Undie Run. Would you rather go to some place that is cold and full of fat people or do you want to party with future strippers/Tiger Woods mistresses?
Uh huh...that is what I thought. God Bless ASU.
Video HT: BarstoolSports
HAHA...Awesome.
This is what Tiger needs to do to get his shit back. Get a divorce first. Give Elin everything you got. Start from scratch.
Second thing he needs to do is to start banging whores again. We know you aren't a Saint Tiger. Or even a Fake Phil. Embrace the dark side and run with it.
Third thing is he needs to hire me as his caddy. I'll take 5% or less. I could be your ultimate wingman. Call me.
Houston Texans linebacker Brian Cushing was suspended for the first four games in 2010 due to a test he took last September, league sources told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter.
Cushing appealed the test in February and lost -- and was suspended this month by the NFL. It is unclear when he was informed that he failed the test.
Cushing was named The Associated Press' Defensive Rookie of the Year and went to the Pro Bowl in 2009.
Cushing was hounded by rumors of performance-enhancing drug use before he became a pro, but the Texans were undeterred. They said then they found no truth to those rumors in their draft preparations.
On Friday the Braves managed to hit rock bottom in terms of hitting by managing 2 fucking hits all game against some dinosaur named Jamie Moyer. Without the J-Hey Kid in the lineup the Braves are a collection of neanderthals aka Zane Smiths out there.
Team Batting Average: .232 (27th of 30)
Runs Scored: 121 (25th of 30)
Home Runs: 18 (27th of 30)
RBIs: 114 (25th of 30)
Slugging Percentage: .337 (28th of 30)
They have been sitting in timeout for the last 5 years with Terry Pendleton as their hitting coach and it continues to get worse. Bobby Cox or Frank Wren don't have the balls to fire him because somehow they think their hitters will either come around or it's not entirely TP's fault. I can hear the laughter now. It's a collection of Kelly Johnson, Adam Laroche, and Andruw Jones cracking up with the mere thought of TP as the hitting coach. I loved Pendleton as a player but I really can't stand him as a "coach."
There is some thought among sportswriters in Atlanta that the only reason why Pendleton hasn't been fired is because he will be Cox's replacement next year. Fuck. It's on par with FSU naming Jimbo Fisher as successor to another Bobby, Bowden. It's going to get bad. Real bad. Just fire TP now. The season can still be saved.
You can have all your talk about Kobe or Lebron or even Dwight being the face of the NBA but I don't want to hear it. When it comes to Canadian white point guards none of those fools can match up with the Sun's Steve Nash. Look at that face. It's the face of an angel. On acid.
In honor of Nash leading the Suns to a sweep of the San Antonio Spurs I demand all SportsCrack heads out there to Netflix the outrageous Canadian movie "Trailer Park Boys-Countdown to Liquor Day." If you haven't seen these guys in action you are seriously missing out. Bubbles is my hero. Here is a little sneak peak of the film that never made it to American theaters because we are too fucking stupid to handle Canadian redneck humor...
Image HT: Extra Mustard
Angus beef and beer smell...ahhhh....it's amazing how far feminine products have come these days...
Ohio State would like to be known as the queen of horrific music videos with this "Glee" inspired flash mob dance....
Wow! The gayness factor was through the roof on this one but what did you expect, it's Columbus. I still think the Notre Dame one is more embarrassing. The Midwest schools should just do what they do best: lose big time in BCS Bowl games.
Last night I watched this program on Lawrence Taylor and Tara Conner (former Miss USA who tested positive for drugs) talking about their battles with substance abuse and I was thinking to myself "good they finally kicked their demons." Talk about an all-time jinx. Last night LT was busted in New York City for rape of a 15-year-old girl...
Police in New York arrested former Giants LB Lawrence Taylor and accused him of raping a 15-year-old girl on Thursday.
Taylor was held after being arrested by Ramapo, N.Y., police and charged with third-degree rape.
The allegations stemmed from an incident at the Holiday Inn in Suffern, N.Y., Ramapo Detective Lt. Brad Weidel told the Journal News.
Ramapo police supervisor Christopher St. Lawrence told the Journal News that the victim was a runaway from the Bronx and that she had been assaulted.
"She was a runaway since March and there was a pimp involved," St. Lawrence told the paper. "She got punched in the face. We're not sure who did it."
You can always rely on the government to fuck up something so simple even if it's a spelling of a name. Bobby Cox was honored yesterday on Capitol Hill with a cake that read "Thanks for 50 Great Years Bobby Cocks!" DC should be honoring Cox after all the Nationals seem to get half their win total versus the Bravos. Maybe one of these days Bobby will wake up and realize your leadoff batters shouldn't have the worst on base percentage on the team and your best hitter shouldn't be batting 6th in the lineup. Nah! Eat your cake buddy.
Image HT: D.C. Sports Bog
Baseball lost a legend yesterday as long time Detroit Tigers announcer and Hall of Famer Ernie Harwell passed at the age of 92. Harwell is an icon in Detroit and will be missed dearly. Ernie goes out as a class act and will surely be impossible to replace. RIP Ernie Harwell.
Fucking awesome. Brings tears to these eyes to see some douchebag Phillies fan getting tasered in front of 40,000 plus screaming maniacs in Philadelphia. They should make this a new sport. It would be like the 8 seconds on a bull. The person who lasts the longest on the field at Citizen's Bank Park before getting tasered wins season tickets or Chase Utley's jock strap.
In case you were wondering the kid being tasered is a teenager and is going to a school we can all relate to...
Wayne Consalvi told the newspaper that his son was not drinking and he wasn't on drugs. Steve Consalvi is "a real good student, heading to Penn State," his father told the Philadelphia Daily News.
I have nothing against Arkansas people. Why would I? But why is this "guy" and I use the term loosely just hanging out in his truck like it's nothing after being thrown around by a tornado in it? The only reason I can think of is he probably has no pants on. That is the great thing about Arkansas. Pants are optional.
Video HT: BarStoolSports
I couldn't let you go into the weekend thinking of that garbage Notre Dame music video so I present "Chica Bomb." It's the perfect elixir for the soul as we head into a great weekend. And by soul I mean boner.
Peace!
I could ramble on for days about horses running around a track at ridiculous speeds but that would be boring. Instead I offer you some inside footage of The Kentucky Derby you won't be seeing tomorrow on television.
First we have a Southern Belle who loves her Mint Juleps (the official drink of the Derby)...
The infield is where the finest mud wrestling in Kentucky becomes legendary...
You have to bring the essentials to the Derby: Weed and toilet paper...
Then of course you got the infield Drunk slap off at 3 pm...
And then the race itself which is a time honored tradition. I'm talking about the Porta Potty Race of course...
