Dan Connolly... my hero

Who says lineman can't run?!?!? Mr. Connolly, I love you, you're my hero. Check out the video on YouTube.

Greinke to the.... Brewers?!?!

MLB Photo

What's up sports fans? I hope all of you are having a great holiday season. I bet none of you are having happier holidays than a Mr. Carl Crawford, Mr. Jason Werth, or Mr. Cliff Lee, that is unless you are Frank Wren or Doug Melvin. Of course the headlines will be full of the new $100 million men, but what about the genius trades by Wren and Melvin this off season?

AP Photo/John Bazemore

Let's start with Wren. Everyone in Atlanta has given Wren the WTF face at one point or another. Let's be honest, who would've thought picking up Troy Glaus and Eric Hinske would send the Braves to their first post season in 4 years? Wren also picked up a serviceable Melky Cabrera and lefty reliever Mike Dunn for Javier Vasquez who did what with the Yankees? Granted, Wren also engineered the Rick Ankiel and Kyle Farnsworth deals, but who can blame the guy for taking a chance? To follow up last year's off season, Wren must have felt the Marlins got a directive from Santa Claus himself by practically giving away Dan Uggla, one of the most offensively talented second base in history. The Braves will miss Omar Infante, but the buy low sell high model was nothing but sheer genius. The Braves lost Dunn (see above) and Infante, a career utility infielder, to shore up the one thing the Braves have been missing since the glory days of Andruw Jones, a clean up hitter. Martin Prado was more than willing to move to left and will eventually take over for Chipper Jones when Chipper soon becomes the hitting coach of the Braves (just a personal prediction). What's amazing about the trade is that the Braves essentially will, according to rumors, get Uggla for 5 years at around $60 million, which is the same yearly salary the Marlins were offering, and did not give up a single one of their top 25 prospects to pick up a 30 HR, 80 RBI guy who has more than excelled at Turner Field. To those who are criticizing signing Uggla long term, take a look at his numbers, only Albert Pujols has hit more home runs in the last five years and are first all time for a middle infielder in his first five season, ahead of Ernie Banks by 18 HRs. If the Marlins are ready to give away Hanley Ramirez, I'm sure the Braves will be more than willing to send Brooks Conrad and Christian Martinez or Peter Moylan to the Marlins. Good luck to you Mr. Jeffrey Loria. I can't wait to see Uggla put a stake in the Marlins' hearts in 2011.

AP Photo

Doug Melvin also deserves a genius label for his latest deal. The guy goes out and gets Shaun Marcum, a legitimate #2 pitcher, and then trades a few prospects for a true ace to compliment the young and impressive Yovanni Gallardo. If the Brewers had a strong catcher, they'd be straight out scary. With Ricky Weeks, Prince Fielder, Ryan Braun, Corey Hart, the emergence of Casey McGeHee, and Carolos Gomez, the Brewers are a preseason contender. Of course the Brewers gave up a talented but unproven Lorenzo Cain and a potential future phenom that is Jeremy Jeffress, but the Brewers also improved by adding Yuniesky Betancourt and sending Alcides Escobar to the Royals in the deal. The only positive spin for the Royals is that Dayton Moore proved to be a great asset in Atlanta and has taken the Braves' model of building a world class farm system with talent behind talent behind talent to ensure that the future is bright, but losing Greinke and signing Melky Cabrera and Jeff Francouer aren't exactly moves that get you recognized as GM of the year. For Mr. Moore, I hope I eat my words, but at least he won't have to face Greinke in the near future like Loria will face Uggla in Florida.

What other moves have been surprising this off season?

DESEAN JACKSON GAME WINNING PUNT RETURN (TECMO BOWL STYLE)

Brilliant job by the Giants kicking a line drive punt to the NFL's fastest player in Desean Jackson. Genius. While the Eagles were scraping and clawing to pull out an improbable win the Atlanta Falcons were just doing what they do every week: another easy win while covering the spread. The Falcons are the best team in the NFL. They have become the model franchise. Tom Brady and Bill Belichick look in the mirror and wish they were Matt Ryan and Mike Smith.

Video HT: Frank V at UHND.com

YAY OR NAY: "I JUST HAD SEX" MUSIC VIDEO

It's got some strong cameos with Jessica Alba and Blake Lively playing the disgruntled girlfriend roles and tennis legend/brat John McEnroe making faces but I just don't know whether to laugh because it's funny or just pathetic. Sandberg nailed funny with Justin Timberlake a few years back with "Dick in the Box" but "I Just Had Sex" with Akon doesn't have the same rip roaring laugh factor. Oh well, fuck it. With that being said I hope you enjoyed the video. God knows I built it up for you.

SORRY

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I've been busy as shit. You know the usual? Drinking and passing out with my pants down to my god damn ankles. So I offer you these pictures of Yesica Toscanini who is apparently one of SI's new swimsuit models. Warms the heart doesn't it?

Hey if you are looking for some last minute steals on Christmas presents you should check out our Ebay page. We got Rudy and Montana autographed Notre Dame mini helmets, JoePa signed 16X20, Herschel Walker, Andrew Luck, Marcus Allen, Heisman stuff and other items starting at just $9.99.

For instance this Heisman Trophy Mini Helmet signed by 15 winners!

TWO UNBELIEVABLE WINNING SHOTS BOTH INVOLVING ANNAPOLIS, MD HIGH SCHOOL

I don't want to brag or anything but what is the big fucking deal? I was hitting these shots in 7th grade. I was the Larry Bird of Alpharetta hoops. Sure I didn't have a mullet or a rat tail but I could pretty much nail any shot from anywhere on the court. I could have been a contender people but in the end the sex, drugs, and booze won out when I reached high school. Ok just the drugs and booze but you get the picture.

MY THOUGHTS ON THE MIAMI AND FLORIDA HIRINGS

With the holidays in full swing and a newborn rocking my every second I haven't had time to reflect on the Will Muschamp to Florida and Al Golden to Miami hirings. Here are some rambling semi-hungover thoughts on both.

Will Muschamp: Right now I'm 50/50 on this. It could honestly go either way. I'm a little taken back that Muschamp is a UGA Grad and is now the head coach for their hated rivals in Gainesville but then again college football is a business. A very big one at that. Muschamp was probably the hottest coordinator/head coach in waiting. He was suppose to be Mack Brown heir apparent. Obviously it didn't work out that way and Texas was an utter disaster this season at 5-7. Muschamp couldn't take the blame because he was solely the defensive coordinator but then again I don't remember Texas off the top of my head ever having a dominant swarming defense. I do remember Alabama giving it to them pretty good last year in the BCS Championship game. I'm surprised Florida didn't go after Dan Mullen at Mississippi State. He would have been the perfect hire for the job as Urban's replacement. The last time Florida picked an assistant to replace a Swamp Legend it ended in disaster with two words that are now considered offensive in Gainesville: Ron Zook. I'm not saying Muschamp is the next Zook but I think Florida took a gamble giving a head coaching job for as high of a profile job as it currently is to a guy who has never proven it as the main man. For all I know Muschamp could be the next Nick Saban and maybe Mack Brown gave him a lot of head coaching duties this past season to groom him.

Grade: B-

Al Golden: This has the same feeling of when Georgia Tech got Paul Johnson from Navy. Golden is one of the best young up and coming coaches in college football. In fact he may be the best. Personally I wanted Miami to hire Jon Gruden because it was a sexy hire and it would have brought some flash and attention back to Coral Gables where it has been missing since the early part of this century. The thing is I wasn't sure if Gruden would have been successful coaching the college game. I have the exact opposite feeling with Golden. Golden was rumored to be the eventual coach at his alma mater Penn State whenever JoePa decided to hang up the coke bottles or croak on the sidelines. Golden was a d-coordinator at Virginia under George Welsh after being a grad assistant at Penn State. He improved the Cavaliers defense tremendously while in Charlottesville. They went from 108th overall in total defense to 18th. Their scoring defense improved by 10 points using his 3-4 scheme. In 2005 he was named Temple University head coach. He was the second youngest coach at the time. Temple is god awful at football. Their history and tradition didn't exist before Golden got there. In fact they were 3-31 during the three prior seasons before Golden arrived. He quickly turned it around with a 4-8 record in 2006 and then a 5-7 record in 2007. It might not seem a lot but already he had tripled their win total in two seasons. By his fourth season he got Temple to a bowl game with a 9-4 record and then this season led them to a 8-4 season. This was unheard of at Temple. Now in Miami I fully expect him to take advantage of the great recruiter he already was and put a border around all the South Florida recruits. Miami is already loaded with talent and Golden should be able to do what Randy Shannon couldn't do: win games. Lots of them. Miami better enjoy these next few seasons because it could be short especially if Golden does eventually go back to Happy Valley to replace JoePa. As much as I don't like Miami I'm looking forward to them winning again. College Football needs a good villian. A "CONVICT" if you say so. Golden will do great things in Coral Gables.

Grade: A++

FanPHuckingTastic

(AP Photo/Jeff Chiu)

I think I crapped myself when the news broke last night. Cliff Lee to the Phils may have created the best pitching rotation since, well since baseball was invented. Four of the top four pitchers now pitch for the same team. I'm being a little dramatic, but still. This move goes back to the Braves model of overloading a team with pitching to ensure the win. The difference is the Phillies have one of the most potent offenses in baseball. Ryan Howard, Chase Utley, Jimmy Rollins, Shane Victorino, and future superstar Dominic Brown to go with that rotation is simply unbelievable. I have to admit I did smile at the huge middle finger the Phillies just gave to the Yankees, but then realized the Braves are no longer the favorite to win the NL East and decided to throw up immediately. Is anyone else's head still spinning?!?!?

Let's look at this realistically. The Phillies rotation is simply amazing, but do the Braves still have a shot without adding a single player to their already tough line up? My answer may be a bit of a stretch, but yes. The Braves have a pretty solid pitching rotation themselves. Tim Hudson enjoyed a career season last year and has been a true ace since his days in Oakland, Derek Lowe remains a consistent top of the rotation guy, Jair Jurrjens (excluding injuries) has proven to be a young stud, and Tommy Hanson, the future ace of the staff, anchoring the rotation is not a pitching rotation to laugh at. If you look at our fifth starter, Mike Minor, I would be willing to argue that the Braves may have the second best rotation in baseball.

Further, if Chipper comes back healthy, a line up featuring Prado, Heyward, Chipper, McCann, Uggla, and Gonzo is not exactly a line up to take for granted. That's not even including a glimmer of hope that Freeman lives up to half of his billing. If you look at the possibility of McClouth returning to form or Schafer living up to expectations, the Braves 1 - 8 batters will be just as deadly as the Phillies.

Now let's consider the bullpen. There isn't a better bullpen in baseball than the Atlanta Braves. With Kimbrel and Venters anchoring and Marek coming up this year, the future still looks bright. The only thing the Braves could do is trade for an establish young center fielder or 3rd baseman, or better yet, talk Billy Wagner out of retirement.

If all other reasoning fails, the Braves only have to play the Phillies 15 times next season. I'll take 147 - 15 any year! Leave some comments and let me know what you think!

JOE PATERNO CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Joe Paterno apparently has a hard time hearing things. Try not to laugh while listening to this Steve Duemig podcast.

Big HT to UseDave

Legends and Leaders... LOLOL

The Big Ten's new logo (apparently)

I'm rolling on the floor. Excuse my SEC elitism, but really?!?!? The Big Ten can't even count the number of teams in the conference before the shake up, now they are splitting into two divisions and naming them "Legends" and "Leaders"? How about "Has Beens" and "Have Nots".

There has never been a conference more underachieving than the Big Ten. With names like Ohio
State, Penn State, Michigan, and Michigan State, you would think you'd be staring at powerhouse after powerhouse. Reality is that the rest of the nation looks at the Big Ten like a fun house. Let's face it, Joe Paterno is old, there's no other way to describe him, he's a figure head, Jim Tressell's nickname is "The Vest". Really?!?! What kind of Stan Lee character would "The Vest" be? I can only imagine an old guy in a Mr. Rogers sweater vest killing the world with kindness. Rich Rodriguez is no "Leader", much less a "Legend", unless you look at his epic fall from grace since being the "feel good" WVU coach who learned how to win. Little did we know, that too was all a scam.

The Big Ten hasn't been relevant in years. Some of you may argue that Ohio State is a powerhouse, but Ohio State plays a lower strength of schedule than Boise State who they were criticizing. Let's be realistic sports fans, the Big Ten is no longer Big and hasn't been Ten in years. Who's go two thumbs and still can't figure out why in the hell the Big Ten is still going to be called the Big Ten?!?!? THIS GUY!

Before I get too much backlash from the Big Ten fans of the world, please, go win a real game. Stop bragging about Ohio State never losing a game to a team from the state of Ohio. Seriously, the rest of the planet is over it.

Muschamp's a GAY-tor!!!

Photo Courtesy of Getty Images

Wow!?!?! What else do you say?!?! Will Muschamp, the ex-UGA safety and coach-in-waiting from the Texas Longhorns is succeeding Urban Meyer at Florida. While Muschamp deserves a pat on the back, I have to admit, I'm sad to see our two biggest rivals, yes I'm omitting GA Tech from the title of "biggest rival" until they learn how to beat UGA, coached by UGA grads. While it has to say something about the distinction of the UGA pedigree, Derek Dooley and Will Muschamp are now frienemies and Florida's Assistant AD is now UGA's AD... CRAZY TIMES!!!

To scare me even more, there have been rumors that Muschamp is going to pull Kirby Smart from Alabama. I'm in no way advocating for Richt to leave, but Smart is my one hope for UGA's next coach if Richt is not around in the next couple of years. While pulling Smart would be a genius move by Muschamp and Florida, I'm praying they can't pull it off.

It's going to be interesting to see a shift in mind set from offense to defense for the Gators. Florida has the atheletes, the recruiting base, and a hell of a recruiter as their head coach. The Gators are going to stay scary good for a long time if things work out. I'm not sold on the idea of "hot assistants" being able to perform at head coach consistently, but if anyone can do it, Muschamp can. The good news is that even the best head coaches have issues in their first year and with a shift in mind set and a new coaching staff being brought in, next year may be another tough year for Florida. The bad news for Dawgs fans like me, Florida's sun is still shining and it's going to shine brightly for years to come.

Stokesypants... YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BOY!

Yes, this blog is a sports blog, but every once in a while you are inspired and you have to share. A cheap promotion, maybe, a shameless promotion, definitely, but my boys deserve some props. Atlanta's own Stokeswood has been tearing it up in Atlanta for a few years now and while they are now tearing down Miami on a monthly basis, New York every once in a while, and the rest of the globe soon enough, Ole Stokesypants is stopping by their hometown of Newnan to do a show at the Brickhouse on Friday night. Anyone who reads this blog knows I have no shame in plugging whatever I damn well please so if you are into great music and want to have a great time in the Atlanta area, come check out Stokeswood Friday night. Trust me, it'll be well worth the drive and you can even poke fun at my "ridiculous" college picks to my face.

Until Friday, check out Stokeswood online at stokeswood.net, on iTunes, and soon to be in your hearts. Check out a couple previews of the guys rocking out, don't know about you, but my fist is pumping as you're reading this...

JETS ASSISTANT COACH PULLS A TOTAL DICK MOVE

I don't usually get too pissed off at sports, actually never mind I do, but this shit really irritated me. How in the fuck does this Jets assistant coach have the balls to pull a stunt like this? He should be castrated and kicked out of the country. Not only is this embarrassing to the Jets but it's a fucking disgrace. I hope the Jets go down the shitter and lose the rest of the way. Plus those dickheads cost me a clean sweep on my NFL picks today. If you are going to cheat so blatantly at least win the fucking game and help out my pockets. Fucking dicks!

METRODOME ROOF COLLAPSES

Just a wild guess here but I don't think they will be playing football tomorrow at the Metrodome.

NFL PICKS

Today is a great day to make some money on the NFL. We are getting down to the final stretch of the season towards the playoffs and teams are jockeying for home field advantage. Right now the Patriots and the Falcons are sitting in the driver's seat and will not be letting up because they know one slip up could cost them home field. That is why I am betting big on two road teams who just happen to be leading the NFL Power Rankings according to ESPN.com.

These odds come courtesy of our friends at NFL ODDS at BetUS:

New England Patriots (-3) at Chicago Bears
Yes I know the Patriots are coming off a short week after dismantling the Jets on Monday Night Football 45-3 and the Bears have had the extra day of rest but Tom Brady is going to carve up the Bears secondary. The Bears have been playing above and beyond this whole season and I think we are due for one of those Jay Cutler WTF was he thinking days when he throws about 3 picks. Take the Pats on the road.
Prediction: Patriots 28 Bears 17

Atlanta Falcons (-7) at Carolina Panthers
On paper this is a total mismatch and if it was in the Georgia Dome the Falcons would be favored by 15 points. The Falcons come in at 10-2 and like I said before they are not going to let up knowing they are almost unbeatable when it comes to their home field which they still need to clinch. The Panthers on the other hand are awful at 1-11 and have a rookie QB in Jimmy Clausen who might be having one of the worst statistical NFL seasons for a QB. The Falcons will come in focused and will punish the Panthers big time.
Prediction: Falcons 34 Panthers 13

Miami Dolphins at New York Jets (-5)
The Jets were humiliated Monday Night. It was a wakeup call for Rex Ryan and his team. They still have an outside chance of gaining a home game in the playoffs but they have to continue to win. The Dolphins have been a thorn in their side for decades but I don't think they will put up much of a fight.
Prediction: Jets 27 Dolphins 17

"THAT'S A SHITTY HOCKEY GOAL JOE"

You gotta love the honesty in the voice of hockey announcer Craig Laughlin. I honestly didn't think it was that shitty of a goal. I've seen shittier.

Video HT: TheBigLead

FUCK THIS COLD WEATHER, BAR RAFAELI TO THE RESCUE

It warmed me up. Got the blood flowing so to speak.

BUSTER OLNEY NAILS IT WITH THE ORIOLES ANGST

The last few days of the MLB Winter's Meetings have been exciting for this Orioles fan. They filled major holes in the infield by trading for Mark Reynolds and JJ Hardy and also resigned their closer Koji Uehara. But honestly I can not get too excited because the Red Sox signed Carl Crawford for a billion dollars after trading for Adrian Gonzalez. And the Yankees will probably sign Cliff Lee because like the Red Sox they overpay for everybody. ESPN'S Buster Olney sums it up perfectly to how this Orioles fan feels even after the major moves....

"If they were in the American League West, we'd be talking about if X, Y and Z happened, maybe they would contend. But in this division, they are 100 miles away," Olney said. "They have so far to go upstream, it's like watching a salmon at the mouth of whatever river. … That's why, in my own feeling, I wish baseball would realign and take out the divisions. The Rays' window may have just closed for good.

"There is a huge gap between [the Yankees and Red Sox] and the rest of their division. It's almost like it has to be a combination of brilliant work by someone like [Rays GM] Andrew Friedman with luck to get one of the other teams in the mix. For somebody that covered that team, I feel bad. You just have this huge generations of Orioles fans waiting to be inspired and I can't see it anytime soon."

Until there is a hard salary cap the game is always going to be in favor of the major market teams. The two shitbirds (Yankees and Red Sox) should honestly just join as one team. There is no difference between them. They have formed into two perfect Evil Empires. And it's not their fault because Bud Selig is too fucking dumb to do anything about it. As long as he is getting paid and the owners are cashing it in he could careless about competitive balance. And please don't give me the argument about how their have been 8 different World Series Champions in 10 years. The playoffs are a crap shoot. Anything can happen. The problem is over a 162 game schedule it's not fair for the Orioles, Blue Jays, and Rays to have play 19 games each against all the other teams in the AL Beast.

If they aren't going to do a hard cap then realign the divisions like Olney says. The Mets, Cubs, Phillies, Red Sox, and Yankees can all be in the same division. Let them beat the shit out of each other and spend the most money to win the division.

USC GRANDMA FURTHER EMBARRASSING THE SCHOOL

As if Lane Kiffin and the sanctions weren't enough. Now you have some horny old ass grandma freak dancing at your tailgates. I don't know whether to laugh or throw up.



Video HT: George Lee

THE RED SOX CLINCHED THE AL EAST LAST NIGHT, SIGNED CARL CRAWFORD

Don't worry Red Sox fans. Your long postseason void of one whole season will all be forgotten in 2011. Red Sox Nation no longer has to suffer the plight of being labeled "3rd place" in the best division in baseball. Yes, they have agreed in principle to sign the biggest free agent on the market in LF Carl Crawford.

7 years. $142 million. What recession?

In the past 5 days the Red Sox have added All-Star first baseman Adrian Gonzalez and now Crawford. It's actually quite fucking sick how nasty their lineup is going to be minus Salty at catcher and JD Drew in right. Sure they are heavy left handed but who is going to beat them? Old man Yankees? Nah. The depleted Tampa Bay Rays who lose all their stars to free agency? Nah. The Toronto Blue Jays? Get the fuck out of here. The Baltimore Orioles? Sure they have added Mark Reynolds and JJ Hardy but they can't hang with Boston.

This is how baseball works. The teams with the most revenue get the best players. There is no salary cap because Bud Selig is too busy lining his pockets with TV revenue. The Yankees will surely sign Cliff Lee now. They have to now that the Red Sox got a heavy hitting lefty lineup.

I don't blame the Red Sox for dishing out all the cash to sign Crawford. Shit I would. Crawford is a bona fide superstar in my book. Great player. Great teammate. Hustles. Boston will love him. It's just kind of sickening when you know teams like the Red Sox and the Yankees have built in advantages that other teams don't.

Congratulations go out to your 2011 American League East Champion Boston Red Sox.