I was just waiting for one of the old men to pull out a knife and gut one of these punks. It's because I play golf and have respect for the game (drink a beer a hole at all times) that I would have been perfectly fine if one of these old men killed and claimed self defense. I got your back Caddyshack!
HT: Extra Mustard
Nothing says good eating like Blazin' Balls! My mouth is literally watering just thinking about some hot balls. I would lick, bite and swallow so quickly. I need Blazin' Balls in my mouth now damnit!
HT: Extra Mustard
Yesterday National Champion Auburn lost their two biggest playmakers in quarterback Cam Newton and defensive tackle Nick Fairley to the NFL draft. Are either one of these freaks of nature #1 pick material for the Carolina Panthers?
I'm going to say no. Carolina does need a quarterback if they plan on ditching the Jimmy Clausen experiment but I don't think Cam would be the best choice. Andrew Luck would have been the perfect pick for Carolina but since he is coming back for his senior season at Stanford there is no sure bet for #1. Newton has too many question marks (character, ability to adapt to a pro-style offense, experience) to risk handing your franchise over to a guy who would instantly become the face of the franchise. I think Cam could become an excellent NFL QB with time but I don't think Carolina would be conducive to his development. Plus you know Cam and his father are going to hold out for the most money.
Fairley was a beast this season and pretty much carried Auburn's defense much like Cam carried Auburn's offense. He was unstoppable in college. The only person who stopped him was himself. Yes, Fairley does take a lot of plays off. The motor isn't constantly ticking like it is in a Ndamukong Suh. If I'm going to throw tens of millions on a #1 overall pick I have to be absolutely sure they will give it everything they have on Sundays. I'm not convinced Fairley has it in him. Don't get me wrong the guy is a fucking locomotive when he gets going and I would be more than happy to have him playing for my Falcons. But if I'm Carolina I can't risk missing on this #1 pick with a guy who takes plays off and who will be getting millions of dollars and could just cash out like Albert Haynesworth did when he got his big paycheck.
So who would I take #1 if I were Carolina? I would probably look to trade down and get a second round pick to go along with a first or even another first round pick if possible but if I had a gun to my head and had to pick one guy right now it would be Clemson defensive end Da'Quan Bowers. The sky is the limit it for Bowers and with the close proximity of Clemson to Charlotte he would be in a comfort zone with the franchise. I can see Bowers developing into another Julius Peppers.
Notre Dame picked up another huge commitment with 4 star outside linebacker Ishaq Williams dad confirming to IrishIllustrated.com's Pete Sampson that his son would be attending Notre Dame starting next week. This is another huge get for the Notre Dame football program in that Ishaq would join potential 5 star players in defensive ends Stephon Tuitt and Aaron Lynch in what would be the best defensive haul in Notre Dame recruiting history. Notre Dame now has 22 commitments for their 2011 signing class and are still awaiting word from running backs Amir Carlisle and Savon Huggins who both have ND as a finalist in their college decision.
If you are curious to know how good of a recruiters head coach Brian Kelly and defensive coordinator Bob Diaco are you should read this story told to Pete Sampson.
OK, here's the backstory. The dad told me that Ishaq was ready to announce his commitment last weekend at the Army Bowl, or at least was very close to it, but the commitment was going to be to Penn State. During the week Ishaq prayed about the decision, coming to terms with two big points, that Notre Dame was the best fit for him off the field and that the Penn State coaching situation wasn't going to be stable enough for him to trust that the staff would be there intact during his college career.
Fast forward to this morning, with Bob Diaco making a 4:30 a.m. in-home visit with the family, which is what ended up getting Notre Dame over the top.
“The whole notion of going to a school because of a position coach, that’s not a good look,” Shaun Williams said. “Everything else at Notre Dame just added up. It’s really just what he was looking for. He really admires coach Diaco and really admires coach (Brian) Kelly. Coach Kelly is a proven winner and might just prove to be the next Joe Paterno, if he wants to coach that long.
“The whole idea of how confidently coach Diaco talks about Notre Dame winning a national championship in the next few years, he just felt he had to buy in.”
I got a new favorite NBA baller and his name is Blake Griffin. The LA Clippers power forward rookie got in the face of Miami Heats' Mario Chalmers and basically told him to fuck off. Then he gave the royal finish to the Heat last night with a double pump slam dunk that sealed a win 111-105 victory. Just another 24 points, 14 boards, and 6 assists night for Griffin. I'm telling you this kid is going to be the face of the NBA. Everybody wants to jump on Lebron and Kobe's nuts and eventually pass the torch to Derrick Rose but Griffin is the real deal. The kid will eventually turn around the worst franchise in sports history. Book it!
Baltimore Raven's outside linebacker Terrell Suggs wants you to know how he feels about Pittsburgh. The Ravens and Steelers obviously don't take a liking to one another. They are already calling Saturday's playoff game Armageddon because which ever team is left standing after they knock the piss out of each other will more than likely lose the next week versus the Pats/Jets winner. It's going to be brutally bloody battle. The Ravens are the dogs on the road which is to be expected. I think Suggs gets his wish on Saturday and gives Pittsburgh a knockout punch. Right in there Rapelisbergers.
Early Prediction: Ravens 24 Steelers 20
Just a day after turning down Michigan for their head coaching position Les Miles returned to LSU and announced an extension with the Bayou Bengals. How fucking awesome is that? He used the school he played for to get a contract extension with his current employer. Poor Michigan.
BATON ROUGE, La. -- LSU and Les Miles have agreed in principle to a new contract that will run through the 2017 season.
LSU athletic director Joe Alleva says Miles' annual pay of a little more than $3.75 million will remain the same.
The Oklahoma State Cowboys football program received some great news today when record-breaking All-American junior wide receiver Justin Blackmon will return along with quarterback Brandon Weeden. Blackmon was projected as a sure-fire first round draft pick after setting Okie State records with 111 catches for 1782 yards and 20 touchdowns. Weeden also set Cowboy records his junior season with 4277 yards passing along with 34 TD's.
While I'm not surprised Weeden is returning since most draft experts don't have him pegged for as a first round pick I'm shocked Blackmon decided to come back. Blackmon was projected to go right behind UGA's A.J. Green and possibly before Alabama's Julio Jones in the first round. With Blackmon returning the Cowboys have a legitimate shot of competing with the Sooners for the Big 12 Championship next year along with defending his Biletnikoff Award versus Michael Floyd.
Here is my list of the top 5 returning players in college football next season off the top of my head. All 5 of these guys have a good shot at competing for the Heisman if they can get their respective programs to a BCS Bowl game and of course compete for a National Title.
1) Andrew Luck (Stanford)-Be ready to be barraged with endless stories on Luck. He's a good guy who deserves the recognition it's just unfortunate that a lot of people will start to hate him because of all the preseason attention.
2) Justin Blackmon (Oklahoma State)-Could he put up even better numbers? Wouldn't shock me.
3) Lamichael James (Oregon)-Should have the Ducks competing for the PAC-10 Title.
4) Kellen Moore (Boise State)-The guy just wins and will probably throw for a bijillion yards vs. Georgia on national television.
5) Manti Te'o (Notre Dame)-The Hawaiian Hitman will have his coming out party in 2011.
Notre Dame just picked up the biggest commitment they could for the 2011 season. Standout Wide Receiver Michael Floyd announced he would be coming back for his senior season.
"This was one of the toughest decisions I have ever had to make in my life," Floyd said. "On the one hand, there was Notre Dame. This place has been an incredible home to me and the relationships I built here are ones I know I'll have for the rest of my life. On the other hand, there was the NFL. It has always been a lifelong goal to play football at the highest level and that is something I look forward to doing at some point. However, I'm pleased to say I will be returning to the University of Notre Dame for my senior season in 2011.
"I'm returning to Notre Dame for three reasons: to earn my degree, return Notre Dame to the top and improve myself as a player. First, I promised my mom I would graduate from Notre Dame and I am 40 credit hours shy of attaining that goal. I chose to attend Notre Dame in part because I knew it was a 40-year decision and not a four-year decision. Graduating from Notre Dame will help me for the rest of my life. Second, I want to get Notre Dame back to a BCS game. I believe we are very close to returning the Irish to where we belong and I want to be part of something great. Lastly, I want to show everyone in the country that I'm the best wide receiver in college football in 2011. There are many things I need to improve, but I feel with the coaching I have at Notre Dame, I can become the best at my position in this game."
Michael Floyd
Les Miles is yet another "Michigan Man" who has turned down the Wolverines to coach at his alma mater. I take it the fake grass wasn't to his liking. Michigan AD Dave Brandon needs to stop with the grab assing and just hire Brady Hoke already. You aren't get the hot chick Michigan. Your attempts are pathetic. Miles was never going to leave LSU for Michigan. He has it made down there. He can just gobble up 5 star Bayou recruits faster than sideline grass in Baton Rouge.
Let me guess what the next rumor will be: Jon Gruden.
Go after him. I'm ready to make a Miss-igan shirt at any moment.
You gotta love Brent Musberger. The suits were in his ear all game. Say Tostitos! Please! Please! And at the very end of the game he says "THIS IS FOR ALL THE TOSTITOS!" I don't even know what that fucking means. I mean at least say it's for the whole enchilada. That makes sense. Now I'm fucking hungry, craving tostitos and enchiladas and I am stuck in the an ice storm in Atlanta. Fuck you Musberger. Corporate shill for things I actually love.
The officials were on top of it all game and made the right call here. They let the play play out and did not blow the whistle when Auburn tailback Michael Dyer spun and appeared to the naked eye to be down on contact. He in fact was not down and the review confirmed it. This was a huge non whistle call and I got to give the referee a hat tip for making the right call.
Unbelievable ending for Auburn and the new BCS National Champions. Now you can get the official Wilson leather Auburn Tigers 2011 National Champs Football here at SportsCrack.com for the low price of $130. These are the same footballs they used in the BCS Championship game against Oregon and were limited to 2011 produced. From start to finish this Wilson football was produced in the USA.
Get it today!
In order to get all 5 of the BCS games correct I need Auburn to cover the -3 tonight as the favorite. This is my chance at glory so Auburn better not fuck it up. They are bigger and stronger than Oregon on both lines of the ball. Auburn may not have a very good defense (average at best) but does anybody really think LaMichael James is going to run all over them? I don't see James being much of a factor. On the other hand I think Cam Newton goes off. He is the type of player who loves the big stage and the attention. What has he done this season to make you think he will NOT do it again? Exactly. I've watched both of these teams play a ton this season and to my naked unbiased eye the smart play here is to go with Auburn. I know you don't want to hear about the SEC conference but it's honestly a way tougher gauntlet to hurdle than what Oregon had to face this year in the PAC-10. You can put down Cam for over 200 yards passing and 100 yards rushing while combining for at least 4 touchdowns himself whether by air or ground. UPS and the Postal Service may have been out of commission today in Atlanta but Cam is a guaranteed money player who will deliver. Just ask Cecil.
Prediction: Auburn 42 Oregon 24
The picture above is from Clay Travis who is out at the BCS Championship game. Yes sir, $125 for a fucking replica jersey. Usually they go for $50-75.
"We've sold a ton," said the vendor to Travis. Capitalism and the NCAA at it's finest. It's a good thing the NCAA prevents players like AJ Green and Terrelle Pryor from selling their own jerseys for profit while in school. Only because the NCAA won't get a cut of it. Makes perfectly good sense.
According to a John Walters tweet he apparently has a reliable source who has informed him that Michael Floyd will declare for the NFL Draft. Bummer.
Floyd right now is projected to be a 2nd to 3rd draft pick. His college career was spectacular when he was healthy. The problem was he could never stay on the field for a whole season. Personally I think he should have stayed for his senior season. Unlike teammate Kyle Rudolph who is projected to be the first tight end taken in the draft most "experts" don't even have Floyd in their top 5 for college receivers (AJ Green, Julio Jones, Justin Blackmon, Jonathan Baldwin, Torrey Smith are the consensus). I'm obviously bias but I think Floyd is right up there with top 3 but I wouldn't put him in the AJ Green class of receivers.
Losing Floyd to the NFL early is a tremendous loss for the Fighting Irish. There is nobody on their roster who can replace his size, strength, and #1 receiver ability. Theo Riddick and TJ Jones are going to be good ones at ND but they are more #2 receivers. Also Rudolph was easy to replace for ND since Tyler Eifert stepped up in his absence and was more than adequate. Somebody will have to step up to replace Floyd's production and honestly I don't see anybody currently on the roster. But then again I never though much of Jeff Samardzija till his junior season so who knows if guys like John Goodman, Daniel Smith, or Bennett Jackson have that capability of being a go-to receiver.
Anyway you look at it losing Floyd to the NFL sucks. I wish him luck but I can't help but think he would have been better off staying another season and developing his game while putting his name in the Notre Dame record books and also improving his NFL stock by being the #1 guy in the 2012 draft. This has the Justin Tuck feeling. Fuck.
UPDATE: According to this report head coach Brian Kelly will get one last chance to convince Floyd to stay another season with a face-to-face meeting. Sounds like a Hail Mary that ND Nation hopes Kelly nails.
AP PhotoThank you Leather Helmet Blog for the following gem... SportsCrack's readers can thank me later for the re-post. Trust me, you're kidneys are going to love you. We here at SportsCrack will too. Do this one tonight, I can promise you we will be taking part in this little game and all it's glory!
Thanks ecdawg, you da man!
| 10 January 2011
From The Victory Formation:
FOR GAMETIME – have an arsenal of beer available, with ESPN taking the reigns of the BCS National Championship things are sure to move about the speed of a kidney stone. Suggestion: Walgreens has a 6 pack of “beer” on sale for $2.99 right now, with the kidney stones you’ll inherit from this presumably fine malted beverage you’ll finally be able to get the last joke. Print and play…
Sponsors:
- For every mention of the word “Tostitos” by someone not calling the game – 1 drink
- For every mention of the word “Tostitos” by Brent Musberger or Kirk Herbstreit – 2 drinks
- Someone eats a “Tostitos” chip on TV? Kill it.
- NIKE: If at anytime during the game the Oregon uniforms causes some retinal disruption, temporary blindness, or complete loss of bowels – 1 drink.Cam Newton NCAA subgame- Every Time ESPN…
- Mentions Cam’s “troubles” – 1 drink
- Shows some graphic illustrating said “troubles” – 2 drinks
- Cuts to Cecil slying it amongst the Auburn faithful – kill it.The Oregon Offense subgame- This is tough and is best played with multiple people – Oregon’s playcalls come from signs carried around on the sideline that look like this:
When displayed on the screen everyone in the room should immediately (and correctly) shout what is on the placard. First to finish becomes President, and can order anyone to drink copious amounts of alcohol. The first to complain is designated “beer bitch” and has to fulfill the President’s drink order. If no one complains the President can appoint the beer bitch, but is limited to making him drink only once during his tenure. The game resets upon each shot of the Oregon signs.
– First Quarter – Clockwise from the upper left
– Second Quarter – Counter clockwise from the upper right
– Third Quarter – Clockwise from the lower left
– Fourth Quarter – Counter clockwise from the lower right
– Overtime – Free for all. Weapons permissible.The Brent Musberger sub game (optional)- for the Brent Musberger subgame, please see the Brent Musberger drinking game.
Offense:
- When Oregon scores everyone must start quacking and flapping their arms like wings. The last one to start loses and must drink the score.
- When Auburn scores everyone should get on all fours and meow. The last one to do so loses and must drink the score. BONUS! If Cam Newton scores the Auburn touchdown, the loser must drink the Cammy Cam Juice for 5 seconds with the entire crowd counting down. For recipe see below.
- If someone refuses to act like a duck or tiger, “LaGarrette Blount is mad” rules come into play and that person is subject to a merciless beating until the ensuing kickoff. If violence is not your answer, this person is automatic beer bitch.Defense:
- With the strategy of playing defense likely scrapped from both sides the of the field, if either team punts the ball the entire room is to toast the defense and consume together.
- A bucket is to be placed in the middle of the room. After every defensive stop everyone is to pour any amount of their CURRENT beer into the bucket, and is to continue to do so on each defensive stop (punt or turnover) until someone scores. Once a team scores the bucket is now to be presented to the first person who uses the bathroom after the score. They must consume the entire contents. Anyone who walks outside and out of site when doing so is presumed to have used the bathroom. This is to continue throughout the game or until someone dies. Whatever comes first.ESPN: They can’t possible fuck this up as much as FOX managed to, but you know ESPN is ESPN so if anytime during the broadcast, including pregame and post game…
- Lou Holtz slurs – 1 drink
- Brent Musberger slurs – 2 drinks
- Someone mentions Tim Tebow – 1 drink for first mention, 1 additional drink thereafter.
- Todd McShay evaluates the pro potential of one of the players in the game – kill it and throw the can at the TV while everyone yells, “You hack”. If drinking from bottles, throw closest soft object. (We do not want to be responsible for the loss of anyone’s TV this evening.)
- Erin Andrews – first asshole to state the obvious “she’s hot” – he has to kill it.
- If ESPN finds a way to work in Chris Berman or Stu Scott – kill it.
- If ESPN promotes the Pro-Bowl – drink once, unless they mention that some of the guys on the field are future pro-bowlers, then see McShay above.
- The “Roll Tide” commercial plays – One for you, and one for the Tide’s season (into the previously mentioned bucket).
- The Michigan job is mentioned…shrug and continue about your business.Cammy Cam Juice: Gatorade + Everclear. Pour entire bottle of Everclear into bucket, jug, etc. Mix in Gatorade to taste. Godspeed.
I blame Playboy Playmate Jaime Edmondson. She can be very influential with the spanking.
