SOCCER KICK FAIL
Way to go Dad! You just paralyzed your kid trying to Pele the ball to her. This is why my kids will never play soccer. It's too rough of a sport. Only rugby and bull riding for the Fairchild kids.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
HOLD ME CLOSER TONY DANZA
Hold Me Closer Tony Danza - watch more funny videos
Wait a god damn minute! The Elton John song is "Hold me Closer TINY DANCER?" I could have sworn all these years it was Tony Danza. Why else would Elton want to hold a dancer? He's still gay right? I'm so confused now.
THIS IS WHAT DEREK JETER WAKES UP TO EVERY OTHER MORNING: MINKA KELLY IN STOCKINGS
While A-Rod is banging Jeter's sloppy seconds Derek is hitting leadoff with actress Minka Kelly. These pictures from GQ show the Friday Night Lights temptress toying with her stockings and itchy shirt before frolicking in bed with Jeter. On the other days Jeter isn't waking up next to Minka he is face down in road beef. True story. I read it on the internet.
TEXAS AGREES TO 20-YEAR, $300 MILLION DEAL WITH ESPN
The Texas Longhorns got paid big time today. Texas and ESPN have come to an agreement to have an exclusive television contract for all things Longhorn sports for the next 20 years for a mere $300 million. Holy shit! Yeah, and these are to pay for "amateur student-athlete" expenses. If I am Notre Dame I look to renegotiate the NBC Contract right away.
AUSTIN, Texas (AP) — The University of Texas has reached a 20-year, $300 million deal with ESPN for a television network that will broadcast Longhorn sports and other content.
A news conference to formally announce the contract was scheduled for Wednesday afternoon. University spokesman Don Hale confirmed the contract details.
The deal includes Texas' licensing and marketing partner IMG, with more than 80 percent of revenue set to go to the university.
George Bodenheimer, president of ESPN Inc. and ABC Sports, called the network "a testament to the school's remarkable, tradition-rich success and widespread, devoted fan base."
So now the question is how and why is Texas still a part of the Big 12 Conference? Shouldn't they be an independent now because they most certainly aren't going to share their revenue with the rest of the conference? Makes you wonder. In the end the almighty dollar always wins out. We always knew that.
JOSH SMITH WITH THE FILTHY DUNK OVER THE HEAT
Atlanta Hawks forward Josh Smith just gave Miami Heat's Joel Anthony a guest appearance on his next poster. Not only did Smith totally own Anthony last night with this fast break left handed slam he also helped me win some money last night as the Hawks won despite being 6 point dogs on the road. The Heat have now lost 4 in a row. Losers.
MISSISSIPPI STATE CHEERLEADER POSES FOR PLAYBOY, MIGHT BE KICKED OFF TEAM
FratHouseSports has the NSFW gallery of Mississippi State cheerleader Taylor Corley Playboy pictures that came out last month. Word is she got kicked off the Bulldog's cheerleading squad after the coaches found out about the pictures. Personally I just think Taylor was showing off her team spirit. What's wrong with showing her cowbells? I always thought it was a tradition in Starksville to shake them around for your team.
UPDATE: SportsByBrooks.com has found out Corley will NOT be suspended from the cheerleading squad because she did not identify herself as a student or a cheerleader for Mississippi State. Awesome!
VENUS WILLIAMS SPORTING THE WAFFLE HOUSE TOP DOWN UNDER
After staring at this picture for five seconds I got a major craving for the All-Star Special at WAHO. Just pour some syrup on Venus Williams, add a little bit of hashbrowns on the side and some scrambled eggs and I would eat her up. Venus has never looked so yummy. I think I see some chocolate chips too.
Image via CosbySweaters
LAURENCE MARONEY'S MUG SHOT
Denver Broncos running back Laurence Maroney was arrested Monday for drugs and guns charges in none other than the crime capital of the world: St. Louis, MO. Shocker right? You gotta love the mug shot. For a second I thought it was Whoopi Goldberg. Even has the little white poking out of the collar like a nun.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
ROB LOWE GOES NUTS
Looks funny but I will probably not watch "Parks and Recreation." Why? Because I'm fucking lazy and I'd rather drink and masturbate on Thursdays. Duh!
BROOKLYN DECKER IS FUN TO LOOK AT
I'm still not going to pay $12 to go see her in the newest Adam Sandler bomb of a movie but I don't mind looking at these new Esquire pictures of her. It's only a matter of time before Brooklyn Decker ditches the tennis geek she's with now and upgrades to the blogger geek. Don't worry Brooklyn...I'll keep it our dirty little secret you vixen you.
Images via WWTDD
NOTRE DAME LOSES 5 STAR RECRUIT STEPHON TUITT TO GEORGIA TECH
Well as quickly as the Irish gained a recruit in Chase Hounshell they lost their biggest recruit today when 5 star defensive end Stephon Tuitt called Brian Kelly and told him and his staff he would be staying local and head to Georgia Tech.
Georgia Tech, led by recruiting coordinator Andy McCollum, pulled off the biggest last-minute switch in Yellow Jacket recruiting history on Tuesday afternoon.
McCollum has been working newly minted five-star defensive end Stephon Tuitt for years, and all that hard work finally has paid off.
Tuitt called Notre Dame head coach Brian Kelly and decommitted from the Irish. He has committed to Georgia Tech and head coach Paul Johnson. Monroe Area head coach Matt Fligg confirmed the switch.
"We talked a lot the last two or three days, and I told Stephon he needed to do what was best for him. The big hold up was he didn't want to be known as a decommitter," Fligg said. "This afternoon we called Notre Dame together and let them know that he is no longer committed there. Then we called head coach Paul Johnson and informed him Stephon would be a Yellow Jacket."
Tuitt was worked over into flipping to Georgia Tech thanks to high school teammate Demontevious Smith who just recently received his first major offer this past week from none other than Georgia Tech. Smith convinced Tuitt that staying local would be in his best interest and that playing in Al Groh's defense would suit him well. Tuitt is the most highly regarded prospect to commit to Georgia Tech in the past 30 years. He is the #1 prospect in the state of Georgia and also is rated the #2 defensive end in all the country.
Groh's defense last year was horrific so expect Tuitt to start right away. Pretty much as soon as he steps foot on campus he will be their best player. Props go to coach Paul Johnson and his staff for getting his high school buddy to get him to switch. All is fair in love and recruiting.
NOTRE DAME STEALS ONE FROM FLORIDA, LANDS CHASE HOUNSHELL
Talk about a reversal of fortune for two programs. Back when Charlie Weis was coaching Notre Dame Urban Meyer would routinely steal recruits from the Fighting Irish at the last minute (Justin Trattou, Omar Hunter). It was a matter of routine for Urban to tear out the hearts of Notre Dame recruiting fans and eat it. You pretty much expected it.
Moving along to the present we now have Notre Dame stealing Florida recruits. Massive offensive tackle Chase Hounshell had been committed to the Gators for over 6 months but all it took was an in-home visit from head coach Brian Kelly and position coach Ed Warinner just a day after Will Muschamp and his Gator crew visited to get the kid to flip. In other words Kelly and his staff are just straight up stealing house money at this point.
If you are a Gator fan you should be worried about Muschamp and Weis coaching your team. Neither one of them has proven themselves as a head coach and it appears recruits are starting to take notice too. Meanwhile Kelly and his staff continue to get top notch prospects and convince them to either flip to them or stay committed. It's probably because Kelly is a proven winner who no matter what kind of talent he had on his roster he would continue to win. If you are a Notre Dame fan you shouldn't be on the fence anymore with Kelly as the coach. He knows what he is doing. If you are Gator fan I would be really worried.
Karma is a bitch.
Monday, January 17, 2011
CAL RIPKEN JR TO BE BALTIMORE ORIOLES OWNER IN TWO YEARS?
Since football season is pretty much over for me I figured I would dive into some baseball rumors. Former ESPN sports commentator and journalist Roy Firestone (yes...the guy who made Rod Tidwell cry) is a die hard Baltimore Orioles fan and had this juicy rumor of Cal Ripken Jr. taking ownership in two years from Peter Angelos...
Im not identifying the person. But at an awards dinner I presented last night honoring Tom Seaver, Brooks Robinson, Joe Garagiola, Bob Uecker, and others, I had a lengthy conversation with a highly"plugged in" individual(NOT AN ORIOLE OR EX ORIOLE).This person(whom any baseball fan would know) told me that Peter Angelos intends to sell the Orioles in two years to a group headed by Cal Ripken Jr. I have NO CONFIRMATION nor do I have any personal insight. I don't even know if Cal would even dignify the comment with an answer. All I know is that this person(not a scribe either) is highly credible and had alot of details. I've heard this suggestion before, and many have talked about this. But this is the first time Ive heard a baseball figure tell me that this is going to happen. Just thought youd like to know.
Firestone posted this on OriolesHangout.com and for the love of God I hope it happens. Since Peter Angelos bought majority ownership of the Baltimore Orioles back in 1993 for $173 million the team has made only 2 playoff appearances. The once proud franchise who relied on great starting pitching, good defense, and the three-run homer have become the laughingstock of the AL East under the grips of Angelos. Sports Illustrated has rated him the worst owner in all of the Majors. As an Orioles fan I would completely agree. Camden Yards has become a ghost town under his ownership despite it being one of the best ballparks in the game. People don't go to the games anymore because they don't want to support the franchise mainly because of the way Angelos has run them into the ground. Angelos is public enemy #1 in Baltimore.
Ripken on the other hand is a state treasure. He's an icon. A legend. A local boy who won a World Series and kept the Orioles on the map despite Angelos. He would be the perfect owner for the only team he has ever known. He grew up playing "the Oriole Way" under his dad who was a long time coach for his hometown team. Ripken knows baseball and with him being an owner it would put his face back on the franchise and destroy the totalitarian drowning grip of Angelos' dead hands.
It almost sounds too good to be true. One can only pray the information Firestone got is in fact correct. It's something myself, Eddie, Cal, and the rest of the Orioles fanbase and franchise could drink to forever.
RICKY GERVAIS NAILS HOLLYWOOD RAW WITH HIS GOLDEN GLOBES OPENING MONOLOGUE
I got to admit I'm not a huge Ricky Gervais fan but I thought he did an excellent job last night hosting the Golden Globes. He made all of Hollywood uneasy right with his first heater of a pitch high and uptight with Charlie Sheen's face planted on it. Then he moved on to make fun of Scientology, Hugh Hefner, Mel Gibson, Lost, The Tourist, Hollywood Foreign Press, Tim Allen, Sex and the City, and many others. You could just feel the tension in the room. It was great to see how uneasy a bunch of uptight liberal millionaires can get by a Brit telling jokes.
And as far as the dress category goes since I know you guys are all about fashion I have to go with a straight up tie between January Jones and Halle Berry.
I believe Halle Berry is 41 and she is still batting cleanup. And she just had a kid. She is basically tearing the fuck out of Hollywood despite being twice the age of most actresses. Good for her I say. Note to the other actresses if you want me to recognize you in the best dress category you have to show off some fucking cleavage. Anne Hathaway is naked in about every movie she appears in yet she was covered from neck to toes. WTF Hathaway? You are better than that. Now go throw up and get naked on camera.
BART SCOTT WAS A LITTLE EMOTIONAL
Haha..."they can't stop a nosebleed" is classic Bart Scott. I'm not going to lie, I was heavily rooting for the Jets yesterday. I never root for a New Jersey/New York based team but I couldn't help myself yesterday. If the Falcons were going to embarrass themselves the night before I sure as hell wanted the Patriots to lose so all the talk wouldn't be about how the Falcons shit the bed. The Jets made Tom Brady look very average. Jets now advance to face the Steelers in the AFC Championship. I know the refs like to personally gift playoff games to the Steelers with their bullshit calls but I'm siding with the Jets this weekend. I like Rex Ryan and I honestly can't stand the Steelers.
BEARS FANS ARE DAMN SEXY
If you are in to overweight, middle age men than the Chicago Bears have the perfect fans for you. Team them up with the Packers crew this Sunday and you got the billion pound march on the horizon. MLK would be so proud.
Via TheBigLead via Jimmy Traina
Saturday, January 15, 2011
NFL PLAYOFF PREDICTIONS
BALTIMORE VS PITTSBURGH
Ray Rice is the X factor in this game. If he goes over 80 yards rushing the Ravens will win easily. On the other hand the Ravens need Joe Flacco to play within himself and not turnover the ball especially with the fumbles. I know this game is in Pittsburgh and Rapelisberger is pretty much money against the Ravens but I don't think the Steelers play their best game today.
Prediction: Ravens 24 Steelers 20
GREEN BAY VS ATLANTA
I love the fact that all the experts out there think the Packers are going to go into Atlanta and win. Somehow the Falcons have become "underdogs" at home despite Matt Ryan and head coach Mike Smith having an over .900 win percentage at the Georgia Dome. The Falcons win this game easily thanks to their defense.
Prediction: Falcons 28 Packers 20
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