SportsCrack Blog

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Jason Heyward and Freddie Freeman on the SI Cover



You know when you get that sick feeling in your stomach? Like somebody just hit you in the balls and you can feel the pain getting worse and worse. This is how I felt when I saw Freddie Freeman and Jason Heyward on this week's Sports Illustrated cover. Two young Atlanta Braves sluggers with their whole future ahead of them. A deadly duo who at just 21 years of age could be the building blocks of future pennants gracing the Turner Field walls. But now I don't feel good because I know all about the SI cover jinx. It's notorious for knocking down hyped phenoms. All Braves fans remember Jeff Francoeur and his infamous "The Natural" cover 6 years ago. Yeah that didn't turn out so well for the last Brave who was considered the hometown hero. I still have fresh memories of last year's Spring Training coverboy in Matt Wieters.

"The Perfect Catch" eh? I guess if you consider a .319 OBA and a slugging percentage of .377 as Mauer-like but I most certainly do not. Listen I love the hype that these kids get. It just scares the shit out of me when it's somebody on the team I root for. Instantly the guy has a target on his back and unless his name is Michael Jordan they usually don't live up to the enormous hype. I mean fuck SI, why couldn't you put Albert Pujols or the Phillies starting rotation on there? Those are more interesting spring training stories. Jinx them. Not us.

To read more on the SI cover story go to Jeff Schultz piece in the AJC.com

Kyle Rudolph Game Used Notre Dame Jersey for sale



I just got this in from Steiner Sports who is the exclusive memorabilia dealer for game used Notre Dame jerseys. It's a game worn Kyle Rudolph road jersey from his freshman season in 2008. During his freshman season Rudolph was the first ever tight end to start the season opener and went on to set freshman receiving records while hauling in 29 receptions for 340 yards and 2 touchdowns while starting all 13 games. This is a chance to own a piece of Notre Dame history. Rudolph is expected to be the top NFL tight end pick in the upcoming April NFL Draft.

KYLE RUDOLPH GAME USED NOTRE DAME WHITE JERSEY-2008



Mr. Brooklyn Decker with the impressive tennis shot



You gotta hand it to Andy Roddick. While his wife Brooklyn Decker in on the road promoting her movie with her huge cans and no doubt getting plowed by every A-list actor out there in Hollywood he is making amazing diving tennis shots for a ATP championship in Memphis. The actual chances of their marriage surviving past 2 more years in fading faster than Roddick's hairline.




Video via ExtraMustard

Monday, February 21, 2011

Braves GM Frank Wren thinks the defense isn't a concern


Atlanta Braves GM Frank Wren must be living near a meth house if he honestly doesn't think defense is a concern for his ballclub after last year's disastrous performance in the field. Stop breathing in those fumes asshole. Defense is extremely important when it comes to playing winning baseball. Maybe not as important as pitching but it's right up there. Here is what Wren had to say about the defense. And remember last year the Braves committed 126 errors (1 off the league high) and now have a second baseman in Dan Uggla who has the most errors for a 2bagger for the past two seasons. And oh yeah Chipper ain't exactly Brooksie over at the hot corner with his bum knees.

“At the end of the day, I don’t think errors contribute a great deal to losses,” Braves general manager Frank Wren said. “I mean, that [126 errors] is still less than an error a game. And it depends on when the errors happens. With nobody on, you boot a ground ball and then you get a double play, it’s an error. But all errors aren’t created equal.

“I think that’s much overblown. When you put together your team, it’s the full contribution of players. What they do, whether it’s running the bases, or offensively, there’s lots of other things that guys can do, which add to your ballclub.”


I guess Wren decided not to watch Brooks Conrad personally butcher the playoff series with the Giants last year because I'm pretty sure his defense fucked us in that game. I also tend to remember a lot of wins literally being thrown away because of crucial errors from our infielders including one Brian McCann. But yeah defense isn't a major concern at all. Especially with your starting All Star second baseman Martin Prado playing left field for the very first time (Prado should be at second base IMO while Uggla should be in left). Listen Wren. Defense wins you games. Especially in the playoffs. So don't be a dickhead and say it's not a concern.

I'm not nearly as optimistic about the Braves chances this year as I was last year. Last year I thought they could make a run for the World Series because it was Bobby's last year and the pitching could get them over the hump come playoff time. This year I have my doubts they even make the playoffs. The Braves have some potentially huge holes at both corners of the infield (Freddie Freeman is a rookie who only hit .167 during his short time in Atlanta and Chipper Jones is 39 and coming off another knee injury) and the outfield has potential with Jason Heyward (trying to forget his disastrous second half and brutal playoff performance) evolving into the superstar we all know he can be and Prado having another MVP season but does anybody in the Braves organization really expect anything from CF Nate McLouth? The problem with the Braves last season was they had horrible defense, didn't have good baserunners, and the lineup didn't have much pop. This year the defense looks like it will again be average to awful while there are still no speed guys and Uggla does bring the pop but what do they really expect to get out of premium power hitting positions such as 1B, 3B, and CF? Because right now I don't expect too much out of Freeman, McLouth and Chipper this season for various reasons (rookie mistakes to self confidence issues to washed up superstar).

And I'm not even going to mention the pitching which could potentially be league average. In order for the Braves to reach the playoffs they need to have great pitching and great defense this season. If Wren doesn't see it then either he is fooling himself or is just a fool. Hopefully just the first option.

News Anchor gets burned by co-worker



Well played. The guy kind of deserved it right? I mean you don't leave yourself open to that burn especially if you got a small pecker.

Aaron Murray breaks ankle in two places UPDATE: JUST A SPRAIN


According to Zach Dillard over at redandblack.com Georgia starting quarterback Aaron Murray has broken his ankle in two places.

Update: Official word on the injury is set to be released by Georgia later today after Murray is checked out by the team’s medical staff.

Georgia starting quarterback Aaron Murray has suffered an ankle injury, though the severity of the injury has not been officially announced yet.

Team sources say Murray’s right ankle is broken in two places, but associate athletic director Claude Felton was not available to confirm or deny the report.

Team sources say that Murray broke the ankle participating in an activity with teammates and friends on Saturday afternoon. Murray was rushed to team doctors after suffering the injury.

Murray was seen using crutches around campus Monday.

Murray was a candidate for SEC freshman of the year after an excellent showing in his first year at the helm of the Bulldogs’ offense. He accumulated 3,049 passing yards and 24 touchdowns in the regular season, while throwing just six interceptions.

He is slated to be the starter at quarterback again next season.

If the ankle is broken, it would likely hold Murray out of all of spring practice, creating another setback for a program looking to bounce back from a disappointing 6-7 season.


If this is true then it's another huge blow to the Georgia football program. Murray in my mind was the best freshman qb (albeit redshirt) in the nation and has the potential to lead the Bulldogs back to the promise land of a SEC Championship. Without him Georgia is in a word: fucked. The depth chart at QB includes sophomore Hutson Mason who has very little experience and incoming true freshman Christian LeMay who did not even play his senior year in high school. If Georgia is to contend for the SEC East in 2011 they are going to need a healthy Murray especially with the losses on the offensive line and some receiver called A.J. Green, you may have heard of him.

UPDATE: Bulldog Nation can take a deep breath and exhale. Murray's injury is diagnosed as a minor sprain of the right ankle. His x-rays were negative and he will be ready for spring practice. The injury occurred during a pick-up soccer game in Athens on Saturday.

Fuck You Minnesota! The Twins unveil a Hrbek-Gant bobblehead



It's been 20 years now but I still remember this absolute bullshit play from the 1991 World Series. Minnesota Twin's first baseman Kent Hrbek pulled the ultimate dick move and literally carried Atlanta Braves outfielder Ron Gant off the bag at first base like he was Ric Flair. It was a garbage play and of course with the Braves luck the umpire called out Gant. Fucking shit it still pisses me off. Not as bad as the Jeffrey Mayer call but it's a close second. Well just to prove how big of a dick the whole state of Minnesota is the Twins are coming out with the Hrbek-Gant bobblehead giveaway this season to commerate it. I'm not even shittin ya. A bobblehead to display a play which cheated their way to a 4-3 series win. Fuck you Minnesota! Fuck you!

By the way the bobblehead sucks. Hrbek isn't nearly fat enough and there is no way Roberto Kelly was pulled off the bag. Oh that's suppose to be Ron Gant? Could have fooled me assholes!

Kobe throws down the Black Mamba in Lebron's face



This is for all the Lebron cock gobblers out there. While Lebron was messing around and getting a triple double Kobe was throwing down dunks and hitting threes and winning the MVP while leading his team to another victory. Kobe>Lebron? You be the judge.

Blake Griffin's 360 behind-the-head dunk



This was the 2011 Dunk Contest winner's first dunk of the night. It was also Blake Griffin's best dunk. The over the car dunk was cool but I don't think the difficulty was as high as this one. Watching it in slow motion is a thing of beauty.

The most impressive dunk of the night and the guy who probably could have won it if it didn't come down to fan voting was Washington's JaVale McGee with this double dunk...



Unfuckinbelievable. The 2011 Dunk Contest was the best ever in my opinion. The first round was insane with all 4 contestants nailing poster perfect dunks. Check out this legit behind the free throw line dunk from Air Congo Serge Ibaka...



...and he finished last. The NBA put on a great show Saturday night. Nobody got killed which is always a plus.

Friday, February 18, 2011

For the HELL OF IT: MINKA KELLY





Blake Griffin's First Half Dunks



Blake Griffin is the most exciting player to watch since Lebron James made his debut straight out of high school. I would argue Griffin is bringing back nonchalant fans like myself who haven't really paid too much attention to the NBA since some guy named Michael Jordan was winning rings in Chicago. The video above is from Deadspin and it chronicles every single one of his 140 dunks so far in the NBA.

Oh by the way the rumor is for tomorrow's slam dunk contest in Los Angeles Griffin will be jumping over...get this...a Bentley. With a major celebrity of some sort throwing the pass from inside the car and out the sunroof. If this happens it will be the greatest YouTube dunk in the history of YouTube dunks.

Stan Musial did what in the Navy?



Stan Musial missed a season in his prime in order to suck cock in the Navy? Talk about sucking it up and taking one for your country. Stan the Man is a true American hero.

Video via Hot Clicks

NFL Prospects are Scared by Gorilla



Via Hot Clicks

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Operation: Destroy Toomer's Corner



I fucking knew Nick Saban was up to his old tricks. Disgraceful.

I can't help but laugh at Gene Chizik going ape shit. Sorry Auburn fans but this is hilarious.

Miguel Cabrera likes to party



Detroit Tigers first baseman apparently likes the booze a little too much. Cabrera was arrested last night for DUI after registering a staggering 0.26 BAC (.08 is the legal limit) with a bottle of James Buchanan Scotch in his car. The bottle wasn't just sitting there in the backseat when the officer approached Cabrera. He was fucking swigging from it! The officer then told Cabrera to follow his orders and Miggy responded in classic athlete style:" Do you know who I am, you don't know anything about my problems!"

This is Cabrera's second arrest due to alcohol problems. In 2009 he was arrested after getting in a fight with his wife when he was shitfaced smack dab in the middle of the season. Come on Cabrera. Everybody knows you get drunk during the offseason. It's ballplayer 101. Spring Training just started and you get caught doing a Tony Larussa? No doubt his punishment will be Jim Leyland cigarette burns to his forearms.

The Tigers don't need any more distractions from Cabrera. In fact they might want to just unload his alcohol problems on the Atlanta Braves. I'm thinking a Brooks Conrad and Kenshin Kawakami gets it done. Maybe throw in some Maker's Mark and a Pontiac to sweeten the honey pot for Detroit. Sounds fair to me.

Auburn's Toomer's Corner poisoning should piss of ALL college football fans



One of the great things about college football that separates it from the NFL is the traditions each school has. Whether it be Howard's Rock at Clemson or Touchdown Jesus at Notre Dame or The Grove at Ole Miss each one of those certain traditions is dear and very prideful for the alums and fans of those certain schools. It's the traditions that help identify the school and is passed on from generation to generation. Unfortunately some Bammer asshole named "Al from Dadeville" has poisoned and will eventually kill one of Auburn's best traditions: Toomer's Corner.

Toomer's Corner are the majestic live oaks at the intersection of Magnolia and College streets in Auburn, AL. The oaks are over 130 years old and they mark the transition from downtown Auburn to the university campus. They were named after Toomer's Drug Store which has been a landmark for the town. It has become a tradition to roll the massive oaks after a big win for Auburn. Most recently the trees were rolled when Auburn won the BCS National Championship in January. Unfortunately those trees are now poisoned by one deranged fan.

"Al from Dadeville" called into the Paul Finebaum show and laid claim to poisoning the trees with a large quantity of Spike 80DF (tebuthiuron) on January 27th. "Al" who is no doubt deranged claimed he did it in retaliation for the posting of pictures showing Auburn fans rolling Toomer's Corner after the death of Alabama's iconic coach Bear Bryant in 1983 as well as photos of Cam Newton's #2 jersey placed on the Bear Bryant statue during the 2010 season. Auburn officials immediately tested the soil at Toomer's Corner and did find lethal doses of Spike 80DF. Yesterday it was confirmed the oaks could not be saved. They are slowly dying and eventually the tradition that is Toomer's Corner will go with it.

As a college football fan this should really piss you off even if you are not a fan of Auburn. I honestly could not imagine a Trojans fan going to Notre Dame and defacing Touchdown Jesus or torching the grotto. What if a Florida fan went to Sanford Stadium and poisoned UGA and the shrubs? Could you imagine how infuriated you would become if this happened? Rivalries are great for college football but when a fan like "Al" takes it to a poisoning and killing live things level then it has just gone way too far.

This morning "Al from Dadeville" was arrested. His name is Harvey Almorn Updyke, Jr. and you would think this was probably some idiot teenager who did it. Wrong. Harvey is an unemployed 62 year old man. He is being charged with a Class C felony of criminal mischief and if convicted he could serve 1-10 years in prison. A 62 year old man? What a fucking loser.

Harvey has stolen the future memories of the many generations of Auburn fans who would have rolled Toomer's Corner in celebration. In a way he has taken away the identity of the university. Those memories of Toomer's Corner will be gone with the next generation. It's unfortunate a 62 year old redneck like Harvey can poison and destroy those memories. Hopefully with all traditions such as Toomer's Corner something can be done to resuscitate it. Auburn can't let Toomer's Corner disappear because of a Bammer. It must be replaced. Auburn Nation is hurting right now and hopefully the fans and alumni take the high road and don't try to retaliate. Don't be like Harvey. Let the team take out their frustrations at the next Iron Bowl. It's what Toomer's Corner would have wanted.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Brooklyn Decker SI Swimsuit 2011 Video



Yesterday we had the pictures of Brooklyn Decker and today we have the actual video of her. Isn't it crazy to see her in moving form? It's almost like she is real. I got to say she looks a hell of a lot better on the beach then she does in my cellar with electric tape over her mouth. It's amazing how unsexy a sex slave can look these days. They don't make them like they used to.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

An extremely rare soccer post: Wayne Rooney's bicycle kick goal



I've gotten a few shout outs from some SportsCrack heads out there about this unbelievable goal from Wayne Rooney. Not too shabby coming from a bloody Limey such as Rooney. Apparently it was the game winner vs. Manchester City. Awesome. Now wake me up when the World Cup starts.

The Serene Branson Remix Video



Those dickheads at CBS have pulled all the original footage of Serene Branson mucking up her live Grammy report from YouTube so we are left with the one and only "Serene Branson Remix Video." The Shebot was trying to communicate to us and clearly her batteries were dying. Fucking Duracells.

Video via WarmingGlow

Brooklyn Decker Sports Illustrated 2011 photos







I posted these pictures because I need the traffic and I was starting to feel bad for Brooklyn Decker. The girl is obviously hurting for publicity right now.

For more photos go to SI.com