Kevin Durant is kinda decent at Streetball at Rucker Park

Oklahoma City's Kevin Durant is en fuego from behind the arc in this pickup game at Harlem's Rucker Park. Apparently with the NBA Lockout the stars of the league have to find something to do with their time and instead of venturing off to China like Kobe Durant is straight ballin' in Harlem. Durant looks mad, intense, and focused. Probably has to do with him playing basketball with shit for security in fucking Harlem of all places.

Via TheBigLead

BOURN SUPREMACY ATLANTA BASEBALL SHIRTS NOW FOR SALE!!!

He's the fastest thing to arrive in Atlanta since "Prime Time" Deion Sanders. The Bourn Supremacy has a mission: World Series! Now you can get the only shirt available for the newest member of the Chopping Crew for only $17. Please visit our STORE and be sure to spread the word to the Tomahawk Nation.

PENCE SYLVANIA PHILLY BASEBALL SHIRTS FOR SALE!!!

Only at SportsCrack.com can you get this cool, throwback style PENCESYLVANIA Philly Baseball t-shirt. These soft cotton tees are perfect for gamedays to show your pride for the newest Phillie. Get it now for only $17 at our STORE PAGE. Be sure to spread the word.

Do Yankees Fans Never Learn?

Just because you are savage animals with shit for brains doesn't mean you try to catch the ball with your face. I swear to God these people will just never learn. You have to use your hands to catch the ball! Thousands of years of evolution and still we got these imbeciles trying to catch it with their enormous nostrils like they are sucking up blow off toilet seats on Wall Street.

And yes I recognize the Yankees swept the pathetic Orioles once again. Summer wouldn't seem the same without that storyline.

Kate Upton: Enjoys Milking and Grabbing Cock

You know sometimes the pictures just write the headlines themselves. It's not necessarily my perverse view of the world. It's that sultry Kate Upton who thinks of shit like this while posing for "The Complex" and killing all men inside...and out.

Keep on rocking it Ms. Upton...

Peter King Reaffirms My Belief the Carolina Panthers will be God Awful

The Carolina Panthers went 2-14 last season with a rookie QB in Jimmy Clausen taking the majority of the snaps. They had by far the worst offense in the NFL last season ranking dead last in points, yards, and passing yards. Clausen didn't help matters with an abysmal 52.5% completion percentage and a 58.4 QB rating along with a 3-to-9 touchdown to interception rate. So this year it appears they are going to bench the young Clausen in favor of #1 pick Cam Newton. Cam is a player who Peter King describes as "a little inaccurate...but he had a couple of great deep throws." Sweet. He basically described another Jamarcus Russell.

The Panthers current Vegas odds on their win total is 4.5. Right now I don't see them beating anybody in the NFL South. The Falcons, Saints, and Buccaneers should go undefeated against Carolina who will be breaking in not only a rookie QB with tremendous expectations but a rookie coach in Ron Rivera. The only winnable games I see on their schedule are the opener vs. Arizona on the road and then an October 23rd game vs the Redskins and a November 13th game vs the Titans. And while I'm fully aware that every game in the NFL should be a "Any Given Sunday" attitude towards the final outcome I can't help but look at the Panthers and think they are going to win no more than 3 games all season if they are lucky.

Bet the under of 4.5 wins for Carolina. They are going to be awful. Trust me.

Kerry Wood with the lone Cubs Highlight of the Year

It's been a long season for the lovable losers from the Northside. But pitcher Kerry Wood brought a ray of sunshine on this cloudy 2011 season for the Cubbies with this nifty behind-the-back snag to start a 1-6-3 double play. Somewhere Steve Bartman is in full clown outfit with single tear going down left cheek.

Netflix Relief Fund

The debt ceiling is your fault Netflix. I wanted two DVDs at one time. Not one like some dickhead. Now I'm the dickhead because of you Netflix. I can't afford the extra $6 a month. That's like 3 months salary for a blogger. What a bunch of heartless bastards!

Friday Funbags

No Friday is complete without funbags. Enjoy.

Kill Me Now: The Atlanta Braves are going after Josh Willingham or Ryan Ludwick

Three days away from the trade deadline and the big move Atlanta Braves GM Frank Wren has made so far to improve a dreadful offense is trade for the great Wil Nieves for a $1. There is no question to anybody with half a brain that the Braves desperately need an outfielder with a right handed bat with some pop. They don't need Nieves even with All-Star catcher Brian McCann on the DL.

So instead of going big and getting a Carlos Beltran or a Adam Jones or even a BJ Upton or settling for a Carlos Quentin the Braves are going to get either a Josh Willingham or Ryan Ludwick. So instead of getting filet mignon Wren is going to settle for a McDonalds burger. Look I'm not necessarily trying to shit all over Willingham and Ludwick because they are good players. But they aren't players who are going to push the Braves over the top and win them a World Series in October.

If I had a preference I would take Willingham because I think he is the better player right now. Before this season in Oakland he was a high on base guy who has about 20 HR a season pop. This season his numbers are down because he hits in a pitchers park and he's an aging 32 years old. But honestly I don't want either of Willingham or Ludwick. They do nothing for me as a Braves fan.

If the Braves want to go big they need to be willing to deal one of their young arms in Mike Minor, Randall Delgado, or Arodys Vizcaino. Julio Teheran is untouchable and I don't blame Wren for making him that unless the Dodgers call and offer Matt Kemp. Then you can say bye-bye to Teheran and not think twice about it. But that isn't going to happen. If I'm Wren I call the Orioles and ask about Adam Jones. I call the Dbacks and ask about Justin Upton. I call the Rays and ask about BJ Upton. If it takes trading one or even two of Minor, Delgado or Vizcaino to get a young, gold glove ability right handed hitter with pop then I make the deal. The Braves have a ton of young pitching and with the way they scout and develop they will continue to stockpile arms. The problem is they don't have any young hitters in their minor league system who will make an impact the next 2-3 seasons.

Wren is known to keep things close to the vest and not reveal much if anything to the media. I have no problem with that. But don't tell me in September that your team is much better after adding a Rick Ankiel-type or a Derrek Lee-type when you could have gone big. It's about winning the World Series and not just making the playoffs.

UPDATED: The Braves are "hot" for Carlos Quentin and the White Sox want one of the Braves young arms according to Ken Rosenthal. Quentin would be a huge improvement over what the Braves already have in left field but they would still be missing a centerfielder. Quentin is salary arbitration eligible next year and a free agent in 2013.

The Albert Haynesworth Era in D.C is Over

Lay Lady, Lay. Yeah I don't think the Redskins are going to miss Albert Haynesworth. Now watch him go to the New England Patriots and turn out a Pro Bowl season next to Vince Wilfork. That fat drunk fuck will probably dominate for Bill Belichick.

Honestly I haven't thought much of Haynesworth since he left the Titans. The guy I think who will make a huge impact next season is Osi Umenyiora. He's going to hold out of Giants camp and the cash-strapped Giants won't have enough money to resign him and stay under the cap. Umenyiora had 11.5 sacks and 10 forced fumbles last season. He would look great in an Atlanta Falcons uniform. With that being said he will probably wind up with the Jets. It just seems like the Jets are going to get every defensive stud available.

Andrew Luck: Get a Hair Cut and a Shave Hippie!

Serious question for anyone that can grow a beard: Does facial hair help with the ladies?

Because I'm 32 years old and I still can't grow one.

I've got the Civil War thing going on. Full hair on the left but thin as shit on the right side of my face. I ask this because future #1 NFL Draft Pick and current Stanford QB as well as the clear cut leader for the Heisman Trophy grew out the beard this summer. I would think it would diminish your ability to score ass if you look like a nerdy hillbilly with pubs glued to your face.

Just a heads up Andrew Luck since I know you read SportsCrack. Cut it man. Cut it all off.


Via TheBigLead

Butch Davis Officially Fired by North Carolina

It sounds like North Carolina head coach Butch Davis might be looking for a job pretty soon. According to InsideCarolina.com an "UNC official would not confirm or deny whether Butch Davis has been fired today." If Butch's job is safe in Chapel Hill then it would seem someone within the Tar Heels football program would come out and defend him. So far it has not happened.

Davis and the Tar Heels program have been under a microscope since last year's ACC Kickoff when several reports surfaced about potential NCAA infractions with some of their football players involved. Players like Marvin Austin, Greg Little, and Robert Quinn were suspended for the 2011 season when word got out they had received impermissible academic assistance as well as extra benefits in airfare and parties attended. Also records revealed 395 parking citations for 11 football players totaling more than $13,000 in fines. The UNC football program is the next in line for the NCAA's Committee of Infractions in Indianapolis to rule on what punishment the football program will receive.

If UNC jumped the gun and fired Davis today then it probably means the Tar Heels will receive a punishment similar to what Ohio State received. Which is basically nothing besides losing your head coach. Davis has compiled a 28-23 record with a 1-2 bowl record at North Carolina.

UPDATED at 5:40 PM EST: Davis has been told in meetings with chancellor and athletic director that the process of termination has begun according to Joe Schad at ESPN.com

So now the question is who will be the next head coach at North Carolina? Does anybody really care?

Nation's Top QB Gunner Kiel picks...Indiana?

For months the speculation surrounding the nation's top QB prospect in Gunner Kiel revolved around whether he would go to one of either Alabama, Illinois or Oklahoma. But today the 6'4 220 lb QB with the big arm from Columbus, IN decided to stay in-state and pick the Indiana Hoosiers.

The biggest factor was Indiana's new head coach Kevin Wilson, who was recently Oklahoma's offensive coordinator, formed a great bond with Kiel and persuaded Kiel to come to Bloomington so he could play with his older brother Dusty.

Kiel of course will be given an immediate chance to start in 2012. It's still 6 months to signing day but this has the same feel of Tim Couch or Brian Brohm deciding to stay in-state back in the day. Congratulations to the Hoosiers. Now they can get 45,000 people to attend instead of the usual 35,000.

Via LostLettermen

Giants Agree To Trade Zach Wheeler for Carlos Beltran

The San Francisco Giants have agreed to deal top pitching prospect Zach Wheeler plus cash to the New York Mets for Carlos Beltran according to Joel Sherman. The deal is finalized it's just needs Beltran's approval because of his 10 and 5 rights to refuse a trade. The chances of him refusing a trade to the defending champions Giants is about 0%.

This is a huge move for the Giants. They need hitting and Beltran will fit in perfectly in San Francisco. Beltran can be their #2 or #3 hitter and is a proven playoff hitter once the Giants get there.

For the Mets this trade makes a lot of sense too. They get a young arm in Wheeler who they can develop as a starter who should eventually make the big league club in 2012. They were going to lose Beltran to free agency and to acquire a live arm with Wheeler's makeup and get some cash is a win-win for the Mets.

Finally a Baseball Trade: Blue Jays trade Edwin Jackson to Cardinals for Colby Rasmus

The trade deadline is 4 days away and yet nothing worth mentioning has happened until today. Earlier today the White Sox traded starter Edwin Jackson (very underrated starter IMO) and 3b Mark Teahan (salary dump) to Toronto for reliever Jason Frasor and prospect SP/RP Zach Stewart according to Ken Rosenthal. It looks like the White Sox are in full force dump salary mode as they have also put starters John Danks and Gavin Floyd (hello Orioles make a call and bring the hometown boy back) on the trade market.

Now Toronto is sending Jackson to St. Louis for young centerfielder Colby Rasmus according to Rosenthal. Rasmus is an excellent prospect with 5 tool talent but he doesn't get along with the Cardinals organization and more importantly Tony Larussa. The Cardinals need pitching and will put Jon Jay in center to replace Rasmus. This will be the second malcontent on the Jays with Rasmus joining SS Yunel Escobar who was discarded by the Braves last year.

Initial reaction: The Cardinals got a starter they needed in Jackson but didn't get enough for Colby Rasmus. Rasmus still has the ability to turn into a superstar and maybe a change of country will do him good.

Mini Skirt Bowling

Just fast forward to the 1:30 mark and enjoy some bowling. For some bizarre reason I enjoy this bowling more than the crap they put on ESPN at 4 AM. I'm not sure what it is. Feel free to comment why.

Thanks to Dave for the clip.

Jerry Meals Blows Call in 19th Inning

He looked out right? I've looked at every single replay possible and he still looked out by a long shot. I fell asleep last night in the 18th inning so I am not as outraged as I would have been if I saw it live but I kind of figured umpire Jerry Meals would blow a call to decide the game. I just thought it would have gone the other way in favor of the Pirates.

Meals was picking fights all night with the Braves. He threw out Nate McLouth for disagreeing with a called 2nd strike in the 9th. He then tossed manager Fredi Gonzalez for coming out of the dugout to protect McLouth. They were both bullshit ejections in my opinion. Meals was trying to make a point that he is a jackass. Then in the 14th or15th shit I can't remember what inning it was he flipped out when Braves reliever Christian Martinez got mad at a ball call on an outside pitch. He came in front of catcher David Ross, pulled off his mask, and started yelling shit at Martinez while kicking homeplate. Completely unprofessional and enforcing his status as a jackass. So I guess it's no surprise he would botch such an easy call in the 19th inning and call the great Julio Lugo safe at home.

Pirates fans just got flashbacks of Sid Bream. But all is not lost for the Pirates. At least people are talking about you. And that hasn't happened since 1992.

The Braves lost their MVP in Brian McCann to a strained oblique. He goes on the DL today and luckily the Braves have the best backup catcher in the Show in Ross. But the Braves were already struggling to score runs with McCann in the lineup. They need to add a righthanded bat. They needed to add it about 2 months ago. The outfield trio of Nate McLouth, Jordan Schafer, and Jason Heyward has been atrocious in terms of offensive production. It's time to go out and get either a Hunter Pence, Adam Jones, Matt Kemp, or a Carlos Beltran if the Braves are serious about winning a World Series this year. It's not just about making the playoffs Frank Wren. It's about winning the whole fucking thing.

NFL Win Totals Released by MGM SportsBook

Covers.com has the hot, fresh out of the oven, NFL win totals for the 2011 season from the MGM Mirage Sportsbook. It's interesting that it would come out now considering the massive amount of turnover in player personnel which is about to happen in the next week or so. But fuck it right? I want to gamble on football and it's my right to do whatever the hell I want to do with my dirty whore money.

Here are the odds courtesy of the MGM Mirage via Covers.com:


NFC

South
New Orleans Saints 10 (Over +105, Under -125)
Atlanta Falcons 10.5 (Over -105, Under -115)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 8.5
Carolina Panthers 4.5

North
Green Bay Packers 11.5
Chicago Bears 9.5
Detroit Lions 7.5 (Over flat, Under -120)
Minnesota Vikings6.5 (Over -120, Under flat)

East
New York Giants 9.5 (Over -105, Under -115)
Dallas Cowboys 9 (Over flat, Under -120)
Philadelphia Eagles 10 (Over -120, Under flat)
Washington Redskins 6.5 (Over -120, Under flat)

West
Seattle Seahawks 7 (Over flat, Under -120)
St. Louis Rams 7 (Over -120, Under flat)
San Francisco 49ers 8 (Over -120, Under flat)
Arizona Cardinals 6 (Over -120, Under flat)

AFC

South
Indianapolis Colts 10 (Over flat, Under -120)
Houston Texans 8 (Over -115, Under -105)
Jacksonville Jaguars 6
Tennessee Titans 6.5 (Over -115, Under -105)

North
Pittsburgh Steelers 11 (Over flat, Under -120)
Baltimore Ravens 11
Cleveland Browns 6.5
Cincinnati Bengals 7.5 (Over -120, Under flat)

East
New York Jets 10 (Over flat, Under -120)
New England Patriots 11.5 (Over flat, Under -120)
Buffalo Bills 5 (Over -130, Under +110)
Miami Dolphins 8 (Over -105, Under -115)

West
Denver Broncos 6 (Over flat, Under -120)
San Diego Chargers 10
Oakland Raiders 7
Kansas City Chiefs 8 (Over flat, Under -120)

Right now I think I would take the OVER on Tampa Bay (8.5) because I think the Bucanneers defense is going to be much improved and Josh Freeman is a future star QB who will have a huge 2011 season. I see Tampa Bay getting 10-11 wins this season despite playing in the NFC South with the Saints and Falcons.

Also I think you gotta like the direction the Detroit Lions are headed. With a healthy Matthew Stafford and a defense led by dynamic tackles Suh and Fairley I don't see enough reasons why they can't have at least a .500 season. 8-10 wins seems doable for the young Lions.

The Jets will win more than 10 games. They won 11 last year despite having a giant target on their back because of Hard Knocks. Mark Sanchez is entering his 3rd season. Their defense is too good and despite having to replace some key free agents I think Rex Ryan has them in the playoffs with a possible division title at 11-13 wins.

The 3 UNDERS I would take are the 49ers (8), Titans (6.5), and the Bengals (7.5). All 3 of these franchises are on a downward spiral.

The 49ers have a new coach in Jim Harbaugh and play in a horrible division but who the hell is going to be their QB? Matt Hasselbeck? Alex Smith? The Seahawks, Rams, and the Cardinals (if they get Kevin Kolb) are all better on paper than San Francisco. It's way too much to ask them to finish .500 or better.

The Titans only won 6 games last year. They have a completely new coaching staff. They also will have Jake Locker behind center. Let that soak in for a bit. JAKE LOCKER. The Titans are going to be awful in 2011. They will be lucky to win 4 games let alone 7.

The Bengals are a fucking mess of an organization. Shitty ownership who won't trade Carson Palmer like he requested. They got old players at key positions. And they play in the same division as the Steelers and Ravens. Shit the Browns are better than the Bengals now. There is absolutely no way they win 8 games this year despite getting one of the easier out of division schedules in the league.

The NFL Is Back

Fantasy football geeks can breathe a sigh of relief now that the NFL Lockout has officially ended. Today marks the first day of NFL free agency. It's suppose to be mass hysteria as teams scramble to fill needs while staying under the salary cap. Top players such as Nnamdi Asomugha, Sidney Rice, DeAngelo Williams, Mathias Kiwanuka, and Charles Johnson will be playing for new clubs and report to camp just one day or the same day they sign a contract. It's going to be crazy and already the Baltimore Ravens have released veterans such as Todd Heap, Willis McGahee, and Derrick Mason just to create salary cap room. The first preseason game is less than two weeks away and yet 25% of team's rosters are totally up in the air. Will Reggie Bush still be a Saint? Will the Falcons get a pass rusher they so desperately need? Is Peyton Manning going to be ready for the start of the season? Who is the next Pittsburgh Steeler to get arrested?

Too many questions to be answered and the great part is we should find out by the end of the week where every team stands in player personnel. The NFL is back! Murders and DUI's will be avoided.