LSUFreek on Cam Newton

This has to be one of the best ones LSUFreek has ever done. Just perfect. Slow clap.

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Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to take a 175 mph squash ball to the back? This bloke did

Cameron Pilley is the current world record holder for fastest squash ball hit at 175 mph according to his YouTube account. After watching his brother take one straight to the back who am I to argue with speed? Literally there is a chunk of his back dented in from impact. I imagine this is what it felt like to porn actresses back in the day who had the privilege to work with John Holmes. Those Aussies are a lot tougher than they appear. Crazier too.

Via HotClicks

The Avengers Trailer...Fuck Yeah!

Yeah definitely one of those flicks you have to see on the big screen. I'm just going to go ahead and put this out there: The Avengers will smash box office records. Even a semi functional retard like myself can see that. It's like the first time I saw Andrew Luck play against Notre Dame in person or Darren McFadden tote the rock vs Georgia. You just know when you are watching greatness. The Avengers trailer oozes it.

USC Football Has A New Theme Song

I can't wait till Notre Dame sends USC back into the dark ages in 11 days. It's going to be glorious to see the men of Troy cave under their bitch of a coach in Lane Kiffin. Since Kiffin has arrived I'm pretty much positive he's infected the whole program with AIDS. Nobody in their right mind wants to touch them after losing 30 scholarships and a postseason ban of 2 years because of their AIDS. USC is just in a sad, sad state of mind right now. It's time for Brian Kelly and the rest of the Fighting Irish football team to kill them off and give them mercy. RIP USC. Or shall I say FUSC?

Further Proof Virginia Tech Needs to go to the SEC: Lane Stadium Going Crazy

Holy shit I got goosebumps watching the end of this Miami-Virginia Tech game. Metallica's Enter Sandman blaring on the speakers. Hokies everywhere jumping up and down. The place looked like it was going through a fucking earthquake they way it was shaking. This is why Va Tech needs to go to the SEC. They bring passion and emotion and a great atmosphere that you don't see anywhere else. If the SEC wants to continue to dominate the college football landscape I would recommend gobbling up the Hokies and pass on Mizzou.

Video HT: Will Ward

Top 10 College Football

1. LSU-The Mad Hatter completely beat the living piss out of Muschamp and Weis last week 41-11 in a game that wasn't even that close. The Tigers offense isn't spectacular by any means but it is efficient and the defense is right up there with Bama for best in the nation. They should beat the Vols this week by at least 3 scores.

2. Alabama-Bama didn't play great last week but they still covered the 29 pt spread (thank you very much) and handled Vandy with a 34-0 win. If Trent Richardson wants to get more Heisman consideration he is going to have to hope his backup Eddie Lacy doesn't overshadow him. The Tide have a couple of bye weeks ahead with Ole Miss and Tennessee on the schedule before the National Title game Nov. 5th.

3. Stanford-The Cardinal are 5-0 against the spread and continue to absolutely dominate every single team on their schedule. Granted it's not been the best schedule but the fact that Andrew Luck has been near perfect this season and the Cardinal continue to push around the opposition on both sides of the ball tells you how great this team is.

4. Oklahoma-The Sooners dominated Texas behind a defense that created 5 turnovers by a score of 55-17. Landry Jones finally seems to be finding his groove. I could see the Sooners going undefeated and being left out of the BCS Title game especially if FSU which was seen as a quality win continues to shit the bed.

5. Wisconsin-The Badgers had an off week after throttling Nebraska. Looking at their schedule it's a strong possibility they go undefeated considering the Big Ten is kind of shitty and they don't have Michigan on the schedule. Russell Wilson is having a great season but please people, stop with the Heisman talk.

6. Boise State-The Broncos made up for not covering the spread against Nevada the week before by demolishing Fresno State 57-7 last week. Kellen Moore was again near perfect and like Wisconsin I don't see anybody on their schedule beating them. There is a good chance we could have 5 undefeated teams at the end of the year (LSU/Alabama, Stanford, Oklahoma, Wisconsin, and Boise State) and obviously Boise would be left out.

7. Oklahoma State-The #1 scoring offense in the nation put up 56 points in the FIRST HALF against Kansas on their way to a 70-28 win in Stillwater. Granted Kansas has the worst defense in the nation but still, 56 points is damn impressive. The Cowboys have a good team but their defense is fucking terrible. Eventually it will catch up with them. They are ranked 71st in the nation.

8. Clemson-The Tigers slept walk last week against Boston College and still won by 3 TDs. They are on a collision course at Georgia Tech on October 29th in a matchup of what hopefully will be two undefeated teams that don't have a shot at reaching the BCS Title game. Tajh Boyd got a little banged up but should be back this week vs Maryland.

9. Oregon-The Ducks survived a scare when LaMichael James dislocated his elbow vs California but at this point it doesn't matter. The Ducks offense has been unstoppable since losing their opener vs LSU. They could have a tough battle this week vs Arizona State.

10. Michigan-Trust me it pains me to put the Wolverines this high because honestly they aren't as good as their record indicates but they are undefeated and I have to rank them above Georgia Tech and Illinois. They will get a test this week with their in-state rival Michigan State coming to Ann Arbor for a noon clash. It wouldn't shock me to see Denard throw 20 duckfarts up in the air and somehow get 400 yards passing out of it.

Chicks in Thongs Fighting

Usually when I go to a Chinese restaurant I expect a smile, some egg drop soup, pot stickers, and some mongolian beef finished off with a dry fortune cookie. Apparently I've been going to the wrong one since Chin Chin or PF Changs don't have chicks in thongs destroying the shit out of the joint while fighting with no pants on. Seriously what the fuck happened to their bottoms? Trust me I'm not complaining but I'm utterly confused. Have bottoms become optional in Chinese establishments?

College Football Has To Get Rid of The Taunting Rule

In the final outcome it didn't really matter since LSU absolutely throttled Florida and easily covered the 16 points but this new taunting rule is fucking ridiculous. I've watched the replay about 6 times and I can't see anything unsportsmanlike about it. LSU punter Brad Wing was having a little fun going into the endzone and opened up his arms. Big deal. He didn't point at a Gator or flick off anybody or do any high stepping. Are we not allowed to have fun in college football anymore?

The new rule in Section 2 of the NCAA Rule Book says that an unsportsmanlike act (in other words celebrating) will result in "if the penalty occurs before the play is dead, it is ruled a live ball foul and the penalty is enforced from the spot of the foul (where the player's feet are at the beginning of the act)" so not only did Wing get a touchdown taken off his one fucking chance in his life but then LSU got a 15 yard penalty from the spot. This rule is so fucking dumb it's not even up for debate. They are kids who bust their ass and when they finally get a chance at glory the NCAA is going to pull this shit and strip it away. For fucking celebrating?

Obviously I am flabbergasted and feel like I should write a letter to the NCAA complaining about it but then again I am lazy and would rather drink myself into forgetting this ever happened. What I am saying is somebody else needs to contact the NCAA. Just don't do it with your arms spread open or they might pull the Gestapo on you.

LaMichael James is One Tough Hombre

LaMichael James may not be the biggest guy (generously listed at 5'9 185 lbs) but no one can ever question his toughness after this gruesome injury last night vs Cal...


I was watching the game live and when it happened I thought James' right arm exploded. Seriously I almost threw up watching the replay. I thought for sure there was a broken arm, ligaments, elbow, whatever. But nope apparently James is the fucking Terminator who can regenerate himself. Check out his postgame interview...


So yeah there are no broken bones. No ligament damage. And James might play next week versus Arizona State. Holy shit this guy is tough. It takes me weeks to recover from a hard sneeze. But not James. All he has to do is pop his arm back in place, put on a smile, and he is ready to get back on the field.


Yeah no big deal. Just "pop it back in" for James. The junior from Texarkana, TX is no doubt the leader of that Ducks squad. I love his attitude and for a guy who led the nation in rushing last season and currently leads this year you can't ever doubt that he puts everything out on the field. Now excuse me while I go throw up again.

Denard Robinson's Ex Girlfriend Hacked His Twitter Account

Ok let me try to say this as nicely as possible without sounding like a dick and offending my wife, family etc. But what the fuck did Denard Robinson's ex-girlfriend expect? The guy is in college, famous, and probably has every chick with two legs hitting on him and telling him they would do anything for him. Of course he is going to cheat on you. See there is a different code when it comes to famous people and boring people like myself and the other 6 people who read this blog. We don't have females throwing themselves at us. I honestly can't remember the last time a girl tried to get in my pants. And yes I'm including my wife. Love you honey! I can only imagine what it's like for Shoelace. He's the big man on campus. We all know Ann Arbor is a Whore. Denard can't help himself. He's only human. It's like this Ashton Kutcher fucking two chicks in a hot tub story. Of course he is. The guy is fucking famous. Why wouldn't he? I guess I just never understand why these girls get mad when they should know what they are getting into. And the roles could be reverse quite honestly. If I was dating some famous chick, say Jennifer Aniston, I would fully expect her to be banging other dudes on the side. It's a fucked up world but it's the truth. Famous athletes and celebrities don't have to follow the rules. They make them.



Twitter image via BarStoolSports

Vinnie Verno with his LOCKTOBER Picks

Georgia -1 over Tennessee
Texas +10 over Oklahoma
Iowa +4 over Penn State
Alabama -29 over Vandy
South Carolina -21 over Kentucky

Vinnie looks pretty good this week with his picks. Definitely digging the Dawgs Hob Nailed boot pick and the Iowa bermuda grass grows pick. I think UGA wins easily in Knoxville. Nobody in Tennessee wearing creamsicle will be able to stop Orson Charles, Malcolm Mitchell, and Isaiah Crowell. Penn State is complete garbage right now and kind of remind of the Miami Dolphins. I literally cringe anytime those teams are on television because you know it will be the most watered down, boring non fuckfest on tv that day. Bama should cruise over Vandy. But that is a big spread. And honestly I have no clue about Texas and South Carolina covering or beating the spread with their shitty quarterbacks. For all I know Stephen Garcia is shit face right now (chances 99.9%) and "accidently" falls into Marcus Lattimore's leg and Tyrone Prothro's him. So in conclusion I'm going with Vinnie on Georgia, Iowa, and Alabama. But I'm staying away from the Texas and South Carolina picks.

What games do you see as easy money this week? Trust me I need the help. Last week was my first losing week thanks to fucking Georgia Tech and Boise State getting backdoored and Navy getting a bull shit celebration penalty.

Hank Williams Jr. Apologizes for Comparing Obama to Hitler Comments

Hank Williams, Jr. Apologizes from Hank Williams Jr

I think we can all accept Hank Williams Jr. heartfelt apology. He seems contrite. Now WHO'S READY FOR SOME FUTBAWL?

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Colt's Eric Foster Has A Sore Ankle Today

Ouch.

Been there.

Experienced that.

The Colt's season just got a little tougher to handle. Peyton Manning's career is for all intended purposes done and now not only are you 0-4 but you have great guys like defensive lineman Eric Foster going down with flipper ankles. Just absolutely brutal.

Video via TheBigLead

My Top 10 Teams

1. LSU-I'm going to hold it against Les Miles for failing to cover the 3 pts against a shitty Kentucky team this week but if it happens again (Florida this week, cover the 14) then I will drop them to #2. Don't make me do it Mad Hatter.

2. Alabama-Bama has covered every spread this year and dominated in wins over Arkansas and Florida the past 2 weeks. I should probably have them #1 but it's Bama so fuck them.

3. Oklahoma-I'm still not sure what to think about the Sooners. Offensively they are great with Landry Jones but defensively I can't put them up there with LSU and Bama. They did win some big $$$ for me against FSU and if they can do it this week vs Texas I might consider bumping them up.

4. Stanford-Luck and the Cardinal are 4-0 against the spread this year. Why does it matter? Well every week I've bet on Luck and he's been nothing but it. Stanford is the best team nobody talks about because they play on the left coast. They should.

5. Wisconsin/Clemson (tied)-The Badgers have dominated so far and I'm probably underrating them. Clemson has won 3 straight vs ranked teams but they looked bad against Wofford. Both of these teams have a legit chance of going undefeated.

6. Boise State-All they do is win but I'm starting to think they aren't as good as they were the last 3 seasons. The offense has sputtered at times and the defense has given up some big plays. Plus they have not beaten the spread the last 2 weeks and I don't appreciate losing money when they should be blowing out teams.

7. Oklahoma State-I'm still kinda shocked they came back and beat Texas A&M but I shouldn't hold it against them. Offensively they might be the best in the nation. Defensively they are one of the worst. They will get exposed soon. Whatever the over/under is this week vs Kansas go with the over. Trust me.

8. Michigan-3 weeks later and I'm still fucking pissed Notre Dame choked in Ann Arbor. Everyone talks about Shoelace and for good reason but the Michigan defense is playing great under 1st year coordinator Greg Mattison. Right now they are 2nd in the nation in points against.

9. Georgia Tech-The triple option is impossible to stop. Unfortunately for Tech their defense can't stop shit. Next time Tech has the lead by 17 with less than 30 seconds left please take a fucking knee. It's called the victory formation Paul Johnson.

10. Texas-Chances they get completely exposed this week in the Red River Shootout are about 85%. The Longhorns are 4-0 but come on, do they really have a chance this week vs Oklahoma? I'm leaning to NO.

Go Ahead and Give Andrew Luck The Heisman

The best college football quarterback since Peyton Manning had this unbelievable one handed catch against UCLA late Saturday night. I was watching the game and admit I was fully intoxicated at the time after watching Notre Dame and Bama curb stomp their primetime matchups but I literally screamed "HOLY SHIT!" when Luck made the catch. Not only did Luck go 23-27 with 3 TDs and no INTs but more importantly he made me money once again. Stanford covered the 22 points and are now 5-0 against the spread. I've seen all I need to see at this point. Luck is clearly the most outstanding player in college football. It's not even close. Give him the hardware even if Stanford loses to Oregon and Notre Dame at the end of the season. It won't be his fault.

College Football Predictions

Minnesota at Michigan (-20)
Michigan is 4-0 and now Brady Hoke gets his first Big Ten game in the Big House. Expect Denard Robinson to go wild again this week against a 1-3 Gophers team. In a somewhat chilly Ann Arbor the Wolverines should heat up quickly and throttle Minnesota.
Michigan 49 Minnesota 20

Kentucky at LSU (-30)
Total mismatch here. LSU is 4-0 against the spread so far and I'm not about to jump off that money train. The Tigers should run wild against an awful Kentucky squad.
LSU 52 Kentucky 7

Northwestern (+10) at Illinois
Illinois is 4-0 for the first time since 1951. All 4 games have been won at home but they had to comeback and beat Western Michigan a week after squeezing out a tough 3 point victory over Arizona State. Northwestern gets their QB back in Dan Persa. I expect a close game and with Northwestern the huge dog I'll take them.
Illinois 24 Northwestern 21

Georgia Tech (-11) at NC State
Tech is off to their best start since they won the National Title in 1990. NC State is fucking terrible. Georgia Tech leads the nation in points per game, total yards and is 2nd in rushing yards. NC State is 110th in the nation in rushing. Have I mentioned NC State is fucking horrible? Well they are. Plus Tech is 4-0 against the spread so far.
Georgia Tech 45 NC State 17

Baylor (-4) at Kansas State
Two unexpected undefeated teams square off in Manhattan. You know about Baylor and Robert Griffin III. They are third in the nation in total yards and third in the nation in scoring averaging a staggering 51.3 points. Kansas State is coming off an emotional win over Miami. This has letdown game written all over it.
Baylor 42 Kansas State 34

Clemson (+7.5) at Virginia Tech
If you haven't seen Clemson play this year then you are missing one of the most exciting teams in college football. Freshman Sammy Watkins is a special player and he might be the most explosive player in the nation besides Denard Robinson and Robert Griffin. The Hokies again are the favorites to win the ACC and they also come in at 4-0. It's in Blacksburg so I got to favor the Hokies but I think it will be a close game. Gotta take Clemson and the points.
VA Tech 34 Clemson 31

Alabama (-4.5) at Florida
In this kind of close, tough battle games in the SEC it often comes down to who is the better QB. Right now I got to favor Bama's AJ McCarron over Florida's John Brantley. Brantley is going to need to throw the ball beyond 10 yards to attack a vicious Bama defense. He won't have much luck if any. Bama rolls in this one.
Alabama 35 Florida 17

Nebraska (+10) at Wisconsin
Wisconsin hasn't played anybody this season and will be facing their first tough game versus Nebraska in Madison. This is Nebraska's first Big Ten game ever. The Badgers haven't been tested this season but they will tonight. It should be a great game and I expect to come down to a last possession battle.
Nebraska 27 Wisconsin 26

UCLA at Stanford (-21)
Stanford is the best team in the PAC 12 and UCLA is one of the worst. UCLA is giving up over 30 points a game and today they get to face the best pure drop back college football quarterback in the last 20 years in Andrew Luck. Luck will go wild and this game will be over by the third quarter. Rick Neuheisel needs to be fired now.
Stanford 45 UCLA 10


Notre Dame at Purdue (+10.5)
Yeah I know Purdue is horrible and Notre Dame should cruise but in recent history these games have been close. It's a night game in West Lafayette and this is basically Purdue's Super Bowl. I expect Notre Dame to win but it will be close. Notre Dame is 1-3 against the spread so you might as well bet against them again.
Notre Dame 27 Purdue 24

American League Preview and Predictions

Detroit Tigers (95-67) vs. New York Yankees (97-65)

Regular season: Tigers won 4-3

PITCHING

The Yankees are all about C.C. Sabathia and for good reason. The big guy is a proven winner in big games and this season he again was dominant despite fading down the stretch. After C.C. the Yanks are relying on rookie of the year candidate Ivan Nova who hasn't lost a start since June 3rd. There is no fucking way they start A.J. Burnett or Bartolo Colon because not only do they look like gremlins but they both sucked donkey dick this year. So I guess Freddy Garcia will be the 3rd starter and...holy shit...I just looked at Garcia's stats (12-8 3.62 ERA) and he wasn't bad. Shows you how much I paid attention. Yanks have a good bullpen and have an up and comer named Mariano Rivera closing games. You may have heard of him.

Detroit has Justin Verlander who despite his good stats is NOT A FUCKING MVP CANDIDATE! Verlander will go in games 1 and 4 while Doug Fister (best midseason acquisition this year) pitches games 2 and 5. Fister was lights out down the stretch and actually outpitched Verlander. Maybe we should give him the MVP? Enough of the rambling rants, the Tigers have the best closer in the game in Jose Valverde but it will be interesting to see how he pitches in the playoffs. PRESSURE!!!!

ADVANTAGE: Tigers by a slight margin

HITTING

The Yankees hit most homeruns in the majors with 222. Their lineup is sick with Curtis Granderson, Mark Teabag, Robinson Cano, and Alex Rodriguez (if the swelling in his labia goes down) all capable of hitting a shitload of homeruns in that little bandbox stadium they play in. You know Jeter will come through because he is the greatest player to ever wear the #2 jersey for the New York Yankees and both be black and white at the same time. Intangibles and leadership right there.

Detroit has a pretty formidable lineup also with Miggy Cabrera and Victor Martinez capable of driving in a ton of runs. My fantasy team relied on SS Peralta and C Alex Avila this season and they put up All-Star numbers but couldn't quite get me to the finals. Kind of disappointed guys. Next year clean that shit up and perform for me. Enough of my fantasy team, the Tigers have a good lineup but not as good as the Bronx Bombers.

ADVANTAGE: Yankees

COACHING

Dude it's baseball. Just don't fuck up the lineups and make sure you know when your pitchers are done or not. It isn't rocket science.

ADVANTAGE: Jim Leyland's Marlboro

PREDICTION: Tigers in 5



Tampa Bay Rays (91-71) vs. Texas Rangers (96-66)

Regular season: Texas won 5-4


PITCHING

The defending AL Champs have some of the best starting pitching in the majors this season. Lefty CJ Wilson won 16 games and had an ERA under 3. Lefty Derek Holland won 16 games and had a great second half. They have playoff experience (honestly doesn't mean shit) as does Colby Lewis and Matt Harrison. 3 lefties and a righty should present matchup problems for Cano and Granderson. The Rangers also have a strong bullpen with closer Neftali Feliz at the backend.

Tampa Bay is starting Matt Moore in game 1. No I'm serious. The kid who hasn't only started one game in the majors. Whom am I to argue though? Maddon knows his baseball shit. They also have Shields, Hellickson, and Price in the rotation. While their starters matchup pretty well with the Rangers their bullpen doesn't. Kyle Farnsworth is closing games. Enough said.

ADVANTAGE: Rangers

HITTING

The Rangers have the second best lineup in the playoffs behind the Yankees. Josh Hamilton, Nelson Cruz, Ian Kinsler, Adrian Beltre, Mike Napoli, and Michael Young are all crushing the ball. They got shut down last year in the World Series but I think they will be hot versus the Rays.

Tampa on the other hand doesn't have a formidable lineup. Sure they have Evan Longoria but his bat struggled for a large part of the season. Zobrist and Joyce were pleasant surprises and BJ Upton could get hot and steal some bases but I just don't like their lineup. Not even close to the Rangers.

ADVANTAGE: Rangers

COACHING

Hey fuckface did you not hear me the first time? Coaching in baseball is all about not fucking up. With that being said Joe Maddon is a fucking genius who somehow got the Rays into the playoffs with his glasses and his beautiful hair.

ADVANTAGE: Rays

PREDICTION: Rangers in 4

Friday Funbags

Until next week fellas...