RIP Junior Seau

Today the world lost one of the greatest all-time middle linebackers to ever play the game with the shocking news of Junior Seau's death. Seau was one of the most ferocious players on the field while building a Hall of Fame career in San Diego after his collegiate days in USC. Many of middle linebackers wore #55 because of Seau and I think it would be appropriate for USC to retire his number now since so many players pick it because of Junior. While I do tend to give grief to anybody who is associated with USC (even my sister who goes there) I once met Junior while out partying in Buckhead many years ago. Very nice guy and a fun guy to be around was the feeling me and my buddies got that night despite myself pestering him since he was a Trojan.

RIP Junior Seau. You will me missed. Seau is now the 8th member of the 1994 San Diego Chargers AFC Championship team to pass away. The oldest member was 53. Man that just doesn't seem right.

April Fail Video

I can't ever get enough of these fail videos. Especially when it involves kids, dogs, drunk people, and skate boarders. In short a typical weekend at the Fairchilds.

Bryce Harper Has A Great Haircut

Somehow last week I forgot to mention Bryce Harper was going to make his major league debut but between the golf and the drinking it managed to drown itself. But let's not talk about his debut (1-3 with a double and RBI) and instead let's focus on his fantastic coif of hair. It's a combination of Kenny Powers meets Barry Melrose. It's so fucking awful I actually like it. I'm sure the ladies in DC are just ready to run their dirty little hands through his glorious mop.

By the way what the fuck is up with chicks shaving one side of their heads nowadays? I saw Rihanna sporting it (think Gary Oldham's haircut in Fifth Element) and the first thing I thought besides what a disgusting filthy whore she is was my lord what a disgusting filthy dirty whore haircut she has. Please ladies I'm already sick of seeing Pirate hooker tattoos all over your bodies I don't know if I could put up with the Fifth Element haircut. Just stop it please. It's neither trendy or cool. It's just flat out dumb.

Andrew Luck's Girlfriend is a Gymnast

Andrew Luck may not have a Heisman or a National Championship but the #1 NFL Draft pick has a gymnast for a girlfriend. Basically he has all the money in the world and a flexible girlfriend. I would NOT trade that for a Heisman or a ring on any day of the week. In case you were wondering her name is Nicole Pechanec and she is currently a gymnast at Stanford. Feel free to stalk her.

The lesson here kids is if you are really good at throwing a football and have millions in the bank you too can get a hot girl. You just gotta be Luck.

/Brady Quinn nods in approval.

Suck For Luck indeed.

Kate Upton Does The Cat Daddy Dance for Terry Richardson

I don't think words can do this Cat Daddy Dance justice. I'll just let you describe it in your comments. It's Kate Upton's world and we are just living in it.

Roger Goodell Loves Him Some Draft Picks

Candle lit. Barry White music softly playing in the background. The NFL Commish enters the room. He sees massive Memphis DT Dontari Poe. Emotion overcomes him. The mood and timing is just right. He goes in and grabs the young man. Shows him who the boss is.

In all seriousness what the hell is up with the commissioner just going all in with these draft picks? It's like he was trying to bed every single one of them. I know what his game is. Much like a pimp he treats them all nice in the beginning and then when you act up he puts the smack down and takes half of your money. In a way the commissioner is just like our government.

Disturbing Image via TheBigLead

Notre Dame Steals A Recruit From Ohio State, Gets TE Mike Heuerman

Urban Meyer is going to be pissed about this.

Mike Heuerman, the Buckeyes #1 target at tight end and younger brother of current Buckeye Jeff, has decided to go play for Tight End U and picked Notre Dame today.

Heuerman had a final list of LSU, Miami, Ohio State and Notre Dame before the Naples, FL product decided to put in his verbal commitment to Brian Kelly and the Fighting Irish. Of course with all verbal commitments it is non binding so Meyer could get the young tight end to switch before signing day which isn't till February. Heuerman is the 12th man in the 2013 Notre Dame class who've already landed 5 offensive linemen, a quarterback, a wideout(The Admiral's son) and now a tight end.

Orioles Are In 1st Place

Since I've started SportsCrack I can probably count on my two hands the exact amount of days the Baltimore Orioles have been in first place in the AL East. I started the website in 2005 and the Orioles haven't had a winning season since I was a freshman in college back in 1997. But now on this fateful 26th day in April of the year 2012 the Orioles are in fact tied for 1st with the Tampa Bay Rays at 11-7.

Ahhh! I love the smell of victory in the air.

I'm just going to savor the flavor because I know it won't last. Right now their pitching staff has given up the fewest runs in the AL East and we all know that trend won't stick around come September. It's just fun to know that the team is actually capable of winning. It's been 15 years since they even had a winning season and it's why they can only get a little over 10,000 people for a weekday game in the beautiful Camden Yards.

So I tip this beer to my Orioles and toast with the simple saying "a win a day keeps the boo birds away!"

Go O's!

Image via TheChive

I Don't Feel Bad For This Kid And Michael Kay Is An Idiot

Yankees blowhard Michael Kay needs to shut his yapper. Getting a foul ball is not a right. Look do I feel bad for the kid because he cried uncontrollably like some little pansy? Hell no. Man up kid. Life isn't an endless amount of breast milk, chicken nuggets and free foul balls ok. If it were we would still be sipping on a tit instead of paying some Thailand hooker to "play mommy." You gotta earn your keep kid and next time a foul ball comes your way you better start throwing punches instead of hissy fits. Video via TheBigLead

Armands Skeele's Nearly Impossible Basketball Shot

I love how in the Youtube description it says "IMPOSSIBLE SHOT." Hey dipshits he fucking made the shot right? Then it's not "impossible." What a bunch of European assholes. Stick with your pastries and shitty coffee and leave the descriptions up to the Americans ok? Video via Sean

Virginia Tech Tailback David Wilson Can Do Backflips

Don't kill the messenger but I predict VaTech's David Wilson will have a better pro career than Alabama's Trent Richardson. Wilson isn't as big as Richardson but he is more elusive, has better speed, better hands and can catch the ball out of the backfield, and after watching this video he can apparently do a bunch of backflips without even using his hands. If the NFL Draft has proven anything it's that you can find good quality backs not in the top 20. Whoever drafts Wilson (most pundits have him going either late first or somewhere in the 2nd) will be getting a steal. This kid is going to tear it up and I pray that the Atlanta Falcons can somehow trade up to get him. Video via HotClicks

Evan Longoria As Spartacus With Girlfriend Jaime Edmondson

Just another tough day at the office for Tampa Bay Rays Evan Longoria. I honestly couldn't imagine the pain and suffering Longoria goes through on a daily basis. When you think your life is tough and in the dumps just think of what Longoria has to go through. To get paid millions to play a game and then have to go home to a Playboy bunny who dresses you up as Spartacus is no cup of tea. Poor guy. Via HotClicks

Ohio State Football Circle Jerk Before 2012 Spring Game

If you are a Buckeye fan this has to get your scarlet and grey panties in a bunch to see new head coach Urban Meyer firing up the troops in this amazing circle jerk. I've only heard rumors about circle jerks but to actually witness it for the first time in front of 80,000 plus fans is mind blowing. It looks like Urban Nation is going to be ready to roll in 2012. One circle jerk at a time.

USC Football Players Went To Class In Full Uniform

I'm not sure what is more funny. Seeing a USC football player in class (does that actually exist besides Ballroom Dancing 101?) or the complete pointless production of it all? Because make no mistake it's not funny to see QB Matt Barkley walking around in full uniform around the campus. Hell I would think 80% of the student population doesn't even recognize Barkley without his uniform because if you have ever been to a USC football game most of the students couldn't tell you who Reggie Bush is. But whatever. My point is FUSC. Via TheBigLead

Metta World Peace Needs To Change His Name To Metta World Dick

You knew it was only matter of when and not if Ron Artest was going to lose another screw and do something stupid like he did yesterday with this flying elbow on James Harden. Harden went down with a concussion and should be out for at least a few games. Artest aka Metta World Peace should be suspended twice as long as many games as Harden misses. I'm buying his excuses anymore. This was a blatant elbow even if he continues to try to deny it. The NBA Playoffs start this week. Losing Artest would be a huge blow for the Lakers as they will probably lose their first round matchup without him.

Trent Richardson Is A Good Guy, Takes A Cancer Survivor To The Prom

I could make a few obvious jokes but I'm going to restrain myself. The point of posting this video is not to make fun of people. The point is to show how good of a person Alabama tailback and soon to be top 10 NFL pick Trent Richardson is. Somebody had to step up to take 17-year-old cancer survivor Courtney Alvis to her senior prom and Richardson took it upon himself to do it. A great collegiate runningback but an even better person. Tip of the hat to you Trent!

By the way if you would like to help other cancer patients please take a moment to visit the American Cancer Society website. Cancer sucks and hopefully someday we will eradicate it.

Marian Hossa Might Be Dead After This Hit From Raffi Torres

I hope somebody checked Blackhawks forward Marian Hossa's pulse because he just got knocked the fuck out by Coyotes Raffi Torres. It's always good to see that hockey is still a non contact sport. A gentlemen's game for sure.

Video via HotClicks

TAX DAY SPECIAL $5 FOR RELIEF PITCHER T-SHIRT

TODAY ONLY GET THE CLASSIC RELIEF PITCHER SPORTSCRACK.COM T-SHIRT FOR ONLY $5! It's Tax Day so we know you could use a little RELIEF of your own.

Tupac Killed It At Coachella

Dude I would have gone ape shit if I saw this in person. I was a big 2pac fan back in the day. "I ain't a killer but don't push me...revenge is like the sweetest joy next to getting p*ssy...pictures paragraphs are loaded...wide words being quoted" was heard on a loop in my old ride the '87 Nissan 200SX back in the mid to late 90's. This isn't real, it's a holographic 2Pac, but they need to seriously start doing this shit for dead artists. I'm not even joking. I would love to go see a dead Jim Morrison perform "Alabama Song" or Biggie belt out some "Big Poppa." While we are at it why don't we bring back a holographic Rocket Ismail so I can pretend the last 20 years of Notre Dame football never happened. Or maybe a young Cal Ripken before he got all fat and bald? I'm sure the Japanese are on top of it.

By the way the best days of rap were back in the 90's. You had NWA, Dre, Snoop, Ice Cube, Eazy E, Biggie, Too Short, Tupac, etc. just killing it. Today's rap is just fucking horrible. I know I sound like some old asshole who thinks his generation is better but mine really was. I feel bad for college and high school kids these days. Not only do they got to listen to shitty rap but when they are done with school they won't be able to find a decent job and will be saddled with an enormous amount of college debt. See the key to life is to drop out of school, have a few kids, get government assistance and bitch about rich people while you vote for Obama. It's as American as apple pie.

Now excuse me while I pop my hip back in place.

Via WWTDD

Probably Not A Great Idea To "Streak" At A Rugby Match

Rugby player Olly Barkley with the picture perfect form tackle. I've never heard of Olly before this drunk got taken down on the pitch but if I was going to pick a rugby name I think Olly Barkley might be the best suited for one. It's sounds like a superhero name. It would either be Olly Barkley or Steel McNuts.

Via HotClicks