Penn State Athletes React to NCAA Sanctions

Via Irish Chocolate.

What the Hell is Going on Here? Melky Cabrera Actually "Trying"

First Ichiro in a Yankees uniform and now the notoriously sluggish Melky Cabrera making an effort to catch a ball in foul territory...what fucking planet am I on right now? Am I dead? I'm going to need a drink or 20 after watching this.

Lacrosse Bro Gets Knocked Out

I'm going to be completely honest here and don't judge me too harshly. I had no clue that fighting was allowed in lacrosse. Yeah I know I'm originally from Maryland but shit I just never knew fisticuffs were allowed like hockey. I'm definitely going to try to pay less attention to it in the future. See what I did there.

Ichiro on the Yankees

Have I been transported to some alternate universe? It just seems so bizarre to see Ichiro in anything but a Seattle Mariners uniform. I'm getting a little dizzy just looking at him. The future Hall of Famer is on the tail end of his career and is easily having his worst season at the age of 38 since coming over from Japan but I have a good feeling he will be rejuvenated playing in the Bronx...or the Yankees will just go out and get another dinosaur of a contract to play for them.

Rugdy Hit: Dean Young Knocked Out by Greg Inglis

I'm not positive but I think Dean Young might need a new spine after this incredible take out by Greg Inglis. Inglis' hit was so vicious the first time I watched it I believe I had a little bit of piss trickling down my leg. Absolutely terrifying blow by Inglis. Awesome. But yeah I hope Young isn't on a feeding tube or anything because that would totally suck.

Via TheBigLead

Good Knowing You Penn State Football

-$60 million dollar fine.

-4 year bowl/postseason ban.

-Significant scholarship reductions of 10 per year for a four-year period.

-All wins from 1998 to 2011 vacated. Sorry JoePa. You just went from 1st to 7th in head coaching victories.

-All current Penn State football players are eligible to transfer without having to sit out a year.

Basically the Penn State football program is dead. No 5 star recruit is going to want to go to Happy Valley when they know they can't play in the postseason or compete for a conference title. It was good...well...not really...knowing you Penn State football. You protected and knowingly covered up for a serial child rapist on your own campus. This penalty by the NCAA was deserved and justified.

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Taking pre orders now on this exclusive #IrishMob t-shirt. You can still get our soft 100% cotton t-shirt in this style for the low price of $17 but we are also making our first Cool Dri performance t-shirt available for the Irish Mob. It's a light weight 4 oz. 100% polyester performance shirt that compares to the best Under Armour shirts out there but at a fraction of the price. Basically it's great for the summer to work out in or wear to a tailgate or a party without having it cling to you like a normal cotton shirt.

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Pedobear Posing Next To Joe Paterno Statue

Via Deadspin comes the inevitable Pedobear posing right next to the most famous statue ever to be made in honor of a man in Joe Paterno who covered and abetted for a child rapist for over a decade. Now that is some school pride. We Are Penn State!

Jeremy Lin's "Somebody That I Used To Know" Parody Song

What the fuck were the Knicks thinking? They just let their most marketable player since...well...ever...just leave for $6 million dollars extra that the Houston Rockets were willing to pay. Fucking stupid if you ask me. Now maybe Jeremy Lin is a flash in the pan but at least he keeps people talking about your team and sells tickets, gets television viewership, and sells merchandise. He's like Tim Tebow without the virginity cloud glooming over his head.

If you don't like Gotye's "Somebody That I Used To Know" song then you probably hate this parody. I actually like the song even though it's been played 25.6 billion times in the last 24 hours on the radio. Thus I love this parody song. Well done my friends. Now let's figure out a way to get Lin back on the Knicks so I don't have to ship all these leftover Linsanity shirts to all the poor college grads out there. You thought I was going to say Haiti weren't you?

Video via ThePostGame

SEC Media Days Bingo 2012

I got a lot of money riding on "We're Excited" and "Nick Saban Destroys Reporter." Don't let me down now SEC coaches.

Via SBNation

It's Not American but here is a Great Canadian Football Play

Yes we are literally counting down the seconds till football starts but since we still got another 5 weeks till the real thing I give you this highlight from America's Hat: Canada. You don't see many 129 yard missed field goal returns for touchdowns around these parts but that is exactly what Tristan Jackson did last week for the Saskatchewan Roughriders.

Via HotClicks

Delonte West Throws Like A Basketball Player

Does Delonte West still play? Just wondering out loud because if he isn't still banging Lebron's mom while getting the ball in the hoop on the court then he definitely has a promising career as a Major League outfielder. Look at that gun! Bryce Harper and Mike Trout have nothing on Delonte in terms of arm strength.

Via TheBigLead

Jimmy Fallon: At The Bar With Roger Federer

I forgot to mention Roger Federer winning his record tying 7th Wimbledon the other day because...well...he's so fucking boring. Federer is the greatest men's tennis player but like Pete Sampras before him he's got the personality of a dolt. It's probably the main reason why tennis viewership and interest in the United States has steadily declined the last two decades. More people were excited and heartbroken to see runner up Andy Murray cry like a spoiled 5 year old who got his favorite stuffed animal taken away then see Federer hold another Wimbledon Trophy. Tennis could be so much more exciting if all the rich white people in attendance just got drunk like they do at baseball and football games.

Must See Video: Shark Takes Away The Catch of The Day

I can listen to these rednecks scream all day. "OH SHIT...JESUS CHRIST...IT'S A SHARK....IT'S A SHARK!!!....IT'S A BIG ASS SHARK!!!!"

Then the guy acts like his girl can just reel in the shark. Priceless.

This Chipper Jones 2012 All Star Game Speech Brought Tears To My Eyes

After watching Chipper Jones give this inspiring speech to his fellow NL All-Star teammates I have to wonder how there is not already a bronze statue in the clubhouse. This speech will go down with the Tebow speech at Florida and the "Win one For The Gipper" speech from some unknown football coach at a tiny Jewish school in lower Michigan. I literally had tears flowing while listening to Chipper mumbling to his teammates who pretended to care that this was his final All-Star game. This speech just makes me one go out and.... take a nap.

By the way this is one of the reasons why baseball coaches are overrated at the MLB level. You can't give inspiring speeches to ballplayers. It just doesn't work. Sure I can see it working in football or basketball where a player can take over a game but in baseball it's rare unless it's the pitcher. And even they could care less about it being your last game. You think Matt Cain threw better last night because of Chipper's speech?

Patriots Owner Bob Kraft Is Banging This Actress Named Ricki Noel Lander, Has an Audition Tape

Good for Bob Kraft. Instead of wallowing in self pity over the death of his beloved wife, Myra, last July after a battle with cancer he is out banging a 32-year-old "actress" named Ricki Noel Lander.

Kraft is 71 so it's not weird at all for Ricki to be dating a guy who is old enough to be her grandfather. The rumor is this audition tape is for a new Vince Vaughn film called "Internship" which is actually be filmed here in Atlanta.

You gotta love Kraft's acting chops. He had me totally convinced the whole time he was some lonely old man at a strip club trying to pick up a trick. It's almost like he went undercover to study the role.

Video via Barstool Sports

Jose Canseco's Old Milwaukee Commercial

So Old Milwaukee still tastes like shit and does steroids? Fantastic. Can't wait to try it again.

David Letterman's Top Ten Fun Facts About The All-Star Game

I honestly can't remember the last time I watched David Letterman. Probably late 90's if not earlier. Which makes me wonder if any of these MLB All-Stars actually know who David Letterman is. Jared Weaver looked lost, high, or whatever with that "happening mullet."

Via ExtraMustard

This Lightning Strike in Arlington Looked Fun

Yeah not scary at all. Now excuse me while I go wipe the piss off my leg.

Trout For MVP Anaheim Baseball T-Shirt

Here is the newest SportsCrack.com t-shirt called TROUT FOR MVP. If you saw his amazing catch in Baltimore you know that this Trout can jump and fly with the best of them. We are taking preorders now. Shipping starts July 9th on these limited edition Trout For MVP t-shirts. As always a portion of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society.