2016 Heisman Trophy Las Vegas Odds Are Out

If you are an enthused gambler or college football fanatic or 100% degenerate like myself you love it when the 2016 Heisman Trophy Vegas Odds come out.  Bovada recently released their odds (June 7 2016) so I figured I would dissect it.

1) Deshaun Watson (QB Clemson) +350

Last year at this time Ezekiel Elliott was the Vegas favorite at +600 and he went on to finish 8th in the voting despite Ohio State only losing one game.  Being the preseason favorite is usually a kiss of death.  Every game is under a microscope starting Labor Day weekend.  Any little misstep can torpedo a Heisman.  And for this reason I wouldn't throw money on Watson.  He's the top QB in the nation for a top 5 team but I would be surprised to see him stay healthy this season.

2) Leonard Fournette (RB LSU) +400

We all know BUGA is going to get his yards.  Les Miles will feed the beast and hope Fournette can carry them to a SEC Title.  Derrick Henry won it last year because he got 25+ carries a game.  It wasn't because he was the best player in the nation.  He just had the most yards for a National Championship team.  If Fournette gets 2000 yards and 20 TDs he's going to win the Heisman.  He was the odds-on favorite in early October last year till BAMA stuffed him for 31 yards.  Likewise this year the Bama game will decide if he has a chance at taking home the hardware come December.

3) Christian McCaffery (RB Stanford) +500

I've said it before but McCaffery should have won the Heisman last year.  He had 3800 total yards (NCAA record) and finished 2nd.  This year he will have all eyes, especially defensive coordinators, on him.  I don't think he comes close to replicating or even exceeding his numbers just because every body will be keying in on him and Stanford has a new line and QB.

4) JT Barrett (QB Ohio State) +1000

If I was a betting man (HINT) this is who I would be throwing my mortgage on.  JT Barrett finished 5th as a freshman in 2014 in the Heisman because he was the starter for most of the season after Braxton Miller got hurt.  Last year he split QB duties with Cardale Jones.  This year he is the man in Columbus.  In Urban's offense and with Ohio State's favorable schedule he's going to put up monster numbers.  I see around 5000 total yards with 40 plus TDs on his stat sheet.

5) Chad Kelly (QB Ole Miss) +1200
The only way Kelly has a chance at the Heisman is if he goes on a Johnny Football type run, beats Bama, and gets Ole Miss to the SEC Championship.  In other words it's not going to happen.

6) Dalvin Cook (RB FSU) +1200

One could make a strong argument for Cook as the best back in the nation.  He will be featured again and if he can stay healthy has the ability to rush for over 1700 yards for a top 5 team.  I think at the very least he's got a shot at an invite to NYC.

7) Baker Mayfield (QB Oklahoma) +1200

Mayfield finished 4th last season in the Heisman and should be the frontrunner out of the Big 12 conference.  If Oklahoma reaches the playoffs with Mayfield leading the charge he has as good of a shot as anybody else.

8) Nick Chubb (RB Georgia) +1400

I love Chubb but he has no shot this season at the Heisman.  He's coming off a horrific knee injury vs Tennessee and will be splitting carries with Sony Michel.  Plus Georgia has a rookie coach and a freshman QB.  Those things don't equate to Heisman contender.

9) Josh Rosen (QB UCLA) +1600

No shot.  Too young and immature at this stage.  Needs to grow up and be a leader before we start talking Heisman.

10) Royce Freeman (RB Oregon) +2000

Be tough for Freeman to come out of the huge McCaffery PAC 12 shadow he casts.  A 2000 yard season gets him some serious talk but I don't think Oregon is going to be a top 20 team this season.

11) Samaje Perine (RB Oklahoma) +2000

He would have to compete with his teammate in Mayfield.  Safe bet is no real shot unless Mayfield goes down with an injury and Perine carries the team to a playoff spot like Henry did last year.

12) Calvin Ridley (WR Alabama) +2500

No shot.  If guys like Randy Moss and Larry Fitzgerald can't win it with outstanding seasons at the WR position then there is no way in hell Ridley has a chance.

13) Joshua Dobbs (QB Tennessee) +2500

Hahahaha I don't even need to tell you why he has no shot.  Seriously Vegas?  Dobbs?  Come on man.

14) Brad Kaaya (QB Miami) +3300

SMH another one for Vegas.  The only way Kaaya contends is if he can beat Notre Dame and FSU.  Not happening.

15) Patrick Mahomes (QB Texas Tech) +3300

I don't know what to say about these odds.  It should be more like a trillion-to-one.

Manny Machado Charging the Mound Gets The WWF Jim Ross Call

These classic Jim Ross calls get me every fucking time.  My sides are hurting from laughing so hard.  I don't think you could find a guy in the MLB more deserving to get their ass kicked than Royals pitcher Yordano Ventura.  The little fucker has been starting shit the past two seasons with every team he has faced.  He thinks he's Pedro Martinez without near the talent or the brains.  Luckily Manny Machado put him back in his place tonight.  You want to throw at Manny 3 times?  Fine.  But once you hit him you best expect to get your ass kicked.   Mark Trumbo immediately hit a two-run homer after Manny's ejection and Crush Davis followed with another bomb to make it back-to-back and the rout was on.  9-1 Orioles victory and they will go for the sweep tomorrow.  Manny will get a suspension no doubt but we might look back at this fight and remember it as the time the Orioles came together for the greater good against the defending World Series Champs and helped propel themselves to their own championship.

Machado doing his best to "Make Baseball Fun Again!"

2016 Continues to Take Down the Legends #2016Deaths

If you are a legend God have mercy on your life in this calendar year.  First we lost David Bowie to cancer.  Then we lost Prince to pills.  Harambe the gorilla goes down because of a 4-year-old invading his space.  It continued with Muhammad Ali losing his long battle with Parkinsons last week and late last night we heard Youtube legend Kimbo Slice died suddenly at the age of 42.  And the RIP tributes continue this week as we bid farewell to the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Shit That Drives Me Nuts: Players with Mouthguards

I'm not talking about boxers, hockey players, football players. rugby, lacrosse or whatever contact sports that you play where there is a good chance you could lose a tooth without one.  I'm talking about the fucking basketball players and baseball players who chew on them for no god damn good reason.  We get it Steph Curry.  You are a great shooter.  But why in the hell do you need a mouth guard?  Why does Orioles starter Kevin Gausman insist on chewing on the damn thing after every half inning?  I imagine a pacifier was too gay for them so they went with a mouth guard for "safety" reasons.

Whatever it is please stop it.

Don't Ever Turn Your Back on a Lion

Well unless it's from Detroit and wears the silver and blue.  This young boy would have seen his life flash by faster than Barry Sander's career but thanks to the power of glass he's no longer dinner.  Just don't go jumping inside the cage.  We wouldn't want to have to kill the animal because your parent was too busy Tweeting about one of the monkeys throwing their own feces.

2016 Notre Dame Football Preseason Grades

A lot of people including myself are underestimating how good Notre Dame could be this season.  I think it's because of the way the season ended with a heart-breaking last-second loss to Stanford to eliminate their playoff hopes and then following that up with the curb-stomping they took vs Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl.

But make no mistake ND returns a ton of firepower to team 128 with as much depth as any in 20-plus seasons.

Let's take a look at the positions and hand out some preseason grades:

It starts off with the quarterback position.  This is the most talented and deep the QB position has been at ND since I can remember.  All 3 QBs could be starters at 90% of other schools.  Redshirt freshman Deshone Kizer stepped in for the injured Malik Zaire in the 2nd game of the season and led them to 9 victories with narrow losses to Clemson and Stanford not really his fault.  Zaire will battle him for the starter's job and brings a 3-0 career starting record including wins vs LSU and Texas.  Brandon Wimbush might have the best arm but the plan for now is to redshirt him since they failed to do so last year because of Zaire's injury.  ND has a great problem to have right now at the QB position and it's similar to what Ohio State was facing last year with JT Barrett, Cardale Jones and Braxton Miller. (PRESEASON GRADE: A)

The running back position returns starters Tarean Folston and Josh Adams.  Folston is coming off a game one knee injury but is expected to be fully recovered for summer practice.  Adams, "the majestic gazelle" as I call him, comes off a record-setting freshman season in which he averaged over 7 yards a carry.  Also returning is highly thought of Dexter "Juice" Williams who along with Folston and Adams forms a treacherous trifecta of galloping horses in the backfield.  The four horsemen should be alive and well this fall with contributions also coming from Justin Brent and perhaps from one of the incoming freshmen.  (PRESEASON GRADE: A-)

A concern for ND going into the season is how to replace the electric WR Will Fuller.  Fuller had an incredible knack to make the big play at crucial situations and his combined 29 TD catches the past two seasons often were 40 plus yards.  Combine his loss along with Chris Brown and Amir Carlisle and ND is looking at a whole new starting crew at the WR position.  The good news is they have plenty of talent, just unproven at this point.  Look for breakout performances from Torii Hunter Jr. and Equanimous St. Brown.  I expect both to combine to replicate the numbers Fuller and Brown put together last year.  A slew of talented sophomores (Corey Holmes, CJ Sanders, Miles Boykin) and freshman (Kevin Stepherson, Javon McKinley, Chase Claypool) sprinkle the depth chart to which should burst as the season heats on.  The TE position returns starters Durham Smythe (returning from knee injury) and sophomore Alize Jones who could become a Tyler Eifert-type weapon especially in the red zone for whomever is throwing the ball.  Nick Weishar and Tyler Luatua provide starting quality depth on the 2nd/3rd string for what has solidified Tight End U.
(WR/TE PRESEASON GRADE: C+)

The offensive line lost starters Ronnie Stanley, Nick Martin and Steve Elmer.  None of them will be easily replaced in terms of starts but ND is flushed with talent, size and depth thanks to line coach Harry Hiestand.  The next great offensive lineman/first round talent appears to be Mike McGlinchey who will be moving from right-to-left tackle to replace Stanley.  "Big Mike" has a meaner streak in him than Stanley and it wouldn't be surprising to see him develop into a NFL top 10 pick also.  The tools and build are all there for him.  Just to McGlinchey's right is another player in Quenton Nelson who is also a tough SOB who can pancake his fair share of interior linemen.  With McGlinchey and Nelson on the left side Kizer will not have to worry about his blind side.  Center is a question mark with Sam Mustipher edging out Tristen Hoge early on as Martin's replacement.  On the right side of the line you have Hunter Bivin at guard and Alex Bars at tackle.  Along with QB the depth on the offensive line is unmatched with plenty of underclassmen ready to step in if injuries occur.  I fully expect ND to control the line of scrimmage throughout the season.
(OL PRESEASON GRADE: B)

The standard motto of "defense wins championships" will again be tested by a ND group which loses a ton of starters at every level on the field.

The defensive line loses captain DT Sheldon Day and DE Romeo Okwara.  Nobody can replace Day's infectious play and motor.  But luckily ND has plenty of bodies including the likes of Jarron Jones, Jerry Tillery, Daniel Cage among others ready to make a huge impact in the run stop game.  One huge hole for the Irish has been getting to the QB with pressure from the defensive end position.  For ND to compete with the big boys and a playoff spot they need likely captain Isaac Rochelle and Andrew Trumbetti to take the next step up and produce sacks/pressures/turnovers.  To often in recent years the opposing QB has had plenty of time to pick apart a defense because his pocket was protected.  If Rochelle, Trumbetti, Jones and Cage all live up to their potential this defensive line could be the best since 2012.  It's a big if though.
(DL PRESEASON GRADE: C+)

Captains and starters Jaylon Smith and Joe Schmidt are both gone but the linebacking crew in my opinion could be more productive this season.  ND relied so heavily on Jaylon to make big plays and be all over the field and Schmidt to make "the right calls/reads" on defense that opponents both game planned away from Jaylon while targeting Schmidt.  And let's be honest the defense last year was pretty bad if not down right shitty at times.  The one returning starter is at the SAM position in senior James Onwualu.  I think Onwualu has the ability to have a huge senior season.  He's shown he can get to the QB and with the right schemes I think he has a tremendous season.  Nyles Morgan is another breakout performer waiting to happen as he finally starts at middle linebacker.  All of the preseason practices have been nothing but adulation from observers for the highly touted Morgan.  In my mind and a lot of other ND fans we are both extremely giddy to see Morgan start at the MIKE position.  At the WILL position we have Te'von Coney and Greer Martini battling it out for the starter's role.  Redshirt freshmen Asmar Bilal and Josh Barajas should also see significant time on the field and could compete for a starting position this summer.  With Onwuala, Bilal, Morgan, Martini, Coney and Barajas I expect the linebacker position to be the surprise of the 2016 season.
(LB PRESEASON GRADE: B)

The secondary much like the linebacking core loses two starters but I think it will also be better in 2016.  At the safety position you have do-it-all Drue Tranquill back from another knee injury, this one while celebrating vs Georgia Tech.  Before the injury Tranquill was having a solid season and the ND defense looked a lot faster and smarter with him in there.  Fingers crossed he has a healthy season because I think he could be ND's best strong safety since Harrison Smith.  At the other safety position you have an early enrollee freshman in Devin Studstill.  Studstill is a true ballhawk at the free safety position and was a tremendous recruiting steal for Brian Kelly and his staff from the state of Florida.  All reports on Studstill have been so positive that he's jumped senior Max Redfield on the depth chart.  While many think that's being used solely by the coaches to motivate Redfield I honestly think Studstill is the better player overall and will be starting week 1 in Austin, TX.  With Redfield and six-year senior Avery Sebastian as the backups ND has to hope they can stay injury free at the safety position because there is a tremendous drop off in experience behind them with 4 incoming freshman.  The starting corners will be Cole Luke and Shaun Crawford.  Luke had a difficult 2015 season but should turn in a good senior season.  Crawford is a redshirt freshman coming off a knee injury (I know shocker right?) but has been graded by observers and media personnel as one of if not the most talented secondary players in the Kelly regime.
(SECONDARY PRESEASON GRADE: B)

The kicking game returns both starters in placekicker Justin Yoon and punter Tyler Newsome.  Yoon hit 15-17 field goal attempts, a lot of them pressure-packed, during an outstanding freshman season.  Newsome averaged over 45 yards per punt and was great with directional punts to pin opponents inside the 20 yard line.  Both Yoon and Newsome are legit All-American candidates with 3 years of eligibility left.
(KICKING PRESEASON GRADE: A+)

FINAL PRESEASON REPORT CARD:
A+ - KICKING GAME
A - QB
A- - RB
B - OL, LB, SECONDARY
C+ - WR, DL

CATHOLICS VS CONVICTS 2016 SHIRTS BUY HERE

"BEAT SPARTY" 2016 SHIRTS BUY HERE

Tom Brady Packing Heat on the Golf Course

Some guys just have all the luck.  Tom Brady is one of the guys.  Dude is packing a baby arm while canoodling with young lassies on the golf course.  Bravo Tom Brady.  Bravo.

Callie Bundy Can Throw a Better Spiral Than Reggie Ball/Nebraska QBs

First off we need to thank the inventor of yoga pants.  I'm too lazy to look it up but you, whomever it may be, single handedly have created something as valuable as air conditioning.  Yoga pants are an instant mood changer and have saved millions of lives while also destroying trillions of man swimmers.  Second off I don't give a shit if this Callie Bundy throws like she is shot putting a bean bag.  She has way more accuracy than Reggie Ball or any Nebraska QB for that matter could ever dream of.  And she also looks extremely hot doing it.  You don't think Calvin Johnson would have come back for another season on the Flats if Bundy here was throwing him the rock?  Absolute no brainer and it's probably what was the ultimate downfall of Chan Gailey at Tech.  And now since Nebraska has dog shit for a QB I suggest they recruit the hell out of Bundy.  Give her all the yoga pants she could ever want.  Make her the next Kathy Ireland of college football.  It's up to you Mike Riley.  Don't fuck it up.

You can check out more of Callie Bundy at her Instagram page you know for research purposes of course.

Vin Scully Recites "Field of Dreams" People Will Come Speech Will Give You The Chills

People will come, Vin.

Vin Scully recites the most iconic speech from a baseball film ever. #HallofFameTourhttps://t.co/ci59idkKOW

— MLB (@MLB) May 26, 2016

No lie I think my whole body just orgasmed.  I'm seeing spots.  I just blacked out listening to legendary Dodgers announcer Vin Scully recite James Earl Jones famous "Field Of Dreams" People Will Come speech.  Throw in clips of Jackie Robinson stealing home, Ozzie Smith doing his flip, Cal Ripken Jr. saluting the crowd and I'm surprised I'm not dead by now.  Baseball is as American as it can get and on this Memorial Day weekend I'm fortunate I get to take my son Camden to a baseball game and pass on my love for the game to him.

Army's Kasey McCravey With The Slide/Not Slide Acrobatic Kung Fu Move of the Year

Kasey McCravey goes A I R B O R N E to score for @ArmyWP_Softball in the PL Tournament #GoArmy #SCTop10https://t.co/Cx9S3Y7Sgf

— ArmyWestPoint Sports (@GoArmyWestPoint) May 14, 2016

I believe this is a first in SportsCrack history.  Drum roll please.  Zip up those pants captain.  Yes, we got ourselves a softball post.  Holy shit we just made history.  Women can play sports too!

All sarcasm aside this jump move by Army's Kasey McCravey over the Lehigh catcher has got to be the best non slide ever.  I don't usually get impressed but myself and the other 99.99% of people reading this would have no shot at all jumping over the catcher.  It would be a disaster even trying it.  I'm positive a bone would have come popping out somewhere if I attempted to jump over the catcher. And she didn't even get touched while reaching back with the sneaky tag of home plate!

Texas Rangers' Rougned Odor Lands One of the All-Time Great Punches on Toronto Blue Jays' Jose Bautista's Face

No lie I have the biggest bulge in my pants just watching this right cross from Texas Rangers' second baseman Rougned Odor stun resident douche bag Jose Bautista.  I've been waiting years, decades,  for somebody in baseball to finally have the balls and throw a punch and actually land one in a fight.  Odor finally got one and to top it all off it landed right on Bautista's fat fucking face.  The only thing that would have made this better is if it was David Ortiz's face.  But beggars can't be choosers so thank you Odor.  You are a baseball God in my book.

Odor MADE BASEBALL FUN AGAIN yesterday!

Thank you to whoever made this Mike Tyson punch out video too!

"Catholics vs Convicts" 2016 T Shirts Now For Sale

IT'S BACK!  ONE OF THE FIERCEST, MOST HATED RIVALRIES IN ALL OF SPORTS IS BACK THIS FALL!

Get the one and only "Catholics vs Convicts" t-shirt here!

Bryce Harpers Get Ejected, Tells Umpire "Fuck You" as Nationals Walk-Off

I thought Mormons didn't say curse words. Granted Bryce Harper is no normal Mormon by any stretch but that's not very nice to say "fuck you" to the home umpire. Umpires have feelings too Bryce.  Apparently this umpire is very sensitive because he ejected you for disagreeing with Espinosa's strike zone. Maybe next time you run out with some "Make Baseball Fun Again" hats and some ultra absorbent pads for ole Blue.  For sure that will get him on your side.

Laremy Tunsil Responds To NFL Draft Stock Dropping

Laremy Tunsil Responds To Pot-Smoking Fallout from Funny Or Die

Lou Holtz Endorfes Donald Trumf Prethadent of the United Thates

Honored to have received the endorsement of Lou Holtz - a great guy! #INPrimary #Trump2016 pic.twitter.com/AeGyODb37O

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 2, 2016

Well you can go ahead and ring the bell now because the race for the Presidency is officially over! The one and only Lou Holtz aka Win One for the Spitter has given his official "endorfes" for Donald Trumf as the next "prethadent" of the United "Thates." This pretty much locks up Indiana for Trump and seals the Republican nomination.


Buy the Make America Great Again Hat here! 

Dodgers Celebrate Breaking a 6-Game Losing Streak by Doing the Running Man Dance

We win!! #runningman #popcornremix

A video posted by Alex Wood (@awood45) on May 1, 2016 at 3:30pm PDT

That is hot shit right there folks! The Running Man dance has come back strong in 2016. The Maryland Terps basketball team restarted the trend and now it's moved all the way to the left coast.

Yasiel Puig Just Gave me a Baseball Boner with This Missile Throw

310 feet through the air. 310 fucking feet. Are you kidding me? Yasiel Puig just made one of the best throws I've ever seen getting Rockies Trevor Story out at 3rd base from deep right center. Puig's throw basically hit 3rd base so Justin Turner didn't have to move his glove. Who says baseball isn't exciting? You try to throw a pisser like that.

David Shaw Throws a Verbal Haymaker at the SEC Conference, Calls Southerners Not Good Enough for Stanford

I'm sure this is really going to help you recruit nationally. pic.twitter.com/BSCNsqH9hA

— Paul Finebaum (@finebaum) April 11, 2016

You know I've always thought of Stanford's head coach David Shaw as a bit of a douche prick and this quote pretty much confirms it.  One part of me loves the complete honesty especially in today's BS PC culture where you got to walk on eggshells not to offend anybody.  But Shaw is basically calling Southerners, one of which I am, idiots who couldn't get into Stanford.  Well yeah.  I can't get into Stanford.  Fuck.  He's right.  Fuck you Shaw.

By the way imagine if a white coach said this?  The media would tear his ass apart.  Like if Brian Kelly said this he would be called a racist asshole.  But since Shaw said it they kind of just sweep it under the rug and say "well he's got a point."

6 and O's

With Crush Davis's 3-run blast to dead center off Red Sox closer Craig Kimbrel the Orioles sit atop the standings with a Baltimore franchise record 6-0 start.

If you recall many if not all of the "experts" predicted the Orioles to finish dead last in the AL East.  The same squad who since 2012 has the best record in the American League.  The same team who returned basically everybody with the best coach in the senior league in Buck Showalter.  But yeah those "experts" seem to know what they are talking about when they predict the Orioles to win 69 games.

I almost feel bad for all the baseball sabermetrics nerds who continue to shit on the Orioles.  They strike out too much they say.  They don't have high OBPs.  They don't have good WHIPs and blah blah blah.  Who gives a shit is what I say.  Their whole lineup can hit the 3-run homer as witnessed yesterday in Boston as Mark Trumbo and Davis hit them vs the Red Sox's high priced acquisitions in David Price and Kimbrel.

I'm not saying the Orioles are going to run away with the division since we are only in the first week of the season.  It would be downright foolish to think the Yankees, Sox, Rays and Blue Jays won't eventually catch up to the high flying Charm City Bashers.  But anyone who thought the Orioles would shit the bed this season because of sabermetrics simply needs to shut the fuck up and stop talking about baseball.  Or better yet watch a fucking game you nerds.

2016 CFB Defensive Player Breakout Candidate: ND MLB Nyles Morgan

For whatever reasons we didn't see a whole lot of middle linebacker Nyles Morgan last year. In 2016 Morgan will be starting and looking to make a major impact as Joe Schmidt's replacement. Not only will he make an impact but I think he's going to be the breakout star on the defensive side of the ball for the Fighting Irish.

The knock on Morgan (which I believe have been exaggerated) has been his inability to line up the defense. The middle linebacker is the "quarterback of the defense" and in defensive coordinator Brian Van Gorder complicated defense with numerous assignments and alignments the MLB is responsible for Morgan was seen as not nearly as advanced as the slower and less athletic Schmidt.  This will change in 2016 as from all reports Morgan has been the best overall defensive player on the field this spring.

While I'm not ready to establish #5 as the next Manti Te'o/Jaylon Smith I'm extremely excited to see what Morgan can do with a defense that struggled a lot in 2015.  Morgan was a much hyped 4 star recruit who was seen as an instant impact type player.  Two years into his collegiate career and it's been hard to tell if Morgan would ever live up to his lofty prep ranking.

This year watch out for #5.  Not only will he lead the team in tackles but I see him contending for All-American honors.