DREAM COME TRUE

I watched the whole Little League World Series game yesterday not because I like little boys but because I like to see ballplayers hustling and giving it their all (I'm looking at you Andruw Jones). Watching Dalton Carriker hit a walk-off game winning home run has got to be the pinnacle of his life. As soon as he hit it his face lit up like he saw he first live nipple the thought that came to my degenerate mind was "he is going to get so much ass tonight." Is that wrong? If you are 12 years old and you just became a national hero on national television wouldn't you expect just a little action. You know Carriker is never going to have a bigger moment in his life. He could come up with a cure for cancer but still people will remember him as the kid with braces who made Japanese kids cry.

All right, I'm going to try to stop acting like an asshole and say congratulations to the Warner Robins little league team. You made this Georgian baseball player proud the way you played the game and I don't think I've seen a better moment than immediately after the game when both teams were hugging each other. It takes a lot for me to get choked up but to see those young Japanese kids crying because they knew they would have to go home and take a lashing for their incompetence; and yet the big, proud Americans embraced them and showered them with hugs shows that this is the greatest, most powerful country in North America.

U-S-A bitches.