SO YOU ARE SAYING I HAVE A CHANCE
Erin Andrews, aka the only reason to not turn the channel when ESPN is on, offers us her favorite places in Atlanta to chill and enjoy a cold one with the ladies. I still can't believe she didn't mention the Sportscrack headquarters. I understand Erin, keep it down low.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Friday, July 20, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GISELE BUNDCHEN
Today not only do you turn 27 but your boyfriend Tom Brady is expecting his first child from another woman, Bridget Moynahan, on this exact day! Why can't we all be so lucky? The long-legged Brazilian supermodel has been turning heads ever since I busted...err, I mean she busted upon the fashion world back in the 90's.
Here is a cheers, or shall we say Salud, to you Ms. Current Tom Brady's girlfriend until he knocks you up and dumps you for Jessica Biel lady!
ANOTHER BUCKEYE BUSTED
Okay, it's a former Buckeye named Jason Simmons who was arrested earlier this week for having sex with a 14 year old girl. Apparently Simmons played football in the early 90's with the Suckeyes, I can't seem to recall him playing...probably because I'm not an underage minor girl, at least that is what I tell myself.
What is up with these people with affiliations to "The" Ohio State University who either fondle themselves in libraries:
or get caught talking to Chris Hansen on "To Catch a Predator?"
It's just a matter of time till Sweatervest is caught. Because remember children, never trust a man in a sweatervest or a man affiliated with Ohio State. Getting a child close to a Buckeye is about as stupid as leaving your dog over with Michael Vick.
LIGHT POSTING TODAY
Sorry people, I'm closing on a house next Friday and dealing with a lot of paperwork and manual labor to insure the closing. I figured I would leave you something to watch, althought I wouldn't recommend watching it at work:
A LITTLE GINA GERSHON AND JENNIFER TILLY ACTION FROM BOUND
Hottest Scene Ever Jennifer Tilly & Gina Gershon - The funniest videos clips are here
Thursday, July 19, 2007
New Nike Air Zoom Vick V
Dog lovers and humanitarians rejoice, Michael Vick's new shoe has been put down.
At least for now, Nike has suspended the release of the puppy killer according to SI.com. This statement was released by Nike today:
Nike Co. "is concerned by the serious and highly disturbing allegations made against Michael Vick, and we consider any cruelty to animals inhumane and abhorrent. We do believe that Michael Vick should be afforded the same due process as any citizen; therefore, we have not terminated our relationship."
I feel so bad for Ookie. How is he going to be able to feed his dogs?
All joking aside I hope Ookie is not guilty of these awful crimes he has been accused of but if he is then I hope the fucker gets castrated by one of his pit bulls. Ask Siegfried and his leather chapped boy toy Roy Horn what it is like to feel the vengeance of an animal that doesn't want to play anymore.
EX-TERP STAR BAXTER GUILTY OF BEING A MORON
In another case which falls in the dumb athlete of the year award along the likes of Michael Vick, Pacman Jones, and Tank Johnson; former Maryland Terp basketball star Lonny Baxter plead guilty today to illegally shipping guns...through, get this...FEDEX!
How fucking stupid can you be to think it is okay to ship firearms using UPS or FedEx? To top it all off it's his second gun offense in less than a year. Baxter was last spotted near the White House firing off a weapon which got him arrested by the Secret Service and a sentence of two months in jail.
Either players are getting more dumb by the minute or the apocalypse is upon us. After watching the Cardinals win the World Series last year I'm going to say apocalypse.
43 DAYS AND COUNTING
Till we pull out of our summer hibernation and enjoy the best holiday of the year: College Football Saturdays in the fall.
Watch and learn he says:
Still the greatest call to ever end a game, to this day I still get the goosebumps when Joe Starkey screams "the band is on the field."
ATLANTA PUBLIC TV: PENIS POWER VS VAGINA POWER
I can't even try to explain without laughing. Just watch ho's, and don't even pretend to act like yo don't kno wut she is talkin bout!
HT: BarStoolSports
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
DARREN MCFADDEN'S PIMP RIDE
Orson found a beauty here, but the only thing missing is Snoop with some Gin and Juice and some dead hookers/cheerleaders.
I would think the crazy son of a bitch named Houston Nutt would hook the players up with better rides. This sort of thing doesn't happen at respectable Universities like Georgia or Florida. They get "loaners" otherwise known as BMW's.
COLIN "SHITBIRD" COWHERD TO REPLACE DAN PATRICK?
For the love of God I hope this isn't true. The guys over at SportsbyBrooks are reporting the no-talent ass clown who constantly talks about himself and the "who gives a shit" topic of sports television ratings on his ESPN Radio show is making a case to replace Dan Patrick.
I will be the first to admit I actually kind of enjoyed his show when I started listening a couple of years back(translation: I was a drunk meth addict). Now I can't listen to more than 2 minutes of his BS. It would be one thing if he actually knew what he was talking about but he doesn't.
Witness his recent appearance in front of an audience when asked about the importance of eliminating performance enhancing drugs in sports:
Add this to the crap programming such as Weiner eating contests, NASCAR coverage, spelling bees, and Pedro Gomez stalking Barry Bonds, and you can see why ESPN now stands for EMBARRASSING SPORTS PROGRAM NETWORK.
I'm this close to going Billy Walsh on ESPN, this close you fucking ESPN jerkoffs:
BRITISH OPEN STARTS TOMORROW
I know all of you are in lockdown, can't wait to watch the world's greatest sports spectacle across the big pond tomorrow mode. But take time to appeciate golf for what it is: an elitist, rich snob sport where your boss can chug beers and talk shit about his family and friends. Damn I love golf!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
JIMMY KIMMEL JOKES FROM THE ESPYS
Via Deadspin, here are some sports jokes delivered by Jimmy Kimmel on the awards show that nobody watches..
Tonight's show focuses primarily on the accomplishments of athletes on the field - but there are so many great things going on off the field too.
Michael Vick, as you've probably heard, is picking up where Bob Barker left off, to try to help control the pet population.
I think that's great.
He's also been doing some wonderful things for people in his local community - just this last weekend, he let the police have a treasure hunt in his backyard.
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Ron Artest was also investigated for cruelty to animals this year. This was actually a scary case - they claim - and, of course, these are just allegations - that he forced two of his dogs to listen to his entire rap album.
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Kobe was here tonight, but about halfway down the red carpet, he asked to be traded to another awards show.
Right now, Don Cornelius is presenting him with a Soul Train Award.
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David Beckham comes to LA this month. I have to say I have never seen my gardener so excited.
David Beckham got 250 million dollars to pay for the Galaxy. It's a lot of money, but they're hoping he can do for soccer what Wayne Gretzky did for hockey...which means in 15 years, no one will be watching soccer either.
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I want to congratulate Greg Oden - the number one pick in the NBA Draft.
Greg is here tonight. How can you be 19 years old? You look like Grady from Sanford and Son.
Don't people usually have their tonsils removed before they turn 40? You may have heard Greg was diagnosed with tonsillitis. But what you might not know is he got a second opinion this morning and it turns out they're not tonsils at all ... they're dinosaur eggs.
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Well - this is going to be a fun night. I don't know if I'll be able to fill Lance Armstrong's shoes, but at the very least, I'm pretty sure I can fill his scrotum. Figuratively, of course.
MICHAEL VICK INDICTED FOR DOG FIGHTING
Is there any chance the Falcons can get Matt Schaub back? Here is the indictment. Read it, laugh, cry, get pissed off Falcon fans. Ron Mexico aka Ookie would be going to the big house but we all know people with money can get away with anything. Hell OJ and Jayson Williams killed people and still got off.
I can't wait to see the trial on Court TV and get to hear Clinton Portis be called as a character witness.
TRANSFORMERS VS. GI JOE
Okay people, this is a very serious discussion regarding the importance of both cartoons back in the 80's. The 80's were great because it gave us blow and fantastic cartoons to watch while doing blow. Since Transformers was released two weeks ago, the movie has been kicking ass in the box office. And since Hollywood knows how to turn a trend into shit you know they are going to eventually make a GI Joe summer blockbuster. But I want to know which cartoon the Sportscrack Nation enjoyed more back in their adolescent days.
Here is the Transformers theme/intro:
Here is the GI Joe theme/intro:
So, what's it going to be?
GEORGIA'S STAR RECRUIT KING ARRESTED
I knew Athens was getting tough but this is getting a little ridiculous. Caleb King, a 5 star UGA freshman prep recruit expected to contend for playing time this fall, was arrested last night for driving down the wrong way on a one way street while having a suspended license. Oh yeah, and to top it all off he was on a scooter...or moped as the cool kids would call it now.
What in the fuck is going on in Athens when a star player can't get away with a little fun here and there? I used to go to Athens a lot to visit some buds up there but never had to deal with cops even when I was underage and hammered. I hope this is a lesson to any recruit looking at Athens: WE DON'T DO FUN HERE, WE DO FOOTBALL!
A new NFL Bang Cartoon...must have been a down month for news in the NFL, this one is not nearly as good as DogPile or the Pacman one.
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