JUST ANOTHER REASON TO ROOT FOR THE PHILLIES: CHASE UTLEY'S WIFE

Her name is Jennifer Cooper Utley and she met Chase at UCLA where they were both attending. Let's just say Chase aka The Greaser hit a home run with this Megan Fox look alike...

SEXUAL HARRASSMENT VIDEO

"Smells like vagina in here! Smells like fresh vagina in here." Sounds like something Pete Carroll would say to his team before charging the field. In all seriousness I think I watched one of these videos in high school before starting my job as Photo Technician at Eckerd's Drug Store. It basically said sexual harrassment is if an ugly person hits on someone out of their league. No worries for me mate. Working in the photo lab was one of the greatest jobs. I could see everybody's pictures and blow them up to 8x10 if I felt like blackmailing people. We would get naughty pictures of couples, spring break pictures of girls making out, and of course the always entertaining drunk prank pictures. Those were the days back in my beat up Nissan 200SX, making $7 a hour, and not worrying about bills, mortgages, lawyers, STD's. The world was much simpler back then. The Yankees still sucked at baseball and Notre Dame was just starting to suck at football thanks to the transition to Satan, I mean Bob Davie.

But forget about all that. This should cheer us all up right guys?...

REEBOK COMMERCIAL LOVES THE BUTT

This is actually a brilliant commercial for Reebok on so many levels. The first level is appealing to men of course. We like to look at asses, it's in our DNA. The second level is it appeals to women because no matter what they say all women are jealous of other women with nice rears. It's on par with guys being jealous of Peter North or John Holmes. The third level is as a marketing tool for Reebok. In our ultra conservative minds this type of commercial can be seen as extremely sexual or controversial. Anything that is sexy or controversial usually sells.

With that being said they should have picked Kim Kardashian as the model. Seriously. Everybody in the free world would know what a Reebok Easytone is by now if her rump was selling them.

Via WithLeather via HotClicks

GREATEST NEWSPAPER COVER EVER?

Daddy likey? The New York Post wins the prize for most original cover for this Pedro Martinez as a baby photoshop. I didn't have rooting interest in this game tonight but after seeing this I really hope the Phillies and Pedro stick it to the Yankees tonight. It's too bad the game is on tonight since I'm going to have to miss at least an inning with Modern Family on ABC. No worries since World Series games on FOX take about 5 hours to complete.

NY FANS VS PHILLY FANS FROM THE DAILY SHOW

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I don't think I could have said it any better myself. The world will be a better place once the Fall Classic is over and we can all forget about it.

Video HT: BarstoolSports

SPORTSCRACK TOP 10

1. FLORIDA GATORS-These eye gouging assholes stay at #1 till somebody comes up and beats their ass. It hasn't happened since September 2008 to Ole Miss and I can't see it happening anytime soon unless Bama plays one hell of a game in Atlanta.

2. TEXAS LONGHORNS-Texas proved me wrong last week by destroying Okie State in Stillwater. They are the real deal and it looks like they will be playing in the BCS Championship if Colt McCoy stays healthy.

3. ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE-They got lucky against Tennessee but had last week off to get their shit together and prepare for LSU this week. It wouldn't shock me if LSU pulled the upset.

4. TCU HORNED FROGS-I am going to suck on their proverbial tit till they lose one. I think of all the teams who are undefeated they could hang best with the top 3. Their defense is outstanding and if they go undefeated I would have no problem seeing them in the BCS Championship game.

5. CINCINNATI BEARCATS-They keep winning. Even without QB Tony Pike their backup, Zach Collaros, has done an excellent job with 7 TD passes and 2 rushing TDs. The path to 12-0 isn't far off especially considering they play in the worst BCS conference but I have this feeling they are going to slip up somewhere whether it be West Virginia or Pitt.

6. IOWA HAWKEYES-The Hawkeyes know how to win some ugly games. They are sitting at 9-0 for the first time ever and have games remaining with Northwestern, Ohio State, and Minnesota. All are very winnable but I have a feeling they will lose in Columbus.

7. BOISE STATE BRONCOS-Remember people that they beat Oregon. They won, not Oregon. How anybody has Oregon ranked ahead of the Broncos needs to have their heads checked. I know Boise State's schedule is about as tough as Georgia's defense but they should not be dropped below the Ducks unless they lose.

8. OREGON DUCKS-I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the Mighty Ducks beat the living piss out of the Trojans and Pete Carroll Saturday night. The Ducks now sit in the driver's seat for the PAC-10 title and Rose Bowl berth. But watch out for a trip to Stanford this week. Could be a huge letdown game.

9. GEORGIA TECH YELLOW JACKETS-Nesbitt and Dwyer are running fools and they will not let the Yellow Jackets lose another ACC game against Wake Forest and Duke. You can pencil them in for the ACC Championship. The question is can they win out and make a BCS Bowl for the first time? My eight ball says "outlook good."

10. PENN STATE NITTANY LIONS-If the JoePa's beat Ohio State this weekend then they have a great chance of winning out and at the very least making a BCS Bowl game at-large. Whoever wins this week will get the invite to the Fiesta Bowl in my opinion.

ON THE OUTSIDE: LSU Tigers, Pittsburgh Panthers, Notre Dame Fighting Irish, USC Trojans, Ohio State Buckeyes, Miami Hurricanes

KIM KARDASHIAN WINS THE BEST HALLOWEEN OUTFIT

I don't care what anybody else says and yes I know she is currently with Reggie Bush but if I was single I would lick every single layer of Kim Kardashian. And yes, I mean "layers!" If you say you wouldn't you are either mentally challenged or fucking gay in every sense of the word. Her Princess Jasmine outfit screams "Fuck me now mister!"

I hate Reggie Bush because A)he received over $200,000 in college without a slap on the wrist, B)The Bush Push, and C)he bangs Kim whenever and wherever he wants.

KELLY BROOK LOOKS DELICIOUS

Ladies, take note, this is what your Halloween costume should look like next year. Oh, and 32E boobs would help tremendously as Kelly Brook displays. I'm here to inspire.

Image HT: DailyMail


Now excuse me while I dream about sleeping on those funbags on the beach...

QUACK BITCHES

LSUfreek's stuff never gets old.

BRANDON SPIKES LIKES IT DIRTY

Check out Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes get a little pokey with Georgia tailback Washaun Ealey. I'm not sure what he was trying to do other than change out his contacts...

Video HT: TheBigLead
Yes it was a dirty play but this kind of shit happens all the time. He's lucky he didn't try to speed bag his nuts. I've seen it happen in a pile.

Where does Georgia go from here? Right now they sit at 4-4 and for the first time in Mark Richt's coaching tenure in Athens there are serious questions about where the program is headed. Just last season they were the preseason #1 team in the country and looked poise to win their second National Championship ever with Matthew Stafford and Knowshon Moreno back. But they failed miserably getting blown out by Alabama and Florida last year and then letting Georgia Tech run all over them.

This year it looks like their cycle appears to be on the downward side again and yet they don't even belong on the same field as the Florida's and Alabama's of the world anymore. Right now you look at Georgia and you have to say that those teams are clearly better than them and only getting better along with rivals Tennessee and Georgia Tech.

If I were a betting man for 2010 I would say both Florida and Tennessee will be ranked ahead of Richt's Dawgs in the SEC East and LSU and Alabama will obviously be better too. This leaves Georgia middle of the pack in the SEC. With the amount of top flight recruits Georgia and Richt bring in year after year this is unacceptable and it falls on the coaches to get these kids ready. Coordinators Willie Martinez and Mike Bobo should both be let go this offseason. If Richt wants to keep his job in Athens he needs to be the hammer and knock out these crooked nails. It amazes me that Martinez didn't get fired after last season. Georgia's defense has regressed every season since Martinez took over after Brian VanGorder left and yet he still collects a hefty paycheck every two weeks.

I'm interested to hear what Georgia fans and outside observers think of the Bulldogs. Am I being too overly critical of the Dawgs? Right now I think Georgia Tech would run rough shot all over their rival and if you would have told me this two years ago I would have said you are crazy. Is Georgia turning into the new Florida State? Tons of athletes who are undisciplined and get crushed by more prepared teams who are led by superior coaches?

GREAT PICTURE

Courtesy of SI.com comes this picture of ND safety Sergio Brown doing a flip after Notre Dame destroyed Washington State 40-14. The Fighting Irish cruised from the get-go and got brilliant performances from Jimmy Clausen, Golden Tate, and Robert Hughes on offense. The defense stepped up and forced the Cougars into 2 turnovers while limiting them to 206 total yards. You can't beat a day when Michigan and USC both get absolutely crushed and the Irish lay a whooping themselves in front of some important Texas recruits in San Antonio.

DUCKS BEAT TROJANS 47-20 USuCk SHIRT

In honor of the Ducks completely dismantling the Trojans tonight we came out with this shirt titled "USuCk" and it's only available at Sportscrack.

This unlicensed t-shirt is a symbol of the once mighty Trojan empire of the Pac-10 Conference crumbling right before our happy eyes in Eugene on this Halloween Day. Get them now before they sell out.

BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME

If you think your costume kicks ass and has a legit shot to win at the party you are attending tonight well then just hope this guy doesn't show up. Fast forward to the :30 second mark...

Video HT: ExtraMustard

ARKANSAS SHOT THEIR WAD

Leave it up to Lee Corso to send us into the weekend. Who knows what else will cum out of his mouth this week...

TROJANS VS DUCKS: MAY THE BEST POON WIN

I feel kind of bad leaving out the left coast when it comes to talk about Poon because let's be completely honest: The West is the Best. Sure the property values are overpriced and 95% of the people are fake but the Poon just sizzles out there. Tomorrow we get the battle of the Pac-10's best teams in USC and Oregon in Autzen Stadium. Oregon is the only undefeated Pac-10 team at 4-0 and have recovered remarkably since their horrific start on the blue turf in Boise State. In fact they finished dismantling a team in Washington 43-19 who just happened to hand the Trojans their only loss of the season. The overrated and undisciplined Pete Carroll-led squad again have a chance to make pollsters completely forget about the Trojans shitting the bed against a bad Washington squad early in the season by coming in to Eugene and laying a hurting on the Ducks. Personally I think it's about time the Trojans got exposed. My prediction is Oregon 27 USC 17. But that is beside the point of the original point. The Poon. Let's take a look.

USC is well represented of course:






Oregon brings it back with a vengeance of mean Poon:






You can vote by leaving your comments below. I'm at a crossroads. Fuck it. I'm throwing a curve and going with Ashley...

WORLD'S BIGGEST COCKTEASE..I MEAN COCKTAIL PARTY TOMORROW

The Georgia Bulldogs enter tomorrow's contest with the Florida Gators on an obvious down note. Their defense has played shitty all season thanks to the "imaginative" schemes Willie Martinez has drawn up. They currently sit at 4-3 and the natives in Athens are getting restless with even some loyal fans aka assclowns calling for Richt's head. The Gators on the other hand are still undefeated despite playing sloppy football for over a month and come in #1 in the country thanks to Urban Meyer and the Gator's defense. Notice how he kept Tebow out of the discussion. It's for good reason. He isn't having a good season and it baffles me how people still have them in their top 3 for the Heisman. We all think we know who is going to win tomorrow. Florida. Duh. But the real question is who wins the battle of the Ta-Ta's. You decide in the comments section. Pictures are courtesy of one of the greatest blogs ever invented. I'm talking of course about the Poon of the SEC...

Your representative from Gainesville:


Your representative from Athens:


You decide who has the better rack. Comments below.

HEIDI KLUM CAN MAKE ANYTHING LOOK SEXY

WWTDD has the complete gallery of these new photos of milf Heidi Klum from her new book "Waiting for Fairchild" in which only her sweet self can make chocolate look this good...


No worries guys, she obviously wipes up and down (repeat)....


Call me old fashion but I'm more of a fan of the airbrushed topless look with some tight leather pants look. See that look in her face. It's the "Seal is just the appetizer for you Fairchild" eyes that haunt me. I see it all the time.


And I will leave you with the never gets old hair of the boobs trick. Oh what a tease. Can you imagine after three kids a woman still looking this hot? Seal is one lucky bastard. The crazy part is you know he is probably tired of banging her. Excuse me while I go swallow these horse tranquilizers.

THE BUTTON

I saw a preview for the new Cameron Diaz movie called "The Button" where she is presented with an interesting dilemna: push the button and you get 1 million dollars but somebody has to die. I looked at my wife, god bless her innocent soul, and said "fuck it, I would push the button as long as I don't know the person!" Does that make me a bad person or just a realistic one? A million dollars would be awfully helpful right now because I ain't selling diamonds here, I'm selling fucking t-shirts for dirt cheap.

I was going to post the preview of the movie here to let you judge it yourself but I found this one a lot more interesting than seeing Diaz age very ungraceful like...

The Button - watch more funny videos

So what would you do? To push the button or not, that is the question.

CLIFF LEE BASICALLYS SAYS PHUCK THE YANKEES

Cliff Lee was brilliant last night pitching a complete game in Game 1 of the World Series and showing the New York Yankees and their fans he can do pretty much anything...even behind his back...

Lee finished the night giving up only 6 hits (3 of them to JeTAH!) while striking out 10 batters (3 of them to A-Roids!) and walking nobody. He was so smooth and in command that you could hardly tell if he actually cared to be out there. Take for instance this catch while Tim McCarver narrates in annoying fashion as always...


Yep, ho hum. The Philadelphia Phillies looked dominant last night with Chase Utley hitting two bombs off of C.C. Sabathia and the Phillies knocking in some runs of a bad Yankees bullpen to finish a 6-1 win in Game 1. Tonight we have AJ Burnett pitching for the pinstripes against some guy named Pedro Martinez. You may have heard of him. The Phillies saved their bullpen in anticipation of going to it quickly tonight if Pedro throws 6 innings which would give manager Charlie Manuel his first chub in over a decade.

In the battle of Broad Street vs. Wall Street the series could be over quickly if Pedro pitches like his old self and Burnett fizzles. I don't see it happening. I think the Yankees bats awaken tonight to take game 2 but I still think the Phillies will win the series in 6 games.

PHUCK THE YANKEES SHIRTS AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE HERE:

GOLDEN TATE: GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH

With all the talk surrounding Jimmy Clausen and the Heisman I figured why not give the most dynamic receiver in the country a little pub. His name is Golden Tate and he continues to remind me of Steve Smith of the Carolina Panthers. His hands have death grips and his balance and leg strength make it almost impossible for a sole defender to bring him down. He was just recently named one of 10 semifinalists for the Biletnikoff Award which goes to the top wide receiver in the country. Right now he is on pace for nearly 90 catches and 1500 yards receiving to go along with 16 TD's. His pace would put him at the top of the greatest receiving year for a Notre Dame football player. He has simply been Golden since Michael Floyd went down with the collarbone injury. I pray he stays for his senior season. Same with Clausen. 2010 would be off the charts with those two back for their senior seasons.