Terrelle Pryor Rides Off Into The Sunset

So what if Terrelle Pryor got paid up to $40,000 for his signature on memorabilia. So what if Terrelle Pryor got free cars and free meals and free women. So what if Pryor got Tressel fired. And so what if Pryor got the Buckeyes in a shitload of trouble with heavy sanctions a mere formality.

Pryor don't care. Pryor is rich! Bitch! He's going to get paid out of the ass from dirty Buckeye boosters to keep his mouth shut about what really went on in Columbus. But fuck all that! The party is at Pryors house* tonight!

*=paid for by the Young Republicans of Buckeyes

2011 Top 10 Must-See College Football Games

Got your beer on ice? Brats ready for grilling? Tailgate locked and loaded for Saturdays in the Fall? Well if you are like me you can't wait for college football to kick off. Here are the SportsCrack.com's Must-See College Football Games for 2011:

1. Oregon vs LSU (Cowboys Stadium) September 3rd

In a huge matchup for two top 10 teams ready to kickoff the season in "Jerry Land" this will be a true litmus test for the rest of their seasons. Whoever wins this PAC-12 vs SEC game clash could be headed to the BCS Title game. Whoever loses will face an uphill battle to get back into BCS consideration. With two fanbases who are known to be extremely loud this game should be electric.

2. Boise State vs Georgia (Georgia Dome) September 3rd

The last time Boise came down to Georgia it didn't end too well for the Smurfs. They were blown out by the Dawgs in Athens back when Jared Zabransky and Dan Hawkins were hot commodities. This time it will be in Atlanta at the Georgia Dome with Boise expected to be the favorite despite playing the David in the David vs Goliath role. Kellen Moore will be looking to make a favorable Heisman impression on the voters on National TV while Georgia and coach Mark Richt will be looking to rebound from a disastrous 2010 losing season.

3. Oklahoma at FSU September 17th

Last year FSU went to Norman and got their collectives asses kicked. This year the game with two top 10 teams will be in Semen-hole country in Tallahassee. The Sooners will be #1 in the country behind a potent offense led by QB Landry Jones. FSU will be looking for payback while also trying to get back to a BCS Bowl game under 2nd year head coach Jimbo Fisher. This game will say a lot whether FSU is really back or just overhyped preseason.

4. LSU at West Virginia September 24th

The Bayou Bengals have one of the toughest schedules in the nation and a night game in Morgantown could be their achilles when all is said and done. WVU should be the favorite to win the Big East and if they can beat LSU they have a legit shot at reaching a BCS Title game. The X factor should be West Virginia QB Geno Smith. If he plays big then watch out for the Mountaineers.

5. Ohio State at Nebraska October 8th

This should be the start of a huge rivalry between two tremendous programs and fanbases. Nebraska and Bo Pelini will be looking to make a Big Ten title run with a home victory over the reigning Big Ten Champs in Ohio State. The Buckeyes could make a statement and tell the world they aren't ready to roll over and hide after sanctions come down because of Jim Tressel and Terrelle Pryor. Or they could wilt in Lincoln under a tremendous Husker team who should be able to run the ball.

6. Texas A&M at Oklahoma November 5th

The Aggies haven't won an outright Big 12 title since 1998. If they can beat the Sooners in Norman behind a great rushing attack led by Cyrus Gray they could change their fortunes. Oklahoma will be looking for revenge after getting blown out by the Aggies on the road last season. Offensively this should be a wide open game with tons of points being put on the scoreboard. I think it's safe to say whoever wins this game has the inside track for the Big 12 Championship game.

7. LSU at Alabama November 5th

If you like hard hitting football then this will be the game to watch. More than likely it won't be the prettiest game unless you love defensive battles. The SEC West is by far the toughest division in college football and both the Tigers and Crimson Tide will be looking for a win to possible secure a SEC Championship berth in Atlanta.

8. Oregon at Stanford November 12th

This game is for the PAC-12 Championship. Last season Oregon ran rough shot over the Cardinal in the second half on way to a BCS Title game berth. This season Stanford and Andrew Luck will be looking to win their first conference title in over a decade while also securing a Heisman in his trophy case. In what should be a very entertaining game look for LaMichael James to make a statement when it comes to West Coast supremacy.

9. Notre Dame at Stanford November 26th

This end of the season clash between two rising programs could determine a BCS Bowl berth. Luck will be going against a much improved Fighting Irish defense and will have to avoid LB Manti Te'o. Notre Dame will be looking to snap a 2-game losing streak against Stanford and get back to a BCS Bowl game for the first time in 5 years. This game should come down to the final whistle.

10. Alabama at Auburn (Iron Bowl) November 26th

Do we really need to talk about this game to let you know how must-see this is? You have fans poisoning trees. You have the last two National Champions on the field. It's the fucking Iron Bowl. It's bigger than Charlie Weis waistband. And while both these teams might already be out of the National Championship picture it still doesn't make this game any less intriguing.

The Wonderful World of Tressel presents Vestocchio

The M Zone has this hilarious spoof of Jim Tressel as played by Vestocchio. The dig at the SEC in the end wasn't completely necessary but I get the point. Little Sisters of the Poor.


Buy the classic "Vest In Peace" shirt now by clicking on the link below:

The Hit Heard Around Canada...Aaron Rome KO's Nathan Horton

Boston fans are freaking out, spitting up their clam chowder and Sam Adams about this hit from game 3 of last night's Stanley Cup Final. At first glance it looked bad. On second glance it looked even worse. On third glance holy fuck he got crushed for no good reason! Vancouver's Aaron Rome has been suspended for the remaining four games in the series because of the hit and chances are the Bruins have seen the last of Nathan Horton. The hit might have flipped the series too. The Canucks came in with a 2-0 series lead. After the hit the Bruins went on to smoke the Canucks 8-1. Game 4 is in Boston. Expect even more emotion and passion. And beady little eyes. And hockey sticks. Eh!

Thanks To Shakira's Pole Dancing I Will Never Get This Song Out Of My Head

I don't have a fucking clue what she is saying but does it really matter? Shakira just jumped to the top of my charts with this "Rabiosa" video. The gyration of her hips could be classified as the 9th wonder of the world. Fucking A Shakira! Still bringing her A game for sure. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like with Shakira. I'll let Akon explain it...

#1 Pick Bryce Harper Blows Kiss To Pitcher After Hitting a Home Run

Big League Stew posted this video last night of Bryce Harper, the MLB 2010 1st pick phenom, hitting a massive home run for Class A Hagerstown and then doing a slow Barry Bonds-like trot before blowing a kiss to the opposing pitcher. I've heard constant rumors about teammates not favoring Bryce and I figured some of that could be out of jealousy and some of it could be because the kid is a dick. After watching this video I'm going to go with dick. Yeah. The next pitch Harper needs to see is right at his throat.

Actually I can't wait for this kid to make it to the majors. The game needs a good villain and Harper seems immature enough to take over the reigns. Plus he plays for the Nationals so it will be fun to see him come into the ATL and try to pull that shit at The Ted.

HT to Andrew from the band Dielectric Sound

Khloe Kardashian Forces Black Out, Nipple Slip on Fox & Friends

You remember that first time you got so shit face the whole room started spinning and you just wanted it to stop? Well let's go back in time and see how it felt all over again. Just look at that thing, somehow related to Kim, flashing her nipple on national television. I'm pretty positive Khloe has no relation to Kim. She was adopted. Has to be. She's proof that Arnold and that Mexican cleaning lady tried to throw away the first of the litter in the dumpster.

Image via Egotastic

Reggie Bush Refuses To Give Up The Heisman

Yesterday we found out that USC has been forced to vacate and hand over their 2004 BCS Title because of the sanctions ruled against them in large part due to Reggie Bush breaking the rules. Well today it appears that the Heisman Trophy that Bush won back in 2005 and was suppose to be forfeited back to the Heisman Trophy Trust nine months ago still hasn't made it to them according to Paul Pabst over at the Dan Patrick Show.

We reported in December that the Heisman Trust had yet to receive Bush’s trophy. According to a source at the Heisman Trust, as of Monday Reggie Bush has still not returned his Heisman Trophy, just short of nine months after the decision came down that he had to give up the honor.

After the Heisman Trophy Trust met in early September 2010, the Trust worked with Bush on an mutual decision to return the Heisman Trophy. On Sept. 14, Bush announced he would forfeit the trophy:

“One of the greatest honors of my life was winning the Heisman Trophy in 2005. For me, it was a dream come true.But I know that the Heisman is not mine alone. Far from it. I know that my victory was made possible by the discipline and hard work of my teammates, the steady guidance of my coaches, the inspiration of the fans, and the unconditional love of my family and friends. And I know that any young man fortunate enough to win the Heisman enters into a family of sorts. Each individual carries the legacy of the award and each one is entrusted with its good name. It is for these reasons that I have made the difficult decision to forfeit my title as Heisman winner of 2005.”

One day later, the Heisman Trust issued a statement stating their appreciation for Bush’s cooperation and declared there would be no winner for ‘05.

We called Bush’s agent for comment about the status of the trophy, but received no response. We did find out where Bush’s trophy was last September, just before the Heisman Trust asked for it back.

According to a person in management at the San Diego Hall of Champions, the Heisman Trophy was displayed there until just after the Heisman Trust’s decision to strip Bush of the trophy. “Reggie Bush’s dad came in right after and took it. That’s the last we saw of it.”

The source at the Heisman Trophy Trust told us that there was no specific agreement with Reggie Bush to return the trophy, but that it was “alluded to in Reggie’s statement and the whole world reasonably expected him to return it.”

The Heisman Trust source added that they had been in touch with Bush’s agent “more than once” about the status of returning the trophy. Also, Bush would not even have to pay for shipping. The Heisman Trust would send him a case for the Heisman Trophy, with shipping paid for.

Honestly I can't blame Bush for not handing it over yet. I've held one. Took it to a party in fact on the Notre Dame campus. Johnny Lattner's 1953 Heisman Trophy which he so kindly loaned to me for a night opened doors to places I would have never seen without it. Next to the Stanley Cup it's the most recognizable trophy in all of sports. So I can see why Bush would not want to give it up. His Heisman got him Kim Kardashian. It worked with Carmen Ortega. The Heisman is like walking around with the Maserati of labrador puppies on campus trying to pick up chicks. The Heisman seals the deal. So without the Heisman Bush is basically nothing. Sure he has some money but his NFL career has been remarkably bland.

The point is Reggie Bush shouldn't give up his memorabilia. Look at what happened to O.J. Simpson when he tried to get his shit back. You don't want to end up like O.J. who is forced to give the Heisman to other inmates at the Lovelock Correctional Center....or do you? Run Reggie Run!

Arnold Schwarzenegger Satisfies

Video via ExtraMustard

Ndamukong Suh Will Eat His Own Pepperoni and Black Olives Face Thank You Very Much

You have seen Ndamukong Suh eat up Colt McCoy while in college and if you are a Detroit Lions fan (mercy on your souls) you saw Suh just dominate the shit out of the NFL during his rookie season. Now you can see Suh eat his own face thanks to Andy Gray over at SI. It's disturbing, gross and yet highly erotic if you enjoy pizza as much as I do.

P.S.-Can we get this fucking lockout over with already? If you are a billionaire owner and you are cutting office staff because of it then you sir are an asshole! The owners need to stop being greedy dicks. End of story.

Bill Stewart Has Been Snitchin' To The Media About Dana Holgorsen

Last week I told you about West Virginia's new offensive coordinator and head coach-in-waiting Dana Holgersen's drinking issues. This week we may have found out how the information about Holgersen's party lifestyle has been getting out to the press. West Virginia's own head coach Bill Stewart. Ruh fucking roh!

SB Nation's The Smoking Musket broke the story...

Jun 6, 2011 - Mock the trappings of Appalachia all you wish, college football fandom, but let it never be said that we mountain folk have lost the touch for high drama Shakespeare gave our forebears: Reports out of Morgantown are linking Bill Stewart (that's West Virginia head football coach Bill Stewart) to a newspaper reporter in Huntington, W. Va. who published an article alleging that Dana Holgorsen, Stewart's coach-in-waiting and offensive coordinator, has a lengthy history of alcohol-related run-ins, usually involving getting tossed out of casinos. That's Huntington, home of the Marshall Thundering Herd.

Some background on the personalities involved here: Holgorsen-as-dauphin was hilariously forced on Stewart by new AD Oliver Luck, who gave the Oklahoma State hotshot a year as OC to settle in and Stewart a year to shuffle out in a move that was already sure to make for an unbelievably awkward series of football Saturdays. The report that Holgorsen may have had as many as half a dozen previous unwanted encounters with gambling security and various local law enforcement types was as vigorously refuted by WVU as it was gleefully trumpeted by lesser Pittsburgh media outlets. Morgantown locals are abuzz with rumors of rampant, if understandable dissension amongst the reluctantly hybrid coaching staff, and just to make things interesting, our own West Virginia blog passes along some scuttlebutt that says Stewart may even be in the process of holding out on signing the new contract he agreed to with Luck. Just another pokey late spring in America's beautiful game.

Speaking of our West Virginia community, the Smoking Musket guys have been chasing this story since the very beginning, and they've got a wealth of details on this latest rich chapter in Mountaineer history over at their place. Pop some popcorn and head over for a cup of shine, won't you?

So Stewart is a snitch? What a fucking punk move if true. West Virginia University has reacted by putting Stewart's contract on hold while it investigates the leak according to the Charleston Daily. This is bound to create an unbearable friction amongst the coaching staff for a team I have projected to win the Big East with sleeper status as a BCS Title contender in 2011. I think we can assume Stewart has seen his last days of coaching pass him by. Stay tuned.

HT to MacG

Notre Dame gets 10 commitment in David Perkins

According to WSBT's David McCoy Notre Dame will pick up their 10 commitment in the class of 2012 with South Bend's own David Perkins choosing the Fighting Irish tomorrow morning.

A source close to Perkins tells WSBT that choice will be Notre Dame.

Perkins has scheduled an 11:20 a.m. news conference Tuesday to announce his decision. Washington coach Antwon Jones said Perkins' final five schools are Syracuse, Mississippi State, Iowa, Tennessee and Notre Dame.

At 6-foot-2, 210 pounds, Perkins is looked upon as a multi-position prospect. He plays both running back and linebacker for Washington.

Notre Dame came on late in the recruiting process, offering Perkins a scholarship on Thursday.

Perkins is listed as a 4 star recruit at outside linebacker (27th at his position) by Scout.com. He also has the versatility to play tailback and perhaps that is where Brian Kelly and the staff see his future. Notre Dame is extremely thin at the tailback position with starter Cierre Wood the only proven commodity who is also NFL Draft eligible after this season. In order for Notre Dame to be successful and I'm talking top 10 with BCS bowl wins they have to be able to run the ball effectively. Landing an elite tailback like a Keith Marshall or a Brian Kimbrow is paramount for this recruiting class.

Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis Crotch Grab MTV Movie Awards

You know in reality Justin Timberlake is banging her. He's the Derek Jeter of banging broads. He's literally gone through all of them. Janet Jackson? Yep. Britney Spears before she went mental? Yes sir. Cameron Diaz before she turned into Golum? Uh huh. Jessica Biel? His late night drunk call guarantee. There are a slew of other notches on his belt and the latest is Mila Kunis. She dumped Home Alone and is now running wild on guys like JT.

So the question is "do I envy Timberlake's life?" Of course. I'm not fucking gay.

Video via TheBigLead

The Guy F*cking Blake Lively Is Wearing A Certain Hat

You may have heard of the guy. His name is Leonardo Dicaprio. I think he was one of the Ninja Turtles. Anyways today he was spotted in a boat with Blake Lively (this time miraculously clothed...damn) in Italy and you want to know how he closed the deal with her? Yep. That fucking hat. You wear a ND hat and girls just drop their shit and jump your bones. I don't want to get into too many details but if you are a top notch high school football recruit (I'm talking to you Keith Marshall) you might want to start wearing the old Blue and Gold and just see what happens. Better yet just go ahead and enroll at Notre Dame. But only if you are a star recruit. We can't all be winners like Leonardo and myself.

Golf Clap For The SEC Doing The Right Thing With Signing Classes

All of the non-SEC fans want to talk about how some of the SEC schools like Bama and Ole Miss have unfair advantages with oversigning recruits. Today the SEC Conference did the right thing and voted to limit signing classes to 25 even though the coaches were against it. Sorry Nick Saban.

DESTIN, Fla. -- The Southeastern Conference has capped football signing classes at 25, a move coaches voted against and one that school presidents hope will be adopted across college football.

The powerful league, which will hand out an SEC-record $18.3 million in shared revenue to each of its 12 schools, had allowed up to 28 players to be signed annually.

They also voted to eliminating 7-on-7 camps on campuses and banned graduate students from transferring and being eligible to play immediately. In other words no more Jeremiah Masolis.

The question is how much will this hurt the SEC Conference in terms of football power? Probably not too much. Sure it will effect the Sabans of the conference. No longer can sign 30 plus guys and then put them on medical hardships or kick them out of school for a bull shit excuse. Saban will still find ways to get slaves...err...I mean more "student-athletes" in school despite the 25 max vote. How? How the fuck should I know, he's the Sabanator! Ask him.

Lebron James 4th Quarter Performance Reenacted By A Kid

Yep. Spot on. King James and the Miami Heat wilted, crumbled, and cried their way to losing a 15 point lead in the 4th quarter last night and let the Mavs tie up the series at 1 game all. It was the biggest choke job since the 1992 Finals when the Trail Blazers blew a 15 point 4th quarter lead to the Bulls. And just like this kid crying because he didn't get the right color bike we might soon see James tearing up if the Mavs pull the unthinkable and steal the NBA Title away. Viva la Dirk!

Video via Extra Mustard

Atlanta Braves Peter Moylan's ESPY Dress

Atlanta Braves reliever Peter Moylan has a little extra time on his hands being on the disabled list so he has taken to his Twitter to blow off some steam. And by steam I mean putting on a tight dress that clearly shows off his fabulous figure. What? The Aussie has a great figure. So sue me.

HT to Extra Mustard for the reminder on this Twitter pic.

Speaking of Twitter be sure to follow us. You better do it now!

Even More Blake Lively Nude Pics Leaked

Apparently actress Blake Lively has even more nude pictures yet to be released. Just a couple of days ago we got the first batch of NSFW pics. Her representation then came out and denied it's her which is bull shit. It's pretty obvious it's her phone, her face and most certainly her body. Case closed. And now apparently the people representing Lively have pissed off the guy who stole the pictures in the first place. And by guy I mean it's gotta be her right? She's leaking it.

Here are some more NSFW pics of Blake Lively via BarstoolSports

Willie Mays + SpiderMan = Adam Jones Catch Yesterday

Video via BigLeadSports

Slowly Baltimore Orioles center fielder is turning into the super star scouts projected when he was first drafted as a short stop in the Seattle Mariners organization. The fleet footed Jones aka Bazooka Jones made one of the best outfield catches I have ever seen. I don't think people realize how hard of a catch it was for Jones. He basically was going full force into the centerfield wall and yet still had enough concentration to make the catch while leaping to brace himself. To top it off he hit the game winning home run, went 3-4 at the plate and helped snapped a 5 game skid for the streaky O's who got a solid first start from ace Brian Matusz who just came off the DL. Not a bad day at the office for Jonesy.

Getting Ugly for Uggla

Image Courtesy of the AP

Matt and I were having a conversation the other day about Atlanta's most recent trade for perennial All Star Dan Uggla and I think we can all be honest, it's getting ugly. When Atlanta made the trade for the slugging 2nd baseman, no one would have guess he would be so, well, sluggish. Uggla is hitting .175, that's not even his weight.

The only comfort I take is that Omar Infante hasn't exactly had a great season, only batting .250 with 17 RBIs, our bullpen lefties are second to none, and Dan Uggla's defense has been absolutely spectacular. Still, we signed a clean up hitter, not expecting to have to clean up for him. Maybe the pressure of a lot of money is getting to him and if so, he's in the wrong profession.

Dave O'Brien talked yesterday on the Braves Blog on the AJC about Uggla getting slotted in the 7th hole and being benched twice in the last 7 games.

Gonzalez decided to “give him a breather” on Tuesday for the second time in seven games, using Uggla only as a pinch-runner for Chipper Jones late in the game.

The manager joked Wednesday that Uggla was too much of a “pain in the [rear]” pacing and fidgeting in the dugout to not play him in consecutive games.

“He’s your every-day second baseman,” Gonzalez said, on a serious note. “He can’t break out of that stuff sitting on the bench. There comes a point where you just give him a little mental rest and then run him back in there, let him play. He’s earned that.”

The Braves traded Omar Infante and left-handed reliever Mike Dunn to the Marlins for Uggla in November, then signed him to a five-year, $62 million contract extension before spring training, giving him the highest average annual salary ($12.4 million) for any second baseman.

Uggla averaged nearly 31 home runs and 93 RBIs in five seasons with the Marlins, including career-highs of 33 homers and 105 RBIs in 2010, when he also had personal bests in average (.287), on-base percentage (.369) and on-base-plus-slugging percentage (.877).

Before Wednesday, his .178 average this season was the second-lowest among National League qualifiers, and his .568 OPS was third-lowest. With runners in scoring position, his .118 average (6-for-51) was the third-lowest in the league.

The Braves got him to be the right-handed power hitter their lineup had lacked in recent years, but Uggla’s .115 average and .154 slugging percentage against lefties were the third-worst marks in the NL before Wednesday.

He had seven homers and 16 RBIs before Wednesday, including two homers and seven RBIs in May while batting .160 (16-for-100).

I, for one, still believe in Uggla and not just because his forearm is bigger than my leg. I personally like the guy. He works hard, he's a team first guy, he's as much of a blue collar player as there is in the game. He's just got to get out of his own head and go back to having fun playing baseball. In the end, I think Uggla will be more than worth his salary to the Braves, even if they do decide to package Uggla, Hanson, and Beachy to make a run at Albert Pujols. Hey, a guy can dream right?!?!?