Today's College Football Picks

Notre Dame (-7.5) at Pitt
Notre Dame finds their offensive identity today and scores at will once they reach the red zone. Expect Michael Floyd and Cierre Wood to have multiple touchdown games.
Prediction: Notre Dame 42 Pitt 17

San Diego State (+10.5) at Michigan
I like the Aztecs in the Brady Hoke Bowl. SDST can run the ball against a weak Michigan defense. In what should be a thriller the Aztecs won't have an answer for Denard Robinson.
Prediction: Michigan 35 SDST 32

North Carolina at Georgia Tech (-7)
Tech leads the nation in rushing and scoring. North Carolina has a new coach and an overrated defense. Georgia Tech rolls in this one.
Prediction: GT 38 North Carolina 21

Georgia (-10) at Ole Miss
Ole Miss won't be able to stop Isaiah Crowell or Aaron Murray. The Rebels looked awful last week vs Vandy in a blowout loss. I don't think playing at home will matter. Georgia is the much better team here and will play better on the road.
Prediction: UGA 42 Ole Miss 20

Oklahoma State at Texas A&M (-4.5)
Both of these Big 12 teams are top 10 and both have high powered offenses. What I like about the Aggies is RB Cyrus Gray. He's the X factor in this game. Plus the Cowboys defense is average at best.
Prediction: A&M 45 Okie St 35

Arkansas (+11) at Alabama
Despite Arkansas starting a true freshman at left tackle I just feel like this game will be close even though on paper Bama should roll. I don't feel comfortable at all on this bet so be cautious.
Prediction: Bama 27 Arkansas 20

Rice at Baylor (-21.5)
Robert Griffin will run and pass all over the Rice Owls.
Prediction: Baylor 58 Rice 21

LSU (-5.5) at West Virginia
LSU is the best team in the country and their defense is fucking sick. The Mountaineers have a good team and were one of my sleeper picks for the BCS Title with Geno Smith at QB. But right now I've made a shitload of money with the Bayou Bengals and I see no reason to get off the train.
Prediction: LSU 24 West Virginia 14

This Week in Unnecessary Censorship has a Trojan Rubdown

I always knew that Barbara Walters was a freak.

Friday Funbags

ESPN Sideline Reporter Jenn Brown Caught Up With "Bitch" Jones

Oh Jenn Brown. Cat caught your tongue? All is forgiven. What isn't forgiven is myself completely bitching out on my prediction and bet on last night's game. I fucking knew Cincy would crush NC State and yet I didn't get my preview up or my bet in before the game started. Right now I'm looking at this weekend's slate of games and really liking Baylor -21.5, Notre Dame -7, Georgia Tech -6.5, LSU -5.5, San Diego State +10.5, and Oregon -14. It's time to make some money this weekend.

Video HT: Dave

Johnny Cash - God's Gonna Cut You Down

For some reason I can't get this song out of my head. I felt like I owed it to the SportsCrack heads out there to give it a listen on this beautiful Friday. Funbags coming later but in the mean time give Johnny Cash some respect and lend an ear to this classic "God's Gonna Cut You Down."

The Detroit Version of House Of Spears Shirt

He is a bad man. He will rip your head off. And if you are a quarterback you should be shittin' in your pants because more than likely he will hurt you. He has already made Detroit a playoff contender. Now show your support for the big man with the official House of Spears shirt. Blood and tears not included.

McDonald's Monopoly Commercial Making Fun Of Lebron James And His Ability To Not Win Championships

They should have had Dirk in there rejecting his scratch off or a velvet rope into the booth with Dirk and Lebron's mom making out inside it. That would have been perfect.

CONFERENCE REALIGNMENT IN A NUTSHELL

Just one huge clusterfuck of a situation and if you don't look both ways you are going to get killed. This is what needs to happen:

-PAC 12 needs to take their thumbs out of their asses brah and add Texas, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State and Texas Tech. Make it a 16 team superconference and be done with it.

-The SEC needs to add Missouri and West Virginia. Supposedly the SEC conference is mad at Missouri because they leaked to the Kansas City Star that they would be added to the most POWERFUL conference in the entire universe. Listen SEC Conference. Shut the fuck up and stop acting all high and mighty and let Missouri in. They are the Show Me State after all. Home of meth addicts and sewage rivers. They fit in perfectly. The SEC also doesn't think West Virginia is a prestigious enough academic school to be added to their Ivy League conference. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Half of the football players in the SEC can't fucking spell their names correctly or tell you who their father is. But yeah, West Virginia would totally demean the conference.

-Notre Dame needs to decide if they are going to go to the Big Ten or the ACC. They are in Big Ten territory but everybody associated with Notre Dame hates that fucking conference. So stop with the independence and go to the ACC. ND can dominate recruiting in Florida all the way up to Boston if they want. They can keep the NBC contract. They will get more money. And the team will be playing for something (a conference championship) after they once again blow a last second game to Michigan for the billionth year in a row.

-The Big East and Big 12 can combine with what remains of their shit. Syracuse and Pitt already got the fuck out of the Big East.

Let Kansas, K State, Baylor, Iowa State, South Florida, Cincy, Louisville, Rutgers, and Connecticut stay while adding TCU, Boise State, Navy, Army, East Carolina, and whoever else gets kicked out of another conference and form Conference Big North America. They can play their championship game on PBS. Perfect.

-Then you let whoever wins the conference championships of the SEC, PAC 16, ACC, and Conference Big North America play a Final Four. Keep all of the pointless bowl games and have all the teams who finished with 6 wins or more play in those games. You got your playoff scenario and you keep the bowls so all the dirty politicians, sponsors, and bowl representatives can get their money too.

-By the way I would just like to point out the Final Four of Football would have better ratings and make more money than the Super Bowl and March Madness. And you can still fuck over the slaves...I mean student-athletes.

-You are welcome. Problem solved. You are now free to look at internet porn. Again.

TOUCHDOWN TOMMY SHIRTS NOW AVAILABLE

This has been one of our most requested shirts since we started SportsCrack tees over 5 years ago. Without further ado here is the brand new Touchdown Tommy shirt. Available for only $17. Order today. Shipping starts this week.

The Braves Are Choking

The Atlanta Braves have seen a 10.5 game lead in the NL Wild Card race now slip to 2.5 after another meltdown in Florida last night. All they needed was another out and they appeared to have it when Emilio Bonifacio hit an easy big hop grounder right to future Hall of Famer Chipper Jones. The game was over if Chipper makes the play and the Braves maintain a 3.5 game lead over the St. Louis Cardinals. But somehow, someway Chipper lost the ball in the lights (how in the fuck do you lose a groundball?) and the ball went trickling past him. Chipper fucking Bucknered the game last night! Then former Brave Omar Infante stepped to the plate and launched a Craig Kimbrel fastball into the leftfield stands. Game over. The Braves season is now in serious jeopardy after the Cardinals beat Roy Halladay last night. The Cards have won 15 of their last 20 including 3 in the past 4 days vs Philly. The Bravos on the other hand have lost 12 of 18.

This would be one of the biggest choke jobs in Major League baseball history. Granted the Red Sox are attempting the same in the AL but I don't give a shit about the Red Sox other than I laid some money on them before the season to win the whole thing. The Braves seem to always pull this shit once September/October rolls around. They lose all their momentum and if they make the playoffs it's one and done. It's like they are the perennial All-Star break darlings only to have the makeup wear thin and reveal their ugly selves come October. It's just so fucking frustrating to watch.

Now they still have a lead in the Wild Card and they still control their destiny. It's time for some of their key players to step up. I'm looking at Brian McCann, Martin Prado, and Jason Heyward in particular. They have to start producing or the Braves are fucked. Will they? They better.

Michigan Grandmas Shotgunning Beer At Tailgate

I'm obviously not the biggest fan of Michigan for good reason but I have to admit this was pretty fucking awesome. Two little old ladies just shotgunning the shit out of some Michelob Ultras in front of rowdy drunk crowd. It doesn't get much better than that.

Michael Vick Knocked Out

AHHHHHHHHH! I love the smell of victory in the morning. This weekend couldn't have gone better. I won 80% of my bets. Notre Dame kicked ass and planted a flag up Sparty's ass. The local teams all won easily. And then last night Michael Vick gets knocked out with a concussion and Matty Ice leads the Falcons to a huge win over the Iggles. I have no voice right now from screaming bloody hell last night in the Dome. The place was rocking. The Falcons need to stay in the Dome. No open air stadium Arthur Blank. The Dome is our homefield advantage.

Boise State vs Toledo Pick

Tonight's 8pm College Football game on ESPN matches the Boise State Broncos traveling to Toledo to face the Rockets. Boise is coming off a bye week after dismantling Georgia in Atlanta two weeks ago. Toledo is coming off a narrow loss in the Shoe to Ohio State 27-22. Both teams have explosive offenses and it has the potential to be a high scoring game.

Boise is in a completely different league than Toledo. Their offense led by Kellen Moore will probably put 45 plus points on the scoreboard tonight. Last season the Broncos won 57-14 and the game honestly wasn't even that close. The only reason the spread is -20 in favor of Boise is because Toledo almost beat a decent Ohio State team led by a bad QB in the scarlet and gray. This week they face one of the nation's best in Moore who is methodical at breaking down defenses and finding open receivers. Georgia might not have the best defense in the nation but they have a ton of better athletes than Toledo and Moore carved them up on the road in front of 75,000 loud Bulldogs fans. Toledo is going to seem pale in comparison.

Now Toledo has some playmakers on offense especially at the wide receiver position with Eric Page and if they can get the ball into his hands they can make it an interesting game. The problem is Boise has one of the best defensive lines in the country and will be pressuring the Toledo QB (Austin Dantin or Terrance Owens) from the first snap to the last. Boise has a much better defense than Ohio State and the high powered Toledo offense only scored 22 last week.

Boise is still looking for respect and to get it they have to blow out teams. All they do is win and expect head coach Chris Petersen to have his team ready to run up the score and be aware of what Toledo nearly did last week in Columbus. In order for Boise to make it to the BCS Championship Game they need to win nationally televised games like tonight's by blowout proportions. It's not necessarily fair but then again what is in college football? Toledo will look to work in some gadget plays but honestly it won't matter. Kellen Moore adds to his win total and Boise wins rather easily. I got Boise covering the 20 and the OVER of 61 points.

Prediction: Boise State 49 Toledo 21

Nebraska Huskers Cheerleader Caught In The Act

Definitely a "Husker" fan if I have ever seen one. The look of guilt is priceless on her face.


HT: Dave

Friday Funbags

LSU vs Mississippi State Pick

Since Dan Mullen has arrived in Starkville, MS the Bulldogs have enjoyed some success on the gridiron. They have beaten the likes of Georgia, Michigan, and Florida. Unfortunately the only SEC West team they have beaten is Ole Miss. LSU comes into Starksville having won 11 straight in the series by an average score of 39-13. The cowbells will be out and the crowd will be loud and drunk but it won't matter because LSU will win.

Right now the spread is -4.5 in favor of the road team in LSU. The Tigers have a really good run defense and they for the most part stuffed Oregon and LaMichael James in the season opener. The Bulldogs are going to look to establish the run. Unfortunately two starting Miss State offensive linemen are questionable tonight with injuries so you would think it's going to be awfully tough for RB Vick Ballard to break some good runs off. That means QB Chris Relf is going to have to throw the ball downfield and not throw interceptions against a LSU defense that loves to force turnovers.

LSU is going to come in with same gameplan as Mississippi State. They are going to try to pound the ball. LSU's offensive line is much better than the Bulldogs. In fact both sets of lines favor the third ranked Tigers. In a game where turnovers will happen I expect LSU to outmuscle and out talent the home team Bulldogs. LSU is 7-1 against the spread in the last 8 meetings in Starksville. They know how to win there and win convincingly.

Prediction: LSU 26 Miss St 17

Vinnie Verno Week 3 College Football Picks

I love the character Vinnie Verno. He's funny. But his picks are horrible. And this week is no different with taking Mississippi State straight up over LSU. Are you fucking high Vinnie? LSU is going to kick the living shit out of those annoying cowbells. Dan Mullen doesn't beat good teams. He beats average teams. LSU is not average and Les Miles always finds a way to win because he has so much talent it's ridiculous. Take LSU on the road.

Not Sports Related but Funbag Related: Scarlett Johansson Nude Pics Leaked

Oh it's always bound to happen. Like the sun that rises and the sky is blue there is bound to be nude "private" celebrities pictures leaked on the internet. Today we get actress Scarlett Johansson. It's been a long time coming but we knew this day would eventually happen. The former Mrs. Ryan Reynolds needs the attention. She wants the attention. And this is why she leaked the pictures. Sure she can act all Erin Andrews but come on...all these celebrities are media whores.

Here are the UNCENSORED NSFW PHOTOS. I hope this makes up for me completely missing Friday Funbags last week. You be the judge.

Who's Nailin' Sarah Palin? Glen Rice That's Who

You know the old saying "once you go black you never go back?" Well apparently Sarah Palin has come back. According to the book "The Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin" author Joe McGinniss claims "Sarah had a steamy interracial hookup with basketball stud GLEN RICE less than a year before she eloped with her husband Todd."

Sarah hooked up with the NBA great, then a 6-foot-8 junior at the University of Michigan when he was playing in a college basketball tournament in Alaska in 1987, the book says. At the time, Sarah, just out of college, was working as a sports reporter for the Anchorage TV station KTUU.

A publishing source told The ENQUIRER that McGinniss claims Sarah had a “fetish” for black men at the time and he quotes a friend as saying Sarah had “hauled (Rice’s) ass down.”

Glen Rice has confirmed the one-night stand. So what does this say about Palin? Not sure other than she likes big black muscles. Hard muscles.



Just in case you were wondering Palin nailed Rice a few months before she got married. The old one last athlete before I get married kind of deal. I've seen it a million times. Oh yeah and she apparently enjoys cocaine and fucking her husband's business partner. I think we found our new president...of Vivid Entertainment.

SI Cover Says It All: "Kickin' Sweet Live Ass"

Via Dan Patrick