I WISH I COULD BE A BLONDE SWEDISH NANNY

Elin: I got a secret...you are fucked!

Before Elin Nordegren met Tiger Woods she was a Swedish nanny along with her twin sister for professional golfer Jesper Parnevik. Her duties included changing diapers, looking hot, and taking the kids to the pool along with feeding them and traveling around the world. She had a tough life I know. Then Parnevik hooked up fellow golfer Tiger Woods, you may have heard of him, with a date with the blonde bombshell. Then they fell in love and got married and had kids and everything seemed wonderful. Until Tiger's hundreds of mistresses started coming out of the closet. The marriage quickly fizzled and now divorce is all but certain. Elin was humiliated and claimed to have no idea her husband was an athlete who liked to fuck other broads on the road and in this case even in their house. She had her head so far buried in the sand she could have struck oil.

And in the long run guess what this got her? $750 million dollars!

RadarOnline has the exclusive details...

The final divorce is imminent, a source close to the situation told RadarOnline.com.

“They’ve agreed on all the major points,” one source told us. “It’s all been worked out privately.

“Both Tiger and Elin are very close to finishing the negotiations and filing and signing the paperwork.”

Elin is expected to receive approximately $750 million in the settlement.

So in terms of dollars that is $375 million per kid. If he did in fact screw 120 women as some people have claimed while married that would equate to $6.25 million per mistress. And here I am worrying about spending too much money on a sirloin steak. Tiger is about to write a check for more money than most countries GDP. FML.

Congratulations Elin! You hit the jackpot! Please come change my diaper.

Here are some more pictures of the most expensive nanny in the world...