SportsCrack Blog

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

THE NEW VEST IN PEACE O$U JIM TRESSEL SHIRT




This is probably the greatest smack talk t-shirt of all-time. No kidding. We call it the "VEST IN PEACE" shirt and already shirts are selling in the hundreds. This shirt is already a classic and it's not even a couple of hours old.

The front of the shirt is a traditional sweatervest gravestone with "VEST IN PEACE LIAR LIAR VEST ON FIRE 2001-2011 COLUMBUS, OHIO" etched on it.

On the back of the shirt it says "Tressel DOTTING THE i IN LIAR O$U $UCKEYE$."

You can get your very own shirt by ordering here at SportsCrack.com

Also available in RED for all the Nebraska and Wisconsin Fans...



Take A Deep Breath: Blake Lively Nude Pictures Leaked


Some people remember exactly where they were when Kennedy was shot or when they lost their virginity. Today I will remember exactly where I was when Gossip Girl star and currently Leonard Dicaprio's latest notch on the belt Blake Lively's nude pictures leaked on the internet. Obviously these pictures are NSFW and obviously they are fucking awesome. Click on the pictures to get the uncensored versions. Welcome to the summer heat! USA! USA! USA!



Blake Lively NSFW Nude Shot
Blake Lively NSFW Nude Shot 2
Blake Lively NSFW Nude Shot 3

NBA Finals Prediction


Before the season started we all kind of knew the best team in the NBA would be the Miami Heat. Sure we hated the way they were assembled with Lebron James doing an ESPN Special for a hour while slowly tearing out the collective heart of Clevelanders. It was unnecessary but once Chris Bosh signed too we figured the Heat were the odds-on favorites to win the Title. What we didn't know was how much they would struggle against winning ballclubs during the regular season. Literally the Heat sucked against teams like the Lakers, Mavericks, Celtics, Magic, etc. But now they are playing their best basketball and have advanced rather easily to the NBA Finals.

With the Heat in the Finals there is little doubt in my mind they win this series versus the Dallas Mavericks.

Dirk Nowitzki has played incredible throughout the playoffs and pretty much has put Dallas on his German shoulders. But now we have reached the Finals and the Heat just have too much star power. You know Dwayne Wade is going to play like a NBA Finals MVP. You know Lebron is going to be hustling his ass off and will be lockdown on defense. And you know Chris Bosh will be the glue that gets some key rebounds and scores some big time baskets inside.

Tonight I will take Dallas beating the +4.5 as dogs on the road.

Prediction: Heat 97 Mavericks 94

In the series I got the Heat winning in 6. It pays out 5.5.

Rugby Fan Gone Topless



I'm intentionally avoiding the Atlanta Thrashers moving to Winnipeg story because honestly it just infuriates me too much so I figured I would post things that don't irritate me. Namely boobs. Oh yeah. Much better now.

Top 23 Air Jordans Presented By Playboy



I've never owned a pair of Air Jordan kicks. Now Playboys are a different story. What? I like the articles.

Softball? Not Exactly



I didn't even know this kind of shit was possible. Saturday's Baylor vs. Georgia softball game saw catcher Clare Hosack take one right off the face in the super regional game in Athens. It's not the first time a chick has taken one off the face in Athens. Zing!

Derek Dooley On The College Scandals


Tennessee Volunteers head football coach Derek Dooley was asked today by Clay Travis on what he tells his coaches about college scandals. His response was short but oh so sweet.

"If we get fired around here, it better be for losing ballgames."

It's Official: Terrelle Pryor Is Fucking Retarded


CREDIT: WBNS-TV COLUMBUS / DAN FRONCZAK by sportsxbrooks

This feels like one of those Saturday Night Live sketches. I mean REALLY? Your head coach just resigned because of issues with players getting cars and what do you show up in Terrelle Pryor? A fucking Nissan with dealer plates.

Smacks heads and laughs out loud. There is dumb. Then there is Terrelle Pryor dumb.

Buckeye Nation wants to put the blame on Roy Small for being a snitch. Well at least he doesn't flaunt it like Pryor does.

Video via SportsByBrooks

The Buckeyes Are Fucked



George Dohrmann's Sports Illustrated Investigation on the Ohio State Buckeyes football program was the final nail in the coffin for head coach Jim Tressel but it's really just the start of future sanctions.

For too long now Tressel has buried his head in the sand and let his players run amok with shady boosters, dirty tattoo parlors, and fast talking car salesmen while racking up the most important stat in college football: wins. In Dohrmann's article he reveals it was not just a few select players who bent the NCAA rules which Tressel and athletic director Gene Smith (who should also be fired) wanted everyone to believe. It was as much the players fault (at least 28 OSU players are alleged to have traded or sold memorabilia for either tattoos, money, cars or marijuana) as it was Tressel and the compliance office at Ohio State. It was a systematic disregard of the NCAA rules.

In four words: lack of institutional control.




The NCAA has already hammered USC for the Reggie Bush fiasco and stripped away the Heisman, National Championship, along with 30 scholarships and future bowl games. If Ohio State wants to avoid a stiffer penalty they need to stop pretending it never happened.

With Tressel's resignation it really is just the first domino to fall. Tressel is the first fall guy. Don't get me wrong the guy is a wolf dressed is a sweatervest hiding behind his "Christian" values shtick. But this goes to everyone around that football program. From the businesses to the boosters to the athletic director. The AD Smith should be fired or resign immediately. If Ohio State wants to save face and show they are not just another program gone rogue they need to clean house now. Not two months from now. Not a year from today. Right now.

The first order of business for Ohio State is a self imposed bowl suspension for at least this season. The Buckeyes already have 5 vital players suspended for the first 5 games of the season. Sure they could make a run for the Big Ten Championship but in all likelihood it will just be vacated later.

The second order of business is to suspend quarterback Terrelle Pryor for good. He should never wear a Buckeyes uniform again. Ever since his recruitment with his brand new Corvette Pryor has been pictured around campus driving at least 8 different cars with dealer tags on them. It's fairly obvious that Pryor has been taking handouts from anybody who offers. It's only a matter of time before the NCAA finds out Pryor has gotten Reggie Bush-like perks while in Columbus. If the Buckeyes want to wipe the slate clean they need to get rid of the shit.

The third order of business is to get a new compliance department. They haven't done their job. Plain and simple. It just amazes me how they couldn't know any of this stuff was happening especially when it involves your highest profile athletes and coach.

In conclusion if I were the Buckeyes and wanted to avoid any potential "death penalty" I would consider the 2011 season a probation season. If they self impose at least a one year postseason ban (no Big Ten Championship game or bowl game) and reduce scholarships by 15 over the next 3 years then I think they have a shot at getting past any possible future sanctions from the NCAA. But if they refuse to acknowledge the fact that they have continued to break NCAA rules and want to put all the blame on Tressel then they are going to get hammered by the NCAA.

Either way the Buckeyes football program is fucked in the short term. But if they have dreams of landing Urban Meyer in the future then 2011 needs to be a year of admitting your faults and sobering up while wiping the slate clean completely. Will it happen? Probably not. They are nuts after all up there.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Dick Move By Mike Bibby



I know in the grand scheme of things what Miami Heat's point guard Mike Bibby did isn't that big of a deal but it's still a dick move. You are a professional athlete. Act like one. Derrick Rose probably would have missed the free throw even without Bibby's throwing the towel because Rose is no Dirk.

I know Derrick Rose got the MVP and he had a tremendous regular season so I don't want to take anything away from that but he looked like shit this entire playoffs. Sure he has some brilliant plays and dunks but his shooting was terrible. I wouldn't even put him in the Allen Iverson class yet. At least Iverson could shoot 50% and hit his free throws. If Rose had a good series vs. the Heat then there is little doubt in my head the Bulls are in the Finals.

By the way I would love to see Bibby pulls this shit in Dallas with Dirk at the line. I can already see Mark Cuban clothes lining the asshole.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Nice Set of Melons Hillary Duff



Hillary Duff was showing off her Sobe melons at some stupid challenge thing a ma jig in New York City. Seriously what the fuck is Sobe? Is it one of those dumb tea drinks? I fucking hate tea. I'd rather drink water from the men's urinal then have tea. It's fucking leaf water. Disgusting.

Scale of 1-to-10 about how dirty Hillary Duff is in the sack. I'm going to go 8.5. She has to be pretty freaky to stay married to a professional athlete.

Buster Posey Suffers Broken Leg And Ligament Damage, Cue Overreacting SportsWriters With New Rules

Last night in the top of the 12th inning in a tie ball game between the Giants and the Marlins with one out and runners on the corners the Marlins Emilio Bonifacio hit a lazy fly ball to shallow right center field. The Marlins Scott Cousins was tagging at third and came barreling down on Giants catcher Buster Posey trying to knock the ball loose for what would be the winning go-ahead run.

As you can see the ball never stuck in Posey's mitt and in the process Buster got taken out while his left ankle/leg snapped during the collision with Cousins. Immediately you could tell something was wrong. Posey was in sheer pain. Not only did he break his leg but he also tore some ligaments around his left ankle. Essentially the Giant's lost their most valuable player for the season. The reigning Rookie of the Year who bats cleanup for the defending World Series Champions. It's a huge blow no doubt and there is a chance we never see Posey behind the dish ever. But can we please stop sportswriters from trying to put the blame on a clean play. Cue Rob Neyer...

It should be considered a dirty play, though.

And I'm not the only one. From one Buster this morning, we have a perfectly reasonable reaction from another Buster's agent:

Posey's agent, Jeff Berry, said Thursday morning he is going to reach out to Joe Torre, leader of on-field operations for Major League Baseball, and raise the idea of changing the rules regarding plays at the plate.

Over time, it is has become accepted practice for catchers to block home plate, and for baserunners to launch themselves into catchers.

"You leave players way too vulnerable," Berry said. "I can tell you Major League Baseball is less than it was before [Posey's injury]. It's stupid. I don't know if this ends up leading to a rule change, but it should. The guy [at the plate] is too exposed.

"If you go helmet to helmet in the NFL, it's a $100,000 fine, but in baseball, you have a situation in which runners are [slamming into] fielders. It's brutal. It's borderline shocking. It just stinks for baseball. I'm going to call Major League Baseball and put this on the radar. Because it's just wrong."

Of course it's wrong. Baseball was not designed, and is not best played, as a contact sport.


Neyer cites what Posey's agent thinks about the play and I don't understand what the point is. Berry of course is going to have a strong opinion against catchers being taken out because he just saw his number one client and a potential huge commission check literally break in half as soon as Posey's leg crumpled underneath him. It sucks but it's part of the game and again it was a clean play by Cousins.

Baseball for the most part is not a contact sport. But there is always a risk when you put on the catcher's gear. It's not for the faint of heart. Posey knew the risk of choosing his path as a backstop. Catchers take a beating every night. But to ask MLB to change the rules because somebody got hurt is dumb. I take it the next time a player gets injured while being taken out at second base trying to break up the double play then we should change the rules according to Neyer? How about we don't allow pitchers to hit batters anymore because of potential risk?

There is no way MLB will give Neyer's argument the time of day. At least I hope so.

South Park Has A Little Something For The "Non-Profit" NCAA

Last night's South Park was pure brilliance. You have Cartman starting a Crack Baby Athletic Association in which him and Kyle make money off the crack babies but don't pay them. They get a deal with EA Sports to use the images and likenesses of the crack babies. Again they don't have to give anything back to the crack babies except for the opportunity to play in the league. Sound familiar? Cartman starts to refer to his "student-athletes" as slaves in a hysterical plantation owner's Louisiana accent while in a meeting with the University of Colorado President.


Are you a recruiting nut like myself? Well Cartman and Butters turn into full blown recruiters for unborn crack babies. "I can not offer you any cash...I can offer you though some crack!" Sounds like what coaches offer recruits. We will give you Nike clothing and cars but no money. It's unethical.



In the end the South Park kids get screwed over by EA Sports, a major corporation who makes hundreds of millions off of the "student-athletes" while the slaves get nothing. Chances of EA Sports suing South Park for slander after seeing this clip? I'm going to say 90%. Fucking lawyers.


Big ass hat tip to Trey Parker and Matt Stone for tackling the NCAA issues.


You can watch the full episode here.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

USC Trojans Denied Appeal By The NCAA


The dirty filthy Trojans of USC were hoping to get off sanctions with an appeal to the NCAA. Well those dickheads found out today that their appeal has been denied. USC will be on probation and will still lose 30 football scholarships plus they can't play in a bowl game according to USCFootball.com.


Wednesday, according to multiple sources inside and outside the university, the final decision of the NCAA's Infractions Appeals Committee was in hand and being reviewed by USC before its Thursday release by the NCAA.

And it's not good news for USC football.

Despite speculation and media reports that there might be a willingness on the part of the NCAA to listen favorably to a USC appeal that had asked that the 30 scholarships lost over three years with a maximum of 75 allowed and a two-year postseason bowl ban be cut in half, USCFootball.com's sources indicate that USC's appeal has been denied completely.

The Trojans football team will be allowed to sign no more than 15 players to scholarships for the next three seasons (against a top limit of 25 for schools not under sanction).

And of even more immediate impact, USC would not be able to compete for the first-ever Pac-12 championship or appear in the first-ever postseason championship game in 2011 as well.

Of further concern, the NCAA's unprecedented additional sanction allowing players affected by the postseason ban this year to immediately transfer to another institution without sitting out a season would still be in play for this year's seniors.


It's a good thing head coach Lane Kiffin keeps selling recruits his blatant lies about the sanctions being removed. With USC football being irrelevant for the next 5 or so years (one could argue it was irrelevant as soon as they hired Kiffin) it will be interesting to see how the power shifts west of the Mississippi River. We all know Texas was down last season and Oklahoma plays like shit in the BCS Bowls for the most part so is this the opportunity for a school like Oregon to take full advantage of USC's plight and start dominating the West Coast? I think so. They already stole 5 star recruit and admitted USC fan De'Anthony Thomas from the Trojan's backyard last season. Oregon is the new USC.

Suck it Trojans!

It's So Hard To Say Good Bye To Oprah Winfrey



I can just see it now. Tate Forcier wondering who Oprah Winfrey is. Come to think of it maybe I wish I was as dumb as Forcier.

Tate Forcier Obviously Is Geographically Illiterate


Now we know why Tate Forcier flunked out of Michigan last season. The sophomore who started all 12 games for the Wolverines during his freshman season but saw limited time as a sophomore thanks to Shoelace transferred from Michigan and was supposedly headed to Miami. That is before he looked at a map and realized "Da U" is on the exact opposite coast of where he would like to be playing. There is no reason for me to explain any further. Here is what the "student" athlete had to say in regards to his transfer....

"I just didn't feel comfortable and wanted to be closer to home," Forcier said. "Miami is completely on the other side of the country. It would have been fun playing there. But I just wanted to be closer so my parents can afford to come to the games."


Ok that would make sense. He wants to be close to family and it had nothing to do with playing time or not getting along with new Miami head coach Al Golden who doesn't put up with me-first attitudes. It's all about geography and being close to California. So what school is he looking at now you ask?

"I'm looking into Auburn," Forcier said.




Seriously? How did this 'tard ever qualify to play at Michigan? Last time I checked Auburn was in Alabama. It's not exactly a short car ride away from California. You never go full retard Tate. Never.

WTF is Ray Lewis talking about?



Now I'm definitely convinced he killed those guys in Buckhead. If anyone wants to know what the rapture looks like then just stare in Lewis' eyes for a moment. The greatest middle linebacker to ever play in the NFL thinks in all honesty the lockout is going to lead to an increase in crime. What the fuck is he talking about? Personally I don't agree with him. Now would I say that to his face? Hell no! I value my life.

In conclusion Ray Lewis is a bat shit crazy dude who is bound to go on a crime spree if the NFL Lockout doesn't end. Your move owners.

Kim Kardashian is engaged to Nets Forward Kris Humphries


Who the fuck is Kris Humphries? Apparently he plays for the New Jersey Nets and is engaged to Kim Kardashian. That's who. The reality star who is famous for her sex tape with Ray J (NSFW link) and who dated Reggie Bush before meeting Humphries is now engaged to some guy I had never heard of before today. They have only been dating for six months and he is about two feet taller than she is. It should work out well between these two lovebirds. She got the athlete and he doesn't need to worry about spreading any NBA STD's since Kim already has them. Just another fairy tale story.

Barry Bonds Is Actually A Good Guy


Forget about the smug attitude. Forget about the huge head that orbits our Earth which was caused by cow steroids. Forget about the surliness and the fact that most of his teammates couldn't stand him let alone the general public. Forget about all that because...wait for it...Barry Bonds is actually a good guy.

Bonds has agreed to pay for the college educations of the two young children of San Francisco Giants fan Bryan Stow, the single father who was beaten into a coma at Dodgers Chavez Ravine Stadium after Opening Night. Yes sir, Bonds, despite all his legal troubles is willing to stick his own neck out for two kids he doesn't even know.

Well, here's a move that both sides should finally be able to agree on: Bonds has pledged to pay any future college bills for the two grade-school age children of Bryan Stow, the single father and San Francisco Giants fan who was beaten into a coma by two men after attending the opening night game at Dodger Stadium on March 31.
That little heartwarming nugget was revealed by Stow's attorney Thomas Girardi — and first reported by NBC Bay Area — as he announced a lawsuit against the Los Angeles Dodgers on Tuesday for allegedly providing inadequate security at the stadium that night.
Girardi said that donations already made by generous fans of the Giants, Dodgers and other teams will be passed onto other charities if their lawsuit is successful. But the hefty gift from Bonds? Well, that means so much to Stow's family that it's the one they definitely plan on keeping.
One of the coolest parts about this donation is that Bonds made it over a month ago when he visited Stow in a southern California hospital on April 22. No mention was made to the media then and it looks like it would have still been a secret had Girardi not revealed it to the media. Even if you've always been a Bonds hater, there's no way you can say this wasn't done for all the right reasons.


I'm as big of a Bonds hater as anybody but even this story made me change my view on the embattled slugger. I'm still not giving him a pass for juicing and I'm certainly not endorsing him for Cooperstown but I am endorsing him as a good human being. Bonds didn't have to do anything for Stow and his children. He didn't even want the media coverage. But he got both done and I say bravo to Bonds. You earned a tip of the hat from SportsCrack today.

The Navy Seal Who Killed Osama Bin Laden Has Been Revealed



It's about fucking time we found out who the Navy Seal was. An American Hero? Fuck yeah.