HITLER FINDS OUT TONY ROMO BROKE UP WITH JESSICA SIMPSON

I am sorry but these Hitler skits never get old. I almost lost my breakfast when he mentions Lindsay Lohan taking a dump. Priceless.

BLAST FROM THE PAST-HERSCHEL WALKER

"My god a freshman!"-Larry Munson

There will never be another runningback like Georgia's Herschel Walker. He either ran over you or past you and if you saw big #34 carrying the ball you knew great things were going to happen. Larry Munson gets a chub when he hears the name "Herschel" even to this day. I do too.

BLAST FROM THE PAST-TIM BROWN

I am getting the chills hearing the late Harry Kalas call those catches by Tim Brown. It's too bad NBC can't get a voice that resonates like Harry did for their Notre Dame broadcasts. Just a little over 50 days till college football is back in case you are counting. I'm looking forward to seeing Golden Tate, Michael Floyd, and Armando Allen channel their inner "Touchdown Timmy" this season starting September 5th.

RANDOM JOKE

Guy walks into the bedroom carrying a sheep in his arms and says,

"Honey, this is the cow I make love to when you have a headache."

The wife, laying in the bed reading a book, looks up and says,

"If you weren't such an idiot, you'd know that's a sheep, not a cow."

The guy replies, "If you weren't such a presumptuous bitch, you'd

realize I was talking to the sheep."

HT: Jeff


"BAAAAAHHHHHH"

NOTRE DAME GRABS ANOTHER FLORIDA RECRUIT IN SPENCER BOYD

Florida high school cornerback Spencer Boyd will pick Notre Dame tomorrow over Georgia and Michigan according to the Cape-Coral-Daily-Breeze...

"I talked to Spencer (Tuesday) and he told me he was going to verbally commit to Notre Dame," Cape High coach Mike Goebbel said. "He thought that was the best place for him. He was excited and his parents are excited about it."

Boyd (5-foot-10, 178 pounds) is entering his senior year with the Seahawks. He's expected to play defensive back at the college level after contributing all over the field for the Seahawks since his freshman year.

Boyd is the second Florida cornerback to join the Irish to go along with Lo Wood. Both are 3 star recruits as of this moment but since they picked Notre Dame they should move up a star or two. That was a recruiting joke by the way. A very poor one. It's great to see Notre Dame recruiting the state of Florida now as aggressively as they have California the past few seasons. As we all know the Sunshine State produces a ton of top notch football recruits and anytime you can steal a player like Boyd from Georgia and Michigan then you have done your homework precisely.

Boyd is the 13th verbal commitment for the Irish and the 7th on the defensive side of the ball. If they can finish up with players that they stand a good chance at such as Anthony Barr, Sean Parker, Dion Bailey, David Amerson, and Josh Shaw on the defensive side then it would be a hell of a defensive haul for Corwin Brown and Jon Tenuta.

Go to Notre Dame's Rival page for the most up to date recruiting information.

SALAD ANYONE?

Nah! I will stick with the hot dogs...




Image HT: WWTDD

NOTRE DAME REVEALED IT'S OFFICIAL SHIRT OF 2009

Courtesy of EDSBS.com comes the 2009 version of the Notre Dame student and alumni shirt. "Piss and Moan" seems about right especially when it comes to the older Notre Dame crowd if you dare stand up during the actual game and cheer for the Fighting Irish.

This is why we introduced our new "Tailgate Like A Champion" shirt for 2009. No more pissing or moaning or bitching about the last two seasons. Shut the hell up because Notre Dame is going to be back in full force and ready to kick some serious ass this year. Go away doubters because I don't need your negativity. Grab yourself a beer or two as the shirt suggests and let's get ready to have a great season...

JUST GET HERE ALREADY

Dear College Football,

It's been way too long since we last saw each other. Just the thought of Saturdays in the fall bring me back to those days when we would literally wake up in each other's arms and then go to bed with each other after finishing those 30 packs. Sure I could tell you that you don't mean that much to me and that baseball can fill my insatiable needs while you are gone but then of course I would not only be lying to you but myself as well. I miss you. I need you. Life is hell without you. Please come back. I'm on my knees begging.

Love you,

Matt

P.S.-I attached a little video to show you how much I care and think about you. Just get here already.

TONY ROMO: PRODUCT SPOKESMAN

Tony Romo seems to be recovering nicely from his break up with Jessica Simpson. And by nicely I mean he is plunging in knee deep in road beef all over this great nation.

LOVE ME SOME TACO BELL

It's all about the Roosevelts baby! I love this commercial. If I had a choice to eat fast food every day it would have to be Taco Bell. Of course if I carried out that choice I would be tipping the scales at Andre Smith weight right now. Taco Bell is even coming out with some environmental friendly food...

Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature

I APOLOGIZE ERIN ANDREWS...

For being a complete idiot the other day when I questioned your weight loss. Last night you proved to know it all bloggers like myself to never question the power of Erin Andrews. If you must punish me I ask you do it while wearing this dress you wore at the ESPY's the other night...



That dress is straight out of a 80's hair band video which is a great thing. Keep it up Andrews.

Image HT: Extra Mustard

ANOTHER REASON WHY COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS GREAT

Because we can have incessant arguments with no real winners or losers about who is better. Take for instance this argument heading into the season. Who is the better safety?

USC's Taylor Mays...


or Tennessee's Eric Berry?...


You be the judge Sportscrack heads. Who would you rather have patrolling your secondary this season? I think I would take Eric Berry but you can't go wrong with either.

ERIN ANDREWS IS ON THE MICHAEL JACKSON DIET

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of Erin Andrews. Ever since she started rocking the television screen during Atlanta Thrashers broadcasts it's been hard to ignore her and for good reason. But seriously Erin eat something. Anything. Ketchup packets if you may. Maybe she is paying homage to Wacko Jacko. God knows she won't have a hard time getting little boys to come to her.

Image HT: TheBigLead

PRINCE FIELDER WINS HOME RUN DERBY

23 total home runs including one that traveled an estimated 503 feet from big Prince's bat got him the win in this year's Home Run Derby. Fielder beat the Ranger's Nelson Cruz by 2 home runs but it didn't have the flair of last year when Josh Hamilton hit 28 home runs in one round. I think Prince is long overdue for a shirt from us. Any suggestions?

URBAN MEYER: "I'M NOT GOING TO NOTRE DAME. EVER."

According to the SunSentinel.com Florida head football coach Urban Meyer has all but squashed my wet dream of coming true:

At last weekend's Bob Dooley Invitational, a fundraising event put on by Gainesville Sun columnist Pat Dooley, Meyer announced "I'm not going to Notre Dame. Ever."

What an a-hole! How could he not want to leave hot and humid Gainesville for the bleak coldness of South Bend? It just doesn't make sense. Sure the Gators have more talent and he has won 2 National Titles in 3 years while playing in the toughest conference in the nation but it's Notre Dame. The Gipper played there. Jesus tailgates there. What is the world coming to when the most successful coach in college football no longer wants to coach at the most prestigious university not named Stanford?

Actually I think I know why Urban said he isn't going to Notre Dame. It's because Charlie Weis finally has a squad full of talent, depth and experience and with their weak ass schedule this year they have an outside shot at going undefeated. Sure this is coming from a Notre Dame fan but who besides USC is really that good on their schedule this upcoming season? Michigan blows. Not one other top 25 team is on their schedule. So stay put Urban and win your 3rd title in 4 years.

/wipes tears away

SAY IT AIN'T SO: TONY ROMO DUMPS JESSICA SIMPSON

I know it comes as a shock to all of you, but prepare yourself by sitting down and adjusting your Tampax. This is going to be rough for both of us. The inevitable has happened. Tony Romo, star choke artist quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys has dumped Pop Star/Reality "Star" Jessica Simpson a day before her 29th birthday. I know the horror of it all is really hard to take but there is some explanation according to the New York Daily News...

"She is heartbroken," says the source. "She loves Tony. But it's been difficult lately. He's busy with his career and she's getting ready to shoot her show (The Price of Beauty). They decided to part ways."

Wait a second here. Simpson has a show coming out called "The Price of Beauty?" Poor girl. It must suck to have enormous fun bags that have earned her so much more money than an actual talented ugly person would have. Think of the Kelly Clarkson's of the world and how they feel Jessica. I think Romo dumped her because she is approaching the big 3-0 in less than a year. When you are QB of the Dallas Cowboys, no matter how pitiful your post-November NFL record is, you don't settle for washed up Pop Stars nearing their 30's. You turn her in for better "Road Beef." It's the law of the Dallas Star.

BROCK LESNAR IS A BAD MOFO

Frank Mir's face looks eerily similar to unrefrigerated three day old pastrami. I would say Brock Lesnar won the UFC 100 fight fair and square. And by fair I mean gay. Too much men wrestling for my liking.

FORMER #1 PICK MATT BUSH IS DOING GREAT

This is what happens when you get drafted by the San Diego Padres. Your world starts to crumble as your baseball skills and ability to stay sober without crying vanish. Let this be a lesson to everybody that there is crying in baseball. Bush league move if you ask me.

KATE FROM JON AND KATE PLUS 8 IS DOING GREAT

Kate Gosselin Match.com Profile Video - watch more funny videos

I figured since I posted the Jon one a couple of weeks ago why not see how Kate is doing on Match.com. You got to love the backwards mullet guys. It's great to know a haircut derived from Alabama backwoods country can make it all the way to mainstream America.

SEE YA SOON FRENCHY!

The Atlanta Braves have traded young but inconsistent RF Jeff Francoeur to the hated New York Mets for Ryan Church. It sucks to see a Georgia native leave the team but it needed to be done. Frenchy needed the new scenery and I am genuinely pulling for him to do well except when he plays against the Braves of course. You can't knock the kid for not trying, it always seemed to me at least he put in a 100% effort and hustled and wanted to win with the Braves. But things didn't work out for obvious reasons: Terry Pendleton. All kidding aside I don't think Church is the answer in right field but I sure as hell think that Jayson Heyward will be. Heyward is currently the #1 prospect in all of minor league baseball according to Baseball America but he won't be up in Atlanta till 2010 at the earliest.

RUNNING OF THE BULLS NOT SO MUCH FUN FOR THIS GUY

Via The Big Lead comes the news of the first fatality since 1995 from the running of the bulls...

"A man died after being gored in the neck during the annual running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain, the Navarra regional government said Friday on its Web site … [he is] a Spanish man, Daniel Jimeno Romero, age 27, from the Madrid area who was vacationing in Pamplona with his family.”

Count me in the group of people who never really understands why these people get in front of a loose bull and don't expect something bad to happen. I guess you could call me a pussy but I don't see the thrill in running away from a raging bull. If I am in Spain I would rather be sitting on a beach or in a cafe drinking a beer and kicking back. Not running away from a fucking bull. I'm always the guy rooting for the bull in these situations too. You don't fuck with an animal as big as a bull and expect to come out unscathed. I went to a bullfight in Mexico about ten years ago. I honestly had no idea they killed the bull till I got there. It was pretty fucking gross and brutal. Since then I've always been on the "Toros" side. Here is a helpful hint if you don't want to get gored in the neck by a bull: DO NOT FUCK WITH ONE.

Now excuse me while I finish my hamburger.

HAWAIIAN HITMAN HIS MISSION: DESTROY USC SHIRT

If you are a Notre Dame fan then I think this shirt needs little if any explanation. The new Hawaiian linebacker is considering taking a mission but we all know what that mission has become: DESTROY USC.

The shirt is available in navy or irish green for the low price of $17. A portion of all sales goes to the American Cancer Society. Hopefully someday we can HIT cancer hard enough to eliminate it. Thanks for the support!

FRIDAY MUSIC SELECTION

I have been on a heavy Eddie Vedder kick ever since I saw him live a few weeks ago. The habit is getting a little out of control. Just the other day I called my dog "Daughter" as he was barking at me and then cursed politics for being all political and stuff. So this is it for a while. Pearl Jam is shown performing "Crazy Mary" at the House Of Blues in Orlando in 2003.

ANOTHER REASON WHY COLLEGE FOOTBALL IS GREAT

Notre Dame gunner Mike Anello, a former walk-on who plays every play like it's his last...


Via Blue-Gray Sky comes this video of Notre Dame special teams extraordinaire Mike Anello who some describe as a modern day "Rudy." Anello was a walk-on like Rudy Ruettiger and has a similar build (generously listed at 5'10, 170 lbs) but unlike Rudy he has earned a scholarship and for good reason: the guy is a tackling machine. Just another reason why I can't wait to watch some college football. Gotta root for the little guy!

OBAMA THANKS RUSSIA FOR OVECHKIN

I can see why Obama wanted to thank Russia for Washington Capitals star Alexander Ovechkin. He is the best hockey player in the world and he makes hockey in our nation's capital bearable. On a personal note I want to thank Russia for Stoli and supermodel Natasha Polevshchikova for making my life bearable...

DANIEL MURPHY'S BEHIND THE BACK FLIP

Play of the night goes to the Met's Daniel Murphy for this ridiculous behind the back flip to the pitcher to get the out.