Tuesday, February 09, 2016

Triumph the Insult Dog Takes Down Young Voters and the Democratic Debates

I gotta say it's been a few years since I've seen any Triumph material.  It's kinda scary to think he started on Conan about 20 years ago.  Fuck getting old sucks.  But watching Triumph tear apart some college coeds never gets old...

And for all the poor people/trustafarian/liberal voters here is Triumph at the Democratic debates.  Don't worry Bernie Sanders was not harmed.

Monday, February 08, 2016

Carolina Panther Thomas Davis Posted a Picture of His Broken Arm

Excuse me while I go throw my guts out into the toilet.  Good lord.  Thomas Davis arm looks like an actual football.  Like I thought that was a Wilson football coming out of the factory.  And he played with a broken arm!  Talk about the ultimate warrior.

The Best SuperBowl 50 Commercial Was This Doritos One

The Super Bowl game for the most part was lame besides seeing Von Miller and Demarcus Ware tear Cam Newton a new one and overall from the commercials I saw this Doritos Ultrasound one was the only one I laughed out loud to.  Doritos are basically crack chips.  And that baby had an addiction so bad it just had to come out.  Love the reaction of the doctor.  I've seen that face many of times before the girl does the walk of shame.

Friday, February 05, 2016

NFL Bad Lip Reading is Back!

C-C-C-C-Cocaine.  The funniest was part was not having to decipher Cam Newton.  That was straight live mic homes.

Wednesday, February 03, 2016

Check Out The Notre Dame Signing Class of 2016 With In-Depth Interviews and Highlights

Ian Book, QB, 3 Star

Tony Jones, RB, 3 Star

Deon McIntosh, RB, 3 Star

Chase Claypool, WR, 4 Star

Javon McKinley, WR, 4 Star

Kevin Stepherson, WR, 4 Star (Early Enrollee)

Parker Boudreaux, OG, 5 Star

Liam Eichenberg, OT, 4 Star

Tommy Kraemer, OT, 5 Star

Julian Okwara, DL, 4 Star

Khalid Kareem, DL, 4 Star (Early Enrollee)

Adetokunbo Ogundeji, DL, 3 Star

Daelin Hayes, LB/DE, 5 Star (Early Enrollee)

Jonathan Jones, MLB, 4 Star

Jamir Jones, LB/DE, 4 Star

DJ Morgan, DB, 4 Star

Spencer Perry, DB, 4 Star (Early Enrollee)

Jalen Elliott, DB, 3 Star

Donte Vaughn, DB, 4 Star

Julian Love, DB, 3 Star

Troy Pride Jr., DB, 4 Star

Devin Studstill, DB, 4 Star (Early Enrollee)

John Shannon, LS, 2 Star

5 Star Safety Deontay Anderson Commits To Ole Miss While Jumping Out of a Plane

I actually enjoy these type of college football commitments rather than the lame hat on the table deal.

5 star safety Deontay Anderson pulled the ultimate signing day thrill by jumping out of a fucking plane and committing to Ole Miss.  Talk about some balls.  And I'm not talking about the skydiving part.  We all know Ole Miss has sanctions coming up from the NCAA.  Enjoy being on a middle of the road at best SEC team.  But at least the check cleared.

Friday, January 29, 2016

Ole Mi$$ Formally Charge By NCAA for Rules Violations

I know what you are thinking.  No way can such an outstanding, well run traditional college football program like Ole Miss be cheating.  It's just unimaginable.  We all knew their top 5 recruiting classes were legit.  I mean the Ole Miss name just sells itself around the nation, perhaps the world.  But brace  yourself for it.  The NCAA thinks they cheated.

Yahoo's Pat Forde broke the story...

The NCAA has formally charged the University of Mississippi with dozens of rules violations in three sports, multiple sources told Yahoo Sports.
The school has received a Notice of Allegations from the NCAA enforcement staff alleging roughly 30 violations in football, women’s basketball and track and field, sources told Yahoo. It is unclear at present what the breakdown is in terms of violations by sport. The NCAA does not comment on current, pending or potential investigations.
Calls to officials at Mississippi were not immediately returned Friday. Southeastern Conference spokesman Herb Vincent declined comment to Yahoo Sports.
I've said it before but Ole Miss doesn't get guys like Laquon Treadwell (Chicago kid) and Laremy Tunsil (Georgia kid committed to Dawgs who last second flipped aka got paid) and Robert Nkemdiche (another Georgia kid who everybody wanted) unless they are breaking the rules.

I've heard first hand accounts of recruits going into hotel rooms on recruiting visits with cash laid out as a gift.  And these were for 3 star players.  I can only imagine how much it cost to get a Treadwell to say no to Michigan and Tunsil to say no to Georgia.  I'm thinking at least 5 figures and more than likely it was in the 6 figures considering Cam Newton was $200k.

So what will happen to head coach Hugh Freeze and his program?  Probably a light spanking.  Maybe some lost scholarships and forfeiture of wins (congrats Bama you can claim more National Titles!) but I don't see the NCAA coming down hard on a SEC program.  And I doubt ESPN presses the issue either.  It is what it is.


1. Titans - Laremy Tunsil, OT, Ole Miss
2. Browns - Carson Wentz, QB, North Dakota St
3. Chargers - Joey Bosa, DE, Ohio State
4. Cowboys - Jaylon Smith, LB, Notre Dame
5. Jaguars - Jalen Ramsey, S, FSU
6. Ravens - Ronnie Stanley, OT, Notre Dame
7. 49ers - Laquon Treadwell, WR, Ole Miss
8. Dolphins - Shaq Lawson, DE, Clemson
9. Buccaneers - Vernon Hargreaves, CB, Florida
10. Giants - DeForest Buckner, DE, Oregon
11. Bears - Myles Jack, LB, UCLA
12. Saints - MacKensie Alexander, CB, Clemson
13. Eagles - Jared Goff, QB, Cal
14. Raiders - Reggie Ragland, LB, Alabama
15. Rams - Paxton Lynch, QB, Memphis
16. Lions- Robert Nkemdiche, DT, Ole Miss
17. Falcons - Leonard Floyd, LB, Georgia
18. Colts - Ezekiel Elliott, RB, Ohio State
19. Bills - Andrew Billings, DT, Baylor
20. Jets - Connor Cook, QB, Michigan State
21. Redskins - Ashawn Robinson, DT, Alabama
22. Texans - Jarran Reed, DT, Alabama
23. Vikings - Noah Spence, LB, Eastern Kentucky
24. Bengals - Corey Coleman, WR, Baylor
25. Steelers - Eli Apple, CB, Ohio State
26. Seahawks - Taylor Decker, OT, Ohio State
27. Packers - Kenny Clark, DT, UCLA
28. Chiefs - Sheldon Rankins, DT, Louisville
29. Cardinals - Darron Lee, LB, Ohio State
30. Broncos - Jack Conklin, OT, Michigan State
31. Panthers - Kevin Dodd, DE, Clemson

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

New Johnny Manziel Video of Him Partying With Some Coeds

As we all know by now one Johnny Manziel aka Johnny Football aka Johnny Hangover aka Billy Vegas likes to party with the ladies.  He's like any other red, white and blue blooded American in his early 20's except he has a shit ton of money and plays (or played) QB in the NFL.  I'm not going to sit here on my high horse and shit on the guy because I did the same exact stuff back in my 20's.  Hell I would probably do it now if I wasn't married with kids.  (Hi honey I love you in case you are reading this)  So let's stop pretending this is some outrageous event because Manziel likes to party and have a good time.  And yes I know he went to "rehab" but we all know that was bullshit celebrity/pro athlete rehab.  Those are like party favors for us layman's.

P.S - I'm going to sound like a hypocrite because I am always on my phone but what is the need for people to record video/take pictures of every fucking thing especially when out partying?  All it is evidence that can be used against you.  Put away your fucking camera phones and rock out without recording it.

Double P.S - If you do record a celebrity partying send it to us.  I'll hook you up with a free shirt or some other shit.  I got a business to run here.

Video of Maty Mauk Snorting Cocaine Surfaces, Missouri Suspends Him

First off it's Cocaine 101 you never, ever let somebody film you while doing lines.  Second off you should never miss your cocaine line this bad as now former Mizzou QB Maty Mauk displayed in embarrassing fashion.  Mauk basically did a Carson Palmer in the NFC Championship and completely overthrew his receivers here.  For that alone he should be suspended.  You are a college QB.  Do better.  And by better I mean snort lines with authority like Dan Marino before his draft day.

UPDATE: For what it's worth teammates are saying this video is at least two years old.

Saturday, January 23, 2016

The Tom Brady vs Peyton Manning Rivalry Video Will Get You Hyped Up For The AFC Championship

Hard to disagree.  Peyton Manning, as good as he has been his whole career, does not even come close to Tom Brady in terms of greatness.  Peyton is a great statistical QB.  A regular season QB extraordinaire.  But as much as this pains me to say Tom Brady owns Peyton Manning in everything else.  Manning is basically the gimp inside Brady's cellar.  Brady is going for one for the thumb and to put his name up there with Joe Montana as the greatest QB of all-time.  Peyton is just selling Papa Johns pizzas and handing the ball off while relying on a great Broncos defense to win him games while hoping his neck doesn't pop from a stiff Rocky Mountain breeze.

Sunday can't come soon enough.