Monday, July 27, 2015

Donald Trump's "Make America Great Again" Hat Now On Sale



A message so simple.  So great.  So American.

Show your support for the good old USA with this classic "Make America Great Again" white hat.

BUY IT HERE!


Thursday, July 23, 2015

Check Out This Absurd Japanese Ballplayer Hitting Routine




I'm not 100% convinced this is real but holy shit it's funny.  This ballerina/ninja/samurai swordsman shit would never work here in the good ole US of A but I guess it's ok to do in Japan.  I don't even know how I would react if I was the pitcher and this asshole came to the plate.  Actually I do.  Let's just say wannabe Ichiro here would have a new neck tattoo featuring a deep red Rawlings stitches.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Notre Dame Fighting Irish Fans New T Shirt: Beat Texas Shirt ...Bevo It's What's For Dinner #IrishForever



College Football season is creeping up fast.  September 5th will be here before you know it.  

Lock in the perfect Irish shirt with this classic "BEAT TEXAS" shirt from SportsCrack Apparel.

ESPN Top 10 Preseason College Football Power Index is Hilarious

 

Well I needed a good laugh today but holy shit ESPN let's lay off the lemon Quaaludes before you go all Jordan Belfort on us and forget the lube.

Yes I know this is 100% an ESPN troll.  And yes I know I fucking fell for it again.  Congrats ESPN, you know how to rile me up.  And it really doesn't mean anything but still it gets my blood boiling.  It's like seeing your ex-girlfriend making out with a midget.  Sure it's funny and all but still it irritates and disgusts you.

I can deal with the first 4.  No doubt Ohio State, Alabama, Baylor and TCU are all serious contenders.  

But then we get to 5 and ESPN decides to bring out the big ole SEC floppy and shove it down our throats without even having the courtesy to ask us for a fluffer.  LSU, Georgia, and Ole Miss have shitshows at the QB position.  For as good as a conference the SEC is they know how to produce garbage QBs.  Oregon and Texas A&M have awful defenses.  Ole Miss and Arkansas I actually kind of respect because I think both could have good seasons but you can't put them top 10 preseason.  Seriously when was the last time those two had any chance of winning a championship?

USC, Georgia Tech, FSU, ND, Michigan State, Oklahoma, UCLA, Wisconsin, and host of other programs can make a strong argument for being in the top 10 but I guess since they don't play in the SEC we won't mention them.  It's all perfectly logical.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Tom Brady Has 4 Things to say to all the Haters


2015 College Football Hype Video



I can not fucking wait.  Football season needs to get here now.

My early playoff prediction is Ohio State, FSU, Notre Dame and Auburn.

Mets Fan Busts Ass



Whenever I feel shitty about baseball I can always fall back and thank the Lord I'm not a Mets fan.  They can't even sit down properly without embarrassing themselves.  They probably need a Phillies fan to help tie their shoes and a Braves fan to help wipe their ass before leaving the house.

Monday, July 13, 2015

SPECIAL ALL STAR DEAL: 50% OFF SALE


Use promo code SPORTSCRACK50 at www.etsy.com/shop/SportsCrack to get 50% off all our shirts and hoods!  Hurry before shirts sell out!

Bills Safety Duke Williams Called Out By Porn Star Mia Khalifa for Direct Messages


Until now I've never heard of the name Duke Williams.  Apparently Williams is a safety for the Buffalo Bills and enjoys hitting on porn stars on Twitter.

Mia Khalifa (I've done some extensive "research" on her and can confirm she is an active porn actress) apparently does NOT enjoy the attention or advances coming her way from a professional football player.  We all know porn stars hate being in the spotlight for sexual advances.  What do they think that's part of their job or something?

Hopefully Williams learned his lesson to not be sexist and instead will try to have sex with people who don't get paid for it.  Or maybe just focus on cleat chasers who won't blow their cover.

In the meantime here are some photos of Mia since I know Google these days is hard to find...








Monday, July 06, 2015

FSU QB De'Andre Johnson Caught on Camera Punching a Female



If Ray Rice has taught us anything it's this: if you are going to punch a female don't be caught on camera.  Apparently FSU QB De'Andre Johnson did not get the memo.  It takes a special kind of person to just throw a haymaker at a chick in the bar.  A "CRIMINOLE" one could say.


Johnson will no doubt face deep repercussions by head coach Jimbo Fisher.  If we learned anything from the Jameis Winston FSU saga it's that their program and police department don't take kindly to people who break the law.  If anything Johnson will probably get a slap on the wrist, a very heavy handed white glove slap and a couple of tomahawks for his helmet for connecting a fist to a girl's face.  He might even do a timeout in the corner.

Yeah that will teach him.  Lesson learned for De'Andre.

In all seriousness I would never, ever punch a lady.  But even after watching this video I think not much is going to happen to Johnson.  Technically she punched him first.  Yes he is a dick for punching her back but women can't expect to throw a punch without someone reacting back.  I wouldn't necessarily call it self defense for Johnson but if the roles were reversed she wouldn't be facing any charges.  Also thank God she wasn't wearing a "Dukes of Hazzard" shirt because she might have been burnt at the stake by Bubba Watson.

I think Bill Burr summarizes the no "reason" to ever hit a woman...

Rory McIlroy Ruptures Tendon, Called "A Leprechaun" by Fox News


Good lord lady.  Will you calm the fuck down?  You can't stand Rory McIlroy because you think he is a Leprechaun?  

I know what's going on here.  She's clearly all pissed off because Rory left one of those snack size Lucky Charms on her night stand.  I've seen it a million times.  Still doesn't make him a leprechaun.  They only exist in Mobile, AL.

Thursday, July 02, 2015

Parker Boudreaux Announces Commitment To Notre Dame By Pulling A Bus


First time I've seen this in the recruiting announcement game.  4 star offensive guard Parker Boudreaux decided to skip the hat game and instead decided to pull a 16,000 pound bus because you know that is what meathead football players do these days.

This Parker "kid" looks like Brock Lesnar and Ivan Drago's long lost love child.  With his commitment to Notre Dame it now gives the Fighting Irish the best offensive line trio in the country.  Boudreaux along with Liam Eichenberg and Tommy Kraemer could be the backbone for a powerful running game.

Offensive line coach Harry Hiestand continues to develop top notch linemen (see Zach Martin and future 1st round lock Ronnie Stanley) and with Boudreaux on the inside along with Eichenberg and Kraemer on the outside I don't see Notre Dame having much problems creating a push for years to come.