SportsCrack Blog

Monday, June 18, 2018

ESPN's Stephen A. Smith displaying his game while hitting on female reporter

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I'm not a big Stephen A. Smith fan.  In fact I tend to mute him whenever he comes on TV.  But I gotta give the guy a hand here.  He's 100% committed to landing this interview.  And I'm not talking about looking good on TV.  Who can really blame him?  She's a certifiable smokeshow.  Play on playa.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

The new Irish Shamrock 33: Gazelle T-shirt

If you have seen #33 run you know he runs like a Gazelle.  On pace for nearly 2000 yards rushing, we felt it was time to give him the SportsCrack Shamrock treatment.

 The new SHAKE 'N BAKER t-shirt was inevitable after seeing moves like this...

...and reached epic college football proportions after Baker Mayfield's brilliant performance in Columbus to slay the Buckeyes and plant the flag right into their "O"...

Now the back-to-back Heisman finalist is looking to shake 'n baker his team back to the playoffs and get the Sooners their first Natty since 2000.  With Baker's flair on the field and off it we wouldn't be surprised to see Oklahoma making a trip to Atlanta in January.  Just don't try to outrun the Fayetteville cops Baker.

Shake 'N Baker The Touchdown Maker Shirt

Monday, August 28, 2017

ESPN Suspends Ryen Russillo After Naked, Drunk Arrest

Michigan Reveals All-Maize Uniforms vs Florida and they are HIDEOUS

Holy West Virginia-wannabe's Batman!  I don't know what they have been drinking up in Ann Arbor lately but they need help and need to check themselves into uniform rehab immediately.

This all-maize look is just painful to these college football loving eyes.  While I'm not a Michigan fan by any stretch of the words I've always kind of liked their uniforms.  The helmet is classic and the "maize and blue" uniforms look good when the dominant color is blue.  But this all-maize jersey and pants make me want to puke.  It's bad enough they sold their "blue blood" souls and I use that term real loosely since they have one split National Title in the last 70 years when last year they put a fucking basketball logo on a football uniform but now they gotta go and make it painful to even look at them.  What in the Harbaugh is going on up there in Ann Arbor?  It looks like they had to put dark visors on the helmets to tone down the awfulness of seeing ones self in these uniforms.
Come on Michigan you are better than this.  Stop whoring yourself out to the Nikes and Jordan's of the world and show same damn self respect you disgusting filthy pig.
Ann Arbor is a Whore T-Shirt

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Sam Querrey's Model Girlfriend Abby Dixon Talks About His Wimbledon Victory over Andy Murray

For the 97.9% of you who have no clue who Sam Querrey is I will inform you he is the American who beat #1 seed Andy Murray in the Wimbledon quarterfinals today.  Querrey becomes the first American since Andy Roddick 8 years ago to reach the Wimbledon final four.  But we are not here to talk about Sam.  We are here to talk about his girlfriend of 2-years model Abby Dixon.  The 29-year old Dixon is a fashion model who travels around the world while keeping her boyfriend company aka pipes clean.  She's got that traditional 80's fashion model look which means she's tall, skinny and loves to powder her nose with the booger sugar.  The last part I completely made up or did I?  You be the judge.

Anyways let's take a look at Abby Dixon's Instagram pictures...

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A post shared by Abby Dixon (@abbykdixon) on

A post shared by Abby Dixon (@abbykdixon) on

A post shared by Abby Dixon (@abbykdixon) on

What's the over/under on amount of time before that pizza came back up? Not trying to be an asshole but you don't get that model skinny by eating pizza. Maybe she sprinkled some coke on it.

The 2017 MLB Midseason Awards

The All-Star break is upon us which means A) nothing is going on, B) the ESPY's are still not worth watching, and C) time to hand out some baseball midseason awards.  As you can tell by headline photo it's basically the hand shit to Aaron Judge awards before he smashes you 500 ft.  We will oblige the mighty cyborg.

AL MVP - Aaron Judge, Yankees
No way anybody can argue this choice.  Judge has put up insane first half numbers in his rookie season (leads AL in OBP, slugging percentage, HR, OPS and highlights) and just became the unofficial official face of baseball after putting on an epic showing at the HR Derby.  It's doubtful he will keep up his pace in the 2nd half so guys like Mike Trout (coming off injury) and the 3 Astros (Springer, Altuve, Correa) all have a chance to gain some ground.  But right now it's Judge's to lose.

NL MVP - Paul Goldschmidt, DBacks
This was a more difficult pick than the AL because there are a ton of great candidates.  Goldy is my pick because he leads the league in WAR and has the DBacks firmly in the Wild Card lead.  But you could make an argument for players like Joey Votto, Justin Turner, Nolan Arenado, Bryce Harper, etc. all having big 1st halves.

AL CY YOUNG - Chris Sale, Red Sox
Sale is the perfect pitcher for the Red Sox and their rabid fanbase.  He embraces the spot light, in fact he welcomes it, and has already become a team leader in the clubhouse in just his first season at Fenway Park.  11-4 with a 2.74 ERA and 0.90 WHIP earned Sale the start in the All-Star game.  He's basically the new Randy Johnson.  Royals Jason Vargas also deserves recognition after coming back from Tommy John surgery and leads the league in wins with 12 and ERA at 2.62.  It's doubtful Vargas will keep up the pace as the journeyman's arm is due to wear down.

NL CY YOUNG - Max Scherzer, Nationals
 Old shady two eyes gets the nod over Clayton Kershaw because although their numbers are similar I'm handing the ball in a do-or-die game to Scherzer because I know I will get maximum intensity and effort from someone who lives for the big spot.  Scherzer is a maniac who also might be a cyborg like Judge.

AL ROOKIE OF THE YEAR - Aaron Judge, Yankees
The best player in the league right now is brace yourself also the best rookie in the league.  The only guy who could potentially pass him up with a monster 2nd half is Baltimore's Trey "Boom Boom" Mancini and honestly everybody else is contending for runner up at this point.

NL ROOKIE OF THE YEAR - Cody Bellinger, Dodgers
10 home runs in 10 games will earn you some recognition.  Bellinger has taken his late call up as a challenge and already mashed 25 HRS, driven in 58 runs, and posted a .619 slugging percentage in only 70 games.

The Astros are the best team in baseball right now with a young nucleus led by Hinch.  They are 16.5 games up in the division and on pace to win 109 games.

NL MANAGER OF THE YEAR - Dave Roberts, Dodgers
The Dodgers play in the most difficult division in the NL but are on pace to win 110 games.  That's insane.  They also have a young nucleus like the Astros who should contend for years to come.

Atlanta Falcons New Stadium has AWESOME Concession Prices

Not sure what the catch is but these prices for concessions at the new Mercedes-Benz Stadium are right up my alley.  Maybe it's a "hey we are sorry we blew a 25-point lead in the 3rd quarter of the biggest game of our lives and we know you still aren't over it and probably never will but hey here is some really cheap dogs, fries and cold Bud Light."  Well shit fire it works for me.  I'm all over the $3 pizza slice but it takes a brave, brave man to ever try the nachos with "cheese."  I'm pretty sure that "cheese" is just liquid cancer.

Jessica Simpson Still Has Her Fastball, Celebrates her 37th Birthday at the Pool

I've always had a soft spot, or hard for that matter, for one Jessica Simpson.  It was 12 years ago she was rocking the Daisy Dukes in near perfection on that god awful "Dukes of Hazzard" remake that she forever gained VIP access in my heart and I'm not even into blondes.  

In case anybody forgot what she looked like during her prime here's a friendly reminder.

Well fast forward to yesterday she celebrated her 37th with a big old butt perched up on a float as a giant homage to all her fans.  Yes even after all the kids, marriage, pills, and booze she still has her fastball.  She's gone from slim and trim to extra meaty to hello 37 hot milf status.  And that my folks deserves a golf clap.  You gotta learn to appreciate the Gods when they walk among us mere mortals.

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A post shared by Jessica Simpson (@jessicasimpson) on

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Conor McGregor Wore a Custom Pinstripe Suit that said "Fuck You" At His Press Conference

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Conor McGregor, the little cocky Irish mick, brought his A game in trash talking to his Floyd Mayweather fight press conference today.  Not only did he win the battle of the mouths at the mic with Pretty Boy he also clearly won the wardrobe style with this classic pinstripes suit with the not so subtle "Fuck You" written all over it.  McGregor may be little in stature but he's got the balls of a heavyweight champion.  I would still be surprised if he lasted more than 4 rounds vs Mayweather.  For entertainment purposes I hope I'm wrong.

Watch Every Aaron Judge 500 Foot Home Runs in the 2017 Home Run Derby

To say New York Yankees rookie/cyborg Aaron Judge put on a show last night would be an understatement.  Not only did Judge have jaws dropping but he actually had fans and ESPN's Jessica Mendoza dropping their pants from on-air snail trails.

Judge is not from this planet.  Nobody that big (6'7 280 lbs) should be hitting baseballs.  It's just not fair and I was actually nervous he might kill one of those kids in the outfield with a line drive to the head.  He's the new Terminator and yesterday just proved his first half of 30 HRs is no fluke.  It looked like he was going to get kicked out in the first round as Marlins Justin Bour hit an amazing 22 HRs.  No biggie for Judge who came up and just peppered 450 foot shots with ease including 4 500 foot plus long balls to advance.

After that it was obvious to everybody it was Judge's HR Derby.  This felt like the dunk contest when Michael Jordan and Dominique Wilkins were battling it out in the mid 80's.  It had this electricity that you don't see often in baseball.  If anybody is going to bring back kid's interest in America's past time it should be Judge.  He's a freak that is must watch TV.  I don't even like the Yankees but I find myself turning to their games on MLBTV just to see if Judge is hitting.  He's the Paul Bunyan/mythical figure who was built in a lab to crush the stitches off of every baseball he faces.

And I don't care if you don't like baseball it's fun as hell to watch someone that big hit it that far with little effort.  It's must watch TV.

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Friday, June 23, 2017

Domers Vs Dawgs Shirts Now For Sale!

September 9th can get here soon enough.  Georgia will be traveling to historic Notre Dame stadium for the first time in program history to face the Fighting Irish.  In fact it's only the 2nd time these two programs have ever faced each other.  The first was way back in 1980 in the Sugar Bowl when Georgia led by legendary tailback Herschel Walker held on for the win and the National Title.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Conor McGregor Trains in front of him knocking out Floyd Mayweather Mural

 Conor McGregor posted this Floyd Mayweather knockout picture on his Instagram with the caption "I'm a filthy Irish animal."  You gotta love the confidence of McGregor going into his first boxing fight with a guy in Mayweather who has never been knocked down much less lost a fight.  The 28-year-old Fighting Irishman is a massive Vegas underdog and for good reason: it's a boxing match, not a MMA event.  Can McGregor get close enough to Pretty Boy to even land his left hand hook?  I'm not sure.  Mayweather is the king of not taking a punishing blow.  He bobs and weaves like a rabbit being chased by a cheetah.  But if anyone can deliver a devastating KO punch it's McGregor.

Notorious vs Pretty Boy Fight T-Shirt