Monday, January 18, 2010
I was bored last night and was up late watching Taboo on the NatGeo Channel and they were talking about drugs and prostitution being two of the most socially untolerated topics in our world. I'm sorry but they ain't got nothing on Monique's legs. Those things howl at the night waiting to eat their young. The guy with her has to be fucked up in the head. It's one thing to be a chubby chaser but the Wolverine legs are just completely frowned upon...
I'm going to go brush my teeth now and bathe in some vinegar while I cry myself to passing out for posting these pictures.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 11:45 AM
Since it is Martin Luther King Day I figured it was sort of appropriate to show you how a certain coach who wears Gator's colors can present "I have a dream" pitch to stud defensive tackles. From GamecockCentral.com Blog comes this interesting story of Florida head coach Urban Meyer pulling the old religion/God card on Philly DT Shariff Floyd right before Floyd was set to pick Ohio State and instead went with the Gators:
“Sharrif was really confused and put a call into Coach Meyer. When they spoke Coach Meyer told him that he had a ‘dream’ the night before, and that Coach Meyer saw himself on the sideline coaching Sharrif. Told him that is was a "message from God that I should come back and coach, as I guess if it’s my time to die, I'd rather die on the sidelines coaching you than anywhere else in the world.
"Sharrif talked to us the next day and said Ohio State is great and all, but Coach Meyer said he would DIE for me. That's pretty intense. From that day on Sharrif mainly kept to himself. But that was the turning point in my eyes."
Now that is how you recruit 5 star players to your school folks. A couple of years ago I probably would have been pissed off after reading this but you know what, I think Urban actually believes the shit he spews. I can't be mad at him for it because I would hope my favorite coach (Brian Kelly) would pull out the "hey, we have Jesus Christ praying on our library you will come to Notre Dame Shariff!" tactic because if it fucking works then well...it fucking works. High school kids are stupid anyways. I used to drop acid back in the day and think I could sing Pink Floyd songs better than Roger Waters or David Gilmour. The prison guards clearly thought otherwise.
So yeah, Urban Meyer talks to God seems perfectly reasonable to a high school kid. Why do you think so many of those idiots join FCA? Probably the free donuts. Ahhh...donuts!
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 11:17 AM