A-ROIDS CHANT "YOU DO STEROIDS"

BRAVO RED SOX FANS, BRAVO! I want to see all my Atlanta Braves buddies loading up on the A-Roids shirt when the Yankees come to town on June 23rd. In fact, I would love to see the Ted filled with this shirt or the Yankees Suck shirt. Southerners are known for their politeness, let's debunk that myth with a little humor...


Video HT: Peter

MANNY DIDN'T RAPE OR KILL ANYBODY

According to Manny Ramirez as quoted in the LA Times, MLB officials should just get off his puss filled back about his steroid suspension and let him show up and practice with the rest of the team...

"I didn't kill nobody, I didn't rape nobody, so that's it," Ramirez said. "I'm just going to come and play the game."

Wait a second, Manny has double negatives which turns into a positive right? Sorry, it's been a while since I took grammar. So is he saying he did kill somebody and did rape somebody? I'm confused. He does swing a mean stick.

SCOUT'S HONOR

The MLB Draft is wrapping up today and after 50 rounds we pretty much will know nothing about how good a team drafted till at least 5 years down the road. But of course that doesn't stop ESPN's Keith Law in claiming the Red Sox were the big winners in the draft. Seriously, how do you keep up with all 50 of their picks and decide they were the big winner against 30 other teams picking 50 or more players? The MLB Draft is a lot about luck as much as it is about scouting. Guys who could pitch or hit in high school and college might not be able to adjust to playing baseball every day for a living.

As a fan of baseball I for the most part have to go by what scouts say in terms of talent evaluation because a lot of the players I haven't seen in person. There are way too many players out there to keep up with 10% of them so I always find it funny that experts like Keith Law can tell you who the winners and losers of the MLB Draft are before the thing is even over. What makes me laugh even more is Law is basing a lot of his judgements on what scouts tell him. Which makes me wonder if the scouts are being honest or just blowing smoke up his ass about certain prospects because they "discovered" them. Who knows but I did find this quote from an anonymous scout regarding the Nate McLouth trade to Atlanta very interesting if not borderline hysterical in Jayson Stark's latest Rumblings and Grumblings:

• Pitt Stop: We've heard mixed reviews around baseball on the package the Pirates got back for Nate McLouth. But one scout who has seen a lot of all three players thinks all three could be stars.

"I really like [left-hander Jeff] Locke," he said. "To me, he has a chance to be Jon Lester. And if [right-hander Charlie] Morton just throws strike one, he'll win 15-16 games a year, if not more. And one thing no one can dispute is that [outfielder] Gorkys Hernandez has five tools. Those tools still need a lot of work. But he can be a top-of-the-order guy who can give you power and produce runs. And he can run and throw and play some kind of center field. So to me, that was a deal where both teams got what they wanted and needed."

I've seen all three of those kids play and had a chance to look at their stats in the minor leagues. Locke "has a chance to be Jon Lester" is one of the funniest things I have read in a while. Sure he could be Lester. If only he had his stuff and his arm. Other than both throw lefty they don't have a lot in common. Locke had a ERA north of 5 in A ball as a 22 year old but yeah, he has a chance to be just like Lester. Lester by the way as a 21 year old was posting ERA's in the 2's at AA and AAA. But yeah, Locke could be just like Lester if he gets cancer perhaps.

I'm not even going to argue the Charlie Morton winning 15-16 games in the majors. Morton blows. He walked as many guys as he struck out last year in Atlanta. It's not like he is 21 years old and just had a bad run. The guy is 25 years old. He should be able to show something in the majors but he hasn't. But yeah, if he throws strike one he will magically start winning 15-16 games in the majors if the Pirates magically score 8-10 runs in every one of his starts.

And Gorkys Hernandez has "5 tools." One of them must be a vibrator for this scout because I don't see any power in Gorkys' game. In over 250 plate appearances this year Gorkys has yet to hit a home run in AA ball. Throughout his minor league career he has nearly 1500 plate appearances and has a total of 14 home runs. Yeah, the guy is bristling with power. And with drug testing as prevalent as it is now it's not like Gorkys is just going to suddenly develop power once he reaches the majors.

So this is just one instance where scout's honor is full of shit. Sure, one of those players the Braves traded to the Pirates could become a star. Not likely but they could. Looking at their minor league numbers doesn't suggest stars in the making but what do I know, I'm not a scout.

ROLLER GIRL STILL HAS IT

Okay, her name is Heather Graham, but if you ever saw Boogie Nights she will always be known to penises around the world as "Roller Girl." Here are some pictures of the actress at the England premiere of The Hangover...

JOE MONTANA'S SON SPURNS NOTRE DAME

Nick Montana, a four star high school quarterback who just happens to be Joe Montana's youngest son, has turned down offers from Notre Dame, Georgia, and Ohio State to go play for...get this...hold laughter till I complete the sentence...the University of Washington. Yes, the same Huskies school that went 0-12 last season. Okay, now you can release the shits and giggles.

Nick apparently fell in love with new head coach Steve Sarkisian. Take a look at this zinger:

"He's an awesome coach," Montana said, according to the report. "You just have to look at all the guys he's put into the pros."

I guess Charlie Weis, Mark Richt, and Jim Tressel are shit stains compared to the holy throne of Sarkisian. Sarkisian was instrumental in the development of Matt Leinart and Mark Sanchez while an assistant at USC but I would hardly point him out for the one pro who has actually accomplished anything in the NFL in Carson Palmer. I think Norm Chow was more of an influence on Palmer's career. But let's be honest here, the young Montana picked Washington because of playing time. The Oaks Christian HS rising senior (same school as Jimmy Clausen) wasn't going to steal time from Clausen and Dayne Crist at ND, Aaron Murray and Joe Cox at UGA, and most certainly not Terrelle Pryor at Ohio State. So he picked Washington so he could do his own thing in beautiful Seattle and not be under the shadow of his father at Notre Dame, not face the rigorous SEC competition in Athens, and not be Tressel's clipboard assistant in Columbus.

It's understandable. Some fans of Notre Dame are freaking out. A few of them. Actually not many. Nick is a good prospect but not a 5 star standout like Clausen and Crist. I'm not saying he couldn't eventually develop into a star like his father did at Notre Dame. He has the genes and the skills to be a really good college player. But could you imagine going to a school where everybody will be comparing your every step to what your father did? It's unnecessary pressure and I can see why this Montana decided to skip out on Notre Dame (his brother Nate is a walk-on at ND). Notre Dame fans need not worry about losing this Montana. Sure it would have been a great story but the coaches need to focus on getting at least one quarterback in this class since they didn't sign anybody last year.

The kid they need to sign is Ohio product Andrew Hendrix. And no, he isn't Jimi's son. Hendrix is 6'3 and built like a college quarterback. He has a ton of upside and has offers as impressive as Montana. Weis needs to get him to verbal sooner than later. Hendrix visited Notre Dame last week and almost verbally committed on the spot. A lot of the top recruits are waiting to see what Notre Dame brings to the table in 2009 before committing to a school with only 10 combined wins in the last two years. They should. But landing Hendrix would enhance their recruiting ten fold. They would start picking up receivers and Hendrix could actively recruit other guys much like the #1 prospect Chris Martin has been doing ever since he verballed.

DANNY DEVITO IS MY NEW HERO

It's 9 AM on a weekday in Philadelphia and the Penguin Danny Devito is slamming beers, making midget jokes, and trying to score some strange. I have a new found respect for the little guy. You can't blame him for trying. I can only imagine the stories that Devito has working in Hollywood for over 30 years. If he can become a movie "star" and score tons of ass then you...yes...you the reader...put that away, it's inappropriate, have no excuse not to get off your ass and become something. Devito was the Terminator's twin at one point! Dreams can come true. Now quit your 9-to-5 job and go make me proud!

HT: WWTDD

CRAIGSLIST

I've been thinking about putting some stuff on Craigslist lately. No, not selling my body or anything like that. I'm not that desperate...yet. I've been doing some brainstorming, thinking of clever ways to pitch my junk so it sounds like gold on Craigslist. As you probably know it's all about how you sell it or market it. But I think when all else fails and you don't feel like dealing with people you should put out a classified like this guy did in Richmond...(click on the image to enlarge it)...



I think you get the idea of what he is selling and how he wants to go about the transaction. No bullshitting, just fork over the money and take the cement blocks. With that being said I'm going to copy this guy's approach. Anybody know what I can fetch for Pete Carroll's dead hookers?

Craigslist HT: Joe