I've been having writer's block all fucking day, actually all week, and have been trying to think of something to write about worth a shit. So I start writing about college football recruiting because I figured it would be somewhat interesting with it less than two weeks away and everybody on the messageboards freaking out about where teenagers are going to be spending their next 3-5 years in college. Unfortunately the article went to shit because I hear two massive cleaning trucks causing a Haiti in my neighborhood. I look outside and figured the county finally stepped up to the plate and decided to clean our roads of all the leaves and debris left over from fall. Shit if I was wrong. Instead there is dog shit, literally, flung all over the streets and driveways. Awesome! Nothing like going outside to step into some recycled shit. It's like a retarded monkey by the name of Dick Ebersol ran around the neighborhood and decided to fling his pooh around and see what sticks. So I guess I should start a telethon or something for my neighborhood. Haiti doesn't have anything on us. Doesn't anybody know how I can contact Bono? I'm sure he could come up with a catchy tune about "The shit stained streets of Courtland Oaks Drive!" At least I'm not trying to sell the SportsCrack mansion any more. Property values just went to shit again.
(I thought you would enjoy the picture of soft serve more than actual pooh)