Thursday, September 08, 2011

Saints Vs. Packers Preview

The NFL is back with the last two Super Bowl winners squaring off in what could be a NFC Championship preview. Both teams have beefed up their running game since last season and will look to run the ball with more authority this season. Packers got Ryan Grant back and the Saints drafted Mark Ingram. I expect both to have good games tonight.

In terms of the quarterback play you have two of the best in the game. Drew Brees and Aaron Rodgers will put a ton of points on the scoreboard. Neither one of the defenses they are going against tonight impress me so I expect over 600 yards passing combined. I expect a shootout so it will probably be a low scoring game because my NFL picks never pan out.

I also like the homefield advantage for the Packers. The defending champs will be playing on their home turf while getting their rings against a team who is used to playing in the SuperDome. The crowd alone should gives them a touchdown advantage in my book.

Call your bookie and bet on the Packers to cover the -4 tonight against the Saints. I also like the OVER at 48.5 points. Prediction: Green Bay 31 New Orleans 23

Brian Kelly's Pre Game Speech Versus Michigan Will Be Just Like This

Brian Kelly should never....I repeat NEVER....apologize for yelling and cursing at his team. Did you guys not fucking see how poorly they were playing? Notre Dame literally Bucknered the 1st half against an inferior South Florida squad. Now all week I've been reading and listening to a bunch of pussies bitch and moan saying Kelly is being too tough on his players. Blah Blah they are kids. What the fuck ever! Players like Dayne Crist, Theo Riddick, and TJ Jones are lucky to be alive after that craptacular performance. If you saw how cherry Kelly's face was well then imagine mine in the first half.

This is football people. We are not watching golf or tennis. It's about passion and focus and the drive to beat the shit out of the other team. And apparently Kelly needs to apologize for it? Bull shit. This week Notre Dame is going to fuck Michigan in their sister's cunt because Kelly doesn't put up with garbage. He's too good for it and Notre Dame is way better than that whore up in Ann Arbor.

In conclusion I've almost fully recovered from losing my best friend last week and am ready to move on. Notre Dame and Brian Kelly can help alleviate my recovery by going out and dominating Michigan in THE BIG HOUSE. I expect it and demand it. Go Irish!

By the way last week's Curb Your Enthusiasm Mister Softee was the best episode ever. Thank you Larry David for making tears of laughter come out of this sad asshole.

Arizona at Oklahoma State Pick

Last year these two teams met for the first time in the Alamo Bowl and it wasn't pretty. Oklahoma State dominated Arizona on their way to a 36-10 pasting in what was anticipated as a much closer game than reality presented. The Cowboys last week beat the living piss out of Lafayette 61-34 while Arizona struggled in the first half against Northern Arizona before winning 41-10.

Arizona has a big armed QB in Nick Foles who last week threw for 412 yards and five touchdowns. He is a legit NFL prospect and will definitely put some points on the board against a suspect Cowboy's defense in Stillwater. Problem is his #1 threat in Juron Criner is out of this game for undisclosed reasons. So Foles is going to have to rely on others to step up in hostile territory. Yeah I'm not counting on that either.

Oklahoma State also has a NFL prospect at QB in Brandon Weeden. Weeden will be throwing to the best receiver in the game in Justin Blackmon. The Cowboys have one of the best offensive lines in the nation and should have their way with a suspect Zona front 4. This game on paper looks like a total mismatch.

Now the line is currently at -14 in favor of the home team. It should be more. Oklahoma State is looking to make a statement on Thursday night (even though most of the nation will be tuned in to NBC) on ESPN. The statement is they are not only a top 10 team but possible a top 5 for the voters to consider. Prediction: Oklahoma State 55 Arizona 28

I think the Cowboys easily cover the 14 at home and I also like the OVER of 66.

Vinnie Verno Week 2 College Football Picks

Vinnie Verno makes picks and you make money. Remember that. Except for last week he was 2-3. What the fuck was up with that Vinnie? Sandbagging asshole. Anywho I got confidence Vinnie rebounds and goes 4-1 this week. It just seems right. Plus you shouldn't bet the 1st week unless you like losing money and/or have a gambling addiction and like smoking cock.

By the way if you want more Chris Vernon go listen to his sports talk radio show in Memphis. You will laugh. Probably cry. And masturbate to his picks. It's the circle of life. Or circle jerk. I don't know I get easily confused these days.

Just a disclaimer these are not my own personal picks. I'll have those up later today with tonight's big games.

Ben & Jerry's Introduces Schweddy Balls Ice Cream...Seriously

"Vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum and is loaded with fudge covered rum balls and milk chocolate malt balls." Man, I can't wait to get my mouth around those awesome balls. balls. I have little doubt this will be Ben & Jerry's new #1 seller. The name just sells itself.

So Yeah Peyton Manning's Career is Pretty Much Done

This is the time that all football fans dread. Their franchise quarterback is the leader and the face of the team and when he can't play the whole fan base is in mourning. Right now for all intended purposes Peyton Manning's career is over. Take a deep breath Colts fans. The next 10-15 years are probably going to suck balls.

Colts owner Jim Irsay tweeted this nut kicker this morning: ""NFL Season opens 2nite!We had a good practice yesterday and r guys r fired up 4 the season.#18's out for awhile,but compete,we will/BELIEVE"

Without #18 the Colts are going to be garbage. Manning has played in 208 consecutive games and has been the only starting quarterback for the Colts the past 13 years. Before Manning they had Jim Harbaugh and honestly I don't even recall much of it because they sucked back then. With a healthy Manning the Colts are a lock to make the playoffs. They haven't missed it in a decade. Without him they will be lucky to win 6 games with that watering hole they call a veteran QB in Kerry Collins.

It's going to be ugly. It's going to be sad. And if you are a Colts fan it's never going to be like it was before. Sure Manning could have a miraculous comeback but does he really want to come back from neck surgery to repair a nerve? Manning has his Super Bowl ring. He has his respect and is widely considered a top 5 NFL QB of all-time. He has plenty of money in the bank. He has nothing to prove to the game or his fans. At this point it's all about his health and if the doctors are saying another hit could essentially cripple you for the rest of your life then there is no reason to take another snap.

I like Peyton Manning. He seems like a good guy and is capable of making fun of himself. But at this time in his life he has a family he should be concerned about rather than his fans. In my opinion we have seen the last of #18 in Indianapolis and there is no shame in that.