Friday, January 16, 2009

KOBE BRYANT HAS HUGE TESTICLES


The Lakers still lost just like that girl in Colorado.

THIS COMMERCIAL IS NOT APPROVED FOR THE SUPER BOWL


If you listen to the Howard Stern Show you should know all about AshleyMadison.com. It's a website designed to help adulterers meet other adulterers. Good family fun right? Well, not according to the NFL who not only rejected the commercial for the Super Bowl in two weeks but also said it could never air one during any of their NFL broadcasts.

It's great to know the NFL has their moral compass pointed in the right direction. That is until Michael Vick starts taking snaps in Oakland.

HERO OF THE YEAR


His name is Chesley Sullenberger and he was the pilot of US Airlines Flight 1549 who safely landed his plane into the Hudson River in New York after some crazy suicidal birds flew into the engines. The former US Air Force fighter pilot from California with over 40 years of flight experience goes by the name of "Sully" but in my book this guy should be named Hero and given a statue as big as the Statue of Liberty after saving all those people on board.

Sully, if you read this please note that I am flying out to Las Vegas next weekend and I would be honored to have you captain the flight. Actually I would be honored and thankful if you would captain every single flight for the rest of your life or mine.

Anyway, kudos to Sully and I'm serious about honoring this guy in New York. If you are going to honor douchebags cheaters like Danny Almonte and Jeffrey Maier you sure as hell better give this hero some recognition.



I will do a toast to you tonight Sully. This Newcastle is to you.

PETE CARROLL IS A WHINY BITCH


Obviously Pete Carroll is pissed at QB Mark Sanchez for leaving to pursue his dream of playing in the NFL because he knows with Sanchez next season they have a great shot at going undefeated. But why the crybaby routine Petey? Sanchez fulfilled his commitment to USC and himself by staying for four years and completing his degree. Yes, he could have come back for a 5th season and taken dancing classes like Matt Leinart did but we all saw what the spotlight did to Leinart during that final season. Leinart was projected to be the #1 pick in the draft going to San Francisco but instead decided to Fight On or as Reggie Bush would say Cheat On for one more season. He fell to the #10 pick and lost millions in the process.

Pete Carroll needs to show some class and congratulate Mark Sanchez for all that he has done for the program. Don't be a selfish prick and state that you didn't agree with his decision. Instead thank him for putting up with all the dead hookers you made him shove back under your desk during his freshman orientation. Sanchez made the right decision in my opinion and it's not because I'm a Notre Dame fan. Look at the quarterbacks coming out this year. Besides Matthew Stafford (If you want to see class look at the way Mark Richt handled Stafford and Knowshon leaving last week) there really isn't a quarterback coming out in this draft with top 10 potential. Sanchez does not have a lot of starts in his back pocket and so Stafford does have the upper hand in that department but NFL scouts tend to forget those things as soon as the combine starts. Sanchez could wow a lot of the NFL personnel especially a team as dumb as the Detroit Lions into taking him #1 overall. Next year he would have been competing with Sam Bradford, Colt McCoy, Tim Tebow, Zac Robinson and some other juniors such as a Jimmy Clausen for the #1 QB spot. Sure he could have beat them all out and been the #1 pick but he could also suffer a terrible injury and/or been overly scrutinized like Leinart and Brady Quinn were and drop in the draft.

The key to the draft is going in while you are hot. Sanchez had his best game of his career in destroying Penn State for four TDs in the Rose Bowl. Could you imagine if Mack Brown would have thrown a hissy fit over Vince Young deciding to leave instead of not coming back for his 5th season? The media, fans, and incoming recruits would have torn him up. But somehow Carroll will get a pass for this shit just like the whole Reggie Bush fiasco. The NCAA and the media will continue to lick and massage the filthy Trojans and Pete Carroll until their mouths are tainted cardinal and gold.

I won't be that person. Congratulations Mark Sanchez. You made the right decision for yourself.