ICHIRO ISN'T A KANSAS CITY FAN

I'm a huge baseball fan and yet I've never had the chance to watch the great Ichiro play in person. But that will change this season as the Mariners make a trip to Turner Field in June for a 3 game weekend set. I still have my fingers crossed of seeing a Bedard vs. Smoltz matchup or even a King Felix vs. Tim Hudson game. But anyways, the real point of going is to see Ichiro roam centerfield in sticky Hotlanta. The fucking guy can do it all and is the true definition of a "five tool player." That and the all you can eat and drink beer specials they have at Turner Field. I really can't wait to see how many beers I consume with my buds in order to justify paying $60 for beer and food. The all you can consume special might be the best deal in all of sports. Hell, in New York City $60 bucks gets you a dog, fries, a punch in the gut, people ignoring you as you wallow in pain and perhaps an eight ounce beer.

I hate to see what Ichiro thinks of Atlanta after playing in the robust humidity of June after watching this comment he made to Bob Costas about the lovely Kansas City...

"Hotter than two rats in a fucking wool sock." I really love Ichiro.

NICK MARKAKIS IS A HONEY BEAR

Okay, I will be the first to admit I have a serious man crush on Baltimore Orioles right fielder Nick Markakis because as we all know Cal Ripken isn't coming out of that dugout anymore. But I can't wait to see newly acquired Adam Jones batting in front of Nick the Stick in the future. The motto for Orioles baseball this year is "This is Birdland" when in fact it should be "This is what ten years too late of rebuilding can do for you." At least the Orioles finally have a plan now with new GM Andy MacPhail.

And yes, Markakis is a honey bear with big fucking paws who will kill Yankees, Red Sox, Blue Jays, and even Rays for years to come.

FRANK THOMAS PILLOW FIGHTS

The Big Hurt is a sure fire first ballot Hall of Famer and one of only a few guys who we suspect never took steroids or HGH(shit, if Thomas did roids he would have hit 70 plus HR's a year with his eye and swing). But I tell you what, you do not mess with the Big Hurt when it comes to pillow fighting.

When it comes to filming a pillow biting commercial I'm sure "pals" Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte will get first dibs.

ACC BASKETBALL CAN BE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH

Or make it Maryland Terps basketball for that matter. Not only did the Terrapins blow a big second half lead against the Virginia Tech Hokies at home, a game they desperately needed to win to secure a NCAA Tourney Berth, but they also forced Hokies guard Dorenzo Hudson into vomiting macaroni and Gatorade all over the free throw line.

The Sporting Blog managed to find the video. No truth to the rumor Hudson lost his lunch when hearing about Gary Williams graduation rate at Maryland which has been extremely putrid since 1997.

ST LOUIS CARDINAL FANS LOVE THE KIDS

Those St. Louis Cardinal fans sure are a classy bunch. As much ass-kissing and self-fellating the whole Cardinal nation wants to give itself every year by saying "We are the best baseball fans in the world" we counter it by offering up videos as the one above demonstrates that they are no better than New York or even Philly fans. In fact the only other difference between those fan bases besides the Midwestern accent is the enormous amounts of mullets and camouflage that is on display every home game in Busch Stadium. And since St. Louis is basically in the middle of the country with nothing else around it besides manure and a cool looking arch it has a tendency to attract all forms of rednecks from around the likes of Indiana, Kentucky, Iowa, and the mecca of Arkansas. Trust me, I've been to St. Louis and I do think it is a great baseball city. But like all cities with a loyal fan base you have the same jerk offs who cuss at kids because they got in the way of videotaping Albert Pujols.

Here are some pictures from JoeSportsfan.com of the lovely Cardinal fans...












Sorry, I tried to find some pictures of some hot St. Louis poon but understandably they don't attend baseball games in Busch Stadium with this collection of handsome lookers on display every home game. But at least they are a classy bunch up there.