Tuesday, April 22, 2008

SPURS TAKE 2-0 SERIES LEAD OVER SUNS


"Where Cheating Happens"...sounds like the slogan for Balco.

LARRY MUNSON AS THE VOICE OF GOD

I can already see all the Georgia fans nodding in agreement while picking their noses. Oh wait, I'm doing that right now, never mind.

Video HT: EDSBS

JAKE LONG SIGNS WITH DOLPHINS

There is the new face of your franchise Miami Dolphins fans. Jake Long may not be pretty in the face but the big boy sure can block when not facing Vernon Gholston and was awarded today with a huge bag of cold hard cash from Bill Parcells today to become the #1 pick in this upcoming NFL Draft. So now with the first piece down I figured we would take a look at the rest of the draft with my predictions on how it might shake out.

2. St. Louis Rams-Glen Dorsey is right up there with Darren McFadden as the most talented player in the draft. His motor never stops and he would be welcomed with open arms in St. Louis who has whiffed as an organization on D-lineman in the past. Dorsey will be a stud if he can stay healthy.

3. Atlanta Falcons-Begrudgingly I think the Falcons are going to take Matt Ryan. Yes, the same guy who is as accurate as Michael Vick was in college but without the ability to run the ball but on the other hand the ability to throw a lot more interceptions. The Falcons should draft a linemen with this pick such as Sedrick Ellis or Chris Long, or trade it for more picks, and then draft one of Brian Brohm or Joe Flacco in the second round. But that would mean they are an intelligently run franchise and if you follow NFL history the Falcons clearly have never been associated with anything intelluctual. Matt Ryan benefits from it with a huge signing bonus. The Falcons still blow.

4. Oakland Raiders-Darren McFadden or Chris Long, who would you take? Long, the son of Hall of Famer Howie, would seem like the perfect fit in Oakland. McFadden with his questionable background also seems like the perfect fit for an Al Davis team. McFadden would be my pick because he is going to have the same impact as Adrian Peterson did last season. But I would also make sure he didn't kill any dogs before draft day.

5. Kansas City Chiefs-Chris Long, duh! He will replace the traded Jared Allen. I like Long a lot but I'm not convinced he will be an impact player right away in the NFL.

6. New York Jets-Vernon Gholston. And yes, the Jets fans will boo but they shouldn't. Gholston, when he decides to go full speed is an extremely dangerous pass rusher who could rack up Dwight Freeney type numbers in the NFL.

7. New England Patriots-More than likely the Patriots will try to trade out of this spot because A)they can get more picks and B)they don't want to give a huge signing bonus to a rookie. They need a LB but at this spot Keith Rivers and Dan Connor would be reaches, so I'm going to say Aqib Talib at CB.

8. Baltimore Ravens-I would absolutely love to see McFadden slip to the Ravens but I don't see it happening. The Ravens will take Sedrick Ellis at DT. Ellis could be better than Dorsey in the pros. Don't laugh, the kid is a beast who dominated for the most part in his USC career and was the most impressive lineman at the NFL Combine.

9. Cincy Bengals-The Bengals want Ellis really bad. Unfortunately unless they make a trade with the Patriots or Ravens they can't get him. Hell, the Falcons could take Ellis for all we know. You would think they have to draft somebody with questionable off-field behavior. Somebody who gets DUI's and scuffles with the Po-Po. Nobody from Penn State is graded this high though so you can't there. Mario Manningham seems like a good fit to replace Chad Johnson if they trade him and he has been kicked in and out of the Michigan football program numerous of times. But he projects to late first round/early 2nd. They will take USC LB Keith Rivers if he is available. And no, I don't think Rivers is going to be an All-Pro by any means but he will be a solid LB.

10. New Orleans Saints-Rashard Mendenhall to replace Reggie Bush. Kidding of course. Jonathan Stewart maybe? Just joking. They need cornerbacks so I will go with South Florida's Mike Jenkins.

11. Buffalo Bills-The Bills are really high on Oklahoma's Malcolm Kelly as am I. I think Kelly will be a really good NFL player and a great pick for the Bills.

12. Denver Broncos-The need a left tackle and Boise State's Ryan Clady is a pretty good one.

13. Carolina Panthers-The avoid the sexy pick by taking a guard in Virginia's Branden Albert.

14. Chicago Bears-They really need to get Sexy Rexy the fuck out of Chicago by drafting a QB. Instead they will draft an offensive lineman, a man named Jeff Otah out of Pittsburgh to play left tackle.

15. Detroit Lions-A WR of course! I got them taking a linebacker in Derrick Harvey out of Florida. A safe bet for sure, Harvey was a really good collegiate player who could develop at either OLB or DE.

16. Arizona Cardinals-Leodis McElvin out of Troy could become the shutdown corner Antrel Rolle was suppose to become.

17. Minnesota Vikings-Calais Campbell out of Miami is a freak of a defensive end who has the athletic ability to dominate in the NFL. But does he have the heart? The Vikings will find out by either drafting him or Phillip Merling.

18. Houston Texans-Rashard Mendenhall seems like a good fit for the Texans at RB. I also like Jonathan Stewart out of Oregon. Really can't go wrong with either, but I will go with Mendenhall.

19. Philadelphia Eagles-Desean Jackson seems like the perfect playmaker for Donovan McNabb to throw touchdowns at and to return kicks. Jackson has Devin Hester written all over him except he is a way better receiver.

20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers-They need a cornerback so that Rogers-Cromartie guy makes sense here. And no, I have never seem him play.

21. Washington Redskins-They want to trade this pick to the Bengals for Chad Johnson but if they don't they will take Phillip Merling out of Clemson to play defensive end.

22. Dallas Cowboys-I would take Jonathan Stewart but since Jerry Jones loves the Razorbacks it looks like Felix Jones will be the pick.

23. Pittsburgh Steelers-Jonathan Stewart is finally off the board. When healthy Stewart can do it all and should become a fan favorite in Steel Town.

24. Tennessee Titans-They need receivers for Vince Young. I'm not a fan of Limas Sweed but I can see them taking him to team up the old Longhorn teammates.

25. Seattle Seahawks-They need a d-tackle. I love Trevor Laws out of Notre Dame but I think he will still be an early second round pick. Kentwan Balmer out of North Carolina will more than likely be the pick.

26. Jacksonville Jaguars-They need linemen especially on the D side of the ball. Fuck it, I say they make a "stretch" pick by taking Laws out of Notre Dame.

27. San Diego Chargers-They need safety help and the only one worth it at this pick is Kenny Phillips out of Miami. They also could take a RB to replace Michael Turner in the second round.

28. Dallas Cowboys-Will anybody be surprised if the Cowboys trade both of their first round picks to somebody like Atlanta to get McFadden? I won't and I hope it happens for the sake of the Falcons franchise. If not they take James Hardy out of Indiana. A former basketball player on the Hoosiers, Hardy could become a dominant red zone presence in Dallas.

29. San Francisco Giants-Gosder Cherilus seems like the perfect pick out of Boston College. He could step in right away and play right tackle.

30. Green Bay Packers-They need a tight end. Martellus Bennett out of Texas A&M is the best one in my opinion in this draft and should be going to Green Bay.

31. New York Giants-Dan Connor out of Penn State should replace departed Kawika Mitchell. A no brainer in my mind, Connor could become another Keith Brooking.

SMOLTZIE GOING FOR 3000 K

When Atlanta Braves ace John Smoltz takes the mound tonight against the Washington Nationals he will be looking to join the exclusive 3000 career strikeout club that only 15 other pitchers can claim membership. Needing just 4 K's tonight to reach the milestone, Smoltz pretty much will stamp himself a one-way ticket to Cooperstown once he reaches 3000(the only one not in the Hall with 3000 career K's is Bert Blyleven).

In fact did you know the 3000 K club is more elusive over a career than 300 victories(23), 500 homeruns(23), and 3000 hits(27)? Smoltz is one of the most underrated power pitchers of his era. Maybe he was cast in the shadow of Greg Maddux and Tom Glavine for all those years but if you had a choice for a guy to be your starter for a pivotal game series clincher who would you want? I would take Smoltz without blinking an eye.

His post season pitching record is 15-4 with a 2.70 ERA. Smoltzie split-finger fastball and slider made him a great closer for 3 seasons(NL record 144 saves during that period) and yet he was still able to come back and pitch over 200 innings and record double digit victories while keeping an ERA in the low to mid 3's each season in his late 30's.

In layman's turn: Smoltzie is a beast.

Smoltz is also a great teammate who decided to stick with the Atlanta Braves organization when so many others left for more money(Tom Glavine for example). I know it sounds like a cliche but not many players play for one organization their whole career. The fact that Smoltz sacrificed his spot in the rotation to become a closer for the good of the team shows how great of a teammate he was. Of course Smoltz always knew he was a starter but never complained openly to the media and kept it behind close doors when he knew he should be back in the rotation. The Braves handled it with class and so did Smoltz when so many players and organizations are so quick to cut ties when things don't go right.

Smoltzie recorded his first K by smoking a high fastball past Darryl Strawberry 20 years ago at Atlanta Fulton County Stadium. Tonight I will stand and applaud him as he reaches another milestone in his Hall of Fame career against the Nationals at Turner Field. When he fools another hitter for his 3000th K I expect the crowd to roar and give him a standing ovation. The Commissioner Bud Selig should stumble up the mound with presumably a horrible speech and a handshake. Bobby Cox should pat him on his bald head and tell him one more time: "Good job Kid!"

John Andrew Smoltz affectionately known by teammates as Smoltzie, the future Hall of Famer, has earned and deserves it.

JESSICA SIMPSON TAKES IT FROM A SMURF



The pictures above clearly show Jessica Simpson has been cheating on Tony Romo with a freaking Smurf. I wonder which one she banged? Maybe she hit up the whole crew. You know it's only a matter of time before she gets some of the Terrell Owen's action on after seeing his guest appearance on BangBros. When asked about the secret vacation Owens and Jessica took together, Owens did not take it too well...



Pictures courtesy of D Magazine

MARV ALBERT CRANKS THAT SOULJA BOY


Those guys at TNT are pretty creative. Personally I would have made it a little more embarrassing for Albert. Put him in some chaps. Whip him with a leather belt. Maybe put a ball gag in his mouth and have a donkey lick peanut butter off of him. Oh yeah...nevermind.

Video HT: AwfulAnnouncing