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Thursday, September 16, 2010
I hate redneck humor but this shit is pretty funny. The guy absolutely nails the impersonation of Lou Holtz. I wish Rick and Bubba would shut up so I can hear it better but it is what it is. ESPN needs to get this guy in studio right away. Play a little game on the real Holtz. Sit the fake Holtz next to Mark May and do one of those back and forth arguments and see how the real lisper reacts to it. Or you can get the fake Holtz and put him in Erin Andrews dressing room with a hand held camera and see what happens. Laughs and violence surely would ensue.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 10:33 AM
I'm not going to hate on Derek Jeter too much. Sure he is a pussy for faking a hit by pitch last night in a crucial game against the Tampa Bay Rays and taking first base when he damn well knew he shouldn't have but the guy nails Minka Kelly on a regular basis.
Actually scratch that. I fucking hate Derek Jeter. The guy must be Captain Clutch if he can slide in safely with her every night.
In case you were wondering Jeter did score after Curtis Granderson hit a homerun in the next at-bat. Too bad the Rays came back to win and take sole possession of first place in the AL East. Since the Orioles have been out of it since 1998 and the Braves are having their usual September shutdown and more than likely will miss the playoffs in Bobby's last season I will be rooting for the Rays to win it all this postseason. Gotta root for the little guys who play great fundamental baseball and rely on pitchers who don't make $15 million plus a year like the Yankees starting rotation.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 9:54 AM
Because there is no way he lands his fiance Samantha Sarcinella without a lot of green in his pocket. You be the judge...
Apparently this Busch guy is a very successful Nascar driver which means he goes really fast and doesn't take right turns. He also knows how to wine and dine a female. Their first date was at a TGI Fridays. Very romantic for a Nascar driver I may say. I take it Chili's had a 15 minute wait.
Oh yeah, she's melting right in his pocket. Better have a prenup buddy.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 9:36 AM
You can't make up shit like this Georgia fans. Oh wait, yes you can.
COLUMBIA—The Humane Society of Georgia today released a statement in reaction to the news that Marcus Lattimore, Running Back of the University of South Carolina Gamecocks, is being investigated for alleged animal abuse.
Yesterday, a search warrant was issued for a property owned by Lattimore, in Columbia,SC. According to reports, law enforcement authorities discovered dawgs in a state of apparent confusion, anger, and pain. The Georgia Animal Abuse Taskforce was on the scene. Officers discovered up to 80 dawgs, several with wounds believed to be from cock fighting, according to sources. Authorities allege that on at least 37 different occasions, Lattimore has engaged in beating and torturing dawgs, including multiple instances of running over, and even dragging dawgs behind him as he runs.
"The Humane Society of Georgia has heard troubling reports for some time that Lattimore has been involved in organized dawg beating, and we fear that this investigation may validate that very disturbing allegation," said Wayne Pacelle, president and CEO of The Humane Society of Georgia. "We urge law enforcement to aggressively investigate this matter, and we further believe that anyone who continuously beats dawgs deserves to be fully prosecuted for their crimes. Dawg beating is a barbaric activity that causes immense player, coach, and fan suffering and fosters sorrow in our Georgia communities. We urge any concerned citizens to go to GamecockCentral.com for more information.“
If WR A.J. Green doesn't win his appeal tomorrow then we could be looking at more Dawg abuse by the hand of a Mallett this Saturday. The Georgia offense is putrid without him. Georgia is currently dead last in rushing in the SEC after two games. No Green=no chance in the SEC East. All because he sold his fucking jersey. What a joke.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 8:49 AM