ESPN's Draft dipshit Todd McShay released his latest NFL Draft 2011 mock draft yesterday and surprisingly he didn't have Jake Locker going #1. I say surprisingly because McShay had Locker's cock firmly in grip within the back of his throat for the past two seasons. I guess now he has seen what most of college football already knew: Locker is more average than great. Here is a look at his first round with some random thoughts from me.
1. Carolina Panthers
Da'Quan Bowers, DE, Clemson*
My take: Makes sense with none of the quarterbacks this year being close to sure things. Bowers is a Julius Peppers clone and should start right away.
2. Denver Broncos
Nick Fairley, DT, Auburn*
My take: Fairley is either going to be a great NFL player or a complete bust. He came out of nowhere to dominate last season. The Broncos need help in the trenches so the pick makes sense but I don't think anybody should expect Fairley to be the next Suh.
3. Buffalo Bills
Von Miller, OLB, Texas AM
My take: This makes perfect sense for the Bills. Draft a late first round guy like Miller at the #3 overall slot. Fucking Canadians.
4. Cincinnati Bengals
A.J. Green, WR, Georgia*
My take: Green is the best wide receiver to come out since Calvin Johnson. With Carson Palmer gone though they might take Blaine Gabbert here.
5. Arizona Cardinals
Blaine Gabbert, QB, Missouri
My take: I don't really see the fascination with Gabbert but what the fuck do I know. The Cardinals desperately need a QB and Gabbert appears to be the clear front runner in a rather pedestrian QB class.
6. Cleveland Browns
Marcell Dareus, DT, Alabama*
My take: I think Dareus is going to be a good pro. I could see him making the Pro Bowl a few times.
7. San Francisco 49ers
Patrick Peterson, CB, LSU*
My take: If Peterson lasts this long I would be shocked. He might be the best talent in this draft regardless of position. This pick would be similar to when they got Patrick Willis or the Ravens got Ray Lewis. There is no reason they should drop out of the top 5 and Peterson is one of those guys.
8. Tennessee Titans
Prince Amukamara, CB, Nebraska
My take: Personally I think Prince is overrated. I've seen him get torched too many times in college to not think he will be anything special in the NFL.
9. Dallas Cowboys
J.J. Watt, DE, Wisconsin*
My take: Watt is good but I would rather have Ryan Kerrigan. Rumors are floating the Cowboys might trade Dez Bryant so don't be shocked if they move up or down from this spot.
10. Washington Redskins
Cam Newton, QB, Auburn*
My take: Like Fairley I think Cam is either going to be a stud or a bust. If I'm the Redskins I'm willing to take the chance here on Cam. You might catch lightning in a bottle.
11. Houston Texans
Jimmy Smith, CB, Colorado
My take: Who?
12. Minnesota Vikings
Robert Quinn, DE, North Carolina*
My take: I love this pick. I think Quinn would be great working on the opposite side of Jared Allen.
13. Detroit Lions
Nate Solder, OT, Colorado
My take: How does Colorado have two first round guys yet still suck balls? It might be a good idea to protect Stafford.
14. St. Louis Rams
Julio Jones, WR, Alabama*
My take: Wide receivers drafted in the first round have the greatest bust ratio. Julio could keep that tradition going but he is worth the risk for the Rams since their receivers are terrible.
15. Miami Dolphins
Mark Ingram, RB, Alabama*
My take: Ingram is a solid back but don't the Dolphins already have Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams?
16. Jacksonville Jaguars
Adrian Clayborn, DE, Iowa
My take: Had a disappointing senior season but has the potential to be a star in the NFL.
17. New England Patriots (from Oakland)
Cameron Jordan, DE, California
My take: I think the Patriots go RB here especially if Mark Ingram is available.
18. San Diego Chargers
Aldon Smith, DE/OLB, Missouri*
My take: Not really familiar with Smith so I can't say much.
19. New York Giants
Tyron Smith, OT, USC*
My take: Giants need offensive line help so this pick makes sense.
20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Ryan Kerrigan, DE, Purdue*
My take: Besides Peterson this might be the steal of the draft. Kerrigan is a top 10 player in my opinion.
21. Kansas City Chiefs
Akeem Ayers, OLB, UCLA*
My take: Ayers is a very good player and was the lone bright spot on UCLA last season. I like this pick.
22. Indianapolis Colts
Anthony Castonzo, OT, Boston College
My take: Big guy who didn't impress when I saw him live.
23. Philadelphia Eagles
Gabe Carimi, OT, Wisconsin
My take: Meh.
24. New Orleans Saints
Justin Houston, OLB, Georgia*
My take: A lot of potential here in Houston for the Saints. Personally I would like to see him dip to the Falcons.
25. Seattle Seahawks
Jake Locker, QB, Washington
My take: Pete Carroll can't be this stupid? Right? Anyone?
26. Baltimore Ravens
Randall Cobb, WR, Kentucky*
My take: I like Cobb but I think if they take a receiver they go local and take Torrey Smith out of Maryland. Cobb is a bigger play guy though. With that being said the Ravens will probably draft a defensive player.
27. Atlanta Falcons
Mike Pouncey, C/G, Florida
My take: If he is as good as his twin I have no problem with this pick. The Falcons need defensive help though so I would love to see them get somebody for the front 7 here.
28. New England Patriots
Dan Watkins, G, Baylor
My take: No fucking clue.
29. Chicago Bears
Corey Liuget, DT, Illinois*
My take: Great pick. Liuget is going to be a good one for the Bears.
30. New York Jets
Phil Taylor, NT, Baylor
My take: I don't see the Jets taking Taylor this high.
31. Pittsburgh Steelers
Benjamin Ijalana, OT, Villanova
My take: Never seen him play.
32. Green Bay Packers
Muhammad Wilkerson, DE, Temple*
My take: Same as above.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Isn't it comforting to know while you sit and pick your nose at your shitty fucking job the Giant's Pat Burrell is out banging skanks? While many of us are planning on what kind of flowers and dinner we need to line up for Valentine's Day just so we can hopefully get some action that night Burrell is running fucking trains while wearing a gimp outfit with hotties left and right. The jealousy scale just shattered after seeing these pics over at BarStoolSports. This is probably just another boring Monday for Burrell. In case you were wondering Barry Zito is taking the pictures in between bong shots and blow jobs. It's a tough life ya know.
Images via BarStoolSports
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 12:54 PM
I guess the FCC doesn't want you to know how the Aluminum can was conceived. I'm a little disappointed this wasn't shown. What exactly is wrong with can and bottle sex? Is the FCC trying to tell us it only promotes can on can or bottle on bottle sex?
What a bunch of conservative a-holes!
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 12:18 PM
This is straight up bukkake if I have ever fucking seen bukkake right here. Two of the NFL's biggest stars in Ray Lewis and Drew Bress just blowing their Pepsi Max over everybody. It's gross and I can't believe a major corporation like Pepsi and the NFL would allow shit like this. No wonder they can't come to terms on a collective bargaining agreement. They are too busy blowing their shit all over the face of the league to realize it. Now go sit in timeout NFL and get back to us when you are ready to behave yourself.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 12:03 PM
You may recognize Tila Tequila from all of her reality shows and the new porn she stars in with two other lovely ladies. The other guest, Jennifer Aniston, I'm not so sure what she is about. I think she might have played Elaine on Seinfeld. You might want to Wikipedia her.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 11:56 AM
Frathouse Sports has broken the story of college basketball's player of the year Jimmer Fredette has himself a girlfriend. Yeah shocker right? Her name is Whitney Wonnacott (seriously that is her last name) and she is a BYU cheerleader. It's crazy to think the star basketball player would be dating the hot cheerleader because I mean that kind of shit never happens. Honestly I could careless about who Jimmer Fredette is dating. If the guy doesn't make in the NBA I'm sure he could do just fine with the ladies. Hell the guy has an acting career ahead of him. Don't tell me he couldn't land the lead role in "Social Network 2."
You can check out more pictures of Jimmer and Whitney at Frathouse Sports if you are into checking out that kind of shit.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 11:42 AM
For all intended purposes Villanova should have won at Rutgers last night. Watch the last two minutes of the game and you tell me how in the holy hell did Rutgers pull this out?
For some of the gamblers out there who had Nova on the moneyline last night you got royally fucked. I'm one of them. There is no fucking way you can blow a 5 point lead with less than 12 seconds left on the clock without there being some kind of fix in. Now whether it was set up by the Nova players or the referees I can't definitively answer. It could be both. First off Nova starts turning over the ball. A lot. Second off how was the last second three-pointer a foul? Did he fart on him or something because the Nova defender sure as hell didn't touch him. I've looked at the replay about 10 times and I can't see any contact. This makes me think the men in stripes had money on Rutgers. The line was -8 in favor of Nova so it couldn't have meant the refs had dough on the line. But if you had money on the moneyline for Rutgers to straight out win it paid over 7-to-1. Yep. The refs wanted Rutgers to win. This game has Tim Donaghy shit stains all over it.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 11:18 AM
Tiger is still out there just nestling up with 17-year-olds in their bed like it's no big deal. The guy is a fucking animal. Mark Sanchez has nothing on Tiger.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 10:07 AM
It's time to stop racism and start ricism. Go ahead and drop some beef in some pink tacos while making her sour cream....
Tequila taco night just gave me an epic boner. All those calories and beef and cheese. Fuck yeah! And Patron? Sign me the fuck up! These guys need a Food Network show pronto.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 8:58 AM
Did we do it again? Yes we did! Here is our newest creation which was sent in to us by Mark Menendez. We call it the "FredetteAboutIt 32" shirt. It's got the classic Godfather script on the front. We should have them in available early next week so order yours today before they are sold out.
FredetteAboutIt 32 Shirt for sale
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 8:44 AM
Whoever thought that must be crazy. Take the latest example of a player winning an arbitration hearing. Ross Ohlendorf had a spectacular 1 win and 11 loss season, yet won an arbitration hearing against the Pirates to get a raise from $439k to $2.025 million. That's just comical. What makes it more interesting is the Ohlendorf sports a career 4.40 ERA with 13 wins compared to 25 losses. I'm not sure what kind of person Ohlendorf is and he may be a saint, but when does that type of resume support an annual salary of $2.025 million?
It's not like the Pirates aren't hurting as a franchise as is. I have a wonderful idea, someone take "Big Ben's salary and give it to the Pirates to help build a team and bring some sort of winning back to the Pirates. Pittsburgh is in desperate need of some good news right now and this has to feel like someone is throwing knives at the Pirates as they are spinning on a wheel like a cheap carnival act. I understand taking care of players, but receiving over a $1 million for a 1 win season is ludicrous. Maybe I should head up the arbitration committee and the NCAA hearings process.
Thanks to ESPN and the AP for reporting this craziness!
Posted by McPeters at 6:24 AM