YOU WILL BE MISSED KEN GRIFFEY JR

Ken Griffey Jr. announced today that he has retired. "The Kid" is now 40 years old which makes me feel old. He had the sweetest swing in the game and I believe is the greatest player of my generation. He never got his World Series ring but he did finish his career with 630 home runs which is 4th on the all-time list (Hank Aaron, Babe Ruth, and Willie Mays count; Bonds doesn't) and he played the game hard for most of his career before injuries started to plague him.

He ran into walls. He wore his hat backwards. He swung effortlessly. He smiled and enjoyed playing the game better than anybody. He had the most famous baseball card of the past 60 years. His swing was emulated by kids who wanted to be him. He's a first ballot Hall of Famer and without a doubt a living legend. A bronze statue needs to go up immediately in Seattle.

You will be missed Kid. See you in Cooperstown in 5 years.

ARMANDO GALARRAGA GOT HIS PERFECT GAME STOLEN BY HANDLE BAR MUSTACHE GUY

This should have been the 21st perfect game in Major League history and yet it all got taken away as handle bar mustache guy stole it from Armando Galarraga. Even if the runner ties there you call him out. I'm literally shaking as I type this. I can't believe the umpire just stole a perfect game by making one of the shittiest calls ever.

This further proves that umpires aren't people. They are heartless pricks with bad facial hair. And they go by the name of Jim Joyce. I would be shocked if he makes it out of Detroit alive. It would be on par with a girl surviving a date with Joran van der Sloot. Odds are you're dead.

By the way Don Denkinger says "Thank you!"