Just before an American wrestler takes on a Russian opponent, his coach warns him to avoid the Russky’s unbeatable “pretzel” move.
The match starts, and the Russian quickly gets the American doubled over in the pretzel. The coach can’t bear to watch…then he looks up to see his wrestler pinning the Russian.
“How’d you do it?” the coach asks after the match.
“I saw this pair of balls in front of my face,” the wrestler replies. “So I just bit them.” “It worked!” the coach exclaims.
“No,” says the wrestler. “But it’s amazing how strong you get when your testicles get bitten.”
Baton Rouge, LA
Sunday, September 09, 2007
MIKE HART GUARANTEES WIN OVER NOTRE DAME
Despite Michigan losing two games in embarrassing fashion the first two weeks and the loss of senior QB Chad Henne to injury, RB Mike Hart guaranteed a victory next week against Notre Dame in the Big House. You can watch the press conference here.
Now I will be the first to admit that Notre Dame has played like horse shit...wait, not just horse shit but elephant shit because the shit they have shown on Saturdays has been so enormously huge it could fill the Big House on Saturday. But would anybody really be able to tell the difference between the smell of elephant shit and the normal smell of Ann Arbor? I didn't think so. Anyways, I don't think it was very smart on Hart's part to guarantee anything after Michigan losses to an I-AA team and an average Oregon team. If Notre Dame can't sack up for this game after two blowout losses themselves and the bulletin board, hell, video board-worthy Hart guarantee then I think we need to stop calling coach Charlie Weis a genius at anything.
It's called motivation and it can help teams like Applachian State pull off inprobable victories. It's time for both Notre Dame and Michigan to play to the level they are capable of which isn't elephant shit but the sweet smell of roses...
Time for Notre Dame and Michigan to stop playing like pooh-pooh.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 3:13 PM
ANN ARBOR IS A WHORE
Where is the psychotic blabbering spitter we all have come to love and name Lou Holtz? Oh yeah, here he is giving self motivation advice to Michigan. (Warning: May become confused and disorientated upon watching)
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 2:41 PM