Wednesday, September 21, 2011

McDonald's Monopoly Commercial Making Fun Of Lebron James And His Ability To Not Win Championships

They should have had Dirk in there rejecting his scratch off or a velvet rope into the booth with Dirk and Lebron's mom making out inside it. That would have been perfect.


Just one huge clusterfuck of a situation and if you don't look both ways you are going to get killed. This is what needs to happen:

-PAC 12 needs to take their thumbs out of their asses brah and add Texas, Oklahoma, Oklahoma State and Texas Tech. Make it a 16 team superconference and be done with it.

-The SEC needs to add Missouri and West Virginia. Supposedly the SEC conference is mad at Missouri because they leaked to the Kansas City Star that they would be added to the most POWERFUL conference in the entire universe. Listen SEC Conference. Shut the fuck up and stop acting all high and mighty and let Missouri in. They are the Show Me State after all. Home of meth addicts and sewage rivers. They fit in perfectly. The SEC also doesn't think West Virginia is a prestigious enough academic school to be added to their Ivy League conference. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Half of the football players in the SEC can't fucking spell their names correctly or tell you who their father is. But yeah, West Virginia would totally demean the conference.

-Notre Dame needs to decide if they are going to go to the Big Ten or the ACC. They are in Big Ten territory but everybody associated with Notre Dame hates that fucking conference. So stop with the independence and go to the ACC. ND can dominate recruiting in Florida all the way up to Boston if they want. They can keep the NBC contract. They will get more money. And the team will be playing for something (a conference championship) after they once again blow a last second game to Michigan for the billionth year in a row.

-The Big East and Big 12 can combine with what remains of their shit. Syracuse and Pitt already got the fuck out of the Big East.

Let Kansas, K State, Baylor, Iowa State, South Florida, Cincy, Louisville, Rutgers, and Connecticut stay while adding TCU, Boise State, Navy, Army, East Carolina, and whoever else gets kicked out of another conference and form Conference Big North America. They can play their championship game on PBS. Perfect.

-Then you let whoever wins the conference championships of the SEC, PAC 16, ACC, and Conference Big North America play a Final Four. Keep all of the pointless bowl games and have all the teams who finished with 6 wins or more play in those games. You got your playoff scenario and you keep the bowls so all the dirty politicians, sponsors, and bowl representatives can get their money too.

-By the way I would just like to point out the Final Four of Football would have better ratings and make more money than the Super Bowl and March Madness. And you can still fuck over the slaves...I mean student-athletes.

-You are welcome. Problem solved. You are now free to look at internet porn. Again.