USC NAMES THE FRESHMAN STARTING QB

When I was young I knew everything, now I'm Pete Carroll guilt stricken sobbing with my head on the floor because I named Matt Barkley starting QB...I can't be held responsible...Barkley was touching my thigh...I won't be held responsible...we were merely freshmen....


USC was so innocent. F them is what I say....

MICHAEL VICK DEBUTS TONIGHT

IMAGE HT: WithLeather

Hide your Beagle people, Vick's an Eagle officially starting tonight against the Jacksonville Jaguars on the NFL Network. So basically a million people have the opportunity to watch it from their home. Fucking NFL Network and their exclusive deal with DirecTV. Don't they realize that satellite tv sucks balls or is just about the money? Oh yeah, it's always about the money. Anywho, I will have to go to Taco Mac tonight to see the Doggie Killer make his debut wearing something other than black and white stripes or an orange jumpsuit. Vick has served his time and deserves a second chance. Actually this is more like his 10th chance because he lied so many times before hand about having any involvement but that is besides the point.

I want to see Vick play. I want to see him roll out of the pocket and hold that pigskin like it's got Ron Mexico's clamidia on the laces. I want to see him get hit and fumble. I want to see him break a run for 30 yards when most other players would have only got 10 yards. I want to see him overthrow a receiver by 5 yards or miss a guy on the slant or fire it too hard. Most of all I want to see how people react to him when he is introduced for the first time. I expect a scattering of boo's and cheers. And pound puppies on the field.


HIDE YOUR BEAGLES VICK'S AN EAGLE SHIRT AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE HERE!

16 DAYS TILL THE BALLS DROP

This has to be LSUFreek's best work over at EDSBS. Very disturbing yet highly funny. My sides actually hurt right now and those are not remnants of Vegas destruction in my ribs.

NOW THIS LOOKS ENTERTAINING

Zombieland could get 1 star and be as Gawdawful as that Peter Jackson remake of King Kong and I still won't give a shit, I have to see this movie. It feels like it has a Tarantino flavor to it and anytime you have Woody Harelson playing a redneck then it's all good in my book.

I'm interested in hearing what the peanut gallery has to say. Would you go see Zombieland after watching this preview or would you rather go see some gay ass Harry Potter coming of age movie? Seriously, if you like Harry Potter and are over the age of 15 please just kill yourself now. The world would be a lot less gayer with you in it.

HAPPY ENDING?

20 bucks, and it better be quick! Great job Fox Sports! I still have no desire to watch soccer but this commercial made me laugh.

Video HT: Extra Mustard

SHAQ IN A SPEEDO

The clip above comes from Shaq VS which is apparently some show on ABC. I have no fucking clue because I don't watch network television unless there is sports on it. HBO and Showtime shows occupy my time most nights if I decide to watch something else besides the baseball game right now. Anyways, Shaq lost a bet to the beach volleyball group of Misty May and Kerri Whateverhername so he had to walk down the beach in a pink speedo. I think it fits the big man. I was pleasantly surprised not to see some damn elephant snake slipping out of the side. That would have been almost as uncomfortable as seeing Misty May's ballsack in slow motion. Seriously, Misty is a pre-op tranny right?

Video HT: Extra Mustard