ARIZONA STATE APPLICANTS JUST WENT UP

If I were a high school senior I would be tearing up that application to Harvard or Notre Dame or whatever bullshit school that doesn't have Undie Run. Would you rather go to some place that is cold and full of fat people or do you want to party with future strippers/Tiger Woods mistresses?

Uh huh...that is what I thought. God Bless ASU.

Video HT: BarstoolSports

TIGER WOODS WITHDRAWS BECAUSE OF A BULGING DICK

HAHA...Awesome.

This is what Tiger needs to do to get his shit back. Get a divorce first. Give Elin everything you got. Start from scratch.

Second thing he needs to do is to start banging whores again. We know you aren't a Saint Tiger. Or even a Fake Phil. Embrace the dark side and run with it.

Third thing is he needs to hire me as his caddy. I'll take 5% or less. I could be your ultimate wingman. Call me.

BRIAN CUSHING CHEATED....NO WAY!

Houston Texans linebacker Brian Cushing was suspended for the first four games in 2010 due to a test he took last September, league sources told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter.

Cushing appealed the test in February and lost -- and was suspended this month by the NFL. It is unclear when he was informed that he failed the test.

Cushing was named The Associated Press' Defensive Rookie of the Year and went to the Pro Bowl in 2009.

Cushing was hounded by rumors of performance-enhancing drug use before he became a pro, but the Texans were undeterred. They said then they found no truth to those rumors in their draft preparations.

Former USC linebacker Cushing has long been rumored to be on the juice. If you just look at the picture above with a reasonable eye you can tell he was pumping his shit with mass quantities while at USC. And in case you are wondering the pictures are not photoshopped. The one on the left is him during his freshman season with the milktits. The one on the right is him after roiding. Pretty much cut and dry.

Of course he never got busted in college because he went to USC and the NCAA treats them with kid gloves. Or O.J's. Whatever seems to fit at the time. I reached out to Cushing to get his side of the story. Let's just say he was still pumped up about getting a place at the table...



Cheat On Trojans! Cheat On!

WILL YOU JUST FIRE THIS GUY ALREADY

On Friday the Braves managed to hit rock bottom in terms of hitting by managing 2 fucking hits all game against some dinosaur named Jamie Moyer. Without the J-Hey Kid in the lineup the Braves are a collection of neanderthals aka Zane Smiths out there. They can't hit worth a shit. At all. Check out these stats.

Team Batting Average: .232 (27th of 30)
Runs Scored: 121 (25th of 30)
Home Runs: 18 (27th of 30)
RBIs: 114 (25th of 30)
Slugging Percentage: .337 (28th of 30)

They have been sitting in timeout for the last 5 years with Terry Pendleton as their hitting coach and it continues to get worse. Bobby Cox or Frank Wren don't have the balls to fire him because somehow they think their hitters will either come around or it's not entirely TP's fault. I can hear the laughter now. It's a collection of Kelly Johnson, Adam Laroche, and Andruw Jones cracking up with the mere thought of TP as the hitting coach. I loved Pendleton as a player but I really can't stand him as a "coach."

There is some thought among sportswriters in Atlanta that the only reason why Pendleton hasn't been fired is because he will be Cox's replacement next year. Fuck. It's on par with FSU naming Jimbo Fisher as successor to another Bobby, Bowden. It's going to get bad. Real bad. Just fire TP now. The season can still be saved.

FACE OF THE NBA

You can have all your talk about Kobe or Lebron or even Dwight being the face of the NBA but I don't want to hear it. When it comes to Canadian white point guards none of those fools can match up with the Sun's Steve Nash. Look at that face. It's the face of an angel. On acid.

In honor of Nash leading the Suns to a sweep of the San Antonio Spurs I demand all SportsCrack heads out there to Netflix the outrageous Canadian movie "Trailer Park Boys-Countdown to Liquor Day." If you haven't seen these guys in action you are seriously missing out. Bubbles is my hero. Here is a little sneak peak of the film that never made it to American theaters because we are too fucking stupid to handle Canadian redneck humor...


Image HT: Extra Mustard