SportsCrack Blog

Monday, May 10, 2010


On Friday the Braves managed to hit rock bottom in terms of hitting by managing 2 fucking hits all game against some dinosaur named Jamie Moyer. Without the J-Hey Kid in the lineup the Braves are a collection of neanderthals aka Zane Smiths out there. They can't hit worth a shit. At all. Check out these stats.

Team Batting Average: .232 (27th of 30)
Runs Scored: 121 (25th of 30)
Home Runs: 18 (27th of 30)
RBIs: 114 (25th of 30)
Slugging Percentage: .337 (28th of 30)

They have been sitting in timeout for the last 5 years with Terry Pendleton as their hitting coach and it continues to get worse. Bobby Cox or Frank Wren don't have the balls to fire him because somehow they think their hitters will either come around or it's not entirely TP's fault. I can hear the laughter now. It's a collection of Kelly Johnson, Adam Laroche, and Andruw Jones cracking up with the mere thought of TP as the hitting coach. I loved Pendleton as a player but I really can't stand him as a "coach."

There is some thought among sportswriters in Atlanta that the only reason why Pendleton hasn't been fired is because he will be Cox's replacement next year. Fuck. It's on par with FSU naming Jimbo Fisher as successor to another Bobby, Bowden. It's going to get bad. Real bad. Just fire TP now. The season can still be saved.


Christopher said...

So....Who are the nominees?

Matt Fairchild ( said...

Lloyd McClendon of the Detroit Tigers would be my first pick. I'm not sure how long his contract is with them but the guy has manager experience and has Detroit near the top in most hitting categories.

Cheese-Whistle Mcstink said...

No shit! I'm starting to really regret buying the baseball package through Comcrap, I mean Comcast.

Matt Fairchild ( said...

The MLB package has been terrible so far. The signal keeps fucking up and my teams always lose. It's obviously Bud Selig's fault.