Thursday, September 06, 2007

COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS AND NOTES
-In case anybody was wondering where the Sportscrack Top 25 vote is don't bother looking because it won't be up till after the third week of the season. I'm taking the stance you can't rank teams till after 3 weeks of play because honestly the first 2 games are like preseason contests (even more reason why there should be a playoff). As much as I would love to rank USC the clear #1 team right now because of all the talent they possess, it is unfair to other teams such as West Virginia, LSU, Florida, etc. to rank them ahead of other good teams when they have only played Idaho. After September 15th we will get a better feel of who the best teams and players will be this season.

-Watching Louisville try to play defense is about as painful as watching your new single buddy trying to hit on women after a long relationship that just ended in a restraining order. The Cardinals will score a ton of points all season thanks to an explosive offense led by senior QB Brian Brohm,
but until they can learn how to keep the other teams from running up and down the field all day they will never be a serious title contender. BCS Title for those wondering.

-Please stop with the Booty 4 Heisman bullshit.

Let's think rationally before spitting out his name for consideration. He is no where near the talent of Carson Palmer, Matt Leinart, or Reggie Bush and the only reason why people consider him a serious candidate is because he is the QB for the Trojans. His two big performances came late last season against Notre Dame and Michigan. Those two defenses would have been shredded by anybody, hell Troy Smith did it last year and he can't catch a cold in the NFL.

JOEPA BASHING

Check out the complete list over at FireMarkMay.

I know for all intended purposes Penn State should crush Notre Dame in Beaver Valley, the home of urine soaked fat co-eds, but I really hope this is JoePa's last game because he can't stand to go down as the coach who actually lost to a Clausen.

Only then will we see "his tears are older than cancer."

THIS DAY IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL HISTORY

In his first collegiate game 27 years ago today, Herschel Walker runs right over Bill Bates en route to a 16-15 win for the Dawgs over the Volunteers. The Dawgs would win the National Championship that season in large if not all in part to the phenomenal freshman.

I still think Walker is the best player I have ever seen on film to play at the collegiate level. A man among boys, I got to meet Herschel a few years ago and got an autograph while chatting with him. He seemed very humble and thankful that so many people adore him for what he did on the football field during his legendary days in
Athens.

In honor of Herschel this weekend I will be up in Athens for the South Carolina game and my plan is to drink 34 Natty Lights...so in other words I will be blacking out hard and fast...

IF ONLY...
...I actually took golf lessons.

...I was half black and half Asian, otherwise called a Blasian.

...I had some incredible talent besides the ability to jerk off in less than ten seconds. (true)

...I went to Stanford and worked at my craft instead of tapping kegs and legs at the local State college.

...I had a father who groomed me to be the best in the world in something dominated by unathletic rich pricks who are more fake than a Phil Mickelson smile.

...I could be a nerd who is adored by women despite never having sex with one till meeting a gorgeous European nanny wife.

...I could get paid to drive around in a car that only mental patients and old senile people whom eat oatmeal three times a day drive.

...I could plan my finances around actual income and not expenses on booze, gambling, and strip clubs.

...I made a billion fucking dollars to play a game of getting a little white ball into a stupid hole other than my hot wife then I could have been...




Damn you Tiger!


RANDOM WEST VIRGINIA JOKE
A son comes home from college to West Virginia and tells his dad about a wonderful girl he’s met.

“Dad, she’s fantastic. She’s smart, in great shape, and she’s getting her teaching certificate this spring. I’m going to ask her to marry me, but…”

“But what, son?” asks the father.

“She’s a virgin.”

The father scratches his beard and says, “Son, if she ain’t good enough for her own family, she damn sure ain’t good enough for ours.”


Rupert Munson
Fort Worth, TX

ADAM SANDLER FOR MICHIGAN AD?

34-32 will never die.

THE NFL IS BACK
With college football already kicked off I failed to recognize the NFL was to do the same tonight. And luckily for us we get to see a potential Super Bowl match up with the New Orleans Saints visiting the Indianapolis Colts at the RCA Dome tonight. I wonder why ESPN isn't hyping this game up or the NFL kicking off?

Oh, right, because it is on NBC. ESPN isn't about hyping up games on other networks. They are all about 24 hour coverage of the Spelling BEE because they have the rights. Funny how that works.

I'm looking forward to watching Peyton Manning tonight. He finally got the proverbial monkey off his back last year while capturing his first ring. And the guy is just unbelievable with kids through his charity work with the United Way...

I'll kill a snitch.

WHAT IN THE HELL IS THIS?

You can not be serious, Booty 4 Heisman? I love the backside of the ladies myself, but there is no way in hell I'm voting for John David Booty to win the Heisman just because of some random pictures of ass.

Now you start putting pictures of Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba's fine rumps up there and we might start talking about the 7th best QB in the nation having a chance to win the Heisman. But I want some good pictures, like jealous ex-boyfriend type shit.

Oh yeah, if you want to visit the Booties-4-Booty Site click here.

And since we are talking about the Heisman here is my top 5 as of right now.
1. Desean Jackson
2. Colt Brennan
3. Pat White
4. Darren McFadden/Felix Jones-both of these scud missiles are deadly, you can't just give it to one.
5. Tashard Choice