BOB KNIGHT RECORDS 900TH WIN

Love him or hate him, Bob Knight became the first men's head coach in NCAA basketball to record 900 wins last night. It couldn't happen to a better fuckin' guy. God bless him.

DSRL COMMERCIAL

I love the theme music because it sounds like it's straight out of a 80's cartoon. I have to admit both of the Manning brothers are good at poking fun at themselves. So I'm not going to make fun of them for licking white cream while talking about double stuffing each other. That is just juvenile anyways and here at SportsCrack we don't believe in any sort of jokes at the expense of others just because they are different.

All though I was disturbed at first by the commercial it is starting to grow on me. I still like this Oreo's commercial better...

"Give it time Kevin! It will fill out. I know so."

PRESEASON HOT-TALK WITH DICK PEPPERFIELD

The Ballgirls! Hello Ladies! I had a pancake last night. Her name was Asia and I think she broke my hip last night. But all is fair in love and war I say. Or maybe somebody else said it. I don't know where I'm going with this but it seems like Will Ferrell is trying to do every single sports comedy possible. With Semi-Pro covering basketball coming out next month he now just has to tackle projects regarding baseball and football. If he wants to do football I think he should do a comedy about Reggie Bush while at USC. He could come up with a funny title like "Dirty Trojan" and play the part of unsuspecting Pete Carroll. He could play that goofy "unknowing" asshole to perfection.

THE ST. LOUIS CARDINALS ARE IDIOTS

According to STLTODAY.COM, the St. Louis Cardinals are so desperate for another drug cheater to sit with Rick Ankiel on the bench that they are thinking about inviting Juan Gonzalez to spring training camp.

Two-time MVP Juan Gonzalez is seeking another swing at a comeback after nearly three years since his last at-bat, and the Cardinals have discussed extending him an invitation to spring training.

Gonzalez, 38, has been working out at Eduardo Perez's Winter Training Program in Puerto Rico. The Cardinals, intrigued by descriptions of Gonzalez's workouts, are exploring the possibility of signing the former All-Star outfielder, but a source cautioned that no deal is completed.

I for some reason thought Gonzalez died a few years back to some cocaine overdose but I guess I was wrong. Sorry, I usually get cocaine overdose and career dying in Detroit mixed up for some reason. Seriously, wtf are the Cardinals thinking? Do they need a guy who was trained in the "Jose Canseco how to stick needles in dude's asses without breaking it" camp to assist with Ankiel and Albert Pujols. I know they just picked up Troy Glaus in a trade so he should have plenty of experience in performance-enhancing drugs but apparently the Cards want a whole roster full of cheaters. Maybe they could bring back Mark McGwire while they are at it or look into adding Roger Clemens to the pitching staff.

GREG PAULUS CARRIES ON THE DUKE TRADITION

I have a general hatred for Duke Basketball and some people may wonder why it is? It's because of shit like this. It started years ago with Christian Laettner and was passed on to Shane Battier and now apparently to Greg Paulus. The art of horrible acting to get fouls called in your direction. Coach K and his filthy whore mouth teaches the act to all of his players but these douchebags have perfected "the flop", "the crying", the "act like you have been punched" routine so much that they make Brendan Fraser look like an Academy Award thespian. Paulus is the little punk white guard who has little talent but is one of those hustle guys who mixes it up with the big boys so to speak. But what he does is talk shit and gets away with it because he is a little white guy. This is why I can't watch Duke Basketball. They tend to flop as often as Italian soccer...

I think it is time for the ACC conference to review plays such as the dive and the flop perfected by Paulus and suspend them for games for unsportsmanlike behavior. Or as I call it "general douchness."

Video HT: AwfulAnnouncing