NBA Player Jason Collins Is Gay And Can Still Bang With Shaq According To Obama

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Indecision Political Humor,The Daily Show on Facebook

In all seriousness congratulations to Jason Collins for coming out of the closet.  Not because he is a hero or anything but because of his timing we weren't succumbed to constant talk about some other closeted third-string quarterback in New York who was released the same day.  Thank you Jason Collins.

New Atlanta Falcons Stadium Looks Insane

I will be the first to admit I wasn't on board at all with building a new stadium for the Atlanta Falcons.  I've always thought the Georgia Dome was a great place to watch a football game especially when it gets cold in December and January.  Call me a pussy but the last thing I want to do is freeze my ass off while shaking uncontrollably while trying to enjoy a sip of a beer.

But now after seeing these designs I say fuck the 20-year-old Georgia Dome.  I want my impact rumble seats!  I want to know what it feels like to be Michael J. Fox watching a football game while drinking $15 beer to pay for the cost of the stadium.  Do they massage you as well?  They sure as hell better!

I also want a blimp above the new stadium so every time they open up the roof it looks like a giant asshole releasing a heavenly fart of NFL goodness.  I mean after all if we are going to ignore our horrible schools, roads, traffic and infrastructure in metro Atlanta for a shiny new stadium toy I want it to represent something bigger.  It just makes sense.  Right Tommy Boy?