BRETT FAVRE INJURED, OUT OF GAME
CLICK HERE FOR THE LATEST ALONG WITH A LIVE, FREE FEED OF THE GAME TONIGHT. It's a right elbow injury and Aaron Rodgers is in the game.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
TOMMY TUBERVILLE TO ARKANSAS
KNWA of Arkansas is reporting that current Auburn Head Coach Tommy Tuberville has agreed to take the Arkansas head coaching position replacing Houston Nutt.
Shit fire boys and gals, I must admit I am completely shocked by this move by Tuberville. It seems like a step down in my opinion. Must have been some major ass $$$ involved. I'm talking more money than they give Darren McFadden.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 6:09 PM
TAMPA RAYS BALLPARK PLANS
Apparently what ever architect drew up the plans for the new Tampa Bay Rays stadium has an affinity for acid and grew up a Montreal Expos fan. This monstrosity is inspired by sail boats (not kidding) and even includes a 320-foot-tall mast that would essentially cover the field when it rains. Think of it as thousands of feet of plastic wrap that will probably get blown away when the first hurricane comes through.
Or maybe they could use it to protect the players and fans from all the seagull shit that will surely rain down.
The initial "ballpark" estimate in cost is $700 million for the new Tropicana project. Not one single brick would be used for the stadium because officials down in Tampa want to shun the "retro" look of ballparks today and make something uniquely their own. Rrriiiggghhhttt!
You stay classy Tampa!
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 5:15 PM
SAY IT AIN'T SO GEORGIA TECH
The latest rumor around Bobby Dodd Stadium is Rick Neuheisel might be getting the offer for head coach. The AJC has the full report here about Raven's coach Brian Billick pushing Neuheisel onto the Yellow Jacket's hands.
First off, "Slick Rick" is a shady ass coach. He's used ineligible players and committed multiple NCAA rule infractions including feathering his hair with his vagina.
He would be a horrible, I repeat HORRIBLE hire for Georgia Tech. Currently he is the offensive coordinator for the Baltimore Ravens. Yep, he is one of the guys in charge of developing quarterbacks and putting together an offensive game plan. Last time I checked the Ravens couldn't score worth a shit or develop a quarterback. Sounds familiar doesn't it Tech fans?
Memo to Georgia Tech AD Dan Radakovich: contact Randy Edsall at Connecticut or Brian Kelly at Cincinnati and offer them the job. Better yet get down on your knees and blow. Trust me it works all the time!
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 3:11 PM
DAMN YOU LARUSSA
Well I was going to go to the local Taco Mac to watch the Cowboys-Packers game tonight and knock back a few cold ones since I can't watch it at home because the NFL is a greedy organization. But now after watching this video of Tony Larussa's DUI arrest I think I might stay in and get blitzed alone again! You are a dick Larussa.
The sad part of this arrest is it could have been handled differently if the Jupiter police department took into fact people from St. Louis don't know the alphabet. I must admit I was a little disappointed Larussa wasn't wearing his Peter Gammons-tinted midnight rapist glasses when arrested.
Now you wonder why the Cardinals were such a train wreck last season. Their stinking manager can't handle two glasses of wine, how is he suppose to handle a double switch and a future Mitchell report just waiting to reveal his superstar slugger as a drug enhancing user. And no, I'm not talking about Rick Ankiel.
HT: Withleather via FanHouse
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 2:20 PM
SEC POON UPDATE: GEORGIA BULLDOGS
Head on over to Poon of the SEC for their latest findings in Atlanta for the Georgia/Georgia Tech game. Of course I was down in Atlanta tailgating(in other words drinking) and it was easy to spot the UGA Poon. The whole school is dripping with hotties left and right.
On the other hand you have Georgia Tech. Umm, how do I put this politely? I'll let this video do the talking...
I think my dick just broke off watching it.
And no Georgia Fans, that is not Trinton Sturdivant in the jeans. He ain't that fucking big.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 1:02 PM
MLB HOT STOVE ACTION
With the winter meetings heating up I figured I should add my two cents to some of the rumors and signings already made.
First off I hate the Tom Glavine signing by the Braves. The Braves had two reliable starters last season in John Smoltz and Tim Hudson but after that the rotation consisted of 5 day old Mexican food. Instead of going after a couple of great lefties still in their prime like Johan Santana and Erik Bedard, they instead wasted $8 million on a washed up semen rag of a pitcher.
Don't get me wrong, Glavine is a Hall of Fame pitcher and would be worth having 10 years ago. But now he blows. Plus he is an enormous douchebag who is all about the money. He left Atlanta for the Mets in 2002 because the Mets offered up a deal worth a few million dollars more than the Braves offered. Glavine is the epitome of what is wrong with today's player$. In short I hope he fucking blows his elbow out and his name appears on the Mitchell Report. He deserves it and don't get fooled by the lovey dovey bullshit about him taking a hometown discount of $8 million to come back to the Braves. With the Braves losing Andruw Jones and Edgar Renteria and only adding shithead Glavine I think they have taken a step back.
Moving along, how in the hell did Torii Hunter get $90 million? I know the guy is a gold glove centerfielder but didn't the Angels just overpay in order to sign Gary Matthew Jr. last season to play centerfield? I'm confused. Hunter is a good player and sometimes deserves to be an All-Star but he is no superstar. It scares me to think of what Andruw Jones will get in the open market because he is a much better player than Torii. Hunter will never be worth the amount of money the Angels paid him because he isn't a star player like Vlad. But fuck it, it's not my money and the Angels still can't decide if they are playing their games in Anaheim or Los Angeles.
Who will trade for Johan Santana? That is the potentially $200 million dollar question. If the Red Sox include stud centerfielder of the present/future in Jacoby Ellsbury along with Jon Lester, Justin Masterson, and Jed Lowrie then the deal will be made. If I was the Red Sox I wouldn't trade Ellsbury because I think he will be a great player for a long time plus Lester has the potential to be a really good middle of the rotation starter. But of course dominating lefty starters don't grow on trees and Santana would be filthy in a Sox uni. So if your Theo Epstein you have to make the decision of keeping future stars which could help build a dynasty in the next 5-10 years or you can get Santana and be THE dynasty right now. Also the fucking Yankees come into play and you know they would jump at the chance to get Santana after overpaying to resign Mariano Rivera and Jorge Posado. Reportedly the Yankees don't want to give up Joba Chamberlain in a deal and if this is true they are idiots. Chamberlain will flame out in 2-3 years.
The Baltimore Orioles are looking to rebuild...haha, I'm sorry, haven't they been rebuilding for a decade now? Excuse me while I wipe the blood spewing from my ears. Fucking Angelos. Any who, the O's are taking offers for stud lefty starter Bedard,
shortstop/going to switch to thirdbaseman Miguel Tejada, and thirdbaseman Melvin Mora. Supposedly the Angels and Dodgers are the two most heavily involved with talks for Bedard. Bedard still has two years left on his current contract and is just reaching the prime of his career. The O's should be able to get at least 2 high end prospects along with a relief pitcher for Bedard. He posted better numbers than Santana last year while playing on a horrible team. If the Dodgers are willing to trade Clayton Kershaw and Matt Kemp then I think the O's should make the trade. Kershaw is a future stud lefty and Kemp could step in and play centerfield immediately for the Orioles. Plus the Dodgers get a great lefty in Bedard who would be huge for them in overtaking the Diamondbacks and the Rockies in their division.
As for Miguel Tejada, the O's should ask for Brandon Wood from the Angels and nothing more. The Angels need a shortstop and Tejada would be a great bat for their lineup protecting Vlad. Wood would be the O's future 3B and help the rebuilding process by coming up in a lineup with present superstar in the making in Nick Markakis and a future one in draft pick Matt Wieters. I repeat the O's have to make these trades if they are serious about being a competitive team in the AL East. If you ask any O's fan if they would be happy with a future middle of the lineup consisting of Markakis, Kemp, Wood, and Wieters they would probably rip your pants down and fellate away. In regards to Melvin Mora they should trade him to the Phillies for a couple of pitching prospects.
The St. Louis Cardinals need a shortstop after declining their option on David Eckstein. Jack Wilson would be a good fit in St. Louis while packaging him with Matt Morris for one of the Cardinals young pitchers.
Kudos goes out to the Twins and Rays for making a blockbuster trade yesterday. The Twins get Delmon Young who should develop into a great hitter after finishing second in the ROY voting this season. The Rays get young righty starter Matt Garza which gives them an extremely talented young rotation with Scott Kazmir and Jamie Shields. I know the Rays suck ass but a lot of teams would kill just to have one of those three young guns in their rotation. With that being said I'm sure the Rays will find some way to screw it up.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (email@example.com) at 11:05 AM
WAIT A SECOND, THAT CAN NOT BE...
I finally got all my shit together and was getting ready to write a good article about the latest MLB Hot Stove rumors going on and then I came upon this picture. Now that I have seen it I have to question everything I see on television. I mean there is no way an actress like her could let herself go this way. I heard she just got engaged and now wonder if she fell madly in love with a Dunkin Donuts manager.
Anyways, don't send your hate mail to me. This is BarstoolSports fault! I'm still trying to convince myself it isn't real.
Oh yeah, click here to see who it is.
Posted by Matt Fairchild (firstname.lastname@example.org) at 10:36 AM