Thursday, June 12, 2008

ATLANTA TRIES TO KEEP TITLE OF WORST SPORTS TOWN


The Atlanta Hawks decided to give coach Mike Woodson a two year extension despite never having a winning season and having an overall record of 106 wins and 222 losses during his four seasons at the Highlight Factory.
Um, what the fuck are they thinking? Woodson is one of the worst basketball coaches I have ever witnessed. He can't even draw up plays for a half court offense. The guy was begging to get fired all season with his team underachieving. And yet somehow making the playoffs at 8 games under .500 is a reason to give him an extension? Idiots I tell you.

Throw in the other curious decisions of the local teams such as the Thrashers deciding to keep GM Don Waddell despite the club never having the experience of winning a playoff game in almost a decade of existence, the Falcons decision to draft Matt Ryan and then give him $72 million despite never playing a down in the NFL after the Michael Vick fiasco, and the Braves going down the shitter with more aging stars going on the disabled list. Yet people wonder why Atlanta gets a rap as such a horrible sports town? They beg the fans not to show up with their idiotic moves.

The professional teams overall track record is the reason why Atlanta is such a huge Georgia Bulldogs and overall college football city. They give you reason to root for them because they tend to be winners and are enjoying to watch. The rest of Atlanta sports is not for the most part. And yes, I know the Bulldogs play in Athens but they pretty much own the city of Atlanta with all the grads living here.

So what could be done to remedy all of this ineptitude? New ownership. The Hawks and Thrashers are owned by the Atlanta Spirit Group and they simply don't know how to run an organization. Their decisions on GMs is horrible with both organizations failing to bring in top notch minds in their respective sports. Waddell and recently fired GM Billy Knight are just examples. Same with the Atlanta Falcons. Rich McKay was a horrible GM and his replacement is some college scout who already has displayed an ability to know...well...nothing. And don't even get me started with the Braves GM Frank Wren. Recently retired John Schuerholz was a genius at trades but his protege Wren was a failure in Baltimore and his decision not to add a starting pitcher halfway through the season last year cost the Braves a legitimate chance of making the playoffs. But of course bringing back Tom Glavine was pure brilliance to a staff that already had Mike Hampton who just finished filming his scenes for "Unbreakable 2" and the great but due to go down with an injury John Smoltz.

At least college football season is only 2 1/2 months away. Georgia should be the preseason #1 team in the country or near the top and Georgia Tech fired Chan Gailey and replaced him with Navy's Paul Johnson who should have Tech playing for New Year's Day bowl games before you know it.

SOCCER LOOKS EASY WITH BOOBS


Video HT: WithLeather via The Spoiler

THE DAILY DUMP

The Daily Dump is SportsCrack's review of the day before today while sitting on the porcelain throne, sometimes painful, sometimes oh so sweet...

MLB
-The Washington Nationals are such a miserable fucking team that even when they have dramatic homeruns by players such as Lastings Milledge to win games they manage to get in fights with each other. This time it was between Elijah Dukes (huge shock right?) and manager Manny Acta after the homerun. Mr. Irrelevant has the video...

Damn, Dukes just burned Acta with the "fuck off I'm not going to high five your ass" gesture at the end of the game. With the recent scuffles between the Rays players, the Red Sox players, and now the Nationals it clearly shows people in the East are going crazy with this scolding hell of a summer.

-Alfonso Soriano is now out 6 weeks after getting plunk in the hand and breaking a bone in last night's win over the Atlanta Braves. With the injury expect Mark De Rosa to be moved back out to left field and Ronny Cedeno to play more second base. The Cubs are still in first place but you have to wonder if this will be the catalyst for another collapse of epic proportions for the Cubbie faithful. Oh wait, we still have like 90 plus fucking games left, never mind about an epic collapse.
Rick Sutcliffe has a new favorite color, it's called Erin Andrews panties...

Sutcliffe is a funny mofo and I hope he gets real healthy real fast. I met him at a bar in Spring Training down in Scottsdale, AZ a few years back for Fat Tuesday and the guy was hysterical and of course drunk as hell. He was with Bob Brenly and my dad and I started up a conversation with them and they were both great guys. Later on in the night Brenly had to pull Sutcliffe's tongue out of some 20 something year old blonde's mouth just to get him out of the place. God it was fucking classic. Sutcliffe is so tall it looked like a giraffe feeding his baby. Get better Suts, baseball needs more characters like you.

-Dan Uggla was having an Ugg game with 3 strikeouts against Phillies starter Cole Hamels(13 K's) but then the Phillies got stupid and put in Tom Flash Gordon to preserve the game. Cue the dramatics...

Walk off grand slam!!

COLLEGE FOOTBALL
-My alma mater, Georgia State, has decided to throw their hat into the college football world and will be hiring former Georgia Tech coach Bill Curry as their first head coach today. The Panthers will begin play in 2010 under Curry and their home games will be in the Georgia Dome while playing in Division 1-AA. The state of Georgia has so much talent in football it shouldn't be hard to recruit kids who want to play in a facility like the Georgia Dome. Being an alumnus I might now have a reason not to say "fuck off" when the boosters call my cell phone asking for donations. And just a head's up Georgia State officials, if you want a good showing for football games sell beer at the Dome. Beer is liquid gold for college students.

-You wonder why I don't like Bobby Petrino so much? Well now he kicked off a Fairchild off his team. Okay, so Freddie isn't related to me because he has a year round dark tan unlike myself and because the guy beats his women apparently. Also throw in the fact he has athletic ability and decided to attend that hell hole in Fayetteville and...well shit, we aren't related at all. It's a big loss for the Razorbacks though as Fairchild was a starting linebacker who many projected to be All-SEC this year.
Call them Hogs Bobby...

Fucking pathetic aren't they!